Quitting while hiding it

[RDB]

Come clean. After the initial shock, the weight of the world will be lifted off your shoulders.

[pab1964]

Micheal be a man, sack up tell your wife, what a scumbag you've been for lying to her but you want a clean slate and this is it you're done because you have help! Quit today and post roll ! We've waited years, each one of us, for tomorrow, my tomorrow came 38 years of wasted life! It's up to you but you better make sure you wanna quit because this shots not easy! Done for now post more later if you post roll! Price of advice my friend and remember we all know what you're fixing to go through!

[DjPorkchop]

Thank you, Ray.

I confessed it to my best friend and he agrees that I should quit as soon as possible. Now is the time to come clean.

I worry about anxiety and how it will affect my own impending therapy/counselling. In other words, will my anxiety from withdrawal cause me to say, do, or think things that will kill the restoration of the marriage.

Still, would be worse in future if I tried ninja quitting.

I will set my quit date this week, the earlier the better, and just in here starting today.

Michael

You are going to get a tad cranky maybe. My wife actually said I was not bad. However, I had valium on board as well. I can't see it MAKING you say anything damaging. You have a choice say it or not. Remember, they did not do this to you, you did. it is not their fault. You have the power to refrain from verbal abuse.

I have quoted this before and I will one more time. "What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do." Aristotle

Great quote that pretty much sums it all up on one.

And quit dates, Mmmmm they rarely to never work. I have lived it over and over for years. I have saw it first hand here day after day post after post. Very rarely does someone come in and want to quit and offers up a quit date that we actually see come back. There is no better time than now. Why continue to poison your self even just for another day or two? Poison is poison right?

In the end it is your call. I hope to see you on roll and fighting the good fight. Your life is worth it. Once you make that decision to jump in, Im on board with you. I'll support edd!

Take care.

Ray

[Michael_D]

Thank you, Ray.

I confessed it to my best friend and he agrees that I should quit as soon as possible. Now is the time to come clean.

I worry about anxiety and how it will affect my own impending therapy/counselling. In other words, will my anxiety from withdrawal cause me to say, do, or think things that will kill the restoration of the marriage.

Still, would be worse in future if I tried ninja quitting.

I will set my quit date this week, the earlier the better, and just in here starting today.

Michael

[DjPorkchop]

Hi Michael D

Welcome to the site! In my reading experience, ninja quitting never works. We have had a few chats the last couple days about this actually so you are not alone. When you try to hide your quit here on the site, you give up so much that the site has to offer. Often when you are on site reading hall of fame or words of wisdom or reading your quit group, you will jump off the site when someone comes in the room, you won't exchange phone numbers with brothers of quit, you will and maybe only post roll and leave never to partake in any of the forum. You are leaving 90% of the system behind. Your call really.

I know coming clean sucks. If you have to, you have to. Would you rather your wife and family be mad at you for ever for lying or love you until you die of cancer? Or how are you going to explain a missing jaw if you don't go full force and start dipping again? You can't "Hide" that. Once again, it's your call.

There is really no way to hide a quit. You are going to get a little cranky or bitchy. Maybe a lot. There is no hiding that and you will need a good reason for it, not an excuse. And remember if you do get cranky, it is not their fault. You can't treat them or anyone like shit because you packed your face full of cat shit for so long. It's all on you. Now it is up to you to man up and do the right thing and quit. Not stop, but quit!

I just read a post a minute ago from a fella who said he read everything here and the system sound like work and is a pain in the ass. Hmm Interesting. And ones wife and or family planning a funeral for a loved one who never quit is not a pain in the ass? I read another post that said a guys wife said his bitchyness was not worth him being quit and he needed to go buy a tin. That my friend is a couple fine examples of addict thinking at it's finest.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

1. Post roll daily! This is your promise to yourself and your quit group that you will not use any nic at all today.
2. Exchange numbers with your brothers of quit. They may be your lifeline in a cave situation. I know, numbers exchanging with strangers, no thanks. WRONG! Them are the ones who cave every single time.
3.Drink LOTS of water and if you drink alcohol, drop it for now.
4. exercise until you are blue in the face.
5. Drink an ass load of water. 3 days the nic is flushed from your body then its all mental after that.
6. Read everything on this site you can possibly read. When you are done, do it again.
7. This might be the most important one... REMEMBER THE SUCK!! Do you ever want to live through another shitty ass day 1 ever again? Of course not! So don't forget it!


That is it in a nut shell. You badly need to get to know your quit group folks and others quickly. If you post and ghost, Mmmmmm not good. Join in and get everything we have to offer. There are loads of bad ass quitters here to help. You are not alone and your story is not unique at all. Countless others have been there and they are here and doing fine. So come on in and grab a drink of the kool aid! it tastes great! The flavor today is called Freedom!!!

Your quit group: topic/11679548/132/

How to post roll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmDgTPJ6HyM

Take care man and jump on that roll!

Ray 305

[Michael_D]

Almost 30 years dipping. Almost 1 can Cope/day now.

Told wife I quit about 4-5 years ago. Have been hiding it.

I want to get my life in order with not hiding things, especially since I would try to hide drinking until I quit it 3 years ago. Every 2-3 years before that I'd binge drink and be caught and trust would be smashed.

Now ... as I want to work so hard on avoiding shame and be honest about life and such, I realize that the nicotine is what allowed me to absorb and stuff and endure stressful thing in my life. I forgot how to deal with life as an adult.

I NEED to get rid of this thing sitting here in my lip right now. It WILL prevent me from being the ME that my wife and family wanted and thought they had.

I am kicked out of the house. I am starting therapy.

I KNOW I need to quit. Should I reveal that I've been lying about this most essential thing so they understand my anxiety, or should I try to quit privately as I go through therapy and try to save my marriage?

To tell or not to tell...?

Michael_D