Scared

[minuteofangle]

All I want to do is sleep! Keep hoping I will wake up  everything will be over. I always said I should have been born a guy - even though I'm 110 lbs with a boob job! I'd take growing balls to get through this!

Did you say 110 lbs and a boob job? You're growing on me girl :)

'boob' 'boob' 'boob'

Stay Strong

MOA

[kms]

All I want to do is sleep! Keep hoping I will wake up  everything will be over. I always said I should have been born a guy - even though I'm 110 lbs with a boob job! I'd take growing balls to get through this!

[minuteofangle]

Right now, I'm so confused I can't think straight. I still haven't been able to finish work, make it to the shower, or finish laundry... I'm not sure what I want to do. All I know is that I posted roll call today so if I cave it has to wait until tomorrow.

Ya got BALLS girl! Hang in there!!! Get up early (If you can sleep) and post roll again as early as possible. That way you can not cave on Sunday either. Believe it or not the shit is about out of your system. In another day or two things start getting alot better. You will one day look back on this and know it was all worth it!

PS You have a lot of support and people offering you help and advice...DONT FUCK THEM OVER! Stay close to the site and stay involved for a few more days at least.

MOA

[brianl]

Right now, I'm so confused I can't think straight. I still haven't been able to finish work, make it to the shower, or finish laundry... I'm not sure what I want to do. All I know is that I posted roll call today so if I cave it has to wait until tomorrow.

Fuck work. Fuck the shower. Fuck the laundry.
None of that shit matters. Get some sugar free gum, get some sunflower seeds, drink a lot of water. Go run around the block. Whatever it takes.
It can be done. We are proof of it. MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Trust us, it WILL get better.
Bottom line is you're saving your life. Chemo looks pretty good you say?
You won't be saying that when you look in the mirror and you're bald with no fucking lower jaw.

STAY STRONG-STAY QUIT

[Maverick55]

Right now, I'm so confused I can't think straight. I still haven't been able to finish work, make it to the shower, or finish laundry... I'm not sure what I want to do. All I know is that I posted roll call today so if I cave it has to wait until tomorrow.

5by5 KMS, 5by5 (5 minutes by 5 minutes). You can do this. There will ALWAYS be a reason to not quit - to wait just a little longer. To wait until:

- After the Holidays so you won't be stressed out by the family
- After that next big project at work so you're at your best
- After that big party you friend is having
- After **enter problem here** is resolved

Point being, you can muscle through this, you will muscle through this - because if you don't you will have to go though this again, and no one wants to go through what you're going through again.

Keep your head up, post call, come here and READ everything. I found a significant amount of support in what has been written in the past. If you need a number, PM me.

[Jeeper]

Try not to think about it. You can do this. PM me if you need another number.

[kms]

Right now, I'm so confused I can't think straight. I still haven't been able to finish work, make it to the shower, or finish laundry... I'm not sure what I want to do. All I know is that I posted roll call today so if I cave it has to wait until tomorrow.

[redyota]

Kelly,

My doc prescribed chantix...actually works for me very well on the physical symptons and while it costs about the same as chew monthly, I'd willingly pay double. It satisfies the brain's chemical need for dopamine fix while making the nicotine fairly undesirable. I had quit many many times over three decades and this was the easiest physically and I'm now at one month (my longest.) My quit is so much more about the psycological side of dipping than the physical and I find that to be the more difficult but at least the chantix allows me a better fighting chance. jim

You could do that and still be worrying about your physical addiction a month later (and who knows how much longer really), like Jim has chosen to do. Or, you could hold out for two more days, and be done with it completely.

Not sure about you, but the reason I quit involved ridding my life of addictive substances, not just transferring to another one.

[TootsiePopAddict]

Kelly,

My doc prescribed chantix...actually works for me very well on the physical symptons and while it costs about the same as chew monthly, I'd willingly pay double. It satisfies the brain's chemical need for dopamine fix while making the nicotine fairly undesirable. I had quit many many times over three decades and this was the easiest physically and I'm now at one month (my longest.) My quit is so much more about the psycological side of dipping than the physical and I find that to be the more difficult but at least the chantix allows me a better fighting chance. jim

[davidf517]

kelly, focus on the fact that you are getting healthy and will live longer for your family AND you. you CAN do it. go run, scream, do anything but cave. IT DOES get better. Be proud of it. you WILL do it today and then post again and do it all over again tomorrow. PM me if you need a number to call or text for support.

davidf517

[kms]

Right now even chemo is looking good. I had no idea it would be like this. I posted roll so I'm sticking with it for today.

[Ready]

I don't know how you guys did it!  I'm going crazy.  I have a horrible headache, tons of work to do, can't seem to focus,  I'm antsy  grumpy.  This is not going as planned!  I have my own fraud examination business with me as the only employee  I've got tons of data to analyze for a court date that is too soon - maybe I should have started after it was over. 

I thought about getting drugs but, since I'm a female who has been in hiding I don't want anybody to know.  We live in a small town where we know everybody  my father-in-law is also a dr. here.  Thought about seeing if I could get some online but, I'm not sure I trust those online drug companies.  Please tell me this will get better soon....

First of all. Go post roll. Don't think I didn't notice. That will take dip off the table for today and we can deal with the the withdrawls.

It will get better. Guaranteed.

Your quit has to be the number one priority in your life right now. Everything else will have to take care of itself. YES. This is that important.

What helped me... I considered myself completely useless for the first week. I had no expectation of accomplishing anything but staying quit. Anything I did accomplish was gravy.

You can do this.

Capt Kylos advised me that you pulled a fog post in January. I'll take that. You will get through the fog.

[Jeeper]

Drink plenty, I mean plenty of water. That really helped my headaches.

You can do this.

[Ready]

I don't know how you guys did it! I'm going crazy. I have a horrible headache, tons of work to do, can't seem to focus,  I'm antsy  grumpy. This is not going as planned! I have my own fraud examination business with me as the only employee  I've got tons of data to analyze for a court date that is too soon - maybe I should have started after it was over.

I thought about getting drugs but, since I'm a female who has been in hiding I don't want anybody to know. We live in a small town where we know everybody  my father-in-law is also a dr. here. Thought about seeing if I could get some online but, I'm not sure I trust those online drug companies. Please tell me this will get better soon....

First of all. Go post roll. Don't think I didn't notice. That will take dip off the table for today and we can deal with the the withdrawls.

It will get better. Guaranteed.

Your quit has to be the number one priority in your life right now. Everything else will have to take care of itself. YES. This is that important.

What helped me... I considered myself completely useless for the first week. I had no expectation of accomplishing anything but staying quit. Anything I did accomplish was gravy.

You can do this.

[Capt Kylos]

Hang in there it will get better quickly, I promise.....I'm not to far into this thing but I feel better than I have in three decades........I won't lie and say the first 4 days or so were pretty rough....but I figure radiation and chemo would be a lot rougher. PM me if you need a number and stay quit.
Kyle