Introduction

[MonsterMedic]

437 days

Felt pretty good about hitting 400 the other day and then all of a sudden, WHAM!!

Cravings like crazy.  Mind games.  I even had a drunken, reminiscing, self loathing pity fest one evening.  For a few minutes I thought about indulging and just posting up a day one.  A few weeks ago I was walking around a hunting expo and day dreaming about dip.  One of my best quit friends gave me a good kick in the balls and I got a grip on it and survived the night but it was an adventure nonetheless.

It is strange how a perfect storm of things can make one turn back toward addiction for some feeling of comfort or longing for normalcy.  However false that comfort might be.  I guess I will blame this weirdness on stress.  And perhaps the change of seasons.  There is just something about the smell of spring, the warm air and the longer days that triggers something in my head.  I have caught myself indulging in thoughts such as, "damn some grizzly wintergreen sounds good".  WTF, am I not beyond this?  I am really this weak?  Could I really fail now?

And then I realize these feelings for what they are.............BULLSHIT.  Thank God for this place, thank god for these people.  I have come to understand the truth about addiction.  It is forever.  Nicotine will continue to beckon me.  The nic bitch will whisper every now and then, "come back to me Ryan, I can help you, remember me".  I will continue to use these tools that I have learned.  They are polished and razor sharp.  I am getting pretty damn good at this quitting shit.  It all comes down to honesty.  Addicts can be experts in the art of rationalization.  I did it for decades.  No mas.  I have to call it like I see it now.  No lies.

I guess I am thankful for these reminders.  As the battles have now become so much easier it makes it easy to forget I am still at war.  I see how complacency can set in and make me vulnerable.  These reminders give me strength.  I look forward to the anniversary of my HOF in a couple weeks.  Cant believe it has been almost a year since then.  I am so fucking proud of myself.  Is that wrong?  There were times in my life when I thought I could NEVER get away from dipping.  It is amazing what one can accomplish when they put their mind to it.  Through in a little dose of brotherhood and accountability and BAM you have yourself a quitter.  Never again for any reason.

Quit on friends, quit on.

War. You know... I went to the ww1 museum here in kc a few weeks ago. Most of the people there were "old timers." Not ww1 obviously, but nearing 80. Many had on military hats or jackets. They were very quiet, somber, and holding back emotion. But... They were proud! I talked to several of them and thanked them for their service.

Same deal here. We will always wear evidence of this addiction. It is part of us, Ryan. We have fought long and hard, together, to get to this place. And once in a while , just as memories that these soldiers were having elicited an emotion, we should expect the same. These memories help remind us of the bullshit place we were in and are great motivators. A place we will never go back to if we post roll first thing every day and are men of integrity.

I'm really proud to be on the fog cutters team. Tough times never last. Tough people do. You've hot this, Ryan. One day at a time. See you on the roll again tomorrow.

You both are BAD ASS men who I personally pay a lot of attention too. Quit on and always remember the shit you fought through. Trust me...... The negative feeling after the dip is far worse then any twisted joy that can be attained. Your intelligence and integrity shows in your +1's. Focus on the freedom you have earned.

Agreed with Jake. Keep pressing on. You're one of several that I follow to keep me quit.

[jake frawley]

437 days

Felt pretty good about hitting 400 the other day and then all of a sudden, WHAM!!

Cravings like crazy.  Mind games.  I even had a drunken, reminiscing, self loathing pity fest one evening.  For a few minutes I thought about indulging and just posting up a day one.  A few weeks ago I was walking around a hunting expo and day dreaming about dip.  One of my best quit friends gave me a good kick in the balls and I got a grip on it and survived the night but it was an adventure nonetheless.

It is strange how a perfect storm of things can make one turn back toward addiction for some feeling of comfort or longing for normalcy.  However false that comfort might be.  I guess I will blame this weirdness on stress.  And perhaps the change of seasons.  There is just something about the smell of spring, the warm air and the longer days that triggers something in my head.  I have caught myself indulging in thoughts such as, "damn some grizzly wintergreen sounds good".  WTF, am I not beyond this?  I am really this weak?  Could I really fail now?

And then I realize these feelings for what they are.............BULLSHIT.  Thank God for this place, thank god for these people.  I have come to understand the truth about addiction.  It is forever.  Nicotine will continue to beckon me.  The nic bitch will whisper every now and then, "come back to me Ryan, I can help you, remember me".  I will continue to use these tools that I have learned.  They are polished and razor sharp.  I am getting pretty damn good at this quitting shit.  It all comes down to honesty.  Addicts can be experts in the art of rationalization.  I did it for decades.  No mas.  I have to call it like I see it now.  No lies.

I guess I am thankful for these reminders.  As the battles have now become so much easier it makes it easy to forget I am still at war.  I see how complacency can set in and make me vulnerable.  These reminders give me strength.  I look forward to the anniversary of my HOF in a couple weeks.  Cant believe it has been almost a year since then.  I am so fucking proud of myself.  Is that wrong?  There were times in my life when I thought I could NEVER get away from dipping.  It is amazing what one can accomplish when they put their mind to it.  Through in a little dose of brotherhood and accountability and BAM you have yourself a quitter.  Never again for any reason.

Quit on friends, quit on.

War. You know... I went to the ww1 museum here in kc a few weeks ago. Most of the people there were "old timers." Not ww1 obviously, but nearing 80. Many had on military hats or jackets. They were very quiet, somber, and holding back emotion. But... They were proud! I talked to several of them and thanked them for their service.

Same deal here. We will always wear evidence of this addiction. It is part of us, Ryan. We have fought long and hard, together, to get to this place. And once in a while , just as memories that these soldiers were having elicited an emotion, we should expect the same. These memories help remind us of the bullshit place we were in and are great motivators. A place we will never go back to if we post roll first thing every day and are men of integrity.

I'm really proud to be on the fog cutters team. Tough times never last. Tough people do. You've hot this, Ryan. One day at a time. See you on the roll again tomorrow.

You both are BAD ASS men who I personally pay a lot of attention too. Quit on and always remember the shit you fought through. Trust me...... The negative feeling after the dip is far worse then any twisted joy that can be attained. Your intelligence and integrity shows in your +1's. Focus on the freedom you have earned.

[worktowin]

437 days

Felt pretty good about hitting 400 the other day and then all of a sudden, WHAM!!

Cravings like crazy. Mind games. I even had a drunken, reminiscing, self loathing pity fest one evening. For a few minutes I thought about indulging and just posting up a day one. A few weeks ago I was walking around a hunting expo and day dreaming about dip. One of my best quit friends gave me a good kick in the balls and I got a grip on it and survived the night but it was an adventure nonetheless.

It is strange how a perfect storm of things can make one turn back toward addiction for some feeling of comfort or longing for normalcy. However false that comfort might be. I guess I will blame this weirdness on stress. And perhaps the change of seasons. There is just something about the smell of spring, the warm air and the longer days that triggers something in my head. I have caught myself indulging in thoughts such as, "damn some grizzly wintergreen sounds good". WTF, am I not beyond this? I am really this weak? Could I really fail now?

And then I realize these feelings for what they are.............BULLSHIT. Thank God for this place, thank god for these people. I have come to understand the truth about addiction. It is forever. Nicotine will continue to beckon me. The nic bitch will whisper every now and then, "come back to me Ryan, I can help you, remember me". I will continue to use these tools that I have learned. They are polished and razor sharp. I am getting pretty damn good at this quitting shit. It all comes down to honesty. Addicts can be experts in the art of rationalization. I did it for decades. No mas. I have to call it like I see it now. No lies.

I guess I am thankful for these reminders. As the battles have now become so much easier it makes it easy to forget I am still at war. I see how complacency can set in and make me vulnerable. These reminders give me strength. I look forward to the anniversary of my HOF in a couple weeks. Cant believe it has been almost a year since then. I am so fucking proud of myself. Is that wrong? There were times in my life when I thought I could NEVER get away from dipping. It is amazing what one can accomplish when they put their mind to it. Through in a little dose of brotherhood and accountability and BAM you have yourself a quitter. Never again for any reason.

Quit on friends, quit on.

War. You know... I went to the ww1 museum here in kc a few weeks ago. Most of the people there were "old timers." Not ww1 obviously, but nearing 80. Many had on military hats or jackets. They were very quiet, somber, and holding back emotion. But... They were proud! I talked to several of them and thanked them for their service.

Same deal here. We will always wear evidence of this addiction. It is part of us, Ryan. We have fought long and hard, together, to get to this place. And once in a while , just as memories that these soldiers were having elicited an emotion, we should expect the same. These memories help remind us of the bullshit place we were in and are great motivators. A place we will never go back to if we post roll first thing every day and are men of integrity.

I'm really proud to be on the fog cutters team. Tough times never last. Tough people do. You've hot this, Ryan. One day at a time. See you on the roll again tomorrow.

[Its_Got2Happen]

437 days

Felt pretty good about hitting 400 the other day and then all of a sudden, WHAM!!

Cravings like crazy. Mind games. I even had a drunken, reminiscing, self loathing pity fest one evening. For a few minutes I thought about indulging and just posting up a day one. A few weeks ago I was walking around a hunting expo and day dreaming about dip. One of my best quit friends gave me a good kick in the balls and I got a grip on it and survived the night but it was an adventure nonetheless.

It is strange how a perfect storm of things can make one turn back toward addiction for some feeling of comfort or longing for normalcy. However false that comfort might be. I guess I will blame this weirdness on stress. And perhaps the change of seasons. There is just something about the smell of spring, the warm air and the longer days that triggers something in my head. I have caught myself indulging in thoughts such as, "damn some grizzly wintergreen sounds good". WTF, am I not beyond this? I am really this weak? Could I really fail now?

And then I realize these feelings for what they are.............BULLSHIT. Thank God for this place, thank god for these people. I have come to understand the truth about addiction. It is forever. Nicotine will continue to beckon me. The nic bitch will whisper every now and then, "come back to me Ryan, I can help you, remember me". I will continue to use these tools that I have learned. They are polished and razor sharp. I am getting pretty damn good at this quitting shit. It all comes down to honesty. Addicts can be experts in the art of rationalization. I did it for decades. No mas. I have to call it like I see it now. No lies.

I guess I am thankful for these reminders. As the battles have now become so much easier it makes it easy to forget I am still at war. I see how complacency can set in and make me vulnerable. These reminders give me strength. I look forward to the anniversary of my HOF in a couple weeks. Cant believe it has been almost a year since then. I am so fucking proud of myself. Is that wrong? There were times in my life when I thought I could NEVER get away from dipping. It is amazing what one can accomplish when they put their mind to it. Through in a little dose of brotherhood and accountability and BAM you have yourself a quitter. Never again for any reason.

Quit on friends, quit on.

[Skoal Monster]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

400 days ago you and I were just beginning a journey that neither of us was anticipating. We both knew we needed to quit. We were both weak and very fucked up. You and a handful of others helped drag me along kicking and yelling, and together one day at a time things slowly got better. And better.

There are people reading this that are saying bullshit. It won't ever get better. This hell that I am in won't ever improve. Well... It does. It took you a while to get to this point, Ryan. I remember us talking around 300 when you were headed out to the deer stands and you were a nervous wreck. Remember jacking up roll those days? lol. But, just like in shawshank redemption, you have broken free. Never forget where you were 400 days ago. Because, we won't ever go through that a grin by keeping our word one day at a time.

Congratulations Ryan. And thank you.

awesome on 4 bills keep you head up this was a good read proud of you IG2H!!

Awesome job IG2H. Well done.

Great 400 Bro! You're a kick ass quitter and an asset to the site. You've helped me and vice versa along the way. Too bad we never hooked up that time in Michigan but I'll be back. Hahaha. Rock on bro.

Congrats my friend

[Morgan1]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

400 days ago you and I were just beginning a journey that neither of us was anticipating. We both knew we needed to quit. We were both weak and very fucked up. You and a handful of others helped drag me along kicking and yelling, and together one day at a time things slowly got better. And better.

There are people reading this that are saying bullshit. It won't ever get better. This hell that I am in won't ever improve. Well... It does. It took you a while to get to this point, Ryan. I remember us talking around 300 when you were headed out to the deer stands and you were a nervous wreck. Remember jacking up roll those days? lol. But, just like in shawshank redemption, you have broken free. Never forget where you were 400 days ago. Because, we won't ever go through that a grin by keeping our word one day at a time.

Congratulations Ryan. And thank you.

awesome on 4 bills keep you head up this was a good read proud of you IG2H!!

Awesome job IG2H. Well done.

Great 400 Bro! You're a kick ass quitter and an asset to the site. You've helped me and vice versa along the way. Too bad we never hooked up that time in Michigan but I'll be back. Hahaha. Rock on bro.

[Gdubya]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

400 days ago you and I were just beginning a journey that neither of us was anticipating. We both knew we needed to quit. We were both weak and very fucked up. You and a handful of others helped drag me along kicking and yelling, and together one day at a time things slowly got better. And better.

There are people reading this that are saying bullshit. It won't ever get better. This hell that I am in won't ever improve. Well... It does. It took you a while to get to this point, Ryan. I remember us talking around 300 when you were headed out to the deer stands and you were a nervous wreck. Remember jacking up roll those days? lol. But, just like in shawshank redemption, you have broken free. Never forget where you were 400 days ago. Because, we won't ever go through that a grin by keeping our word one day at a time.

Congratulations Ryan. And thank you.

awesome on 4 bills keep you head up this was a good read proud of you IG2H!!

Awesome job IG2H. Well done.

[traumagnet]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

400 days ago you and I were just beginning a journey that neither of us was anticipating. We both knew we needed to quit. We were both weak and very fucked up. You and a handful of others helped drag me along kicking and yelling, and together one day at a time things slowly got better. And better.

There are people reading this that are saying bullshit. It won't ever get better. This hell that I am in won't ever improve. Well... It does. It took you a while to get to this point, Ryan. I remember us talking around 300 when you were headed out to the deer stands and you were a nervous wreck. Remember jacking up roll those days? lol. But, just like in shawshank redemption, you have broken free. Never forget where you were 400 days ago. Because, we won't ever go through that a grin by keeping our word one day at a time.

Congratulations Ryan. And thank you.

awesome on 4 bills keep you head up this was a good read proud of you IG2H!!

[worktowin]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

400 days ago you and I were just beginning a journey that neither of us was anticipating. We both knew we needed to quit. We were both weak and very fucked up. You and a handful of others helped drag me along kicking and yelling, and together one day at a time things slowly got better. And better.

There are people reading this that are saying bullshit. It won't ever get better. This hell that I am in won't ever improve. Well... It does. It took you a while to get to this point, Ryan. I remember us talking around 300 when you were headed out to the deer stands and you were a nervous wreck. Remember jacking up roll those days? lol. But, just like in shawshank redemption, you have broken free. Never forget where you were 400 days ago. Because, we won't ever go through that a grin by keeping our word one day at a time.

Congratulations Ryan. And thank you.

[Diesel2112]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

Slow clap

[jake frawley]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

Yes ! Ryan is the man! Great job bro. You are inspiring. I appreciate your example.

[Scowick65]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

Very well done indeed!

[RAZD611]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

Well Done Sir!!!

[brettlees]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.

Congratulations you deserve to soak it in. Your posts frequently impact others in ways you prod ably don't see- I know because I get a lot from them. Keep it up, and thanks for this excellent post today. I'm moved in a big way.

[Nickald]

400 days.  WOW!  I am truly beside myself.  I love this quitting shit.
 
Many years ago I thought “I can quit anytime I want”.  A few decades later, after thousands of discarded partially used tins, I thought, “I am never going to get away from this shit”.  “It is too hard”.  “I cannot quit”.  “It is just this one vice, it’s OK”.  And so on and so on.  Well it wasn’t OK.  Nicotine is a liar and a thief.  I have grown closer to my wife and my kids in these last 400 days than I could have ever imagined.  I did not realize the degree to which my addiction was a barrier to my happiness.  It made me so selfish.  Wish I had quit sooner.  But that is the past.
 
I sat next to a guy at my son’s basketball game yesterday.  He was a dad from the opposing team.  He had a mega wad of Grizzly wintergreen in the whole game, and……………….. he was not spitting.  YUCK!  I saw him pack it in the parking lot and damn it if he didn’t sit right down next to me.  I remember being that guy.

I reminisced. 

I remembered the pain.
 
I remembered the shame.
  
I remembered the deceit.
 
I remembered the hopelessness and the emptiness.
 
I remembered the defeat and failed quits.
 
I could never use enough to feel like I didn’t want more.  And so it is with addiction
. 
For months and months after quitting I used to envy people when I watched them use nicotine.  I remember longing for it as I watched them.  Those feelings of envy and longing are now DEAD to me.  Now I feel only pity for those people.

I feel thankful to be free today.  There are days when I think I am done with this site.  As if the site served its purpose and now I am “truly free”.

Lies!!  Those thoughts are dangerous.  Addiction is forever.  I know this.  I am vulnerable.  I am human.  I need support.  I need reminders.  I need tools.  I need all of you.  And I am OK with that.
 
I told this guy, (above) about KTC.  I told him that if he ever wants to be free, it can be done.  He told me to fuck off.  And I am OK with that.  You never know the power of your words though, and of your example.  Mighty oak trees begin as tiny acorns.  You never know.

Here is my roll post for today.  IG2H.  400. No nicotine today.  I leave you with these words from a wise quitter.  I feel compelled to pull this one out and re-read it today.  Thank you Skoal Monster.  This particular post changed my life and gave my quit a fighting chance.  I hope I can do the same for someone else someday.


SKOAL MONSTER:
Wisdom I have accepted

This shit is forever. It's a scar that will fade, but never heal. I will always be an addict. I fully expect to crave a dip while I'm laying in my death bed, and I'm going to fucking smile, because I still won't give in.

If I forget addiction is forever, I'll eventually cave. Of that I am certain.

The number of days I have accumulated has nothing to do with the strength of my quit. That strength comes from understanding the addiction, and from the strength of my promise.

The only day of any importance is today. Today I will be quit. I always swore I'd quit tomorrow, Tomorrow never seemed to come. When Quitting I do it today. Tomorrow is a dream, the past a memory, I can only control now, and right now I'm choosing quit.

The memory of how bad I truly wanted to quit is stronger than my desire to start again. I hold that memory close, it's a shield against my own bullshit.

Chewing a neurotoxic weed that hi-jacked my bodies feel good chemical producing ability never did anything positive for me. It was never a crutch, just an anchor.

It's a decision, so simple and yet so hard. But thats all it is. A choice. I made that choice, and now I will live with it.

The daily decision to quit becomes easier and easier as time passes. But that doesn't mean I'm cured. Remember, this shit is forever.

The hardest part of quitting is the first step. It was the day you REALLY decided to try. That day took me years to get to. It is so much easier to stay quit than to decide to quit. Don't throw that away, you may never get here again.

When you think about giving in, think about what it took to get here. Your about to throw all that away. You don't take one step back. You physically and neurologically start from zero. This isn't cheating on a diet, it's all in everyday. There truly is no just one.

All that being said, I still come here to remind myself I am an addict. I come here to try to help guide who I can through the door. I can't save anybody but me, but I can shine a light on the path. I strongly encourage you to stick around, The HOF is a milestone, not a destination. There is no cure and you will not ride a rainbow unicorn on day 101. The funk will hit you again, but with less power and more and more time in between. Most days I never think about any of this. Most days I don't even think about dipping or smoking. Sometimes months go by without even a passing urge. You'd trade me hard cash to feel this kind of quit. All you gotta do is keep putting up plus ones and you'll get here. You'll look back and wonder what the big deal was, and kick yourself for not doing it sooner. But don't ever forget the price you paid to get to that point, and don't ever believe that you are cured. As much as it sucks, addiction is forever.”

Excellent post. Thank you and congrats on your 400 days!

Congratulations got 2.

Awesome! Excellent!

Congrats on 400.