Quit or Die

[JayDubya]

Happy First Birthday!! 365--man, that's an accomplishment and strong no matter how you slice it! Congrats!!

[RAZD611]

'wave' 'wave' 'wave'

[Sharsky]

The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - presentDay 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.

Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.

Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it.  Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.

Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability.  At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.

Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.

Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight.  Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change.  That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.

Thank you everyone.

Way to represent the January 13 Jackwagins Evil...and definitely Congratulations on your accomplishment. Enjoy it, celebrate it...I'll be quit with you all dam day during it too!

[srans]

The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - presentDay 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.

Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.

Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it.  Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.

Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability.  At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.

Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.

Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight.  Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change.  That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.

Thank you everyone.

thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'

Great accomplishment evil. Thanks for every word you have spoken at ktc. Your one of the reasons my quit was and is even possible!!

[traumagnet]

The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - presentDay 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.

Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.

Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.

Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that IÂ’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like IÂ’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.

Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.

Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.

Thank you everyone.

thank you Evil for all your hard work and dedication to the site and quit a true role model enjoy your day. 'oh yeah'

[Punkin]

Congratulations evil, that's a hell of an accomplishment. You reached out to me on my first day here and every day since and I appreciate it.

[Minny]

The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - presentDay 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.

Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.

Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it.  Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.

Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability.  At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that I’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like I’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.

Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.

Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight.  Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change.  That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.

Thank you everyone.

Thank YOU, Evil! You've been a huge help to me and countless others. Congrats on one year!

'clap'

[Evil_Won]

The Reign of Evil
10/10/12 - presentDay 1 - 100 - Constant battles to remain nic free. Engage in all areas of KTC. Believe, with full faith, that KTC will work. Stick with the plan: Post roll everyday, honor my word, repeat tomorrow.

Days 100-200 - Start to get comfortable being dip free. Start to learn that NAFAR is not just a catchy thing to toss at someone in a funk, but that it is true. Dip serves no positive purpose. I was honored to be asked to co-conduct the HOF Train with OneImpressiveBall. That act alone increased my accountability exponentially. Thanks Boelker and LCWB for providing that extra level of accountability. All during this time I still thought about dip constantly, every hour of every day. Quitting still was difficult.

Days 200-300 - Quitter meets…many! If anyone reading has the opportunity to meet a quitter in person do it. Kdip came to town for some ghey convention and tossed the idea of being a mod. Me? I’m in my 200s! You need at least a comma to be worthy of that. He said my name was mentioned and asked me if I would even accept if I was asked. The only question I asked him was “has being a MOD increased your accountability?” Without hesitation he said absolutely. So, when the Admins asked I had no choice but to accept.

Days 300-363 - More quitter meets. More accountability. At this point I had an epiphany: I still think about dip constantly, several times an hour, but the urge to act on those thoughts is gone. This is perfect! Thinking about it keeps me reminded that IÂ’m an addict, but no urge to act on it keeps me quit. I am feeling better health wise. More confident, like IÂ’m dragging a redwood between my legs. Start a one-man crusade at work and take over the company. Stress is at an all-time high. Still quit.

Day 364 - Traveling for work. Alone in a hotel. HOF coin, 200 day chip, and Smokey Mountain at my side.

Day 365 - Meeting Sportsfan (for the second time) to celebrate, and just because I’m in his neighborhood, and he is a rock star; the Mick Jaggar of quit. I have remained nicotine free for one year straight. Here is what I’ve learned: I’m still an addict and that will never change. That’s ok too! Why? Because of KTC and the people that make this “online community” a family. Whether you are over 3,000 days quit, just posted for your first time, or are getting you balls kicked for caving for the third time, everyone here is vital to the overall success of everyone else. Failure, caving, is a choice that one has to consciously make. One cannot fail today if they give their word and honor it today. For me the choice is clear.

Thank you everyone.

[duathman]

A year ago today you were a pussy now you are a badass. Congrats brother!!

[Derk40]

Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.

The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.

The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.

i will second that freedom feels so good

Needing and wanting are two very different things. In this scenario need trumps want on the survival scale.

You may need to quit, but if you don't want to quit you won't.

I fully agree with Evil's statement.

You are a bada$$ quitter Evil. That says it all. I "knew" I needed to quit for years. Was not "ready" until 23 June 2013. You were the first post on my thread and you fixed my day 1 roll post which I screwed up. I was thinking of that this morning when I somehow butchered roll on the Sept 2013 thread and needed to submit a trouble ticket to have someone clean up my mess. Proud to be quit with you today!

[Mike from AB]

Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.

The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.

The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.

Awesome insight, thanks for sharing! Yes knowing is one thing, but when knowing turns to ready, that's a pretty powerful feeling.

[Mjollnir]

Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.

The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.

The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.

i will second that freedom feels so good

Needing and wanting are two very different things. In this scenario need trumps want on the survival scale.

You may need to quit, but if you don't want to quit you won't.

I fully agree with Evil's statement.

[Sportsfan231]

Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.

The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.

The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.

i will second that freedom feels so good

[Evil_Won]

Knowing that you should quit is far different from being ready to quit.

The KNOWING mindset: This is a waste of money. It’s not healthy. There are more than dozens of known carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. My gums are receeding. It’s gross. It causes oral and pancreatic cancer. My significant other is disgusted by it. I don’t feel like a man. I lie. I cheat. I steal. I have some stressful shit coming down the pipe. How will I get through it? I need to be productive this week at work. My Leukoplakia is looking worse. I can’t afford to go without sleep right now. I have some deadlines to meet at work. New baby is one the way. Have a newborn at home. Money is tight at home and stressful. I got laid off. Final exams are coming up. I’m worried about weight gain when I quit. That’s it; I’ve set my “quit date”. The NRT (patch, gum, e-cigg, loose leaf suppository, etc.) products helped me quit in the past. Tomorrow. Blah Blah Blah.

The READY mindset: IÂ’m done. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems. Tobacco use is never justified. Never again for any reason. One day at a time. I quit.

[kkljinc]

Nicotine is a powerful drug. We all agree on that. Yet still, it amazes me the lengths (and timing) of her actions to lure me back into her lair. Yesterday was 300 consecutive days of being nic and dip free. If work didn't suck ass so bad I would have called it a pretty good day.

I had MY first dip dream last night, on night 300. I've had one or two smoking dreams (odd in that I never smoked). I had dreams where others were dipping, but me dipping was new territory. I don't remember the circumstances of the dream. Usually I remember dreams in excruciating color and detail, but not this one. I just know that I was happy dipping and slowly became aware of what I was doing. I got hot (like feverish), started to sweat, started to become aware of those around me looking at me with disgust, started to gag on the fattest lipper I ever stuffed into my face, felt and heard my heart pounding, then woke up.  I was hot (feverish), sweating, heart pounding, but the wife as asleep and not staring.

I've made it to day 301 but now my tongue hurts like hell. Is this the Bitch using her Plan B, or is this my good friend Quit inflicting real physical pain on day 301 as a reminder that I can never go back. Just one is not an option. I stopped once for 28 days but listened to her and had just one for seven more years of daily dipping. I am an addict.

I posted roll today and of course that means I will remain nic and dip free for the next 24 hours. If I am fortunate enough to wake tomorrow, I will do the same thing again for day 302.

You are no doubt an addict! But damn it you an even bigger freakin bad ass mr Evil. I Erussell quit with you all damn day.

You win. She is a sore loser. FU Nic.

That's exactly what the dreams do to me. Wake up abruptly with heart pounding, soaking wet, systems on full tilt panic mode. Sucks..... bad. Don't have them very often, but I hope the never go away. They make me very aware of just how tricky our opponent is.

Rock on, Evil..... +1.

Good Job Evil!!

I just had my first couple of dip dreams last week. My first one was exactly like you describe yours: fading into it feeling happy first and slowly realizing that I was happy because I was dipping a huge fat mouth of nasty poison! At that point the shame and guilt hit me and I woke up knowing I was dreaming but swearing I had a poison turd in my lip... Really shook me, but wow I do not ever want to feel that for real and so it makes my quit stronger. Quit on.

Congrats, Evil, on the 300, true bad ass. Consider yourself lucky, I get to have one of those awesome guilt filled dreams at least a couple times a week. They blow! But now, I can wake up and laugh, and still own it.