Mthomastherapy

[Pinched]

KTC Sucks ass today but I am going to love you guys tomorrow for helping me stay quit. Until then, GO TO HELL....Friends...Dicks today, Badasses tomorrow. 'Finger'

I absolutely love this statement right here! You are a rock among quitters...dick!

[Mthomas3824]

744 days Quit

Man for the longest time my quit has been easy. Even the last 140 days of sobriety have been, well surprising and just fun. I didn't miss anything nicotine or alcohol related.

I still posted roll because I was resolved to the truth that the illness of addiction can not be cured but only treated. Posting roll was my daily application to stay quit.

Wife flies to Arizona yesterday so the cats away...this mouse naturally thinks its time to play.

Without warning, my mind began to justify a bottle of whiskey and a can of skoal. I did entertain how nice it would be to retreat into my man cave and play banjo while drinking and chewing. I needed to get it out of my mind and dismiss these thoughts...

This was a powerful craving. I text the, "stay ghey" group....Tell them that I am really craving and ask for permission to cave. (request denied) they get me laughing and the crave retreats.

I thought that if I caved, I would post day 1 on everything. It would be easier to track. 'Crazy' My sister called and I told her that my head wasn't on straight. She said, "did you promise today". I answered yes. Sister: "Well be a man of your word today and see how you feel tomorrow." Damn I knew that but just needed to hear it, I guess. Plus my wife isn't back until Sunday so just keep your word today; you still have Thur, Friday and Saturday if you feel so inclined but don't break your promise today.

Woke up today and texted the gheys. Made a promise to quit and started my daily treatment. Stop of at 7'11 and walk past a guy right out front smoking a cigar. A shitty stinky ugly cigar, being smoked by an addict who probably hasn't showered all week....and yet I craved? 'Crazy' Took a deep breath, thought, "its all a lie and stay true to the quit. Stay Ghey Mark, Stay Ghey!"... drove away and posted on KTC the second I came into work.

I was so mad at myself for being slow to remember and quick to forget why I wanted to quit in the first place. 'bang head' Well, it does get easier but it never ends. You must treat your addiction everyday.

If there are any 100+ day quitters. Your quit has become easy and the only time you think about dipping is when you post roll. (You start thinking, "if I don't post roll, I wont ever think about nicotine") Those thoughts are absolute bullshit! Nicotine craves are stored in memory as a pleasure not a poison. Your subconscious will put those thoughts in your brain and bypass your frontal lobe. You are not in control of craving. You can only respond or react to the crave. You must make the promise daily so that you are on guard for the subconscious and prevent it from overpowering your logic. If you don't, that sneaky bitch is going to rationalize a cave. I am 744 days into my quit and without posting roll, I would not have protection or the reminder to give it a day before doing anything I would regret.

I know I would regret it. So today I already made the choice to quit. We'll see how I feel tomorrow but now its time to go about my day.

I would cave if I didn't have the accountability of the brotherhood. I am weak but the weak don't cave. The foolish cave like a dog lapping up their own vomit.

I AM QUIT AND SOBER March 27th, 2014 all damn day!

KTC Sucks ass today but I am going to love you guys tomorrow for helping me stay quit. Until then, GO TO HELL....Friends...Dicks today, Badasses tomorrow. 'Finger'

[EFNKodiak]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

fist pump!

Thanks for helping me enjoy today. It's been great, the pm's, texts and here. Feel good to share victories. ? We are not alone in our quits! ?

congrats Mark, albeit a day late! Keep up the quality work you do in here! Proud to call you my brother in quit!

JUST AWESOME!!!!

Stay quit and stay inspirational!

Great stuff. Nice work.

[Grizzly25]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

fist pump!

Thanks for helping me enjoy today. It's been great, the pm's, texts and here. Feel good to share victories. ? We are not alone in our quits! ?

congrats Mark, albeit a day late! Keep up the quality work you do in here! Proud to call you my brother in quit!

JUST AWESOME!!!!

Stay quit and stay inspirational!

[eric71]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

fist pump!

Thanks for helping me enjoy today. It's been great, the pm's, texts and here. Feel good to share victories. ? We are not alone in our quits! ?

congrats Mark, albeit a day late! Keep up the quality work you do in here! Proud to call you my brother in quit!

[Mthomas3824]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

fist pump!

Thanks for helping me enjoy today. It's been great, the pm's, texts and here. Feel good to share victories. ? We are not alone in our quits! ?

[Scowick65]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

fist pump!

[Diesel2112]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

Slow clap...

[G]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

Goo stuff. Congrats.

[Nolaq]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

Nice job bro!

Very glad you stuck around.

[T-Cell]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

Congrats MT! 'oh yeah'

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

Nice 2 years MThomas!

[Coach Steve]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

'BanDog'

[pbrain04]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats MT...keep doing what you are doing. You inspire a lot of us everyday single day.

[Derk40]

Okay, so here is my story. When I was in high school, I wrestled varsity for three years. I was small to start but as I grew, I tried to keep my weight down to be competitive. I usually was a pound or two heavy the day before weigh in. A simple trick to loose weight, spit all day long. One day, I was so sick of the jolly ranchers. My tongue was cut up, I was hungry and I couldn't salivate. One of my teammates told me that if I needed saliva, to put this in my mouth. At first, I didn't know if I was sick or if I liked the buzzy, dizzy feeling but man could I spit and make weight!!! (I wasn't thinking about food either)

I married my high school sweetheart a few years later and knew she didn't approve. Hell, she didn't even know about my on and off again habit. I kept that from her, my family, church members, really it was my private pleasure and I actually liked doing something that was all about me and no one else was a part of it.

In business, I discovered people I worked with were just like me. I would go golfing and notice a friend fooling around with his golf bag. Hey, I do that when I dip...sure enough, he was getting a dip too. It soon turned from a private pleasure to an underground group of friends where is was welcome and fun.

One day, my wife called me. She said, "I have some great news!" I asked what it was. She begins to say that she was putting a load of laundry in and thought to check the pockets of my shorts. (I thought she was going to say that she found some cash.) To my shock, she said, "I found your apple skoal and didn't wash it." I was actually scared. I froze, didn't know what to say. I imagine that would be the same feeling I would have if I was cheating on her. We talked and I told her that I would quit.

Another time, my son found a can I hid in the entertainment center. My kids were devastated. I decided right then that it wasn't worth the embarrassment or the shame I feel...so I'm done. If for no other reason, I love my family and this is not good. "Dad, you're my hero, you could die." Broke my heart. Isn't that reason to quit right then and there? What kind of example am I? Even if it is hidden, do I lead my children by example or word? I want to claim both.

Fast forward to the time my son wanted to come with me to the gas station...I sent him out to the car. "Hey, will you see if I left my keys in the car" While I was quickly trying to get a can, I saw him walking in. I told the attendant, "Hide it, put it down!" She realized I didn't want my son to see. I thought I got away with it. I didn't buy it and from my vantage point, he didn't see anything. Well, he told his mom that he thought I bought some tobacco so here we go again.

Now they don't even ask me if I am chewing, they just assume that I am. I know that I can't quit for them but only for me. I have lived my life that being selfish is wrong. However, I am being selfish because only I can quit...for me and no one else. I started doing this from an individual sport and now I can only quit as an individual with support. I am a man of my word, but chewing tobacco has made me a hypocrite. I don't want the added expense or the lower integrity in my life. I like to be alone but I think that is false. I like to spend time with a plant more than my family and friends who would judge me.

Why does this take precedence over what I care most about? If you asked me what is most important to me, skoal mint pouches wouldn't even come up in the conversation. If you watch my behavior, that wouldn't be the case. The reality is I have put chewing tobacco ahead of God, Family, Friends, Work, Sleep, etc.

I want tobacco to know...I want me to prove that It is no longer important and shouldn't be a part of my life. So I am breaking it off. Time to move on and discover a life tobacco free.

I wrote this yesterday and just re-read.  Day two, I am still determined.  I'm at work and can't leave.  Today would have been a perfect day for a can.  Yes I have had cravings but I am still in the fight.  What has been the hardest is the sadness I feel today.  I never cry, but my eyes seem to well up every time I recognize that I am an addict.  I thought I was faithful to my wife of 20 years just because I haven't had sex with another woman.  I'm recognizing that I cheated on her and my kids.  My mistress was a can of tobacco.  I lied, deceived, excused and loved my mistress of tobacco.  Some may think that is a little over the top.  I don't.  It is spot on.  I have to come to terms with my faults, accept that I am an addict.  So what, I'm an addict! Fine I'll live with it, like a sore knee but I am going to live and it will always be tobacco free.  Far greater than the cravings...I'm just sad today.  The walk to freedom is going to hurt, but I want to be independent.  I'll go to hell and back for freedom.  I'm off to hell, but I'll be back.

Mark 2 weeks after you posted this I found KTC. I spent 4 days reading everything I could. I knew I wanted to quit but honestly didn't think I could. Not only that I knew that if I failed again I was giving up, I wasn't going to continue the life of slavery. I believe it was the evening of March 31 I started at the beginning of your intro and read this. I felt a intense connection, your post and so many others gave me my first glimpse of hope leading me to jumping in with both feet and quitting. I remember early in my quit telling you that you were my inspiration to quit and even though I'm older I looked up to you like a older brother. Now I realize we were both new and shakey at best. You were also the first fellow quitter I talked to and met.
Your quit has and still inspires me and so many others. I thank you for being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a friend who cares. I know today is just another day but, two years later you can look your kids and your wife in the eye and they know you will be honest to them. That's part of that serenity. We've probably seen more growth in these two years than any other time in our lives.
Congratulation on today's win, remember it's the PRESENT! 2 Years later

Day 730 or Year 2

Happy Birthday Quit!

1. Admit that you can't quit nicotine without help. (Honesty)
2. Search and ask for help (Humility)
3. Find KTC (You are not here by accident)
4. Do what you're told with faith no question or changes. (Post roll, keep your word, repeat)
5. Ask for support and give support. (Participate)
6. Return back to 1 and start over.

Never in the beginning of my quit did I think I would be quit 2 years. The future was so vast, I thought I would slip up. I have stuck with KTC and haven't lost. I post roll, keep my word and repeat. It all starts today. Yesterday is over, Tomorrow is only a dream but today is a gift. That's why it's call the present. Quit for today and live today quit. (Nothing but totally Ghey for you all :wub: )

Two Years! Congrats! You are one of the Kings of Inspiration for me. Thank you so much for what you do here! 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats on 2 years! Reading your post  the trying to make the purchase at the C-store without the kids noticing really struck home. I remember acting like I was making a stop for the kids... telling them to go pick out some candy as I ran to the front to make a quick purchase of some copenhagen... that is pretty whack. It is crazy the things we do when we are enslaved  owned by a can of dirt. Freedom is a great thing. Proud to be quit with you today!