402
400 days ago I dumped you. I remember it vividly. I pulled you out of the map-compartment of my car, dashed in the December sunlight to a trashcan and tossed you. I had no quit plan. I had no clue. There was no farewell speech. There was no drama. I simply tossed you and drove away.
You, however, had a plan. You executed it relentlessly. You kept me up at night. When I did sleep you played nightmares. You were there every time I got in the car. I saw you at the gas station. You sat by me on the couch. You showed up every time my wife left the house. You accompanied me all day at work and hopped in the car for my commute home. You did not go quietly; you were constantly whispering in my ear.
3 weeks into my quit I joined KTC. Remember how pissed you were? When I posted roll you knew this was a game changer. I was playing to win. I now had access to knowledge. I had access to a plan. I had access to support. I was greeted immediately by Ready, Greg, Mike A, and Banner. Oh, I remember. You threw a big fit. You gave me rage, cravings, fatigue, the fog, stupors, headaches and sore throats.
As time passed I began to realize you were the devil. I realized that something that makes you feel so bad when you refrain from using it canÂ’t be all that good. I began to hate you. I mean really really hate you. No more reminiscing of the old times. No nostalgia. So, of course, you threw a big fit. You gave me depression, the blahs and the blues.
This meant war. Game on. I now had a purpose. I was not satisfied just to dump you. I wanted to wreck every other relationship you had. Every relationship. I would wait for new quitters on the boards. I took great pride in pointing out your lies. I enjoyed destroying your grip on others. That is how I met folks like Corn, Miles, Peace, Rocket, Dante, LLCope, Tazz, Luby and Poker just to name a few.
At day 400, your fits are far and few between. They are no longer class 5 hurricanes. At day 400, my greatest challenge is to simply remember who I am. I am not a unique and special butterfly; I am a drug addict.
Thank you to Souliman, Ready, Chewie, 30, Greg, Luke, Mike A, drome, TCOPE, Show, Mattyc, gmann, J2B, NOLAQ, ODAAT, Corn, Miles, Peace, Rocket, Rodog, Redog, Dante, Cope, Tazz, Ag, Luby, Parputt, Mjollinir and others I simply fail to name.
