Quitting

[Doc Chewfree]

Day 35:
Give your word and honor your word

1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems

One day at a time (ODAAT)

Quick Like Fuck (QLF)

Every damn Day (EDD)

NO EXCUSE EVER.

5 weeks. 35 days. 840 hours. 50400 minutes. These 5 weeks have gone by fast. One day at a time adds up. Facing triggers and beating them helps to build a solid foundation of quit because you can't plan for all the triggers so facing and beating the ones you can plan for help to conquer the unplanned triggers when they arise.

Before there was always a reason/ excuse to put poison in my lip. Work, round of golf, softball, mowing the lawn, doing stuff around the house, driving, drinking, financial problems etc. Name it and it sounded like a reason I should put shit in my lip.

As I sit here reflecting 5 weeks after making the second best decision of my life- QUITTING- I am still facing all of those things I use to do with a death dip in. I still play golf and softball. I still work, mow the lawn, drive etc. And I do it all without packing some cancer in a can into my lip. I enjoy the freedom from the shit. I enjoy making overall better decisions just because I'm QUIT. I use to find excuses/reasons to feed my addiction, now I don't. I spend more time with my family. I use to seek out opportunities to stuff my lip with poison, now there are times I don't even think about it.

I sat here on a Sunday morning today and needed to go through some financial stuff, which over the last few years hasn't been exactly pleasant and it was always a prime time death dip time. The urge was STRONG but my desire to stay QUIT was stronger because this site, because of the folks in October, because of Kakoa, because of LIVE CHAT because I want to stay QUIT.

GET INVOLVED:
I'm not sure giving your word  then honoring your word to a bunch of strangers is very effective for most people. And in the past 35 days I've seen a lot of guys go MIA or cave. For the most part these are guys that post roll (or don't edd) and run. You don't see them on Kakoa, they don't respond to PMs from other QUITTERS, they don't get to know anyone in the group or on the site and they don't post anything but roll. So for them we are a bunch of strangers and it's easier to cave to a bunch of internet strangers. In my mind they are leaving the door open, they aren't quite serious about the QUIT and they are statistically more likely to cave. The guys that have caved, come back and answered the questions have mostly said they didn't get involved the first time around. Now some of those folks are highly involved and have become bad ass quitters in their own right- BigRedDude comes instantly to mind.

I'm not saying that I've made friends here in 5 weeks, but I can tell you that there is a bond. We all have different stories but we all also understand and can relate to an addiction. The more you get involved in the site, within your group, with guys outside of your group, the stronger your QUIT will become. I genuinely care about some of the other folks in my group and I want to see them succeed with their QUIT which means I also have to stay quit.

Sometimes when I'm facing my own demons I think about what others are going through and it helps me to power through whatever it is that I'm facing. It helps to get involved and read/listen to other peoples trials and successes. The more involved I get the stronger my daily promise becomes, the stronger my resolve for QUIT becomes. Now I'm promising people with names, people that have a story, people that I have a little history with. I wouldn't know what others were going through if I was a roll post a day and run kind of quitter. At first I didn't need anything but the adrenaline of QUITTING, the hate of the nic bitch and the sheer determination that I was going to beat it. I still have that determination but some days it's not as strong as other days and getting on this site of Kakoa, or live chat helps during those times and it helps even more the more you get to know people.

I still have urges, really strong urges at times. My brain tries it's damnedest to convince me to grab some cancer because it would be alright. It's all lies. It always has been. There is nothing good that would ever come about from grabbing a pinch of poison.

I don't do that shit anymore.
I don't want cancer.
I made a promise to quit for today and I will keep my word.
I love the freedom of being quit.
My desire to be quit is stronger then anything the nic bitch can throw at me because the alternative it worse.

Making the decision to QUIT every day isn't a burden, it's a relief, an instance weight gets lifted off my shoulders. Doing the right thing = less stress. QUITTING every damn day is the RIGHT THING.

AMFM, you are winning. Enjoy your new freedom. Smell that clean unadulterated nic free air. Kiss those girls on the head without worrying about leaving a brown shit stain.
What you get from this site is proportional to what you put in to it...the result is brotherhood. I can't think of another word for it.
I'm hopeful that the thing with your tongue turns out to be nothing but go find out. Putting it off won't help. Also, don't worry too much about the past. We all have our regrets, but you are quit now. That is all we can control. We would all love to go back in time and smack the shit out our younger selves.
Keep up the good work. You strengthen your quit and mine with your posts. QLF!

[FMBM707]

Day 35:
Give your word and honor your word

1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems

One day at a time (ODAAT)

Quick Like Fuck (QLF)

Every damn Day (EDD)

NO EXCUSE EVER.

5 weeks. 35 days. 840 hours. 50400 minutes. These 5 weeks have gone by fast. One day at a time adds up. Facing triggers and beating them helps to build a solid foundation of quit because you can't plan for all the triggers so facing and beating the ones you can plan for help to conquer the unplanned triggers when they arise.

Before there was always a reason/ excuse to put poison in my lip. Work, round of golf, softball, mowing the lawn, doing stuff around the house, driving, drinking, financial problems etc. Name it and it sounded like a reason I should put shit in my lip.

As I sit here reflecting 5 weeks after making the second best decision of my life- QUITTING- I am still facing all of those things I use to do with a death dip in. I still play golf and softball. I still work, mow the lawn, drive etc. And I do it all without packing some cancer in a can into my lip. I enjoy the freedom from the shit. I enjoy making overall better decisions just because I'm QUIT. I use to find excuses/reasons to feed my addiction, now I don't. I spend more time with my family. I use to seek out opportunities to stuff my lip with poison, now there are times I don't even think about it.

I sat here on a Sunday morning today and needed to go through some financial stuff, which over the last few years hasn't been exactly pleasant and it was always a prime time death dip time. The urge was STRONG but my desire to stay QUIT was stronger because this site, because of the folks in October, because of Kakoa, because of LIVE CHAT because I want to stay QUIT.

GET INVOLVED:
I'm not sure giving your word  then honoring your word to a bunch of strangers is very effective for most people. And in the past 35 days I've seen a lot of guys go MIA or cave. For the most part these are guys that post roll (or don't edd) and run. You don't see them on Kakoa, they don't respond to PMs from other QUITTERS, they don't get to know anyone in the group or on the site and they don't post anything but roll. So for them we are a bunch of strangers and it's easier to cave to a bunch of internet strangers. In my mind they are leaving the door open, they aren't quite serious about the QUIT and they are statistically more likely to cave. The guys that have caved, come back and answered the questions have mostly said they didn't get involved the first time around. Now some of those folks are highly involved and have become bad ass quitters in their own right- BigRedDude comes instantly to mind.

I'm not saying that I've made friends here in 5 weeks, but I can tell you that there is a bond. We all have different stories but we all also understand and can relate to an addiction. The more you get involved in the site, within your group, with guys outside of your group, the stronger your QUIT will become. I genuinely care about some of the other folks in my group and I want to see them succeed with their QUIT which means I also have to stay quit.

Sometimes when I'm facing my own demons I think about what others are going through and it helps me to power through whatever it is that I'm facing. It helps to get involved and read/listen to other peoples trials and successes. The more involved I get the stronger my daily promise becomes, the stronger my resolve for QUIT becomes. Now I'm promising people with names, people that have a story, people that I have a little history with. I wouldn't know what others were going through if I was a roll post a day and run kind of quitter. At first I didn't need anything but the adrenaline of QUITTING, the hate of the nic bitch and the sheer determination that I was going to beat it. I still have that determination but some days it's not as strong as other days and getting on this site of Kakoa, or live chat helps during those times and it helps even more the more you get to know people.

I still have urges, really strong urges at times. My brain tries it's damnedest to convince me to grab some cancer because it would be alright. It's all lies. It always has been. There is nothing good that would ever come about from grabbing a pinch of poison.

I don't do that shit anymore.
I don't want cancer.
I made a promise to quit for today and I will keep my word.
I love the freedom of being quit.
My desire to be quit is stronger then anything the nic bitch can throw at me because the alternative it worse.

Making the decision to QUIT every day isn't a burden, it's a relief, an instance weight gets lifted off my shoulders. Doing the right thing = less stress. QUITTING every damn day is the RIGHT THING.

[Diesel2112]

Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.

Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.

Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.

When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?

Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.

I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.

Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.

I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?


What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.

If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.

No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.

You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.

That shit would weigh heavy on all of us, but to me the most meaningful thing you wrote is to remember how you feel when you get cleared by the doc. That is one big fucking quit tool for your toolbox.

Hang tough bro. Most likely all will be good, but like you said don't ever forget this feeling. Its a small taste of a world of hurt than none of us want to experience.

Keep us updated on your progress. You need anything, hit me up any time.

Quit on...

[Dagranger]

Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.

Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.

Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.

When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?

Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.

I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.

Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.

I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?


What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.

If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.

No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.

You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.

That shit would weigh heavy on all of us, but to me the most meaningful thing you wrote is to remember how you feel when you get cleared by the doc. That is one big fucking quit tool for your toolbox.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.

Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.

Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.

When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?

Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.

I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.

Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.

I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?


What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.

If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.

No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.

You'll be okay bro. Stay positive. Keep the fight. Follow through with the appointments and get it checked thoroughly.

[FMBM707]

Day 33 There are a lot of acceptable ways to die, dying because of dip isn't one of them.

Finally went to the dentist today. Mouth still doesn't feel right after 33 days of QUIT. Tongue still has issues. Told the dentist my concerns. Told him I QUIT using tobacco (poison). He checked me out and said that my mouth looks like it's healing. He could tell what side I normally locked in the cat turds but said my gums, lips, cheeks looked good. That was a relief.

Then he started asking my about my tongue. At first he said it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Which wasn't sitting with me well because my tongue hasn't felt right for over a month now- that means something is wrong- but I accepted his answer because it's what I wanted to hear. Then 2 hours after my appointment the dentist called me (his name is Dr. Bang- which I find humorous) and tells me that he thinks it would be a good idea to see a physician about my tongue and get some blood work done- this isn't so humorous.

When this turns out to be nothing (positive thinking) I want to remember how I am feeling right now. Because all I can think about is what if I have cancer. Why I should have never started but why I should have QUIT years ago and why I shouldn't have said I'll quit when my first is born, I'll quit when I'm 30, I'll quit when my second is born, I'll quit next year, I'll quit....BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. Why did I wait to QUIT?

Thoughts:
I'm 38, I'm young. Cancer does happen why encourage it with knowingly doing something that causes cancer? This could have been avoided. That is sad.

I'm married to a wonderful woman and there are so many more things I want to experience with her- good things. Milestones. Life. I love my wife.

Cancer is death, cancer isn't 'good things'. My poor decision of abusing nicotine for years effects so much more than me and my health. I always thought it's my life and if this is what makes me happy then I'll do it. How big of an idiot addict was I when I use to tell myself, "cancer is predetermined- people who don't dip get mouth cancer" Stupid. Stupid. stupid. So fucking stupid. I would be crushed if I put her through dealing with oral cancer. She doesn't deserve that. My mom and dad don't deserve something like that. This was something that could have been avoided.

I have 3 daughters, what would I tell my sweet daughters? Daddy choose to do something that he knew was bad for his health, that he knew could cause cancer and he stuffed his face with that poison anyway? Putting them through something like this, something that could have been avoided, I'd be stripping them of some of their childhood. They'd go through life asking why. Why would dad choose to do something like that? Why did he do it? Can't believe he did that to mom. He was supposed to be here for me. To protect me. Coach my teams. Cheer me on. Teach me. Love me. Be there to give me a hug when I needed one. To watch me grow up. Teach me to drive. Celebrate with me when I graduate. Walk me down the aisle. Why would he choose that over us?


What in the fuck was I thinking?
There so much more I want to do and experience
Why did I ever put that shit in my mouth?
Why didn't I QUIT sooner?
Why me?
Why now?
I'm QUIT. Being QUIT is awesome. I like this so much better. This guy is the guy I was meant to be. I'm just now remembering how great it was before I started abusing nicotine.

If it's something serious...if this is something serious I'd be devastated because I failed to be the husband I should have been. I failed my daughters. I failed myself. I cheated them and myself for a weed.

No matter what the doctor says:
I'll never regret being QUIT.
I'll always regret that I didn't quit sooner.

[FMBM707]

Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!

My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.

It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.

I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!

FUCK!

You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.


Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.

No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.

You can close deals during this period of adjustment. Time management is the key. Figure out what's the most important tasks work wise (closing deals) and prioritize whatever energy you have toward that. The rest is noise. Leverage any support personnel you may have to the fullest. Get the small shit off your plate. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus your energy on getting signatures.

After you get through this low concentration period you will come back like a fine tuned selling machine. Keep pushing brother.

Thanks Grizzly! I needed that. Back to work! It's all relative right? The guys between 2-7 days have a much thicker fog and less concentration going on- I know I did. Just going through a little phase/ haze of it now. Just like quitting I have to take this pile of work and emails one at a time (by priority).

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!

My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.

It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.

I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!

FUCK!

You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.


Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.

No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.

You can close deals during this period of adjustment. Time management is the key. Figure out what's the most important tasks work wise (closing deals) and prioritize whatever energy you have toward that. The rest is noise. Leverage any support personnel you may have to the fullest. Get the small shit off your plate. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus your energy on getting signatures.

After you get through this low concentration period you will come back like a fine tuned selling machine. Keep pushing brother.

[FMBM707]

Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!

My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.

It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.

I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!

FUCK!

You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.


Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.

No doubt Razd! The alternative could be worse. I'm thankful I am nic free and I'm thankful I have a job because I've been on the other side of both before.

[RAZD611]

Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!

My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.

It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.

I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!

FUCK!

You could be going for chemop treatments too, but instead your are quitting and have a job. Now quit jacking around and get to work.


Yeah right, like I am getting anything done either.

[FMBM707]

Why can I not concentrate at work? I'm at 30 days quit but the motivation to work is nowhere and I'm 100% commission based! What in the FUCK is wrong with me!

My mind just keeps wandering. I keep telling myself to bare down and get stuff done but then after 5 minutes or so my mind drifts off. I've drank two cups of coffee, taken the dog for a walk, dipped two bags of tea but I can't concentrate for any substantial length of time.

It's like my mind/body keeps searching for something that isn't there anymore so it's concentrating on trying to fill that void instead of just getting shit done. Damn I hate that I ever abused nicotine.

I guess things could be worse, I could still be doing that stupid ass shit. This too shall pass but it damn well better happen fast!

FUCK!

[FMBM707]

Had to put this in my intro so I knew where to find it and I could re-read it when needed. Made my own notes

This was authored and posted by Eric71
QUOTE (Eric71 @ Dec 4, 2012, 4:16 pm)
Day 162:

Been quiet for a while in here, I've had to deal with some of the more important issues in life like marriage. I can honestly say that during this phase, not one fucking time did I want to stick cancer in my lip. Did I want to give up on my marriage? (haven't had that feeling yet in 11 years of marriage) Sure, haven't we all felt that way at one time or another? If not, consider yourself truly blessed and make sure you let your spouse know how much you love them. (i am blessed to have an amazing wife in so many ways)

What I have come to realize though is that being quit has further developed a mental resolve in me to overcome where the outlook looks bleak. That being quit drives me to be something more than selfish. That being quit inspires me to be the man my wife and children can look at as a husband/father to be proud of. That being quit is a chance to take those tools (the ones that keep me quit) and apply them to other facets of my life to make me a better me. That being quit takes discipline, attitude, perseverance, faith, and selflessness.

That being in a marriage is a lot like being quit (or anything worthwhile). There are times when we feel like giving up on our quit but we don't. There are times when we feel like being selfish but we aren't. There are times we feel like it's not worth the time and effort but it is. There are times when it is so fucking hard that we don't know how we can go on one more minute but we do. There are times when we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there. There are times when we feel no one can possibly know or understand what we are going through but there is someone.

Then, there is that time when we question who that person might be that knows and feels all this we experience and we demand an answer. The answer we get catches us by surprise and we suddenly look at this life through a different set of lenses. We look at it through their eyes and suddenly we, ourselves, look like a weak, selfish, egocentric, narcissistic, piece of shit that no one could love.

[Tuco]

Dirty 30 for FMBM707!

I like your approach and your mindset. Fact is, people are going to cave. That's not an excuse, it's the first rule of addiction.

If you make the conscious decision to cave, then you need to be prepared mentally and emotionally to accept and embrace the tide of hard truths headed your way. Accept them, process them, be accountable to them, and then move forward. It's the only way.

[FMBM707]

Day 30 Fuck yes!
Day 28 was great because it marked 4 weeks. Day 30 sounds like a month to me- which is awesome but every day quit is awesome.

Keeping track of the number of days is beneficial in the sense that it motivates a person to keep adding to those days, it helps people see where someone is in their quit and gives them the opportunity to tailor their support/message to fit what that person maybe going through at that time in their quit and it gives some validity to a person. The one constant is we are all addicts and we are all 1 dumb decision away from being a beat down, weak-minded nic bitch slave.

Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT?

There was a lot of talk about being comfortable on the site yesterday with Jeep not posting, other guys deciding they didn't feel the need to post anymore because the site made them think of the nic bitch and some Sheriff dude caving after 200+ days. And there was a lot of opinions on Christke1982 having to answer the 3 questions.

Every society has laws. KTC is a society of QUITTERS. What is the basic principles of having laws? It's to protect people from harm. Harm by others (serial cavers) and/or self-harm. The rule here at KTC is that if you cave and come back you must answer the 3 questions openly, honestly and with humility. This is done to protect all the QUITTERS and to help that individual from harming themselves again.

It's you against that evil bitch everyday. And it's hard to fight something alone everyday without someone there to recognize your victories or help you when you struggle. And it's easier to build something (like a solid quit) if you have the instructions (the process).

If you've been involved in this site at all, you would have seen in the last 30 days numerous people crawling back in here after a cave posting day 1s. What did they all have in common? They didn't follow the process, they didn't buy into the rules of posting, they thought they were smarter than the system. They didn't need this, yet they come back to it.

Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT? Are you willing to swallow a bit of your pride and admit you need help?

Give your word everyday that you are going to stay QUIT and then doing it again. It's not always easy but ODAAT makes it manageable. Although being nic free forever is the ultimate goal, forever seems daunting. Make it through today, make it through today, make it through today- if you can manage to make it through today the weeks, the months, the.... will start to add up. The only thing I can't go without for a day is air.

I did have my first wicked nic nightmare last night. I think all the talk about being comfortable yesterday was why I had it- like a further wake up call that you can't become complacent. Sure it might get easier as the days go by but it's one bad choice that'll have you stuffing your face with that poison again. I dreamt that I was hanging out and drinking some beers and decided it was OK to have a cigarette. "I'm dip free, what's one cigarette? It's not the same as dip so it's no big deal" And there I was hanging out outside my garage taking a monster drag on a cancer stick because I rationalized that it was OK because it wasn't dip. I've been so focused on being death dip free that in my dreams I rationalized that a cigarette was OK. That's why that nic bitch is so sneaky- she knows it only takes one "slip up". I was disgusted with myself. It felt so real that I didn't want to wake up because it meant I broke my promise to myself, my wife, my kids and to all at KTC. It was truly an awful feeling. It was also a lesson learned because I use to smoke when I drink and this made me realize that I also have to really think more about being nic free and not just death dip free. I also need to start a planning for those times I'm hanging out with my buddies who smoke.

Yesterday was brutal catching up at work from being away on vacation which prompted my strongest craves in the past two weeks. I'm still not caught up and I know today is going to get very busy. And realizing that I'm going to tackle today nic free just like I did yesterday sounds a lot better than the alternative.

Waking up nic free is always a great feeling. So I QUIT again today because all it takes is one damn day at a time, every damn day. Doing it this way I don't have to worry about the number of days because I know doing it ODAAT the number of days QUIT will take care of themselves.

The goal today is being nic free today.

I really appreciate your quit FMBM707 ... it makes mine stronger, and I'm sure others who read it as well. Keep your hands up/chin down and keep fighting, I'll quit with you every and any damn day!

Appreciate it Smeds! I'll QUIT with you EDD!

[Smeds]

Day 30 Fuck yes!
Day 28 was great because it marked 4 weeks. Day 30 sounds like a month to me- which is awesome but every day quit is awesome.

Keeping track of the number of days is beneficial in the sense that it motivates a person to keep adding to those days, it helps people see where someone is in their quit and gives them the opportunity to tailor their support/message to fit what that person maybe going through at that time in their quit and it gives some validity to a person. The one constant is we are all addicts and we are all 1 dumb decision away from being a beat down, weak-minded nic bitch slave.

Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT?

There was a lot of talk about being comfortable on the site yesterday with Jeep not posting, other guys deciding they didn't feel the need to post anymore because the site made them think of the nic bitch and some Sheriff dude caving after 200+ days. And there was a lot of opinions on Christke1982 having to answer the 3 questions.

Every society has laws. KTC is a society of QUITTERS. What is the basic principles of having laws? It's to protect people from harm. Harm by others (serial cavers) and/or self-harm. The rule here at KTC is that if you cave and come back you must answer the 3 questions openly, honestly and with humility. This is done to protect all the QUITTERS and to help that individual from harming themselves again.

It's you against that evil bitch everyday. And it's hard to fight something alone everyday without someone there to recognize your victories or help you when you struggle. And it's easier to build something (like a solid quit) if you have the instructions (the process).

If you've been involved in this site at all, you would have seen in the last 30 days numerous people crawling back in here after a cave posting day 1s. What did they all have in common? They didn't follow the process, they didn't buy into the rules of posting, they thought they were smarter than the system. They didn't need this, yet they come back to it.

Everyone that comes on KTC is looking to quit or has quit because any reasonable person understands that putting that poison in their body is bad for them. But 'wanting' to quit or 'wanting' to stay quit isn't enough. Fuck we all are here because of that. We all understand putting the shit in our lip is bad for us but are we all willing to do what it takes to stay QUIT? Are you willing to swallow a bit of your pride and admit you need help?

Give your word everyday that you are going to stay QUIT and then doing it again. It's not always easy but ODAAT makes it manageable. Although being nic free forever is the ultimate goal, forever seems daunting. Make it through today, make it through today, make it through today- if you can manage to make it through today the weeks, the months, the.... will start to add up. The only thing I can't go without for a day is air.

I did have my first wicked nic nightmare last night. I think all the talk about being comfortable yesterday was why I had it- like a further wake up call that you can't become complacent. Sure it might get easier as the days go by but it's one bad choice that'll have you stuffing your face with that poison again. I dreamt that I was hanging out and drinking some beers and decided it was OK to have a cigarette. "I'm dip free, what's one cigarette? It's not the same as dip so it's no big deal" And there I was hanging out outside my garage taking a monster drag on a cancer stick because I rationalized that it was OK because it wasn't dip. I've been so focused on being death dip free that in my dreams I rationalized that a cigarette was OK. That's why that nic bitch is so sneaky- she knows it only takes one "slip up". I was disgusted with myself. It felt so real that I didn't want to wake up because it meant I broke my promise to myself, my wife, my kids and to all at KTC. It was truly an awful feeling. It was also a lesson learned because I use to smoke when I drink and this made me realize that I also have to really think more about being nic free and not just death dip free. I also need to start a planning for those times I'm hanging out with my buddies who smoke.

Yesterday was brutal catching up at work from being away on vacation which prompted my strongest craves in the past two weeks. I'm still not caught up and I know today is going to get very busy. And realizing that I'm going to tackle today nic free just like I did yesterday sounds a lot better than the alternative.

Waking up nic free is always a great feeling. So I QUIT again today because all it takes is one damn day at a time, every damn day. Doing it this way I don't have to worry about the number of days because I know doing it ODAAT the number of days QUIT will take care of themselves.

The goal today is being nic free today.

I really appreciate your quit FMBM707 ... it makes mine stronger, and I'm sure others who read it as well. Keep your hands up/chin down and keep fighting, I'll quit with you every and any damn day!