How do I begin?... I'm a total P.O.S.! How's that for an into?
I'm in my mid 30's and have been a closet dipper since I was 18 yrs old. My best "friend" introduced me in high school. It was only an occasional thing, then nothing for a while. Then I discovered it helped calmed my nerves in college. The thought of chewing disgusted me, and I didn't want anyone to know "I" did it. I despised those who chewed, yet I was/am doing it. So I became a closet chewer. Fast forward... I've been married for 10+ years and to this day my wife, kids, and family still don't know. I told myself "I'll quit once we're married", "I'll quit once the first kid is born", "I'll quit when I'm 30", "I'll quit when 2nd kid is born", yatta yatta yatta.
I just can't take it anymore! All I've been able to thing about for 16 yrs is "when will I be alone so I can get a dip in?" It's totally wrong and I OWE my family my time with them! NOT DIPPING!
I've had a couple scares in the past year of sensitivity and odd sensations in my mouth / throat. They've came and went and I've passed it off as nothing. I FINALLY scheduled a doctors appointment for next week to admit my sins, get checked out, and face the music. My wife and family are still clueless. I will be beside myself if the results are for the worst. Regardless of that, I have to come clean with her, but I don't know how... This sucks guys! I need your support because you're all I've got.
