301 today and feeling pretty accomplished.
I am now one month into the archery deer season and am getting by fine without dip. So many of my other quit attempts were foiled when deer season came around. The addict logic in my head would always say, "screw it, you can always quit after hunting season is over". Well in my neck of the woods hunting starts in Sept and goes until Jan 1st. A quarter of the year.
First trip was about 6 hours south in Southern IN. I tortured myself mentally for weeks before the trip about how hard it was going to be. The solo car ride was a challenge but I conquered it easily thanks to some chatty quitters. I was somewhat troubled because I still had this nagging feeling that I wanted dip and I was missing out on something by abstaining from it. I know better, but that is how I felt. I didnt get an opportunity at a worthy buck but I did shoot a good looking 2 1/2 year old doe for the owner of my lease.
Second trip was just a short one to deer lease in Battlecreek, MI. I was worried about this one primarily because all of my lease partners are firefighters and they all chew crazy amounts of dip just like I used to. I am new to the lease and not particularly close to any of them but, this was set to be my first time around a huge crowd of users. Well that one turned out fine also, although I stayed quite solo and really had minimal contact with the dippers except one trip to local diner after the hunt. One guy flipped me his tin of Grizzly because he recalled I used the same brand. I slid it back across the table and simply said I dont do that shit anymore. He had a shocked and surprised look on his face as he said, "Yeah, I need to quit too". I told him to check out KTC and call me if he has any questions.
I returned home last night from a 3rd trip. This was an 11th annual camping trip to a little property near Jonesville, MI that I share with 2 very close friends. One of them happens to be a big time dipper. I am not proud of the fact that I really introduced him to this foul addiction 11 years when we started hunting together. He was just a once in a while kind of user prior to meeting me. I dont really know why, but it is this trip that I was losing sleep over. Outside of hunting season we dont talk very frequently but I did tell him over the summer that I had quit. His response was "yeah OK, we will see how long that one lasts". Well the first night after the hunt I learned some incredible news. Sitting around a bonfire having a few beers I noticed he was not packing his usual lip full. It turns our that he decided to quit dipping also about a month ago. He said screw it, if Ryan can do it, I can do it. He said he was also worried about hunt camp and how his use might influence me. No KTC, no NRT, no wellbutrin. He just dumped it and said done. I am so damn happy and proud of this guy. Also a bit jealous that it seemed so easy for him.
The rest of the weekend was amazing. I didnt see many bucks but was able to get an arrow into two fine looking does for the freezer. This October has been monumental in my quit. I am doing something without dip that my addict brain has always told me I couldnt do. Even as I started going thru the motions of hunting and preparation, my addict brain was tellling me, you may be able to do it, but you wont enjoy it as much. Addiction is a bitch, she still tries to lie and lure. Thanks to this site, her efforts are now futile. As far not enjoying it as much, completely false, I am having the greatest hunting season I have ever had. The freedom of being quit is allowing me to notice things I have never noticed. To see things I have never seen. To smell things I have never smelled. Just to be out there and experience nature without the influence of nicotine. It seemed like all things were new again. I know now that experiencing and enjoying the outdoors has NOTHING to do with dipping. It never did.
Time heals all wounds as they say. For the last 3 months I had myself psyched out because of was fearful about how badly I was going to "want it". Well my little epiphany was completed when my newly quit friend reclined in the camp chair and put his feet up after a long day of deer hunting and said, "damn a dip sounds great right no doesn't it?" After a brief silence, I said "fuck no it doesn't, I would rather suck on a cat turd and drink skunk piss than have a dip right now". It was probably the first time in 300 days that no single part of me, not one once of my mind or body, craved or reminised or anything remoted related.
If you are just starting out in this quit, stick around, it gets so much better. If you are a hunter, be safe out there, and don't spit in my woods, that shit is nasty.
Ryan
