My Quit- Day 1

[4familyandme]

And back to the 3 questions Samrs posted:

1. What happened?
I've reflected on this every day since I fell back into the can and honestly I do not have a 100% answer. The simple answer is stress became overwhelming and I did not recognize the patterns from before that would trigger it. In hindsight, I recall chewing on straws and should have recognzied the symptoms. I also did not have a support mechanism in place. Due to the challenges in my marriage, going to my wife to ask for help or support didn't seem viable, but I also failed to ask anyone else for help. For example, I quit posting my quit on here and celebrating the success. I should have kept that as a part of my routine, to remind myself that it wasn't easy to quit, but it sure is easy to fall back into.

2. Why did it happen?
I allowed myself to fall back in, to forget the pain and effort the first time I quit and convince myself I could quit again when I wanted.

3. What are you going to do differently this time?
I'm hoping to get my quit on again with help from my fellow quitters on the site and this time, will stay connected to the site instead of thinking I've got it all under control.

[4familyandme]

Thanks Bulldog. I appreciate the support and hoping to get my account figured out so I don't get myself banned from the site. Tried calling my work EAP for support, that didn't go anywhere, and checked insurance, nothing really there, so other than just adding more frustration to a few hours into my quit, I have quickly realized this is still the best way to quit!

Thanks!

[Bulldog0311]

Good for you man. Sack up and get back in here. Get yourself clean.

Cautionary tale for you new guys. You think hitting the hall at 100 days means you're free? You think it means you kicked the Nic Bitch's ass? You don't need to be here and post roll? I'm telling you. I say it over and over. You are an addict. You'll always be an addict. You can't give that fucking limp dick addict in you one single fucking shred of an excuse that you can ever "have just one." He Nic Bitch is waiting to lure you back in because she only has one mission. One. To get you addicted, keep you addicted and watch you die.

[4familyandme]

Thanks Samrs, certainly not trying to get in trouble or banned, had hoped to get back on the road to being clean again. I'll work on my answers and will see if I can find where I had previously posted to recover my old user name.

Thanks

[Samrs]

Greetings. My name is Jack, I'm 46 and have been fighting nicotine for years, really since college and the Army. Back in 2008 I quit with the help of this site and the great people on the site and managed to stay clean of any nicotine for 8 years. I have a number of excuses but last year I slipped when my job started having me travel and my marriage was not in the greatest of places. Excuses aside, I slipped and fell off the wagon. Unfortunately, over the past year, I haven't made progress getting off the nicotine and have managed to further ruin my marriage by not addressing it and making good on my promises. Regrettably it may be too late for my marriage now, but I am making the committment to myself, and my family, to beat this monster again.

Today is my Day 1. I'm throwing out the nicotine gum, just threw out the last of my chew and making good on the promises I've failed at miserably, both to myself and to my family, to get clean again.

Thanks
Jack

Jack - if you were here before, in 2008, then you will need to talk to an admin and see about locating your old account. Multiple accounts aren't permitted, and are considered a bannable offense.

After that, you will need to answer some questions, both in your old group and in your new (January 18) group:

1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What are you going to do differently this time?

You might want to read this post from wildirish317 about answering the three questions... they are intended to help you with self-examination, and the answers will help your group understand if you're serious about your quit.

[4familyandme]

Greetings. My name is Jack, I'm 46 and have been fighting nicotine for years, really since college and the Army. Back in 2008 I quit with the help of this site and the great people on the site and managed to stay clean of any nicotine for 8 years. I have a number of excuses but last year I slipped when my job started having me travel and my marriage was not in the greatest of places. Excuses aside, I slipped and fell off the wagon. Unfortunately, over the past year, I haven't made progress getting off the nicotine and have managed to further ruin my marriage by not addressing it and making good on my promises. Regrettably it may be too late for my marriage now, but I am making the committment to myself, and my family, to beat this monster again.

Today is my Day 1. I'm throwing out the nicotine gum, just threw out the last of my chew and making good on the promises I've failed at miserably, both to myself and to my family, to get clean again.

Thanks
Jack

[Vidocq]

Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.

Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.

Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)

So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.

Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.

Night all.

I know where you are coming from and it is ok. I've been called out a couple of times for being too negative and I have never posted a HOF because for myself in some way I am not there yet.

The power of KTC is very, very strong and I believe in it, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. It is ok to find your level. We can't all be Flashman or SamCat. Just keep coming back, and just stay quit.

You can do it. And if you need help, people here will help you. Promise.

Vidocq (aka Jack)

[ironman07]

Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.

Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.

Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)

So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.

Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.

Night all.

Snoopy,

Don't be so hard on yourself, you made it to the HOF! But what I can tell you is that the journey doesn't end at day 100. This is just the beginning...

Come back every day and post roll with your November brothers and sisters.
Go into December, January and February and post your support there to help out the newbies. If you feel like you should be more involved, do it now.

Don't be afraid! Congrats on the HOF!!!!

[Snoopy]

Day 100. Not bad. Not quite ready to post my HOF but will in very near future. Somewhat at odds with myself. I am proud of quitting, again, and my wife even remembered today (yesterday) was 99 days and said congrats, which was more supportive than she has really been, not that I blame her.

Any who, know not everyone can relate or understand, but I've done this before, and have to say on the positive, this was a much better experience than in the past. The terrific people and sense of team really helped take the edge off.

Of course, I wasn't as involved as I could have been, nor should have been. I do certainly believe in the mission of the site and what a terrific idea it was to set up. But as I told my wife tonight, hitting 100 days (again) would be like going back and doing basic training again. I've done it, didn't enjoy it, and glad to have it behind me, but if I had to go through it again, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled. So I guess maybe that is why I've not been as involved as I could have been. Hard to explain, but just a feeling of let down that I am even typing this note. I was clean 3 years, quit cold turkey when my girlfriend, now wife, confronted me on catching on to my ninja chewing. 3 years I made it and then had the worst day at work, so far, and I let a friend take me out for a drive to discuss and of course it started innocent enough with a smoke. Changed jobs, but was already totally into the nic again and wasn't long before I added chew back. Finally quit the cigs, but the chew was a beast. Finally, 100 days ago, I had found this site, told my wife about it, not that I expected she would understand (very proud and strong woman. I honestly believe she has the will power to say she would quit and do it. Much stronger than me.)

So here I am, 100 days down, but I feel bad that I've not been as supportive or involved on here as others. Of course, I've traveled for work quite a bit in the past 100 days, have been trying to raise 2 young kids, and not eactly young myself. But I do regret that I didn't play a more active role on here.

Well, guess I've shed enough of the guilt to call it a night and deal with the rest this weekend. Thanks to all on the team, SamCat, Prof Pinch and all the others who kept an eye out for those of us slow in posting, regardless of the reason.

Night all.

[Snoopy]

Back today after my 3rd week of travel in a row. Knew that was going to be a difficult time and test for me but happy to say made it through with flying colors. 36 days now. Breath minty fresh after all the mint chew but still consider that the lessor of 2 evils for now. Anywho, keep the quit on.

Jack

[Snoopy]

Hadn't updated in a while so thought I would just add a page to my journal. 29 days and still going.

Just got back last night from 2nd business trip in past 2 weeks. Still a struggle but leaned on the fake mint stuff when I felt weak and otherwise just tried to keep busy.

Hard to believe 29 days have already flown by. The urge is still there, especially long drives or when I'm dozing but I've managed. Of course, as usual, think I've eaten everything in front of me and put back on a few more pounds, but one problem at a time.

'Popcorn'

[Snoopy]

Boy that sounds familiar. Every time the eyes would nod, pop in a pinch for a pick me up. Not anymore.

Another milestone today, although not trying to get ahead of myself. First trip back on the road for work, so alone, since I quit. 2 hours in the car after the airport and still quit. 19 Days down!

[comingbackdown]

Brother, the fatigue will lessen... Granted, it still gets to me rarely, since I used to toss one in when drowsy... However, it will lessen.

Lemme put it to you this way...
Going cold turkey on dip is like running out of energy drinks right before that cram session... You're tired as balls.

It'll pass though.

[Snoopy]

Day 14 - not too bad, although I've probably picked up a new mint fake bandit habit. Those have really helped keep my mind off not having chew in the lip. Obviously no high from them but does help replace the habit of when stressed, pop in a pinch.

Glad to see Tapout and Professor Pinch are still on track, as with the rest of the group.

Just adding my 2 cents as I login for my 14th day, 2 weeks down, so many to go and looking forward to living those without the habit.

[Snoopy]

Felt left out without an avatar so went and made one. Seemed fitting to my attitude of late. 'Finger'