Quitting today

[eric71]

50 Days Quit Today

I would have expected to be further along in my quit at 50 days. Not sure how many times I have made it this far in the past. This is certainly the first time I kept count. Regardless, it is not getting any easier. The emotional side of quitting has worn off and now I am just quit. Grumpy as hell and not enjoying my quit. No one shared my dipping and as such, no one but this forum is sharing my quit. Thank goodness for this forum.

I started running again after two years fighting back issues. It feels amazing however each time I go out, some asshat drives by smoking a cigarette or worse, a nice cigar. Its not like I live in the city. Its the fucking suburbs. I cannot help feeling like Nic is constantly testing me. Stalking me. Like I said, this is not getting any easier.

Staying quit at 50 ... hating every fucking minute of it.

-Peter

hey nice job on the 50, half way to the HOF. You ever feel too much of a tug, reach out to us there who are right beside you. Together we can keep this crap out of our lives for today and then make the promise when we wake up to keep it out for another day.

hope you have some numbers, pm me if you want another.

You should hate your quit, every fucking minute, every day. You should hate the fact that you allowed that to become you are measuring your current life against. You should hate the fact that you, and you alone, were alone in the use and the quit. You were the weak one who fell prey to the false promises of a lying bitch. Now is the time to renew your commitment to your quit, your family, your wife, and your life.

Right there at 50 with you, and proud to be QLAFM with you every step of the way. I hate what I allowed myself to become, but today, I am free.

[Mcbeevee]

Keep it simple and just concentrate on your quit for today! Pretty soon you will quit counting the minutes and you can concentrate on all the things that really matter in life. After 30 years of dipping every day, I could not imagine my life without the dip. Pretty pathetic now that I know what life is like going 424 days strong in my "Quit"!
I envy you that you realized the importance of this decision while being a young father to your children. Be an incredible example to them by displaying your strength in your quit. Every day you get stronger and will soon "own" your life back!

[SirDerek]

50 Days Quit Today

I would have expected to be further along in my quit at 50 days. Not sure how many times I have made it this far in the past. This is certainly the first time I kept count. Regardless, it is not getting any easier. The emotional side of quitting has worn off and now I am just quit. Grumpy as hell and not enjoying my quit. No one shared my dipping and as such, no one but this forum is sharing my quit. Thank goodness for this forum.

I started running again after two years fighting back issues. It feels amazing however each time I go out, some asshat drives by smoking a cigarette or worse, a nice cigar. Its not like I live in the city. Its the fucking suburbs. I cannot help feeling like Nic is constantly testing me. Stalking me. Like I said, this is not getting any easier.

Staying quit at 50 ... hating every fucking minute of it.

-Peter

hey nice job on the 50, half way to the HOF. You ever feel too much of a tug, reach out to us there who are right beside you. Together we can keep this crap out of our lives for today and then make the promise when we wake up to keep it out for another day.

hope you have some numbers, pm me if you want another.

[pj_911]

50 Days Quit Today

I would have expected to be further along in my quit at 50 days. Not sure how many times I have made it this far in the past. This is certainly the first time I kept count. Regardless, it is not getting any easier. The emotional side of quitting has worn off and now I am just quit. Grumpy as hell and not enjoying my quit. No one shared my dipping and as such, no one but this forum is sharing my quit. Thank goodness for this forum.

I started running again after two years fighting back issues. It feels amazing however each time I go out, some asshat drives by smoking a cigarette or worse, a nice cigar. Its not like I live in the city. Its the fucking suburbs. I cannot help feeling like Nic is constantly testing me. Stalking me. Like I said, this is not getting any easier.

Staying quit at 50 ... hating every fucking minute of it.

-Peter

[eric71]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

Great thread. I totally identify with PJ's post. I am totally embarrassed now, but I used to conisider myself a "light dipper" because I took small, barely noticeable dips and didn't leave them in as long as some folks I knew...WTF is that?!!! I have no idea how my dumb-ass rationalized that stupid shit, but I think that is just the nicotine mind-fuck. Like I said, I am embarrassed I used to think that.

Also Diesel, my kids were a big inspiration to me too. I was watching the ninth anniversery special about 9-11 "survivors." They showed a little boy who was the same age as my son when the towers came down. He fought tears as he described life without his father...learning to throw a baseball, wrestling with him, etc. His mother talked about how other dads tried to fill in but they couldn't replace his dad. I teared up just watching that family.

His father was killed by absolutely no fault of his own...just a random terrorist attack. And here I was watching this show with tears in my eyes and a fucking dip in my lip!!! That was it...I quit. After 20 years of dipping, I spit it out, hugged my own little man, and fought through 9 days on my own before finding this site. I posted roll and started reading post after inspirational post.

Something could still happen to me, but I'm sure as shit not going to inflict that kind of pain and suffering on my family by my own action.

I cannot believe how similar our experiences are ... Its like reading something I wrote when you guys talk about your quit. I gotta stay the course. My kids are still asleep ... their day is going to start with a big ass hug. You guys have me inspired today. Thank you.

Cant imagine having my kids come see me as I go through chemo or have part of my jaw or tongue removed. I used ti constantly move my dip around with my tongue. How fucking long was I going to tempt fate???? We burried my uncle last year. He died of small cell cancer from smoking. He was only 56!!! His son, who is only 25, and wife are still a mess from his passing. Yhey also went bankrupt and lost their house due to medical costs.

Yet here I am trying to justify that I need a dip to "celebrate" the weekend as my son and daughter are begging me to go swimming. Like I said, time to grow the fuck up.

Hey Diesel and Co - I am right w you man and I WILL STAY QUIT W YOU!!

My 11 yr old son tells me to stop so I am around and I would always say I'll be fine. Tempting fate is godamned right!! Let's hope we all turn out ok - 20 yrs of kodiak and grizzly for me.

Thanks for the posts, they are a reminder of the strength and resolve we need to carry ourselves with.

Have a great weekend.

Proud to be quit w/you all today. We can do this everyday, one at a time.

QLAFM

[tinman]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

Great thread. I totally identify with PJ's post. I am totally embarrassed now, but I used to conisider myself a "light dipper" because I took small, barely noticeable dips and didn't leave them in as long as some folks I knew...WTF is that?!!! I have no idea how my dumb-ass rationalized that stupid shit, but I think that is just the nicotine mind-fuck. Like I said, I am embarrassed I used to think that.

Also Diesel, my kids were a big inspiration to me too. I was watching the ninth anniversery special about 9-11 "survivors." They showed a little boy who was the same age as my son when the towers came down. He fought tears as he described life without his father...learning to throw a baseball, wrestling with him, etc. His mother talked about how other dads tried to fill in but they couldn't replace his dad. I teared up just watching that family.

His father was killed by absolutely no fault of his own...just a random terrorist attack. And here I was watching this show with tears in my eyes and a fucking dip in my lip!!! That was it...I quit. After 20 years of dipping, I spit it out, hugged my own little man, and fought through 9 days on my own before finding this site. I posted roll and started reading post after inspirational post.

Something could still happen to me, but I'm sure as shit not going to inflict that kind of pain and suffering on my family by my own action.

I cannot believe how similar our experiences are ... Its like reading something I wrote when you guys talk about your quit. I gotta stay the course. My kids are still asleep ... their day is going to start with a big ass hug. You guys have me inspired today. Thank you.

Cant imagine having my kids come see me as I go through chemo or have part of my jaw or tongue removed. I used ti constantly move my dip around with my tongue. How fucking long was I going to tempt fate???? We burried my uncle last year. He died of small cell cancer from smoking. He was only 56!!! His son, who is only 25, and wife are still a mess from his passing. Yhey also went bankrupt and lost their house due to medical costs.

Yet here I am trying to justify that I need a dip to "celebrate" the weekend as my son and daughter are begging me to go swimming. Like I said, time to grow the fuck up.

Hey Diesel and Co - I am right w you man and I WILL STAY QUIT W YOU!!

My 11 yr old son tells me to stop so I am around and I would always say I'll be fine. Tempting fate is godamned right!! Let's hope we all turn out ok - 20 yrs of kodiak and grizzly for me.

Thanks for the posts, they are a reminder of the strength and resolve we need to carry ourselves with.

Have a great weekend.

[Diesel2112]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

Great thread. I totally identify with PJ's post. I am totally embarrassed now, but I used to conisider myself a "light dipper" because I took small, barely noticeable dips and didn't leave them in as long as some folks I knew...WTF is that?!!! I have no idea how my dumb-ass rationalized that stupid shit, but I think that is just the nicotine mind-fuck. Like I said, I am embarrassed I used to think that.

Also Diesel, my kids were a big inspiration to me too. I was watching the ninth anniversery special about 9-11 "survivors." They showed a little boy who was the same age as my son when the towers came down. He fought tears as he described life without his father...learning to throw a baseball, wrestling with him, etc. His mother talked about how other dads tried to fill in but they couldn't replace his dad. I teared up just watching that family.

His father was killed by absolutely no fault of his own...just a random terrorist attack. And here I was watching this show with tears in my eyes and a fucking dip in my lip!!! That was it...I quit. After 20 years of dipping, I spit it out, hugged my own little man, and fought through 9 days on my own before finding this site. I posted roll and started reading post after inspirational post.

Something could still happen to me, but I'm sure as shit not going to inflict that kind of pain and suffering on my family by my own action.

I cannot believe how similar our experiences are ... Its like reading something I wrote when you guys talk about your quit. I gotta stay the course. My kids are still asleep ... their day is going to start with a big ass hug. You guys have me inspired today. Thank you.

Cant imagine having my kids come see me as I go through chemo or have part of my jaw or tongue removed. I used ti constantly move my dip around with my tongue. How fucking long was I going to tempt fate???? We burried my uncle last year. He died of small cell cancer from smoking. He was only 56!!! His son, who is only 25, and wife are still a mess from his passing. Yhey also went bankrupt and lost their house due to medical costs.

Yet here I am trying to justify that I need a dip to "celebrate" the weekend as my son and daughter are begging me to go swimming. Like I said, time to grow the fuck up.

[pj_911]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

Great thread. I totally identify with PJ's post. I am totally embarrassed now, but I used to conisider myself a "light dipper" because I took small, barely noticeable dips and didn't leave them in as long as some folks I knew...WTF is that?!!! I have no idea how my dumb-ass rationalized that stupid shit, but I think that is just the nicotine mind-fuck. Like I said, I am embarrassed I used to think that.

Also Diesel, my kids were a big inspiration to me too. I was watching the ninth anniversery special about 9-11 "survivors." They showed a little boy who was the same age as my son when the towers came down. He fought tears as he described life without his father...learning to throw a baseball, wrestling with him, etc. His mother talked about how other dads tried to fill in but they couldn't replace his dad. I teared up just watching that family.

His father was killed by absolutely no fault of his own...just a random terrorist attack. And here I was watching this show with tears in my eyes and a fucking dip in my lip!!! That was it...I quit. After 20 years of dipping, I spit it out, hugged my own little man, and fought through 9 days on my own before finding this site. I posted roll and started reading post after inspirational post.

Something could still happen to me, but I'm sure as shit not going to inflict that kind of pain and suffering on my family by my own action.

I cannot believe how similar our experiences are ... Its like reading something I wrote when you guys talk about your quit. I gotta stay the course. My kids are still asleep ... their day is going to start with a big ass hug. You guys have me inspired today. Thank you.

[Bean]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

Great thread. I totally identify with PJ's post. I am totally embarrassed now, but I used to conisider myself a "light dipper" because I took small, barely noticeable dips and didn't leave them in as long as some folks I knew...WTF is that?!!! I have no idea how my dumb-ass rationalized that stupid shit, but I think that is just the nicotine mind-fuck. Like I said, I am embarrassed I used to think that.

Also Diesel, my kids were a big inspiration to me too. I was watching the ninth anniversery special about 9-11 "survivors." They showed a little boy who was the same age as my son when the towers came down. He fought tears as he described life without his father...learning to throw a baseball, wrestling with him, etc. His mother talked about how other dads tried to fill in but they couldn't replace his dad. I teared up just watching that family.

His father was killed by absolutely no fault of his own...just a random terrorist attack. And here I was watching this show with tears in my eyes and a fucking dip in my lip!!! That was it...I quit. After 20 years of dipping, I spit it out, hugged my own little man, and fought through 9 days on my own before finding this site. I posted roll and started reading post after inspirational post.

Something could still happen to me, but I'm sure as shit not going to inflict that kind of pain and suffering on my family by my own action.

[Diesel2112]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

"Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can."

Remember this shit. I almost passed out at the wheel multiple times today due to anxiety attacks. My 9 yr old son crying when I told him I had been chewing which is worse than smoking helped me get through today. He cried for a long time too. Said he didn't want me to die. That shit made me cry. So when my body is going spaztic it helps me to think of him. People say hes a mini me.

They say you must quit for YOU. But fucking A, our blood runs through our kids veins they ARE US. I have a 7 year old daughter too. Would be nice to walk her down the aisle and pose for some pics with a full jaw and prideful smile.

I dipped kodiak for 15 fucking years and am only 40 days quit but the way i see it, its time to grow the fuck up. Care to join me?

[pj_911]

18 days tomorrow. Its been rough so far but only because I keep trying to convince myself that my issue is not "as severe" as everyone else's on this forum. That somehow my addiction is more limited and that I am simply overdoing it ... so I can go get a dip. Probably because I have always dipped alone. Silently. Amazing how much time I am putting into distancing myself so that I can go get a dip.

Fuck that ... gotta stay in the game and not talk myself into starting this fucking nightmare up again. I wonder when or if I will ever stop tonging my lip for that feeling. I hate and miss that feeling. Day 17 almost in the book.

[Seth]

Morning guys - Thanks for the kind words and support. The messages are brilliant. This is a good place.

Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can.

Heading over to figure out roll call ... Really mean it, thank you.

I too was a skoal mint guy. Used to call it 'Old Blue.' I too used to find it the perfect complement to a day in the office. I even stayed at a job that I hated for almost five years because it was easy to 'hide' it in the office. It wasn't until I quit that I saw it for the farce it was. Unlike you, I would do it just as much if I worked from home. Pretty much any time day or night, you'd find me with a dip in my mouth, just spit out a dip, or about to pack a new one.

Laying off the booze is a good idea for a while too. Many a day one was posted because someone thought having a couple drinks with the fellas was a good idea. Staying off it. . .well that's a different cross for sure, and there's guys on here that can support you with that too if you need it.

And that's what makes this place great. If you follow the plan, you'll get more support than you know what to do with. You can take what you need, and leave the rest. All you have to do is post roll in the morning and keep your word throughout the day. We'll help all we can. Believe it or not, there are guys on this site that you haven't interacted with yet that just might save your life. We can help you through it because we've all walked that same road.

I quit with pj today.

[pj_911]

Morning guys - Thanks for the kind words and support. The messages are brilliant. This is a good place.

Just got a hug from my little girl ... consider it shared with all of you. She is amazing and transmits such love. I owe it to her and me to live as long as I can.

Heading over to figure out roll call ... Really mean it, thank you.

[Grizzly25]

I am 44 and have been dipping on and off forever. Much more on than off of late. My cube is quiet and the perfect place to enjoy one. Worked from home today where I cannot enjoy the little blue tin of skoal. Seeing the kids, reading this forum and just getting old, perhaps sentimental, got me thinking it is about time I quit. You know, the different *quit* where you don't look back. You move on. Like, I am done with you my fucking disgusting little habit that has been only for me ... well, for a long time.

So no substitutes this time. No cigars ... sorry guys, no fucking booze either. Problems run deep in my genes. Haters bring it on but we all got our crosses to bear. I am "gifted" with a desire to overdo. Works great for the good things in life like being there for my kids, hitting the gym and striving to do well in work and before, school. Its a death sentence for bad habits like drugs, drink and other such pursuits. I envy those folks who can do things in moderation ... it just never worked for me. Got the scars and stories that go on for miles. Hurt and been hurt enough to know that I am not a moderate person.

So tomorrow should be OK. I will work from home again where it is easier. I will keep the kids close and avoid trouble areas like my cube, or walking the dog alone, driving up in the hills alone ... but for now, I just want to get to bed w/o breaking this promise.

See you at roll call tomorrow. And for fucks sake, lets not have a dip before bed.

This is a great intro brother and I can relate on many levels.....

Stay true to your word and stay close to this site post roll every morning and come back and post again same day if you want it cannot hurt brother!

PM me if you need any help or some numbers I am quit with you today!

[Wt57]

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Quitting is possible, difficult, but possible if you want it bad enough. I'm proof of that, I've been an addict since you were a toddler.