Eaxson -
You could have just as easily been describing me. I went 20 years before I quit...20 YEARS believing I was really in control, could quit whenever I wanted, blah, blah, blah.
That is addict speak...and there's no shame in it. The shame falls on those who don't have the guts to quit. The shameful people are the ones intentionally inflict the worst pain...the loss of a parent, child, brother/sister, or friend...on the people who love them most.
Funny how the Nic Bitch warps your brain, huh? But you're in the right place. Post roll and get ready for the fight of your life...literally. Emberace the haze. That is the feeling of healing. You spent 13 years getting in. It's gonna take longer than 1 day getting out. But rejoice in the pain of recovery. At least you're here to feel it.
Post roll, keep your word, and repeat. That is all that matters. Ignore tomorrow, next week, and forever. We'll deal with them when they get here. You just focus on right now. You don't need "hope" if your word is worth anything. "Hope" is for people who are "trying," "taking a break," or "about to do something."
You are a quitter. If that shit isn't in your mouth right now, they you're quit. If you gave your word, then you're quit all day. Now all you have to do is keep your word and repeat. Welcome to freedom, brother.
