Good Morning Quitters,
I am oconnordan and I am on quit day 9. Did not get my intro done until now, but first a huge thank you to the folks who keep this site going, by September quit group, and KDLForever who keeps on texting me. Now for the intro....
I started dipping around age 14, as a freshman at a boarding school. It was everywhere there. The school even spent a lot of time talking about it, scaring you out of it, and educating you about it, but put 400 athletically incined boys together for weeks on end and dip is gong to be everywhere.
By the time I was 15, I was dipping Copenhagen Snuff, and was dipping a lot of it for a 15 year old kid at a boarding school where they watch you all the time. About a can every 2-3 days. I loved it, I loved dipping, I loved being a dipper.
By the time I got to college I was dipping a bit more frequently. A tin every 2 days, perhaps every day. I loved it even more. Got my buddies into it too. I was athletic, good looking, popular. I didn't need to hide dipping. I loved this frickin shit, it was awesome. I on the other hand was a douchebag. After meeting a girl for the evening, I would throw the fattest one in just so I would get kicked out, go home, to dip some more with my roommates. I was a leader amongst the student body and admired by the administration, I flaunted them all and would show up to preside over student body meetings with a fat ball in my lip.
I dipped all the time, could't waste time with a spitter, would just swallow that crap because it was awesome.
Got married, kept dipping because I loved to. Wife would nag, I stopped flaunting in, and started to hide my dipping around her.
Became more successful in my career. Started to get paid to speak to groups about my expertise. Who gives a shit about that, I would speak to groups as large as 500 with a fat ball in.
Had two kids. Would think I should quit, I like them, want to stick around. But no, I fucking love dip. I am a dipper, and I WANT to be a dipper. I'm dipping a tin or more a day now.
Had a few stints of not dipping for some time. Once I even stopped for about 6 months. I never quit though, because I wanted to dip. I loved it. I always started back up though because I love dip, and wanted to be a dipper. In the back of my head I would tell myself I would quit for good at some point, but I knew that would happen when I wanted to quit.
I did not want to quit dipping, so I switched to Skoal cherry. Thought that would do it. I started to dip more. I always had a dip in. I could guzzle water, or whatever I was drinking with a dip in. I could eat with a dip in. I only took it out to sleep.
On May 26, 2014 I woke up and did not have a fresh tin on me. I said this will be the day I quit, knowing that if I was going to quit, I would want to quit. Started jonesin for a dip. Almost got in the car to go get a tin. Then I found this site.
That's when I realized that if I was going to quit, I need to want to quit. This site helped me to that realization. Yes, I am an addict, the addiction made me want to do it, but ultimately I chose to do it. I really do not buy into the crap that addicts cannot help themselves. It is a choice, we exercise our own choices with our own consequences. It's not as if I had someone pointing a gun at my head saying put another fat ball in your mouth. I chose to put one in.
Right now on Day 9, I am choosing to not dip. Instead I chose to polish off a bag of mini Reeses cups. As soon as I hit day 100, I will be posting support on the most recent roll calls every day. If I do not, that is because I chose to dip and I know someone will kick me in the ass via text.
THANK YOU
