The power of not feeling alone

[Tazbutane]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books.  I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1.  A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2.  A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3.  A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me.  The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now.  I made the calls anyway.  Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind.  I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems.  I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me.  It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone.  There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up.  It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it.  Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them.  You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it.  If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone. 

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

+1 nice job, congrats on the week

I agree.

These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.

Very proud of you man.

Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.

I like this guy, nice week bro!

Nice week aaron, keep it going!

[Roamcountry]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books.  I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1.  A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2.  A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3.  A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me.  The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now.  I made the calls anyway.  Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind.  I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems.  I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me.  It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone.  There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up.  It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it.  Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them.  You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it.  If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone. 

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

+1 nice job, congrats on the week

I agree.

These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.

Very proud of you man.

Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.

I like this guy, nice week bro!

[grovermuldoon]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books.  I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1.  A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2.  A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3.  A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me.  The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now.  I made the calls anyway.  Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind.  I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems.  I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me.  It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone.  There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up.  It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it.  Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them.  You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it.  If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone. 

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

+1 nice job, congrats on the week

I agree.

These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.

Very proud of you man.

Yo Aaron. As one of th guys you reached out to, I say thanks brother. Good to chat to a fellow ninja dip fiend. You set a good example. I reached out to others who have helped me in the past two weeks and it felt great. Keep quitting - we'll make HOF within a week of each other. Thanks again. Talk soon.

[wastepanel]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books.  I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1.  A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2.  A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3.  A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me.  The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now.  I made the calls anyway.  Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind.  I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems.  I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me.  It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone.  There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up.  It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it.  Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them.  You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it.  If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone. 

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

+1 nice job, congrats on the week

I agree.

These words you have are also a great way to reach out. You have attracted some big hitters on this site now. We will be watching and we will have your back.

Very proud of you man.

[Skoal Monster]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books.  I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1.  A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2.  A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3.  A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me.  The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now.  I made the calls anyway.  Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind.  I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems.  I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me.  It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone.  There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up.  It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it.  Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them.  You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it.  If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone. 

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

+1 nice job, congrats on the week

[loot]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

Words of Wisdom if there ever were any.

Good on you bro.

[aaronep]

Day 7 at 3PM, another few hours and week 1 is in the books. I have reached out to my KTC brothers over the past day or so for different reasons.

1. A quick call, just wanted to make an introduction, testing the waters.
2. A quick call, I was on tilt and needed to vent.
3. A quick PM, someone else who knows what I am going through.

The first 2 calls were to people who sent me phone numbers early on and the last call was something I initiated via PM on the forum.

These were not easy calls for me. The thoughts going through my head were not good ones - I am a weak pussy, I am going to be telling someone that I have been dipping for over 20 years, and I am desperate and need help right now. I made the calls anyway. Staying quit is more important than being embarrassed or ashamed, that was the worst case scenario in my mind. I didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I swallowed some pride and grabbed the phone.

The conversations with my brothers helped me. It wasn't the difference between quit and not quit, but it makes the quit better knowing you are not alone. There is tremendous residual value for those quick calls that last well past hanging up. It is further validation that others have the same struggles I am facing and are getting through it. Proof that it can be done.

I am not much of a guide for quit, 7 days of experience is pretty limited, but I recommend that the new folks grab some phone numbers and use them. You may have to make a few calls to get someone live, but it is worth it. If you read someone's introduction that makes you laugh or resembles your situation, send a PM with your number - we joined KTC so we wouldn't have to go at it alone.

Smooth sailing for the rest of today and I will be staring tomorrow with a full week of quit in the can.

[jhaenel23]

Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:

*  'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short.  I have to keep an eye on that one.

*  My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised.  I knew how to get to a safe place.

*  My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.

Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway.  Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!

awesome brother! one week is huge...

nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..

Congratulations on a week aaron, stay strong and keep posting, your insights are great to read. We have each others backs, it is a good feeling to know that!

Awesome job on making a week!! Just one milestone on the way to many! I am Quit with you Everyday!!

[Tazbutane]

Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:

*  'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short.  I have to keep an eye on that one.

*  My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised.  I knew how to get to a safe place.

*  My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.

Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway.  Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!

awesome brother! one week is huge...

nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..

Congratulations on a week aaron, stay strong and keep posting, your insights are great to read. We have each others backs, it is a good feeling to know that!

[kana]

Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:

*  'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short.  I have to keep an eye on that one.

*  My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised.  I knew how to get to a safe place.

*  My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.

Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway.  Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!

awesome brother! one week is huge...

nice week bro. using the support is what it's all about. the rages can be subdued by exercise, and getting on here and yelling at someone. the elders told me to take it out on them, but usually the exercise did the trick. I only signaled a flair once, but it saved my ass. keep it up, quit with you..

[DanNoCan]

Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:

* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.

* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.

* My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.

Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!

awesome brother! one week is huge...

[aaronep]

Day 6 is going to end in a few hours and I have learned a few lessons:

* 'Dip Rage' is real and my fuse is short. I have to keep an eye on that one.

* My quit is strong and was not close to being compromised. I knew how to get to a safe place.

* My KTC brothers have my back, I lit the flare and the Calvary came.

Tomorrow makes 7 days and that means I got through another day where I am not flossing out dip from my teeth with an old dollar bill in front of my rear-view mirror before pulling in the driveway. Not dipping is going to beat dipping every time!

[jhaenel23]

Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection.  Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time).  Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.

Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming.  As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged.  Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come.  When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit.  That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn. 

KTC has prepared me well.  My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip.  I am OK with that.  I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer.  My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping.  I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.

Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.

I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today.  That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades.  In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on.  Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.

I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight.  That was the first time I ever spoke those words.  I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.

It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number.  I have never done 5 days straight without dipping.  I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)!  I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.

Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother".  I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post.  It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective.  I know what I am doing is hard,  the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO.  For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do.  It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.

I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time.  I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow.  When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it.  I am looking forward to it.  That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".

Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)

Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.

Proud to be quit with you,

Dale

Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.

You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.

yes the triggers will fade, the sun will rise, and then you'll see dumb people doing dumb things. take a deep breath and thank god that you made a powerful decision to take your life back. in the beginning it's a struggle, but as all these fine gents say it get's better, alot better. quit with you

Awesome post! I knew I was moving in the right direction the first time I was around a person who was chewing and I could smell it from 10ft away and it made me sick. I immediately knew how much of a fool I was for thinking that I was "sneaking" one. What a joke. Non-Chewer can smell a chewer from across the room. I never noticed it because I usually had one in myself. I am proud to be quit with you!! Justin

[kana]

Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection.  Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time).  Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.

Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming.  As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged.  Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come.  When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit.  That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn. 

KTC has prepared me well.  My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip.  I am OK with that.  I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer.  My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping.  I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.

Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.

I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today.  That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades.  In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on.  Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.

I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight.  That was the first time I ever spoke those words.  I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.

It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number.  I have never done 5 days straight without dipping.  I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)!  I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.

Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother".  I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post.  It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective.  I know what I am doing is hard,  the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO.  For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do.  It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.

I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time.  I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow.  When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it.  I am looking forward to it.  That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".

Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)

Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.

Proud to be quit with you,

Dale

Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.

You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.

yes the triggers will fade, the sun will rise, and then you'll see dumb people doing dumb things. take a deep breath and thank god that you made a powerful decision to take your life back. in the beginning it's a struggle, but as all these fine gents say it get's better, alot better. quit with you

[Tazbutane]

Ending day 5 late, big day for reflection.  Took a few steps back to the real world today (thanks for the push Diesel, it was the right time).  Met a friend for coffee, did some shopping, and started back at work.

Triggers are everywhere and I see them coming.  As an example, I know before I take my last bite of every meal, I am going to be challenged.  Every time that I pass the shops where I used to buy dip, I know a challenge will come.  When I sit at my desk for work, I am used to a dip and now I have to tell my mind that I will not be having a dip, I am quit.  That bitch is going to keep asking...she is never going to learn. 

KTC has prepared me well.  My mind will likely never be trained to stop asking if I would like a dip.  I am OK with that.  I am quit, nothing is going to change that answer.  My core belief, based on the teachings at KTC, is that not dipping is better than dipping.  I have found a million reasons why that is true (the value of reading all the introductions and HOF speeches!) and have picked the ones that matter to me.

Just like there will be a "x" opportunities for my mind to ask me if I want a dip, I am finding that there is "more than x" reasons why not dipping is better than dipping.

I didn't have to clean tobacco out of my fingernails today.  That is something which worried me all day, every day for the past 2 decades.  In addition to checking for wallet, keys, and dip (that phrase is repeated in so many introductions), I would (because I have always been in hiding) have to plan for my fingernails, breath, spit cup hiding space, and the list goes on and on.  Managing those lies was destroying my life over and over again.

I talked about "being a user" to someone over the phone (KTC member)tonight.  That was the first time I ever spoke those words.  I am very proud of what I accomplished today and I look forward to tomorrow where I know that I will wake up, post my commitment, and live my life without dipping for another day.

It finally hit me today, my quit number is MY number.  I have never done 5 days straight without dipping.  I actually broke a record (yes, the record was 4 days, set by me, set yesterday)!  I am not going to catch Diesel and rest of the guys that I look up to in terms of days quit, that is not an apples to apples comparison.

Here is the power of KTC...Bean (who has 700+ days clean) posts within my introduction "5 days is huge! Congrats, brother".  I may never meet Bean in person but he (or she) helped me today with that simple post.  It didn't help right away but as I read my introduction throughout the course of today, it put my quit into the proper perspective.  I know what I am doing is hard,  the bitch keeps asking me the same question and I have to keep saying NO.  For me, it is not the acknowledgement by Bean specifically about the 5th day, it was a reminder to me that all days are going to be filled with challenges and getting past them is what I am now trained to do.  It could be the 50th, 500th, or 5000th day, I am going to be proud of myself when I make it through.

I have a skill (albeit a work in progress) that allows me to say no to dip one day at a time.  I am going to use that skill more than any other skill tomorrow.  When I make it though another day of quit, I am going to be happy because I used my skill and was successful doing it.  I am looking forward to it.  That is how I translate (in the words of (now immortal in my eyes) Bean), "embrace the suck".

Thank you KTC,
Aaron (Atlanta, GA)

Awesome post, Brother! 5 days is indeed huge! It gets so much better, my friend. There is a time in the near future that you will think about dip less and less. The triggers will fade, the craves will get less frequent and less intense. Freedom is around the corner.

Proud to be quit with you,

Dale

Wow looking back on day 5 I was fighting for my life. Literally raging and in pain struggling through every minute at times with triggers and craves. I just want to say that if you keep after it it does get better. Fight all you can to keep that door closed and take all the help you need. You are not the only quitter struggling today, sometimes helping someone else along distracts you a minute and helps you both, along with anyone else reading who might feel the same way. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.

You have skill for writing aaronep. Keep it up. For yourself and the rest of us! Another great read. thanks for sharing.