My good cave

[Wt57]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

Please tell me I didn't just read casual mentions about not posting every day? Wouldn't expect this from you two quitters. Batting 1.000 is the only way. I'm 855 for 855...like fuck. Every damn day.

I'm not a 100% poster, but I'm also not advocating to not post roll. 711-0 against the bitch and damn proud of it.

Just want to see you here every day big Diesel...that's all I'm saying. For the record....I'm actually 856 for 856. I have to track days by other quitters...aka Cbird minus 11.

Can't get rid of me. I'm like the clap, I ain't going nowhere.

I was a 100% poster for a year and a half and I'm not advocating anyone not posting roll. I've been active for over two years now, just a little less than 100 days behind you coach and respect your quit and your activity outside of posting roll. I find myself learning to live life without KTC on a daily basis and for me some day down the road I plan to be able to gain the strength to resist the temptations. Until that day comes I will post roll frequently, maybe not daily but I have tools that are working for me. Of the thousands that quit posting at 100 days very few probably stay clean, for those that quit posting after 1 year I'm sure the % is better. For WT I'm far from ready to fool myself into thinking I'm ready to be weaned. I had two previous pauses of 3+ years each. Does that mean I'm as susceptible of caving now as I was in 1982 or 1995? No, I'm a different person, have different reasons for quitting and have tools I never had then. Am I cocky in saying I don't post daily? No, I'm just telling my story and expressing my feelings about my quit. Most of my tools to stay quit have been gained from KTC and my friends here but not all of them. I found an addiction recovery group (12 step) almost a year ago and I attend these meetings weekly with my wife. This group has become a very important part of my quit, these addicts are in my community and we share more than just addictions.
I find that the things I did in the past to pay forward the strength I received from the likes of you Coach are being filled by many strong quitters. The cycle of quitting, gaining confidence, paying forward your quit and gaining the ability to adjust to living life nicotine free is great to watch. The events that lead me to post this thread initially was one of those moments that reminded me of my addiction and my vulnerability. But I was also reminded of why I'm quit, where I've come from, what I need to do to remain quit and all those that have influenced my life this past 2+ years.

[Diesel2112]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

Please tell me I didn't just read casual mentions about not posting every day? Wouldn't expect this from you two quitters. Batting 1.000 is the only way. I'm 855 for 855...like fuck. Every damn day.

I'm not a 100% poster, but I'm also not advocating to not post roll. 711-0 against the bitch and damn proud of it.

Just want to see you here every day big Diesel...that's all I'm saying. For the record....I'm actually 856 for 856. I have to track days by other quitters...aka Cbird minus 11.

Can't get rid of me. I'm like the clap, I ain't going nowhere.

[derv88]

This is an incredible story and an inspirational thread. Thank you all.

[Coach Steve]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

Please tell me I didn't just read casual mentions about not posting every day? Wouldn't expect this from you two quitters. Batting 1.000 is the only way. I'm 855 for 855...like fuck. Every damn day.

I'm not a 100% poster, but I'm also not advocating to not post roll. 711-0 against the bitch and damn proud of it.

Just want to see you here every day big Diesel...that's all I'm saying. For the record....I'm actually 856 for 856. I have to track days by other quitters...aka Cbird minus 11.

[Diesel2112]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

Please tell me I didn't just read casual mentions about not posting every day? Wouldn't expect this from you two quitters. Batting 1.000 is the only way. I'm 855 for 855...like fuck. Every damn day.

I'm not a 100% poster, but I'm also not advocating to not post roll. 711-0 against the bitch and damn proud of it.

[Coach Steve]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

Please tell me I didn't just read casual mentions about not posting every day? Wouldn't expect this from you two quitters. Batting 1.000 is the only way. I'm 855 for 855...like fuck. Every damn day.

[Diesel2112]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

Great post, as usual.

I can relate as I sneak up on two years. I find myself slacking on the role posting, but am also hardly thinking about dip, and I Fucking love it!!!

I feel guilty at times that I'm not posting roll every day, nor am I trying to help as many new quitters as I once did. However, it feels pretty damn good to finally be rolling through life without carrying such a heavy ass sandbag on my shoulders.

Quit on...

[brettlees]

I quit with you today Wt57, you are an inspiration to us all.

^^^ X2

[Thumblewort]

I quit with you today Wt57, you are an inspiration to us all.

[Raider]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had my last molar on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

2years quit and 5500 posts. That's why this works. Involvement. The mind is a wonderful thing but it also is our biggest enemy. I have read quite a bit of your posts in here and can say that you also inspire me to stay quit. Keep on quitting.

[Wt57]

Day 774
It's been quite some time since I recorded my quit activity, so here is a quick update. I've been cruising along not even thinking about dip most days, finding myself slacking off at posting roll. I'm still an addict and always will be but I have a good stock of tools in my box to fight the temptations. Today I woke up after a wild dip dream and posted roll. The dream brought me back into reality that I'm always vulnerable. I also had another reminder yesterday, I had one of my last 2 molars on the bottom pulled. Every time I eat I'm reminded of what dip did to me. It's pretty damn hard to eat without teeth.
Every time I see someone join KTC and introduce theirselves and then fail to post roll I think of my 40+ years of not truly understanding what I was dealing with. Nicotine addiction is very powerful, however it's not more powerful than a motivated addict that wants to quit and has the tools (and uses them). I always wanted to quit but not as bad as I wanted to satisfy my craving. The realization that I was completely out of control and that I could never quit on my own lead me to beginning the climb from rock bottom.
Living nicotine free is awesome but that is just the beginning; learning to live that life doesn't happen automatically. Most of us never lived any part of our adult lives without nicotine. For me I feel that even after 2 years of being nicotine free I'm just beginning to understand and adjust to my new life.

[Its_Got2Happen]

Congrats on 2 yrs WT. I am glad you are here. Keep it up.

[Bigbob]

WT good for you man. 34 days in, I can't imagine what 2 years is going to be like. You give me hope and excitement for a better future though sir. congratulations!

[Bombero]

After 500 days I went to an addiction recovery meeting last night. It was a general addiction meeting based on AA 12 step. As I sat in the meeting surrounded by a drug dealing addict, alcoholics and those with eating disorders I caught myself comparing one addiction to another. Is my addiction less offensive because its legal? Is their addiction less understandable, because they are so foolish for not recognizing how stupid their actions are? Dammit, how can I be so damn stupid! Haven't I learned anything over the past year! I am exactly like every other addict out there, a slave to an action or substance. Are some addictions easier to gain control of? Well, hell yes! My addiction is nicotine and I'd find making myself puck really easy to overcome but the addict with a eating disorder has every bit as difficult time controlling their actions as I have had. We each have our own individual weaknesses and strengths. I still can't believe how I sat there and had those judgmental thoughts about another's addiction. After thinking about it all day I've come to the conclusion that my addicted mind that has been trying to drag me back towards slavery on a regular basis found a way to minimize my addiction by making those other addicts addiction seem so much worse than my own. That is complete bullshit, for me I am a recovering alcoholic of 33+ years and a recovering nicotine addict of 500+ days and my addictions are mine (they are MY weaknesses). Who am I to judge another. I still can't believe I (a dumb ass that use to suck on ground up rotten stinking weeds with brown drool running out the corners of his mouth) judged my addiction less offensive than someone else's. 'bang head' 'bang head'

An addict is an addict!

I didn't know your story, but I read through the thread. You have LOTS of gems, but this one really woke me up. I deal with addicts regularly, but looked at them with some twisted moral superiority BS... until I found ktc and quit. But for the grace of God, I would have picked up a habit that killed me in months or years instead of decades - I'm no better than any other addict because I am an addict.

Thank you for staying involved - reading your story killed any remaining justification to cave still hiding in the back of my head. Stay quit

ok, quote level = novice. The original quote is, of course, Wt57, I believe from '12

[Bombero]

After 500 days I went to an addiction recovery meeting last night. It was a general addiction meeting based on AA 12 step. As I sat in the meeting surrounded by a drug dealing addict, alcoholics and those with eating disorders I caught myself comparing one addiction to another. Is my addiction less offensive because its legal? Is their addiction less understandable, because they are so foolish for not recognizing how stupid their actions are? Dammit, how can I be so damn stupid! Haven't I learned anything over the past year! I am exactly like every other addict out there, a slave to an action or substance. Are some addictions easier to gain control of? Well, hell yes! My addiction is nicotine and I'd find making myself puck really easy to overcome but the addict with a eating disorder has every bit as difficult time controlling their actions as I have had. We each have our own individual weaknesses and strengths. I still can't believe how I sat there and had those judgmental thoughts about another's addiction. After thinking about it all day I've come to the conclusion that my addicted mind that has been trying to drag me back towards slavery on a regular basis found a way to minimize my addiction by making those other addicts addiction seem so much worse than my own. That is complete bullshit, for me I am a recovering alcoholic of 33+ years and a recovering nicotine addict of 500+ days and my addictions are mine (they are MY weaknesses). Who am I to judge another. I still can't believe I (a dumb ass that use to suck on ground up rotten stinking weeds with brown drool running out the corners of his mouth) judged my addiction less offensive than someone else's. 'bang head' 'bang head'

An addict is an addict!

I didn't know your story, but I read through the thread. You have LOTS of gems, but this one really woke me up. I deal with addicts regularly, but looked at them with some twisted moral superiority BS... until I found ktc and quit. But for the grace of God, I would have picked up a habit that killed me in months or years instead of decades - I'm no better than any other addict because I am an addict.

Thank you for staying involved - reading your story killed any remaining justification to cave still hiding in the back of my head. Stay quit