Coach Steve and the gang are hanging out in the Glass House of April 2012 engaged in their usual discussion of flip phones, gerbils and sex cavating among other interesting topics
CS: So do gerbils really have two rectums?
ERDVM: Yes....I'm pretty sure we've been over this in one of your previous narratives
CS: Sorry...I've written so many that it's all starting to blur together
(Just then, the lights go out in the Glass House and the emergency lights click on)
Bigwhitebeast: {jumping out of his chair} Oh shit! We've been powered down, I need to get to the plant!
Auburn: {walking in from the other room} What in the hell is going on here? I was flailing the pork sword and the computer screen just went blank....is Hipster messing with the internet again?
(Just then, texasjack comes stumbling down the stairs in a towel)
TJ: Guys I was in the shower and the water went cold then the lights went out!
CS: Yeah it looks like we've lost power guys...
pavetheway: That's odd....how can a fictional place that exists only in Coach Steve's imagination lose power?
ERDVM: I dunno...but I do know that Coach Steve's imagination smells like old cheese
TJ: No that's me...
CS: Alright everyone settle down....let's just give Cbird a call
ERDVM: {reaching into the pocket of his lab coat} Uh oh Coach...looks like our cell phones are dead too
PTW: Again....how is this even possible?
CS: Don't worry....Cbird still has a rotary phone in his room
(The quitters make their way to the 3rd floor of the Glass House and stop right outside Cbird's door)
TJ: Should we knock first?
CS: Nah....I saw him leaving a few hours before the power went down
PTW: Does anybody else wonder why the "emergency" lights are working in CS's imagination yet the power is still out?
ERDVM: When did you become such a skeptic?
TJ: Psychic?
ERDVM: No, not psychic...I said skeptic
TJ: So you think PTW is sketchy?
ERDVM: Really TJ?
TJ: Sorry....
CS: Ok guys....{opening the door} try not a break anything
(CS opens the door and the group peers into Cbird's room. There is a large poster of Steve Prefontaine on the opposite wall and the room is adorned with race bibs)
TJ: Whoa.....I didn't know Cbird liked Burt Reynolds
ERDVM: {slapping TJ in the back of the head} That there is Steve Prefontaine....he's a running legend
TJ: {rubbing his head} Oh.....so Burt Reynolds played him in a movie?
ERDVM: Actually it was Jared Leto....but really TJ?
CS: Guys look....there it is
(In the corner of the room there is an old fashioned red rotary phone)
CS: {walking over to the phone} Legend has it that this was the phone Aquaman used to communicate with Chewie when they were building KTC
TJ: KTC was built by an aquatic super hero and Chewbacca?
ERDVM: {looks at TJ and furrows his brow}
CS: TJ.....when did you get so dumb?
TJ: {shrugging his shoulders} I dunno....comedic relief maybe? This is your imagination after all....
CS: Good point, maybe it's because I watched Idiocracy last week
TJ: Great movie
CS: Criminally underrated as well
PTW: So you can change TJ's intelligence level but you can't make the power turn back on?
CS: {gives PTW a look} What do you think I'm trying to do?
(Coach Steve picks up the phone and begins to dial....)
ERDVM: Wait! What if Cbird's phone is dead too?
CS: I already thought about that....remember that Cbird carries a bag phone that runs on battery power
ERDVM: Oh right....
PTW: Emergency lights and bag phones....how convenient
(Coach Steve finishes dialing Cbird's number...ring....ring...ring.....)
Cbird: Hello?
CS: Hey Cbird it's CS and the guys.....we're just wondering what is going on with the power?
Cbird: KTC is down for now.....Zeta board conversion stuff...
CS: Oh ok... {TJ taps him on the shoulder} hold on one second Bird....
TJ: Can I talk to Cbird?
CS: Cbird, TJ wants to talk to you {hands phone to TJ}
TJ: Hey Bird it's TJ....I was just wondering why you have a poster of Jared Leto in your room?
ERDVM: {face palm}
Cbird: Um.....that's Steve Prefontaine
TJ: Oh ok......{hands the phone back to CS} Cbird says it's not Jared Leto so I guess you guys aren't psychic after all....
CS: Hey Cbird.....what's that? Yeah we know it's not Jared Leto......
BWB: Ask him when the power is coming back on
CS: He said it'd be a little longer.....depends on the conversion speeds
BWB: So then what are we supposed to do in the meantime?
PTW: Why don't we all use Coach Steve's imagination?
CS: {to Cbird} So what do we do? uh huh, uh huh....ok yeah I got it....later!
PTW: So what is it now?
CS: Cbird says the KTC blog is still active so we can go there or just wait it out here
TJ: Roadtrip!
ERDVM: Ok how are we going to get there?
PTW: Can't wait to hear this one.....
CS: Hmm....what about that old rail push car that Colonel No Cope and Coach Doc used to ride around on?
ERDVM: But Coach they closed the HOF tracks behind the Glass House once all the 2012 groups hit the hall
CS: Right.....but they only closed each end, I think the tracks are still intact
BWB: Well we'd better get a move on...
(The quitters make their way out the back door and into the yard when they hear something stirring in the bushes)
TJ: Oh shit what is that?
CS: Everyone calm down...it's probably just a squirrel
(Just then, Luby (aka Peepers) slowly stands up)
Peepers: Hey guys, it's just me...good ole Peepers
CS: Silly Peepers...were you peeping again?
Peepers: Yes, haha....and I had a great view of the pork sword flogging before the power went out
Auburn: How'd it look?
Peepers: Not bad....
Auburn: Glad you liked it....
Peepers: So where are you guys headed?
CS: We're trying to get to the KTC blog to see if we can ride this thing out there....
Peepers: And how do you plan on accomplishing that?
PTW: Via Coach Steve's imagination transportation
CS: Actually....{glaring at PTW} we were going to use the old rail push car on the 2012 HOF tracks
Peepers: Oh.....I....um...
CS: What is it?
Peepers: It's just that...well....the old rail push car was destroyed in the Peeping Incident of October 2013
CS: I don't even want to know....
Peepers: But I can tell you that the 2012 HOF tracks are still there
CS: I knew it!
Peepers: If you'd like I can show you the way?
CS: Sounds like a plan...
(CS and the quitters make their way through the thick underbrush that has consumed the once vibrant 2012 HOF tracks. After what seems like minutes....Peepers steps through the underbrush to reveal the tracks. Although worn by the elements, the tracks remain impervious to the thick underbrush on either side)
Peepers: This is where I leave you...{pointing in one direction} follow the tracks until you come to a switch track....take the track on the right and follow it until you reach your destination....
CS: Thanks Peepers...
Peepers: No problem Coach....now behold, the great Peepers {throws a smoke bomb and flips his cape}
(As the smoke clears Peepers can be seen hiding the bushes)
CS: Um Peepers....we can still see you
Peepers: No you can't
ERDVM: Actually yes...we can
Peepers: {pulling his cape over his head} Ok what about now?
ERDVM: Now you're just hiding under your cape
Peepers: {stands up} Ok fine....I guess I'm losing my touch
CS: Well guys....we should head out before it gets dark
PTW: Again....the fictional sun rises and sets in KTC Land but you can't make the power come back on?
CS: Sigh.....where's the fun in that?
PTW: You may have a point there....
(The quitters begin making there way in the direction Peepers told them to go. As they turn the corner out of sight, a rustling is heard in the thick underbrush...just then, Wedge and his merry band of suggesters stumble onto the 2012 HOF tracks.....)
Wedge: {bending down to smell the tracks} Well, well, well, looks like this is my lucky day
Spartanron: What is it boss?
Wedge: An old nemesis of mine......Coach Steve
Spartanron: How can you tell?
Wedge: {sniffing the air} Because I can smell douche and we're down wind {pointing} they went that way.....
