I started chewing in my early 20s, about 17 years ago. It was just a joke - I had always been very anti-tobacco. Friends and I were at the beach, we threw in a dip to goof off and it was awful. We all laughed. A few weeks later, my friend and I were bored before work and looking to kill time. We happened to be driving by a gas station and the rest is history - for some reason, we thought it was funny. Still can't believe it happened. Since that night at the beach, four of us have been chewing. We all agree it's the biggest regret of our lives. I'm the first one to quit.
I'm completely ashamed of this addiction and the way I've handled it. It has impacted relationships with women and family members... and they have no idea why. I'm a secret chewer. Nobody knows except a few friends and I never admitted to myself that this is an addiction until recent years. The mind's ability and willingness to fool itself is astounding. I would sneak chew every chance I got. All day, every day. Sneaking out of the house on "errands". Working late at night in the office by myself -- told myself I was doing it to get ahead --- we all know why I really worked late. Saturday/Sunday mornings come and I finally get time with the family but I'm cranky as shit because I'm in withdrawal. I lash out and blame others for causing it. Fucking shameful. Sneaking my s'toons, hiding tins, chewing gum whenever I get home, hiding, sneaking, hiding, sneaking - lying.
I started posting roll on the day I quit, May 19, 2014 - 5 days ago. This is my strongest quit ever and it's all thanks to KTC. Posting roll and reading this website is very empowering. Here are a few things that have helped so far to make this my my final quit - posting roll, reading the hell out of the KTC website, DRASTICALLY REDUCING CAFFEINE (now only drinking a very small amount of coffee or drinking decaf, drinking white tea), being more aware of alcohol trigger, keeping a bag of carrots to chew on at work (helps my stomach), exercising, drinking baking soda mix (helps my stomach), drinking pure cranberry juice (helps my stomach), eating a shit ton of vegetables (supposedly relieves cravings). Basically, everything I can do to stay calm and reduce acidity in my stomach/body. I'm throwing everything, including the kitchen sink, at this quit. The following website has some nice tactics for coping with cravings, too ---
http://whyquit.com/pr/111605.html [[[****Seriously, the caffeine thing has destroyed many attempts to quit. I'm not smart enough to explain how it works. Google it if something that impacts you but basically caffeine doubles in your bloodstream when you quit tobacco. Your body used to metabolize it twice as quickly due to the tobacco but not anymore. That's why caffeine gets you so jacked and stressed while quitting - then when you crash, you think you need a dip.]]]
It's day five and I feel incredible. It's been years since I've felt this confident. FREEDOM, as Lighty says. About half of the fog has lifted. My stomach is generally good but still slowly knots up on me until I realize it's all clenched tight. Not very productive at work. It feels like my eyes see more color and light than they did six days ago - I can't explain that phenomenon any better than that... like the world just became high def.
Let me tell you - five days feels incredible, but I won't get overconfident. I know there is a long way to go. Five days is nothing in the big picture... but it means a lifetime to me right now.