Realized i was only posting the bad stuff and wanted to post the good as well. On Sunday, I had a weird experience, but great. I walked out our back door the same way I have hundreds of other times, but this time it was different. I walked out, felt the sun shining on my skin, heard birds singing, and for the first time in I don't remember how long, I felt 100% present in the moment. I wasn't thinking about a dip, or anything else for the matter... I was just being in the present. It only lasted about 10 seconds, but it was both surprising and amazing.
5 minutes later I was worrying about tingling in my cheek again, but I can look back on those 10 seconds standing there and remember why it's worth it to stay quit today.