rtpope intro

[FMBM707]

Congrats on being just shy of 6 months of QUIT and with the news of a baby boy on the way. Your intro has been inspiring. I'll QUIT with you any day. Keep up the good QUIT- it's something you'll never regret.

[rtpope]

I had a minor flashback to week 1 of quitting today. I remembered tearing into a pack of gum like the answers to all the world's problems were inside. I remember having to mentally fight my ass off minute by minute ti stay quit. On day 181 I'm not cured, but quitting isn't as hard....thank God for that

[Doc Chewfree]

Love reading your intro Pope... Congrats on the upcoming son...

Proud to be quit with you for the rest of our lives brother!

Grats, brother pope! Every man should have a son.

[Shorthorn]

Love reading your intro Pope... Congrats on the upcoming son...

Proud to be quit with you for the rest of our lives brother!

[basshaug]

Pope,

Thanks for posting in your intro and bumping it up and congrats on the upcoming son! I just read it and have some thoughts I'd like to share.

First of all, this intro is chock full of badass quit. Secondly, great job documenting your quit.

Your statement to stop and think about the commitment you are making each day was a great point that I think everyone on KTC needs to be reminded of on occasion. Roll shouldn't just be posting a number and your name, it needs some backbone and a little contemplation will help give it that extra meaning.

There are a lot of similarities between the beginning of your quit and mine from the Bachelor party/wedding situation and a text group of numbnuts saving your ass right down to the rage/funk I had today in my early 60s. Fuck nicotine, there is no fucking way I ever let that bitch win. I quit with you today.

Edit: you may not realize this, but you had a real life gordon visit in your intro when mr. Lunar stopped in and started dropping gordonian knowledge up in here.

PS. my old lady gave up smoking a couple weeks after I cunt punched the nic bitch, and in some of our fun double nic rages she's gotten her panties all twisted up about how there is no good fake cigarette alternative, compared with fake chew. Well today I realized I need to replenish my stash because it was a rough day and I want my toolbox full the next time. We'll I went ahead and ordered some new fake shit addressed to none other than James Gordon so I'll be able to pick it up from the mail room without having to have our dumb ass e-cig conversation again.

[rtpope]

Today is day 155 for me. Life is starting to get a little more normal from a dipping perspective. I'm not sure if I'm past the "normal hard spots" or not, but I do know that I can stay quit each day by putting much, much less thought into it than on day 1. It's really weird how the brain and body work. During the first few weeks of my quit, I felt like it took every fiber of my being to remain nic free. Now I feel like it would take an earth shattering force to break my resolve. I'm not bragging, nor am I getting cocky - just pointing out that my quit is getting more automatic. Not having to fight through every minute is amazing.

I found out on Monday that the child we have been expecting in Dec is a boy. I have 2 nieces and they are amazing. I would have been satisfied with a girl, but I am beyond super duper excited about my boy. All week long i keep thinking of things that I can't wait to introduce to my son. We're going to play wiffle ball, baseball, basketball, football, golf, tennis, go fishing, duck hunting, deer hunting, drive go-carts, drive 4-wheelers - basically do all the fun shit i grew up doing. Then I thought what I wasn't going to teach him....the first thing on the list was that tobacco was okay and manly. My Dad never dipped or chewed, but the rest of the males in my family did. Chewing was romanticized so much that I couldn't help but fall into the trap. Read my first post and you will understand the full story...

Knowing that I will not contribute to a desire for my boy to poison himself is amazing. I don't know how to describe that thought other than to say that I may fail in so many ways as a parent, but I will have gotten that one part right. I quit for me because I was killing myself. I now have so much more to stay quit for. I guess I'm just saying that I'm counting my blessings and being quit is one of them. I have so many of you guys to thank for that so I'll just say thanks to anyone who is reading this because your involvement in KTC makes my quit stronger.

[Done4Me]

I had a weird epiphany yesterday followed by two of the most real dip dreams I've ever had. I was at an umpiring buddy's house hanging out by his pool, eating some awesome snacks and drinking beer. I was about 6 or 7 beers in when my buddy's son (who is about my age) rolls up to the pool with his wife. My buddy's son had a wad of lip dirt right in the front of his mouth, proudly showing the world that he is in fact a slave of the nic bitch.

I was buzzed up and started having mild cravings, nothing new, so I popped in some gum and went on about my business of pool side lounging. As my wife was driving me home, she asked how I felt when I saw the guy with a wad in his lip. I thought about and I had mixed emotions. The sane, rational part of me was so grateful that I am no longer slowly killing myself. I'm so glad to not be controlled by a chemical. I owe that feeling to KTC. Before finding this site, I was resigned to the fact that I would never quit and may die of cancer. I was 27 when I quit....what bullshit to think that something has so much control over me that I'm okay with it killing me.....

There was one part of me that for some fucked up reason missed being the disgusting guy that showed up to places with a wad in my lip. I for some reason missed doing the "mmm hmmm hmmm...(spit a stream of shit juice)...yea...." As a kid, all of my male role models chewed or dipped. Tobacco was synonymous with manhood. As I spent 13 years as a slave, dipping became my identity. Of course I identified with other things, but dipping was the ever constant piece of my identity. As a baseball umpire, dipping fit. As an outdoorsman, dipping fit. As a "good ole boy," dipping fit.

This realization opened the door for my wife (who has been so supportive) to say "If you started dipping again, I would be very disappointed and upset, but I would understand." I immediately told her that she can't crack the door for me to ever dip again. I've shut the door and add a nail to it daily when I post roll. Of course she doesn't get that, but then she's not really supposed to...

I guess thinking about the identity "crisis" and knowing my wife wouldn't kill me led my subconscious mind to think about having a dip while golfing and drinking with my boys. Every dip dream has ended basically the same way. I think how I'm going to tell Slug.go, Krusty, Aggie, RaliPaul, Grizzlyhasclaws and now Done4Me what happened. I get panicky as I realize there are no good reasons why I ended up with shit in my lip. I woke up in a dead sweat and feeling pissed, ashamed and worthless. When I realized it was just a dream, I felt a relief that only you guys will understand.

Great post. Proud to quit with you.

My wife is very supportive and encouraging. But she doesn't understand the addiction. Nor does she fully understand the health risk.

Until 222 days ago when I found killthecan, I didn't understand either. It's wonderful to be armed and educated. It's like being awake after spending 23 years in a coma.

Thanks for posting this RTP. Strikes a chord even though I'm a few months behind you. Proud to quit with quitters like you EDD.

Great post brother. You are winning and the dreams are signs of healing. You will never let your quit brother of May down.
Quit with you every damn day!

RTP - You are a fine example of +1s to the younger quitters like myself. Sounds like you have a fine wife who now knows to never go there again. Quit with you today.

[Doc Chewfree]

I had a weird epiphany yesterday followed by two of the most real dip dreams I've ever had. I was at an umpiring buddy's house hanging out by his pool, eating some awesome snacks and drinking beer. I was about 6 or 7 beers in when my buddy's son (who is about my age) rolls up to the pool with his wife. My buddy's son had a wad of lip dirt right in the front of his mouth, proudly showing the world that he is in fact a slave of the nic bitch.

I was buzzed up and started having mild cravings, nothing new, so I popped in some gum and went on about my business of pool side lounging. As my wife was driving me home, she asked how I felt when I saw the guy with a wad in his lip. I thought about and I had mixed emotions. The sane, rational part of me was so grateful that I am no longer slowly killing myself. I'm so glad to not be controlled by a chemical. I owe that feeling to KTC. Before finding this site, I was resigned to the fact that I would never quit and may die of cancer. I was 27 when I quit....what bullshit to think that something has so much control over me that I'm okay with it killing me.....

There was one part of me that for some fucked up reason missed being the disgusting guy that showed up to places with a wad in my lip. I for some reason missed doing the "mmm hmmm hmmm...(spit a stream of shit juice)...yea...." As a kid, all of my male role models chewed or dipped. Tobacco was synonymous with manhood. As I spent 13 years as a slave, dipping became my identity. Of course I identified with other things, but dipping was the ever constant piece of my identity. As a baseball umpire, dipping fit. As an outdoorsman, dipping fit. As a "good ole boy," dipping fit.

This realization opened the door for my wife (who has been so supportive) to say "If you started dipping again, I would be very disappointed and upset, but I would understand." I immediately told her that she can't crack the door for me to ever dip again. I've shut the door and add a nail to it daily when I post roll. Of course she doesn't get that, but then she's not really supposed to...

I guess thinking about the identity "crisis" and knowing my wife wouldn't kill me led my subconscious mind to think about having a dip while golfing and drinking with my boys. Every dip dream has ended basically the same way. I think how I'm going to tell Slug.go, Krusty, Aggie, RaliPaul, Grizzlyhasclaws and now Done4Me what happened. I get panicky as I realize there are no good reasons why I ended up with shit in my lip. I woke up in a dead sweat and feeling pissed, ashamed and worthless. When I realized it was just a dream, I felt a relief that only you guys will understand.

Great post. Proud to quit with you.

My wife is very supportive and encouraging. But she doesn't understand the addiction. Nor does she fully understand the health risk.

Until 222 days ago when I found killthecan, I didn't understand either. It's wonderful to be armed and educated. It's like being awake after spending 23 years in a coma.

Thanks for posting this RTP. Strikes a chord even though I'm a few months behind you. Proud to quit with quitters like you EDD.

Great post brother. You are winning and the dreams are signs of healing. You will never let your quit brother of May down.
Quit with you every damn day!

[J2thaZ]

I had a weird epiphany yesterday followed by two of the most real dip dreams I've ever had. I was at an umpiring buddy's house hanging out by his pool, eating some awesome snacks and drinking beer. I was about 6 or 7 beers in when my buddy's son (who is about my age) rolls up to the pool with his wife. My buddy's son had a wad of lip dirt right in the front of his mouth, proudly showing the world that he is in fact a slave of the nic bitch.

I was buzzed up and started having mild cravings, nothing new, so I popped in some gum and went on about my business of pool side lounging. As my wife was driving me home, she asked how I felt when I saw the guy with a wad in his lip. I thought about and I had mixed emotions. The sane, rational part of me was so grateful that I am no longer slowly killing myself. I'm so glad to not be controlled by a chemical. I owe that feeling to KTC. Before finding this site, I was resigned to the fact that I would never quit and may die of cancer. I was 27 when I quit....what bullshit to think that something has so much control over me that I'm okay with it killing me.....

There was one part of me that for some fucked up reason missed being the disgusting guy that showed up to places with a wad in my lip. I for some reason missed doing the "mmm hmmm hmmm...(spit a stream of shit juice)...yea...." As a kid, all of my male role models chewed or dipped. Tobacco was synonymous with manhood. As I spent 13 years as a slave, dipping became my identity. Of course I identified with other things, but dipping was the ever constant piece of my identity. As a baseball umpire, dipping fit. As an outdoorsman, dipping fit. As a "good ole boy," dipping fit.

This realization opened the door for my wife (who has been so supportive) to say "If you started dipping again, I would be very disappointed and upset, but I would understand." I immediately told her that she can't crack the door for me to ever dip again. I've shut the door and add a nail to it daily when I post roll. Of course she doesn't get that, but then she's not really supposed to...

I guess thinking about the identity "crisis" and knowing my wife wouldn't kill me led my subconscious mind to think about having a dip while golfing and drinking with my boys. Every dip dream has ended basically the same way. I think how I'm going to tell Slug.go, Krusty, Aggie, RaliPaul, Grizzlyhasclaws and now Done4Me what happened. I get panicky as I realize there are no good reasons why I ended up with shit in my lip. I woke up in a dead sweat and feeling pissed, ashamed and worthless. When I realized it was just a dream, I felt a relief that only you guys will understand.

Great post. Proud to quit with you.

My wife is very supportive and encouraging. But she doesn't understand the addiction. Nor does she fully understand the health risk.

Until 222 days ago when I found killthecan, I didn't understand either. It's wonderful to be armed and educated. It's like being awake after spending 23 years in a coma.

Thanks for posting this RTP. Strikes a chord even though I'm a few months behind you. Proud to quit with quitters like you EDD.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I had a weird epiphany yesterday followed by two of the most real dip dreams I've ever had. I was at an umpiring buddy's house hanging out by his pool, eating some awesome snacks and drinking beer. I was about 6 or 7 beers in when my buddy's son (who is about my age) rolls up to the pool with his wife. My buddy's son had a wad of lip dirt right in the front of his mouth, proudly showing the world that he is in fact a slave of the nic bitch.

I was buzzed up and started having mild cravings, nothing new, so I popped in some gum and went on about my business of pool side lounging. As my wife was driving me home, she asked how I felt when I saw the guy with a wad in his lip. I thought about and I had mixed emotions. The sane, rational part of me was so grateful that I am no longer slowly killing myself. I'm so glad to not be controlled by a chemical. I owe that feeling to KTC. Before finding this site, I was resigned to the fact that I would never quit and may die of cancer. I was 27 when I quit....what bullshit to think that something has so much control over me that I'm okay with it killing me.....

There was one part of me that for some fucked up reason missed being the disgusting guy that showed up to places with a wad in my lip. I for some reason missed doing the "mmm hmmm hmmm...(spit a stream of shit juice)...yea...." As a kid, all of my male role models chewed or dipped. Tobacco was synonymous with manhood. As I spent 13 years as a slave, dipping became my identity. Of course I identified with other things, but dipping was the ever constant piece of my identity. As a baseball umpire, dipping fit. As an outdoorsman, dipping fit. As a "good ole boy," dipping fit.

This realization opened the door for my wife (who has been so supportive) to say "If you started dipping again, I would be very disappointed and upset, but I would understand." I immediately told her that she can't crack the door for me to ever dip again. I've shut the door and add a nail to it daily when I post roll. Of course she doesn't get that, but then she's not really supposed to...

I guess thinking about the identity "crisis" and knowing my wife wouldn't kill me led my subconscious mind to think about having a dip while golfing and drinking with my boys. Every dip dream has ended basically the same way. I think how I'm going to tell Slug.go, Krusty, Aggie, RaliPaul, Grizzlyhasclaws and now Done4Me what happened. I get panicky as I realize there are no good reasons why I ended up with shit in my lip. I woke up in a dead sweat and feeling pissed, ashamed and worthless. When I realized it was just a dream, I felt a relief that only you guys will understand.

Great post. Proud to quit with you.

My wife is very supportive and encouraging. But she doesn't understand the addiction. Nor does she fully understand the health risk.

Until 222 days ago when I found killthecan, I didn't understand either. It's wonderful to be armed and educated. It's like being awake after spending 23 years in a coma.

[rtpope]

I had a weird epiphany yesterday followed by two of the most real dip dreams I've ever had. I was at an umpiring buddy's house hanging out by his pool, eating some awesome snacks and drinking beer. I was about 6 or 7 beers in when my buddy's son (who is about my age) rolls up to the pool with his wife. My buddy's son had a wad of lip dirt right in the front of his mouth, proudly showing the world that he is in fact a slave of the nic bitch.

I was buzzed up and started having mild cravings, nothing new, so I popped in some gum and went on about my business of pool side lounging. As my wife was driving me home, she asked how I felt when I saw the guy with a wad in his lip. I thought about and I had mixed emotions. The sane, rational part of me was so grateful that I am no longer slowly killing myself. I'm so glad to not be controlled by a chemical. I owe that feeling to KTC. Before finding this site, I was resigned to the fact that I would never quit and may die of cancer. I was 27 when I quit....what bullshit to think that something has so much control over me that I'm okay with it killing me.....

There was one part of me that for some fucked up reason missed being the disgusting guy that showed up to places with a wad in my lip. I for some reason missed doing the "mmm hmmm hmmm...(spit a stream of shit juice)...yea...." As a kid, all of my male role models chewed or dipped. Tobacco was synonymous with manhood. As I spent 13 years as a slave, dipping became my identity. Of course I identified with other things, but dipping was the ever constant piece of my identity. As a baseball umpire, dipping fit. As an outdoorsman, dipping fit. As a "good ole boy," dipping fit.

This realization opened the door for my wife (who has been so supportive) to say "If you started dipping again, I would be very disappointed and upset, but I would understand." I immediately told her that she can't crack the door for me to ever dip again. I've shut the door and add a nail to it daily when I post roll. Of course she doesn't get that, but then she's not really supposed to...

I guess thinking about the identity "crisis" and knowing my wife wouldn't kill me led my subconscious mind to think about having a dip while golfing and drinking with my boys. Every dip dream has ended basically the same way. I think how I'm going to tell Slug.go, Krusty, Aggie, RaliPaul, Grizzlyhasclaws and now Done4Me what happened. I get panicky as I realize there are no good reasons why I ended up with shit in my lip. I woke up in a dead sweat and feeling pissed, ashamed and worthless. When I realized it was just a dream, I felt a relief that only you guys will understand.

[rtpope]

Today is day 117. My quit is so much stronger today than it was 2 weeks ago. I'm starting to get it much, much more than i used to get it. For the majority of my first 100 days, I thought the quit groups were kind of like a church sanctuary; a holy, reverent place to observe the sacred ritual of posting roll and to occasionally pass along information that was relevant to the "congregation."

I've come to learn, that like a real church, it is the people that make the experience work. Sure, we post roll religiously, with a sacredness that ensures our word means something and with a reverence for what we are promising. However, posting roll isn't all it is about. Like church, fellowship is part of the experience. Getting to know your fellow quitters and forging bonds with perfect strangers.

To the newer folks that are reading this...spend some time hanging out in your quit groups. Be the brave one that posts a random topic for discussion. I put a quote from Major League on our roll this morning and started a lively discussion that lasted all day. This is how brotherhood is formed...this is how relationships build...this is how accountability is born.

Gotta admit I admire May's brotherhood. It's some severely messed up weird shit in a foreign language movie kind of way where you can't figure out how to turn on the subtitles but that's not the point. You may not get it but watching it, you can tell May has a good thing going on. Most of all I agree with Pope's last paragraph. Strive for commonality, not differences. That's what builds a team. August has some work to do but in the last week, we've made good strides. Thanks for the lesson May!

I hope August starts to get it. It takes a while for some ppl to start to understand the seriousness of this shit. You have some good folks in August...stay diligent with your efforts to create discussion. There has been a lot of fun shit that got a lot of folks in May involved. Admittedly, it was JamesGordon and Aggie that got my head out of my ass....

[Done4Me]

Today is day 117. My quit is so much stronger today than it was 2 weeks ago. I'm starting to get it much, much more than i used to get it. For the majority of my first 100 days, I thought the quit groups were kind of like a church sanctuary; a holy, reverent place to observe the sacred ritual of posting roll and to occasionally pass along information that was relevant to the "congregation."

I've come to learn, that like a real church, it is the people that make the experience work. Sure, we post roll religiously, with a sacredness that ensures our word means something and with a reverence for what we are promising. However, posting roll isn't all it is about. Like church, fellowship is part of the experience. Getting to know your fellow quitters and forging bonds with perfect strangers.

To the newer folks that are reading this...spend some time hanging out in your quit groups. Be the brave one that posts a random topic for discussion. I put a quote from Major League on our roll this morning and started a lively discussion that lasted all day. This is how brotherhood is formed...this is how relationships build...this is how accountability is born.

Gotta admit I admire May's brotherhood. It's some severely messed up weird shit in a foreign language movie kind of way where you can't figure out how to turn on the subtitles but that's not the point. You may not get it but watching it, you can tell May has a good thing going on. Most of all I agree with Pope's last paragraph. Strive for commonality, not differences. That's what builds a team. August has some work to do but in the last week, we've made good strides. Thanks for the lesson May!

[rtpope]

Today is day 117. My quit is so much stronger today than it was 2 weeks ago. I'm starting to get it much, much more than i used to get it. For the majority of my first 100 days, I thought the quit groups were kind of like a church sanctuary; a holy, reverent place to observe the sacred ritual of posting roll and to occasionally pass along information that was relevant to the "congregation."

I've come to learn, that like a real church, it is the people that make the experience work. Sure, we post roll religiously, with a sacredness that ensures our word means something and with a reverence for what we are promising. However, posting roll isn't all it is about. Like church, fellowship is part of the experience. Getting to know your fellow quitters and forging bonds with perfect strangers.

To the newer folks that are reading this...spend some time hanging out in your quit groups. Be the brave one that posts a random topic for discussion. I put a quote from Major League on our roll this morning and started a lively discussion that lasted all day. This is how brotherhood is formed...this is how relationships build...this is how accountability is born.

[SirDerek]

Damn pope. I can't believe your supporting aggie today on roll. You sir are a true brother. I hope he has explained more to you than he has to the rest of us. Either way, you are gentleman and I am proud to quit with you.

He has explained a little more to me than everyone else, but my support of him is solid. I will support him until he misses 1 day of posting-100% is the price of admission. He knows how much his cave hurt me and everyone in May. However, He is an addict after all and if he's willing to nut up and go balls deep in this quit, I'll stand right beside him.

Besides, how big a set do you need to post a day 3 after the shit storm of day 2?

The reason Aggie is on everybody's shit list is bc it hurts to see a brother fail. We've seen the beating he took for it. Now it is time to circle the wagons, get his answers this evening and QLF.

Aug better watch the duck out, I've got a vested interest and reason to be in their group every day checking them out...

well done RT - and you got it exactly right.

When we see one fail, we should not coddle, we should not pat on the back. Instead we need to slap him (or her) in the face and spell it out for them. The 100% posting is a perfect way to start for someone who wants to gain the support back from others.

Aggie also has a pm from me to which I hope he reads and understands what is supposed to happen here to learn how to get the poison out of our life.

just keep that right foot (unless you are a leftie), ready to start kicking some a** if he lets up just once more.