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Author Topic: New here, 4th day into my quit  (Read 3513 times)

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Offline WildBill0771

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2014, 04:58:00 AM »
*introduced myself 3 years ago*

3 years ago I joined this site, 10 days later I started chewing again and haven't looked back since. Got a new job shortly after signing up here, was a butcher previously, couldn't have dip, right? Right. Started my new job as a Hazmat Technician, wasn't around people, not in a respirator often, can chew whenever I want as much as I want.

Now, here I am, again. 2 cans a day sometimes 3. I have a hole in my heart and have also had t.i.a's which to put into layman terms, I'm prone to having "mini-strokes". I was working down in Tennessee for a few months and on March 17th I woke up and had very little feeling in my right arm. Got out of bed, shrugged it off as my arm fell asleep. Went to the gym, got back to the hotel, lied on the bed, that tingling/numbness started going down my leg and into my foot. That's when I realized "uh oh", stood up to my friend/roommate/coworker and said that I needed to get to an E.R. and as I was telling him, the sensation consumed the right side of my torso, chest and face.

Now, answer me this. What was the first thing I grabbed for the car ride to the hospital? If you said my can of chew, you're correct.

Here I am, 24 years old. Dipping since I was 14, I just recently had my 3rd mini stroke at fucking 24 years old, I've known about my heart condition for 3 years. The kicker is I've lost 140lbs. Save the praise, I don't deserve it. My own cardiologist has actually stopped begging and pleading with me to quit, because he pretty much said that I'm going to kill myself regardless of what he thinks, and he'll just try treat it as time goes on. I'm a special kind of asshole for my CARDIOLOGIST to give up hope on me. That's far beyond the point of stubborn, that's downright sickening. (my cardiologist and I have a very open dialogue, which is why he said that too me)

WHY can I overcome obesity but quitting is so hard? HOW am I the person that all my friends and family go to because I'm the "rock", I'm the "strong one"? WHEN did it become okay for me to be addicted to something? WHO the fuck is anyone to tell me I'm strong when I'm apparently so weak? WHAT the fuck am I doing?

I'm not too scared to say I'm an emotional wreck right now. I'm scared to fucking death. I had a good friend pull me aside tonight and she told me how much she cared and that I needed to quit. My first thought "Who the fuck is she to tell ME what to do?!". That was 5 hours ago, it's 5am, I can't catch a wink of sleep because her voice keeps residing in my head.

I WANT to quit, and not for her, or my friends, or my family, but for me. I just don't fucking know how, and I wouldn't be here again if I didn't need a verbal kick in the fucking ass.

I'm not asking for a babysitter. I just need help.
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Offline nicofiend

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2011, 08:06:00 PM »
Welcome aboard WB: POst up and get on with the QUIT!!! Nico
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Offline loot

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2011, 06:24:00 PM »
Welcome WB and congrats on the weight transformation. You understand the absurdity of living healthy and slowly killing yourself at the same time. You also associated the "A" word to yourself.

Nice work. You will be fine. But only if you post Roll Call. Everyday.

PS. Find a vet. Any vet with a bunch of days, and a bunch of posts. Those are the guys you need to study. Pay attention to them. There are many...and they will save your life.

Again....welcome and congrats.
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Offline jaygib

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2011, 05:45:00 PM »
Welcome WildBill and great choice. You can do this but it won't be easy at times. Posting roll daily will make it be easier as that is when you, me and hundreds of others pledge to remain free for another day. And there may come a day when nothing but that promise to folks on the internet will keep you from a dip.
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Quit January 19, 2011

Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Cor 6:12

Offline G

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2011, 05:32:00 PM »
You introduced yourself fine. If you haven't already, go over to the September 2011 quit group and post your day 4. Here is some reading material about this site if you haven't already seen it: index.php?showforum=13

This link will tell you how and why we post roll. It's the most important thing we do 'round here. Welcome and good to be quit with you. Give a shout if I can help.

Actually, if you quit 4 days ago, you're in the August quit group.
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Offline parry8587

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2011, 05:27:00 PM »
Quote from: WildBill0771
There is no luck involved with quitting, either you have the balls or you don't.
Word. One day at a time.
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Offline dchogs

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Re: New here, 4th day into my quit
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2011, 05:14:00 PM »
Welcome to the site, Bill. Post roll, keep your promise, and be quit. Let me know if I can help you...

Proud to be quit with you!
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Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time.
HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18; 27th floor- 10/5/18; 28th floor- 1/13/19; 29th foor- 4/22/19; 30th floor- 7/31/19; 31st floor- 11/8/19; 32nd floor- 2/17/20; 33rd floor- 5/27/20; 34th floor- 9/4/20; 35th floor- 12/13/20; 36th floor- 3/23/21; 37th floor- 7/1/21; 38th floor- 10/9/21; 39th floor- 1/17/22; 40th floor- 4/27/22; 41st floor- 8/5/22; 42nd floor- 11/12/22; 43rd floor- 2/20/23; 44th floor- 6/1/23; 45th floor- 9/9/23; 46th floor- 12/18/23; 47th floor- 3/27/24; 48th floor- 7/5/24; 49th floor- 10/3/24; 50th floor- 1/21/25; 51st floor- 5/1/25; 52nd floor- 8/9/25.

"He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11.

Who dares, wins.

Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.

"To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau

Offline WildBill0771

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New here, 4th day into my quit
« on: May 26, 2011, 04:52:00 PM »
Not quite sure how to introduce myself, or what to do next on here, but here goes:

My name is Will. I have been chewing tobacco since I was 14, I will be 22 in July. It started off as something to do with fellow members of the football team, and got worse once I graduated from High School. Once I turned 18 and was of age to buy, it turned into a full blown addiction.

The past few months, I have been up to 2 tins a day, have a clean bill of health, but was waking up with severe chest pains every morning.

I decided to quit, not only because of the chest pains and the amount of money I was spending, but because I've overcome other obstacles in my life that were much harder than this.

I was always obese growing up, and peaked at 360lbs when I was 16-17. Starting October, 2008, I began weight lifting, changed my diet, and started living a healthy lifestyle. I lost 142lbs and am at 218lbs with a solid frame, and am almost done with my recovery from my first surgery to remove the loose skin.

For someone who counts their shit, and makes sure they get so much protein in to build muscle and remain healthy, I'd be cooking egg whites (god forbid I should have the yolk), with a big fucking lipper in! The fuck is that?! The fuck kind of logic is changing your life to be healthy, and youre stuffing your fucking lip full of cancer?

Fucking stupid. The more I thought about it the more pissed off I got and now here I am.

Certs and Extra long last gum seem to be my saving grace as of right now. I've also inspired my mom to quit smoking again, she quit for 6 years but caved, and now with me quitting chew, shes trying again. That's a big thing for me to, not to cave, for my moms sake. She was the one who decided to lose weight with me too. Its great to have a support system like that.

Also, I got my wristband in the mail today so everytime I want a dip, I can look at as a reminder of why I'm quitting and to cope with the fact that I am an addict, and this is what I have to do.

Well, I didn't know where to start, then I started rambling, now I don't know how to finish.

Don't wish me luck. Just congratulate me. There is no luck involved with quitting, either you have the balls or you don't.
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