Day 95 - 97
Good to be back on KTC and survived another weekend. I am so close to the HOF now. It seems like I have been quit forever but the 97 days has been quick. Once I get into the triple digits of quit days, I am only going to write in this journal on days that are significant.
So this weekend was actually a joy to be quit. I felt like I got to give back in support. For those that texted and called me for support. Thank you for trusting me. I am not a professional but I hope my coaching and cheer-leading was helpful. I am so inspired and proud that you won your matches on your own. I was just loving the opportunity to be a coach and cheerleader. (I always wanted to be a coach for a living)
Anyway, here is a story that I will relate to tobacco. At Lake Powell they had a sling shot. (The kind you see at basketball games that they shoot shirts to the crowd)
Well my youngest son caught a lizard. The boys would put the lizard in the pouch and launch it into the lake. They did this a few times and then my boy thought the lizard had enough. He swam the lizard back to where he found it an let it go. He got back in the lake and swam back. When he got to the other side of the shore, they noticed that the lizard was on Scotty's back. So the lizard must have jumped on his back but they took that as the lizard wanted to play some more. So they launched the lizard a few more times into the lake.
Finally when Scotty retrieved the lizard, the lizard was missing a leg. So all the kids told Scotty to put the lizard out of his misery. Scotty walked the lizard up a sandy hill to a large rock. Set the lizard on the rock and then picked up another rock in his had.
Without thought, without hesitation he slammed the rock on the lizard and killed it. The boys and girls where in shock. Some yelled at Scotty but his job was to kill the lizard and he executed it without ceremony or thought....He just did it.
I am sharing this story because with some of my conversations this weekend, and some of the post that I have read, I think Scotty presents a good example in fighting cravings. You don't hesitate. Once you make a decision, you execute the objective.
Whats the point in letting a lizard suffer any longer when it has already been decided to kill it.
Whats the point in entertaining a craving when it was already decided that you are quit? The longer you entertain a craving, the more difficult that craving becomes. You already made the choice to quit so execute your quit today. Let temptations lie or kill it.
In Lake Powell, there are many tall canyon walls. We found a great spot with many levels to cliff dive. Nice deep water and with depth meters, you can jump safely without fear of hitting rocks.
I stood on a cliff. I have done it before but I was nervous this time. I knew that I would jump and be okay. Yet I didn't jump. I just kept staring at the water. The longer I looked, the more I second guessed and the harder it was to leap off the cliff. My same son climbed up on the cliff. He said, "Dad are you going to jump?" I said, "Yeah, just building up the nerve to." He said, "If you are going to do it, then do it. If you think too long, you will second guess yourself into being a chicken." He then said, I don't over-think because I am not a chicken I came up here to jump into the water so that's just what you do"...and then he jumped.
He splashed in the water, came up and said, see dad you just do it and you will be fine. That kid is 14 and I just turned 42. So I stared again but over thought. I finally jumped and when I hit the water, I came up realizing that jumping wasn't hard. It was the thinking and indecisiveness that made it hard.
Morale of the story, You already decided to quit. The decision is made, if you over think, entertain, or regret that you quit during a crave you just made your quit difficult. If you quit and post roll, no craving should get you because the decision has already been made. Your are nic free today period! If you got yourself in a mess where you have over thought it. Let someone come to the cliff with you and jump first. The craving will go away and you will see the ease in beating the addicted mind.
In short
When you have a craving, don't entertain it. Like the lizard on the rock, quickly put it out of its misery. Its already going to die, you don't need a production or ceremony just kill the craving.
Once you post roll and quit for the day, don't over-think it. You quit today, that's it. You don't need to worry about a craving. If it comes, there is no point to think about it because you quit today. Who cares about tomorrow. Like jumping the cliff. Its fun and an adrenaline rush. Don't waste your time in thinking about jumping. Just leap and enjoy the fun of your quit and triumphs over addiction.
