Nicotine, I Hate You

[Etxaggie]

(Advanced apologies for the language)

wow.....holy shit.....on day 22....feeling like crap for 3 days. i have been foggy, depressed, and displaying super potential rage characteristics. I have neglected this introduction section because I started to feel so good since my last post.  But here it goes, again....

For the first time, I would not consider my quit "new". In the beginning, people prepare themselves for the quit.  They are actually excited to start a new chapter in their lives.  They are tired of being a slave to the bitch.  This powers them through the first 3-4 days.  They begin to feel "clean" as they surround themselves with quitter materials and sponsors.  After the 3-4 days they may begin to feel impenetrable.  Then a funk hits, they hold their quit tight to their vests.  The funk then subsides.  After the funk subsides, due to living in chat with other quitters or in the forums, they begin to realize they must live their lives again.  They run out there and become super productive.  More productive than they have ever been while using the piece of shit nicotine.  They begin to feel free again......

I get to around 19 days.  I'm mentally and physically tired.  I feel like i can not withstand this level of productivity.  I feel another funk. I am not "excited" about my quit anymore.  I begin to feel hopeless and for the first time consider the option that this may be "too difficult" for me to accomplish.  I utilize my numbers.  I talk to people. I explain in texts that "I cant do this forever" and "I have felt like this for 3 days. If i feel like this for the next 6 months. I am a goner. I am a guaranteed caver." More ODAAT is relayed to me from my text savior. I get talked off the ledge.  I start getting fucking pissed off.  I begin to feel like I am fuckin sick of hearing ODAAT. I am sick of hearing the fuckin word "quit. I am sick of reading and sitting in chat.  I continued to text. I began to feel better but still remained in a fog and some state of depression (I guess you would call it.)

March 24, 2014

Wake up.....still feeling like shit. I am pretty much raging. I walk outside to get the barrel (trash day today) and to warm my car. As I step into my car I am saying "Almost April first and it is still fuckin 20 degrees out".  I attempt to start my car. Does not start. Try again. Does not start.....Lucky me, im out of gas. I am 33 years old.  I am in a fucking fog so bad that I ran out of gas? I lose it.  I slam my door. I grab my trash barrel and gave it a 45 foot, one armed shot put throw against the side of the garage while I am yelling "fucks". My neighbors must think I am a damn maniac. I go grab a pair of gloves and a gas can and begin my 1.5 mile trek to the gas station. After about a hundred yards, I am freezing and grab the gloves. I grabbed two fucking left handed gloves!! I am so fuckin pissed. I must be walking 15 miles an hour and freezing.....

I arrive at the store and think about dip.  For the first time in my quit, I actually take responsibility for my quit and feel like I meet it head-on. I begin getting pissed at how I feel. I say to myself, "What the fuck is a dip gonna do? absolutely fucking nothing. All its going to do is maybe calm me down for 5 minutes. Then ill be thinking about it again and ill be craving in an hour....i'll dip more.....then fuckin craving for another....i'll dip more....then crave another hour. when does it fucking end? never!!!....I have came to realization that I will be fuckin miserable without dip.  And miserable with it. So fuck it. why kill myself in the process?.....All I hear is that it "gets better".  i better feel better in the coming days because i may run out of fuckin trash barrels around here......out

I started to feel better around 40 days in. You'll start feeling better intime also.

There is one thing that will change the game. Commit to the quit. After 20 days it's time bro. There is no cave. I don't care if you feel like crap for i don't care how long. Take caving off the table. There is one thing you got to realize. As long as your addicted brain thinks there is a chance it will not relent. It's time bro! Get pissed at what the poison has done to you, what it is causing now.

The poison sucks. I hated it this morning, i hated it at noon and i hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. When i began hating what had took so much from me things changed. My outlook changed. My quit became real! It's time my friend. Join me in the hate. It will keep you quit and begin healing what it has destroyed.

Besides all this. You gave your word. We expect you to keep that word. See you tomorrow at roll. There's some new digits coming your way. You call if you need to.

Thank you dude

That's about the same time in my quit where I came down off my "high" of my new found freedom called "quit".

My rage was a bitch during this time. I increased my workouts  that helped some. I also spent a ton of time reading KTC.

I got down during this period also. It helped to jump over to the "Wildcard" section  read some jokes, etc.

Just remember these feelings/thoughts/cravings/etc will improve with time.

Proud to be quit w/ you.

[slinger]

(Advanced apologies for the language)

wow.....holy shit.....on day 22....feeling like crap for 3 days. i have been foggy, depressed, and displaying super potential rage characteristics. I have neglected this introduction section because I started to feel so good since my last post.  But here it goes, again....

For the first time, I would not consider my quit "new". In the beginning, people prepare themselves for the quit.  They are actually excited to start a new chapter in their lives.  They are tired of being a slave to the bitch.  This powers them through the first 3-4 days.  They begin to feel "clean" as they surround themselves with quitter materials and sponsors.  After the 3-4 days they may begin to feel impenetrable.  Then a funk hits, they hold their quit tight to their vests.  The funk then subsides.  After the funk subsides, due to living in chat with other quitters or in the forums, they begin to realize they must live their lives again.  They run out there and become super productive.  More productive than they have ever been while using the piece of shit nicotine.  They begin to feel free again......

I get to around 19 days.  I'm mentally and physically tired.  I feel like i can not withstand this level of productivity.  I feel another funk. I am not "excited" about my quit anymore.  I begin to feel hopeless and for the first time consider the option that this may be "too difficult" for me to accomplish.  I utilize my numbers.  I talk to people. I explain in texts that "I cant do this forever" and "I have felt like this for 3 days. If i feel like this for the next 6 months. I am a goner. I am a guaranteed caver." More ODAAT is relayed to me from my text savior. I get talked off the ledge.  I start getting fucking pissed off.  I begin to feel like I am fuckin sick of hearing ODAAT. I am sick of hearing the fuckin word "quit. I am sick of reading and sitting in chat.  I continued to text. I began to feel better but still remained in a fog and some state of depression (I guess you would call it.)

March 24, 2014

Wake up.....still feeling like shit. I am pretty much raging. I walk outside to get the barrel (trash day today) and to warm my car. As I step into my car I am saying "Almost April first and it is still fuckin 20 degrees out".  I attempt to start my car. Does not start. Try again. Does not start.....Lucky me, im out of gas. I am 33 years old.  I am in a fucking fog so bad that I ran out of gas? I lose it.  I slam my door. I grab my trash barrel and gave it a 45 foot, one armed shot put throw against the side of the garage while I am yelling "fucks". My neighbors must think I am a damn maniac. I go grab a pair of gloves and a gas can and begin my 1.5 mile trek to the gas station. After about a hundred yards, I am freezing and grab the gloves. I grabbed two fucking left handed gloves!! I am so fuckin pissed. I must be walking 15 miles an hour and freezing.....

I arrive at the store and think about dip.  For the first time in my quit, I actually take responsibility for my quit and feel like I meet it head-on. I begin getting pissed at how I feel. I say to myself, "What the fuck is a dip gonna do? absolutely fucking nothing. All its going to do is maybe calm me down for 5 minutes. Then ill be thinking about it again and ill be craving in an hour....i'll dip more.....then fuckin craving for another....i'll dip more....then crave another hour. when does it fucking end? never!!!....I have came to realization that I will be fuckin miserable without dip.  And miserable with it. So fuck it. why kill myself in the process?.....All I hear is that it "gets better".  i better feel better in the coming days because i may run out of fuckin trash barrels around here......out

I started to feel better around 40 days in. You'll start feeling better intime also.

There is one thing that will change the game. Commit to the quit. After 20 days it's time bro. There is no cave. I don't care if you feel like crap for i don't care how long. Take caving off the table. There is one thing you got to realize. As long as your addicted brain thinks there is a chance it will not relent. It's time bro! Get pissed at what the poison has done to you, what it is causing now.

The poison sucks. I hated it this morning, i hated it at noon and i hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. When i began hating what had took so much from me things changed. My outlook changed. My quit became real! It's time my friend. Join me in the hate. It will keep you quit and begin healing what it has destroyed.

Besides all this. You gave your word. We expect you to keep that word. See you tomorrow at roll. There's some new digits coming your way. You call if you need to.

Thank you dude

Hey Sixer, thank you for this post. Thank you for being so open and honest about what you are going through. That takes balls, and I appreciate it. It's not easy to admit when you are struggling. Don't think for one minute that you are alone in some of the things you're going thru. I think I quit the day after you did, so I can relate. Stay strong and hang in there, bro. If you need anything, get a hold of me.

[sixercountry]

(Advanced apologies for the language)

wow.....holy shit.....on day 22....feeling like crap for 3 days. i have been foggy, depressed, and displaying super potential rage characteristics. I have neglected this introduction section because I started to feel so good since my last post.  But here it goes, again....

For the first time, I would not consider my quit "new". In the beginning, people prepare themselves for the quit.  They are actually excited to start a new chapter in their lives.  They are tired of being a slave to the bitch.  This powers them through the first 3-4 days.  They begin to feel "clean" as they surround themselves with quitter materials and sponsors.  After the 3-4 days they may begin to feel impenetrable.  Then a funk hits, they hold their quit tight to their vests.  The funk then subsides.  After the funk subsides, due to living in chat with other quitters or in the forums, they begin to realize they must live their lives again.  They run out there and become super productive.  More productive than they have ever been while using the piece of shit nicotine.  They begin to feel free again......

I get to around 19 days.  I'm mentally and physically tired.  I feel like i can not withstand this level of productivity.  I feel another funk. I am not "excited" about my quit anymore.  I begin to feel hopeless and for the first time consider the option that this may be "too difficult" for me to accomplish.  I utilize my numbers.  I talk to people. I explain in texts that "I cant do this forever" and "I have felt like this for 3 days. If i feel like this for the next 6 months. I am a goner. I am a guaranteed caver." More ODAAT is relayed to me from my text savior. I get talked off the ledge.  I start getting fucking pissed off.  I begin to feel like I am fuckin sick of hearing ODAAT. I am sick of hearing the fuckin word "quit. I am sick of reading and sitting in chat.  I continued to text. I began to feel better but still remained in a fog and some state of depression (I guess you would call it.)

March 24, 2014

Wake up.....still feeling like shit. I am pretty much raging. I walk outside to get the barrel (trash day today) and to warm my car. As I step into my car I am saying "Almost April first and it is still fuckin 20 degrees out".  I attempt to start my car. Does not start. Try again. Does not start.....Lucky me, im out of gas. I am 33 years old.  I am in a fucking fog so bad that I ran out of gas? I lose it.  I slam my door. I grab my trash barrel and gave it a 45 foot, one armed shot put throw against the side of the garage while I am yelling "fucks". My neighbors must think I am a damn maniac. I go grab a pair of gloves and a gas can and begin my 1.5 mile trek to the gas station. After about a hundred yards, I am freezing and grab the gloves. I grabbed two fucking left handed gloves!! I am so fuckin pissed. I must be walking 15 miles an hour and freezing.....

I arrive at the store and think about dip.  For the first time in my quit, I actually take responsibility for my quit and feel like I meet it head-on. I begin getting pissed at how I feel. I say to myself, "What the fuck is a dip gonna do? absolutely fucking nothing. All its going to do is maybe calm me down for 5 minutes. Then ill be thinking about it again and ill be craving in an hour....i'll dip more.....then fuckin craving for another....i'll dip more....then crave another hour. when does it fucking end? never!!!....I have came to realization that I will be fuckin miserable without dip.  And miserable with it. So fuck it. why kill myself in the process?.....All I hear is that it "gets better".  i better feel better in the coming days because i may run out of fuckin trash barrels around here......out

I started to feel better around 40 days in. You'll start feeling better intime also.

There is one thing that will change the game. Commit to the quit. After 20 days it's time bro. There is no cave. I don't care if you feel like crap for i don't care how long. Take caving off the table. There is one thing you got to realize. As long as your addicted brain thinks there is a chance it will not relent. It's time bro! Get pissed at what the poison has done to you, what it is causing now.

The poison sucks. I hated it this morning, i hated it at noon and i hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. When i began hating what had took so much from me things changed. My outlook changed. My quit became real! It's time my friend. Join me in the hate. It will keep you quit and begin healing what it has destroyed.

Besides all this. You gave your word. We expect you to keep that word. See you tomorrow at roll. There's some new digits coming your way. You call if you need to.

Thank you dude

[srans]

(Advanced apologies for the language)

wow.....holy shit.....on day 22....feeling like crap for 3 days. i have been foggy, depressed, and displaying super potential rage characteristics. I have neglected this introduction section because I started to feel so good since my last post. But here it goes, again....

For the first time, I would not consider my quit "new". In the beginning, people prepare themselves for the quit. They are actually excited to start a new chapter in their lives. They are tired of being a slave to the bitch. This powers them through the first 3-4 days. They begin to feel "clean" as they surround themselves with quitter materials and sponsors. After the 3-4 days they may begin to feel impenetrable. Then a funk hits, they hold their quit tight to their vests. The funk then subsides. After the funk subsides, due to living in chat with other quitters or in the forums, they begin to realize they must live their lives again. They run out there and become super productive. More productive than they have ever been while using the piece of shit nicotine. They begin to feel free again......

I get to around 19 days. I'm mentally and physically tired. I feel like i can not withstand this level of productivity. I feel another funk. I am not "excited" about my quit anymore. I begin to feel hopeless and for the first time consider the option that this may be "too difficult" for me to accomplish. I utilize my numbers. I talk to people. I explain in texts that "I cant do this forever" and "I have felt like this for 3 days. If i feel like this for the next 6 months. I am a goner. I am a guaranteed caver." More ODAAT is relayed to me from my text savior. I get talked off the ledge. I start getting fucking pissed off. I begin to feel like I am fuckin sick of hearing ODAAT. I am sick of hearing the fuckin word "quit. I am sick of reading and sitting in chat. I continued to text. I began to feel better but still remained in a fog and some state of depression (I guess you would call it.)

March 24, 2014

Wake up.....still feeling like shit. I am pretty much raging. I walk outside to get the barrel (trash day today) and to warm my car. As I step into my car I am saying "Almost April first and it is still fuckin 20 degrees out". I attempt to start my car. Does not start. Try again. Does not start.....Lucky me, im out of gas. I am 33 years old. I am in a fucking fog so bad that I ran out of gas? I lose it. I slam my door. I grab my trash barrel and gave it a 45 foot, one armed shot put throw against the side of the garage while I am yelling "fucks". My neighbors must think I am a damn maniac. I go grab a pair of gloves and a gas can and begin my 1.5 mile trek to the gas station. After about a hundred yards, I am freezing and grab the gloves. I grabbed two fucking left handed gloves!! I am so fuckin pissed. I must be walking 15 miles an hour and freezing.....

I arrive at the store and think about dip. For the first time in my quit, I actually take responsibility for my quit and feel like I meet it head-on. I begin getting pissed at how I feel. I say to myself, "What the fuck is a dip gonna do? absolutely fucking nothing. All its going to do is maybe calm me down for 5 minutes. Then ill be thinking about it again and ill be craving in an hour....i'll dip more.....then fuckin craving for another....i'll dip more....then crave another hour. when does it fucking end? never!!!....I have came to realization that I will be fuckin miserable without dip. And miserable with it. So fuck it. why kill myself in the process?.....All I hear is that it "gets better". i better feel better in the coming days because i may run out of fuckin trash barrels around here......out

I started to feel better around 40 days in. You'll start feeling better intime also.

There is one thing that will change the game. Commit to the quit. After 20 days it's time bro. There is no cave. I don't care if you feel like crap for i don't care how long. Take caving off the table. There is one thing you got to realize. As long as your addicted brain thinks there is a chance it will not relent. It's time bro! Get pissed at what the poison has done to you, what it is causing now.

The poison sucks. I hated it this morning, i hated it at noon and i hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. When i began hating what had took so much from me things changed. My outlook changed. My quit became real! It's time my friend. Join me in the hate. It will keep you quit and begin healing what it has destroyed.

Besides all this. You gave your word. We expect you to keep that word. See you tomorrow at roll. There's some new digits coming your way. You call if you need to.

[sixercountry]

(Advanced apologies for the language)

wow.....holy shit.....on day 22....feeling like crap for 3 days. i have been foggy, depressed, and displaying super potential rage characteristics. I have neglected this introduction section because I started to feel so good since my last post. But here it goes, again....

For the first time, I would not consider my quit "new". In the beginning, people prepare themselves for the quit. They are actually excited to start a new chapter in their lives. They are tired of being a slave to the bitch. This powers them through the first 3-4 days. They begin to feel "clean" as they surround themselves with quitter materials and sponsors. After the 3-4 days they may begin to feel impenetrable. Then a funk hits, they hold their quit tight to their vests. The funk then subsides. After the funk subsides, due to living in chat with other quitters or in the forums, they begin to realize they must live their lives again. They run out there and become super productive. More productive than they have ever been while using the piece of shit nicotine. They begin to feel free again......

I get to around 19 days. I'm mentally and physically tired. I feel like i can not withstand this level of productivity. I feel another funk. I am not "excited" about my quit anymore. I begin to feel hopeless and for the first time consider the option that this may be "too difficult" for me to accomplish. I utilize my numbers. I talk to people. I explain in texts that "I cant do this forever" and "I have felt like this for 3 days. If i feel like this for the next 6 months. I am a goner. I am a guaranteed caver." More ODAAT is relayed to me from my text savior. I get talked off the ledge. I start getting fucking pissed off. I begin to feel like I am fuckin sick of hearing ODAAT. I am sick of hearing the fuckin word "quit. I am sick of reading and sitting in chat. I continued to text. I began to feel better but still remained in a fog and some state of depression (I guess you would call it.)

March 24, 2014

Wake up.....still feeling like shit. I am pretty much raging. I walk outside to get the barrel (trash day today) and to warm my car. As I step into my car I am saying "Almost April first and it is still fuckin 20 degrees out". I attempt to start my car. Does not start. Try again. Does not start.....Lucky me, im out of gas. I am 33 years old. I am in a fucking fog so bad that I ran out of gas? I lose it. I slam my door. I grab my trash barrel and gave it a 45 foot, one armed shot put throw against the side of the garage while I am yelling "fucks". My neighbors must think I am a damn maniac. I go grab a pair of gloves and a gas can and begin my 1.5 mile trek to the gas station. After about a hundred yards, I am freezing and grab the gloves. I grabbed two fucking left handed gloves!! I am so fuckin pissed. I must be walking 15 miles an hour and freezing.....

I arrive at the store and think about dip. For the first time in my quit, I actually take responsibility for my quit and feel like I meet it head-on. I begin getting pissed at how I feel. I say to myself, "What the fuck is a dip gonna do? absolutely fucking nothing. All its going to do is maybe calm me down for 5 minutes. Then ill be thinking about it again and ill be craving in an hour....i'll dip more.....then fuckin craving for another....i'll dip more....then crave another hour. when does it fucking end? never!!!....I have came to realization that I will be fuckin miserable without dip. And miserable with it. So fuck it. why kill myself in the process?.....All I hear is that it "gets better". i better feel better in the coming days because i may run out of fuckin trash barrels around here......out

[duathman]

I am getting a divorce and its final.  This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school.  She was on the sidelines while I played high school football.  She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break.  I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college.  The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months.  Before you know it, we were doing everything together.  We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day.  The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her.  I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011.  I had never met these people before.  They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners.  After this meeting,  I finally gained enough courage to call it off.  The separation lasted for 58 days.  After nearly two months I lose my resolve.  We spent an afternoon together.  This afternoon turned into full days.  Those full days turned into 3 full years.  I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation.  I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence.  I return to my friends from 2011.  They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch.  This quit is the one.....

Great post sixer!! You're crazy bitch of a wife will still nag you for a long time to come, unfortunately. Just make sure you tell her to fuck off every morning when you wake up.

Funny as hell! I had to read this twice before I got it. I was thinking you were a dick. :D

Great post, hope all the newbs get to read this!

Lightbulb

Also, go find Minny's intro and see what B-Lo Matt thinks of the nic bitch. 'Popcorn'

[slug.go]

I am getting a divorce and its final.  This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school.  She was on the sidelines while I played high school football.  She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break.  I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college.  The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months.  Before you know it, we were doing everything together.  We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day.  The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her.  I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011.  I had never met these people before.  They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners.  After this meeting,  I finally gained enough courage to call it off.  The separation lasted for 58 days.  After nearly two months I lose my resolve.  We spent an afternoon together.  This afternoon turned into full days.  Those full days turned into 3 full years.  I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation.  I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence.  I return to my friends from 2011.  They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch.  This quit is the one.....

Great post sixer!! You're crazy bitch of a wife will still nag you for a long time to come, unfortunately. Just make sure you tell her to fuck off every morning when you wake up.

Funny as hell! I had to read this twice before I got it. I was thinking you were a dick. :D

Great post, hope all the newbs get to read this!

[jake frawley]

I am getting a divorce and its final.  This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school.  She was on the sidelines while I played high school football.  She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break.  I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college.  The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months.  Before you know it, we were doing everything together.  We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day.  The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her.  I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011.  I had never met these people before.  They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners.  After this meeting,  I finally gained enough courage to call it off.  The separation lasted for 58 days.  After nearly two months I lose my resolve.  We spent an afternoon together.  This afternoon turned into full days.  Those full days turned into 3 full years.  I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation.  I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence.  I return to my friends from 2011.  They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch.  This quit is the one.....

Great post sixer!! You're crazy bitch of a wife will still nag you for a long time to come, unfortunately. Just make sure you tell her to fuck off every morning when you wake up.

Funny as hell! I had to read this twice before I got it. I was thinking you were a dick. :D

[Doc Chewfree]

I am getting a divorce and its final. This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school. She was on the sidelines while I played high school football. She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break. I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college. The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months. Before you know it, we were doing everything together. We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day. The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her. I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011. I had never met these people before. They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners. After this meeting, I finally gained enough courage to call it off. The separation lasted for 58 days. After nearly two months I lose my resolve. We spent an afternoon together. This afternoon turned into full days. Those full days turned into 3 full years. I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation. I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence. I return to my friends from 2011. They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch. This quit is the one.....

Dude, I Think You've Been Watching Too Much Telemundo.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I am getting a divorce and its final. This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school. She was on the sidelines while I played high school football. She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break. I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college. The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months. Before you know it, we were doing everything together. We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day. The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her. I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011. I had never met these people before. They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners. After this meeting, I finally gained enough courage to call it off. The separation lasted for 58 days. After nearly two months I lose my resolve. We spent an afternoon together. This afternoon turned into full days. Those full days turned into 3 full years. I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation. I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence. I return to my friends from 2011. They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch. This quit is the one.....

Great post sixer!! You're crazy bitch of a wife will still nag you for a long time to come, unfortunately. Just make sure you tell her to fuck off every morning when you wake up.

[sixercountry]

I am getting a divorce and its final. This is going to be a tough time in my life. I have been with her since high school. She was on the sidelines while I played high school football. She was with me when I went to my prom. When I reached college, we took a break. I wanted to see "what else is out there". I met her at a bar two years removed from college. The year was 2003. We began spending time together in the coming days, weeks, and months. Before you know it, we were doing everything together. We even shared living arrangements pretty quickly. I remember our sharing of birthdays, Christmases, and family vacations together. Through all the difficult and stressful times in life, we always made time throughout the week to relax and block out the problems of the day. The years passed and things became rocky. I realized she did not match the obsession I had of her. I began to feel vulnerable about our relationship and its future.
I met some different people in January 2011. I had never met these people before. They began telling stories related to their treatment by their partners. After this meeting, I finally gained enough courage to call it off. The separation lasted for 58 days. After nearly two months I lose my resolve. We spent an afternoon together. This afternoon turned into full days. Those full days turned into 3 full years. I return to my miserable mindset.
Fast forward to March 3, 2014,.............I'm fed up with the situation. I kick the bitch out. I flush and discard any remnants of her existence. I return to my friends from 2011. They forgive me and accept me back. I finally feel strong. I am ready to respect myself and those around me. It has now been eleven days without that selfish bitch and I feel liberated. Today has been pretty rough but I will not dip today. I have spent half of my life married to that bitch. This quit is the one.....

[J2b]

Hey Sixer (and apologies if the quote transfer is messed up, I suck at this),

I am guessing more guys will post up and respond to this in the morning when they see it, many with far more consulting experience than I have. But figured I would toss in my two cents. First, I am sure you feel like shit, so one positive to focus on is that you are back here and facing the music. Hats off for that. Second, I don't have much experience in this realm, but more seasoned vets seem to ask people that cave what will be different this time? Surely you can't just stop playing golf, and even if you did, she will always be around and looming in the corner. Absolutely using the tools provided by the site will help and definitely having someone's number handy will too, but most of it will come down to you. Like you mention, it is scary as hell to be vulnerable in thinking that this little can of killer-dirt is bigger and stronger than you, that you are a slave to your addiction. I think that is something everyone eventually realizes and is key to strengthening your quit.  Of course, after this many days the quit walls are strong, but speaking for myself, I feel just as vulnerable as I did Day 1. To be perfectly honest, I am not sure how, but I strongly believe that if I touch nicotine again I will immediately begin a slow, painful death.

I wish I had some secret answer to your "what do I do know" question, but I don't, because it isn't a secret. It is chanted over and over again here because it works, quit.post.keep your word.repeat. That being said, it all starts with you making the decision that you can't do this ever again, for any reason. You are an addict and it will destroy you and everyone you love. So, in closing, what do you do now? You quit now.

Freedom is an amazing thing and hope to see you posting up day 1,

Maineguy

sixercountry
hey people,
ummmm....well looking at your days, i feel like an even bigger loser and caver. i joined and i was in your group in 2011. i made it 50 something days and caved. i dont really know what to do but didnt feel like it was appropriate to just post roll.

reasons for cave: it was a long time ago but i remember when it happened like it was yesterday. i was golfing and was urging bad. i had the smokey mountain but kept thinking "this s**T sucks!!" and kept making excuses in my head that were saying "its ok. its just one dip" and "you can control it this time" and the worst one was "your more addicted to this than all those people". people obviously referring to those i made friends with on this page. well needless to say i put a pinch in. it sucked. i wished i never did it. and the obvious one was, i could not control it.......obvious lies and excuses that i have made many times before. well here i am, 3 years later, dipping over a tin a day and half a pack of butts when i cant dip. im looking at these names thinking about how i not only let them down, but that could be me if i weren't such an excuse maker.

things i didnt do: the way to not make the same mistake again will be to use the tools available. even though i made friends on here, i never bought into the whole calling or messaging people when i was hurting. i think it made me feel vulnerable or maybe it was because i am just someone that hates asking people for help. i dont know.

i dont want to be a slave anymore, but i have caved so many times before. can i really do this? im 33 and have been dipping since i was 18. im tired of this bulls**t!!!

what do i do now?

Sixer, if you're really that tired of it this is what you do. First thing in the morning YOU gotta post up. You gotta realize that is a conscious promise you are making to a group of dudes doing the same thing you are. All day, simply keep your promise. Then repeat.

It starts with you dude.

Sixer, Quitters find a way to quit, cavers find a way to cave. If you are truly tired of the life of an addict, you will be a quitter. Not to be a jerk, but until your word means more than your addiction, you will not succeed.

The roll post is not negotiable. A roll post means you are QUIT for that day, no matter what. No urge, no crave, no fog is going to cause you to cave because you made a promise. This group and your new quit group can help, but you have to bring the balls and the integrity.

Decision Time, my friend. Pick a life- Quit or Not Quit. We chose quit. What will you choose?

Not much I can really add to this, except the following - this site has saved my life. Based on conversations I have had with other quitters it has done the same for them. The number one thing you must do is look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the following:
1) I AM an addict.
2) I will ALWAYS be an addict.
3) I will NOT be a slave to my addiction any longer.

I say look in the mirror because anyone can type a bunch of fancy words on an anonymous message board (texting and calling is a bit more personal, but can still be fake) but it is very difficult to look yourself in the eye and lie.

You must decide to quit, come hell or high water. Like maineguy said - you arent going to stop golfing, hunting, etc. The point of quitting is to regain your life and make sure you live it. As you know, this site demands answers to the following questions when you cave and come back:

1) What happened (your answer): it was a long time ago but i remember when it happened like it was yesterday. i was golfing and was urging bad. i had the smokey mountain but kept thinking "this s**T sucks!!" and kept making excuses in my head that were saying "its ok. its just one dip" and "you can control it this time" and the worst one was "your more addicted to this than all those people". people obviously referring to those i made friends with on this page. well needless to say i put a pinch in. it sucked. i wished i never did it. and the obvious one was, i could not control it.......obvious lies and excuses that i have made many times before. well here i am, 3 years later, dipping over a tin a day and half a pack of butts when i cant dip. im looking at these names thinking about how i not only let them down, but that could be me if i weren't such an excuse maker.

2) Why did it happen (your answer): things i didnt do: the way to not make the same mistake again will be to use the tools available. even though i made friends on here, i never bought into the whole calling or messaging people when i was hurting. i think it made me feel vulnerable or maybe it was because i am just someone that hates asking people for help. i dont know.

3) What will you do differently this time? You need to answer this one. My friend, there was nothing more awkward than reaching out to random dudes for help. But to put it in perspective, I still have my jaw, my tongue, most of my teeth, my vocal chords, and my life. I never have to worry about sneaking off to dip, hiding spitters and cans from my kids, carrying toothpaste and tooth brushes everywhere I go, etc. What I am willing to do to defend my quit is endless.

i dont want to be a slave anymore, but i have caved so many times before. can i really do this? im 33 and have been dipping since i was 18. im tired of this bulls**t!!!

what do i do now?

I am 33, and I started using tobacco products at 14. I broke my chains at 29. I am damn proud to say I am a quitter. If you are really tired of the bullshit, join us. Post roll and invest in your own quit. Do NOT be ashamed of quitting. Caving is shameful and embarrassing. Quitting is like a weight being lifted and allows you to hold your head up high. Own your cave, remember the shame and helpless feeling you had to a small tin of weeds.

What do I do now? Quit. Thats what.

Not quite sure why you have chosen not to post with us in May 11, but that is your call to make. Also wanted to make sure you got to see the entire discussion about your post, since you really haven't been back in May 11 since your return.

[cbird65]

Each quitter must identify the personal reasons of why the quit for themselves. Each will have differing reasons but make sure yours in 100% about you. Not based on fear or for someone else's appeasement. Once you have pinpointed those foundation reasons, start building the walls of your quit. Good to see you in chat yesterday trying to flesh out the quit process and to see you personalizing your quit. The more you engage with other quitters and pull from their strength the stronger your quit becomes and then you will find your quit zone. Finding that sweet spot after the fog is reassuring but don't be fooled that you have this whipped! We are addicts and are one dumb-ass decision away from being slaves again.

Keep learning how to identify the potential pitfalls, temptations and triggers. Steer clear of these or use the buddy system to help you protect your quit.

It is your quit to protect so OWN IT!

[Doc Chewfree]

The addiction seems to sense tiny openings of vulnerability and does its best to exploit it.
Has anyone noticed how few people had a nicotine habit while we are using? I remember the feeling of loneliness that nicotine gave me when i was standing out in the rain smoking a cigarette or leaving a conversation because I had to spit and I couldn't hold it anymore. Today, I have nicotine radar. I am like the security detector at the airport that is used by TSA. I can sense someone smoking from a mile away. I could have eyes like Stevie Wonder and know Jason Dufner (pro golfer) had a dip in when I was watching this Sunday. Seems like everyone either smokes or dips. Now during suck times, I say to myself, "Wow, everyone uses nicotine. What is the big deal?"
I am doing some info searching on the web today. I am attempted to solidify my quit. I come across an article. In the comments section, some hating ass troll piece of shit is downplaying the cause of cancer by smokeless tobacco. I begin reading more information. I think my mind sensed another moment of vulnerability. I continue to pursue information that would allow for the piece of shit troll's argument to hold water. One of the articles states that "smokeless tobacco doubles your chances of getting cancer". My addicted ass is thinking, "Whoa, only doubles? that is not so bad." I immediately grounded myself. I wrote down reasons for my quit. Dying is undeniably the number one reason. I hop into chat and begin talking to my new quitting friends. I asked them to answer one question with one answer. The question was "why are you quit?". The answers I received helped me get out of my funk. I too want to go my daughters wedding. I would also like to not be a slave, be a better family member, and be able to do something else when im older lol. I quit today with all of you quitters. Thank you.

(I hope you dont think this is super corny lol. It helps me out a lot. I guess I could write it down and keep it to myself but screw it.)

Not corny at all my friend. If it helps you stay quit...do it in spades. If you keep it to yourself, it loses some of its power and can't help someone else. Proud to be quit with you.

[MonsterMedic]

The addiction seems to sense tiny openings of vulnerability and does its best to exploit it.
Has anyone noticed how few people had a nicotine habit while we are using? I remember the feeling of loneliness that nicotine gave me when i was standing out in the rain smoking a cigarette or leaving a conversation because I had to spit and I couldn't hold it anymore.  Today, I have nicotine radar.  I am like the security detector at the airport that is used by TSA. I can sense someone smoking from a mile away. I could have eyes like Stevie Wonder and know Jason Dufner (pro golfer) had a dip in when I was watching this Sunday.  Seems like everyone either smokes or dips.  Now during suck times, I say to myself, "Wow, everyone uses nicotine. What is the big deal?"
I am doing some info searching on the web today.  I am attempted to solidify my quit.  I come across an article.  In the comments section, some hating ass troll piece of shit is downplaying the cause of cancer by smokeless tobacco. I begin reading more information. I think my mind sensed another moment of vulnerability.  I continue to pursue information that would allow for the piece of shit troll's argument to hold water. One of the articles states that "smokeless tobacco doubles your chances of getting cancer". My addicted ass is thinking, "Whoa, only doubles? that is not so bad." I immediately grounded myself.  I wrote down reasons for my quit.  Dying is undeniably the number one reason. I hop into chat and begin talking to my new quitting friends.  I asked them to answer one question with one answer. The question was "why are you quit?". The answers I received helped me get out of my funk. I too want to go my daughters wedding.  I would also like to not be a slave, be a better family member, and be able to do something else when im older lol.  I quit today with all of you quitters. Thank you.

(I hope you dont think this is super corny lol. It helps me out a lot. I guess I could write it down and keep it to myself but screw it.)

This is also your journal to record your thought abourt your quit. Nothing corny. Just reality at its finest.

keep up the good work.

I record in my Intro page daily what I am feeling. Nothing corny about it. It's good to have to look back on and see where you have been. Keep on quitting.

I think it's a good idea to post what you're feeling and going through with your quit. I've been doing it on my intro page, too. Seems to help keep my sane by typing it out and getting feedback/support from the guys in here.