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Lets talk about triggers. Very early in my quit (under 20 days in) I spent my annual weekend on the St. Johns river at my friend's home. This is an event that happens every year. My buddy lives on a finger canal a nice 4 iron from the river. Once a year a bunch of us go there and rent 2 homes that are across the canal from him. We also rent a pontoon boat (to go along with my friend's boat). All in all there are 8-10 of us plus whatever women folk and kids come along. The 3 day event consists of taking the boats to Silver Glen (a coldwater spring and major party spot), epic cornhole tournaments (insert joke here about how ghey we are), fishing, riding 4 wheelers, booze cruises on golf carts, hitting 100 or so golf balls into the St Johns from rental property, and amounts of alcohol that would kill a pod of Blue Whales. In the past this meant 2 cans minimum with the likelihood of a third. I didn't use any tobacco. One of my buddies was quit as well for about a year. The 2 of us went through seeds like no tomorrow. I crammed them in my mouth like Redman and in pics from the weekend it actually looks like I have a chew in. It was during that weekend that I knew I could do it. I could quit.
This brings me to tomorrow. Tomorrow I cross my last hurdle. I am playing golf. It has killed me to not play for 3 months. I have turned down invitations just to be sure I was ready. I turned down an invitation to play in a celebrity/charity event at Shingle Creek. I did not think I could play golf without dipping as recently as 2 weeks ago. The idea was terrifying for me. I wasn't going to do it, because I was worried I'd be too preoccupied about the fact that I wasn't dipping. Well, no longer. I don't give a shit about a dip. Tomorrow I will claim back something that was taken from me. I'm ready. I'm excited to play. I'm bringing my plastic seed container that I haven't really touched since my weekend on the St Johns. Oh it's on baby....