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Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #34 on: May 25, 2012, 02:10:00 PM »
My thoughts on dip:

It's amazing at how the major tobacco companies have made dippers out to be this "elite group" of "real men"...

I got to thinking about my boss, who dips skoal wintergreen. If I had known 93 days ago, I would have instantly felt some sort of invisible bond with him. There would have been that underlying tone of "Yeah dude, we're a couple of badasses and these other idiots don't know what they're missing".

I felt that way with anybody with the ring in their pocket. It didn't matter if I knew them or not, I just knew that they were cool. We would get along. Even more so if they dipped copenhagen, because the rest of you dippers are pussies.

I can't tell you how many people would say "Oh. No, I'm not man enough to dip cope. I'll stay with my kodiak apple." Or some nasty shit, and I would swell up with pride because I felt like I was more of a man than that dude. Well, it's ALL NASTY, and I was nothing compared to the man I am now, having beaten this shit for 93 days!

One amazing thing about nic is that you really can't see the truth until you get on this side of the quit.

Trust me, trust us...life is better without nicotine!
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #33 on: April 24, 2012, 12:58:00 PM »
Days 57-60. I went camping for 3 nights. It's been a terribly long time since I've been camping without 3 things. Dip, cigars, and beer. Well, now it's been an incredibly short amount of time since I've been camping without those things.

Who would've thought that you could get your truck un stuck without what I used to consider to be "thinkers". I would like to ask, how exactly does nicotine and alcohol help you think? It doesn't. That was the child in my talking back then. What an idiot.

Well, I'm an idiot no more. I ventured out, camped, and had nothing but coffee and bottled IBC root beer to get me through and you know what? I really didn't even need that. It can be done. Man up kiddos.
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline wastepanel

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #32 on: April 03, 2012, 10:26:00 PM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
This is a really really bad night and I can't pinpoint ANYTHING to describe what it is. All I know for sure is that my lip is on fire, and I've been curled up in the fetal position for the last 15 minutes while my wife plans our anniversary evening tomorrow because I haven't done any planning at all. She has no idea what's going on and is trying to understand but can't and I don't blame her. I feel like shit because I can't give her anything to attribute this too. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Edit: This is ENTIRELY in my control and I will not let it ruin me or my family. Nicotine, you are a bitch. I will not let you control my body. Derek, get up off your sorry ass and get back to living!
I grounded myself about the same time.

It was brutal.

The nic bitch knows you are serious. She's thought you've been kidding this whole time, and now she's getting frustrated. She's thrown all her crazy at you, and it fucking hurts.

But you are doing the right thing my man.

Like I said, I grounded myself and laid there in a fetal position. I also wrote this:

Return of the living dead: Zombies and addiction

I posted here.

It passes my man. Call me if you need anything. I'm up working at the office again.
Logged
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2012, 09:10:00 PM »
This is a really really bad night and I can't pinpoint ANYTHING to describe what it is. All I know for sure is that my lip is on fire, and I've been curled up in the fetal position for the last 15 minutes while my wife plans our anniversary evening tomorrow because I haven't done any planning at all. She has no idea what's going on and is trying to understand but can't and I don't blame her. I feel like shit because I can't give her anything to attribute this too. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Edit: This is ENTIRELY in my control and I will not let it ruin me or my family. Nicotine, you are a bitch. I will not let you control my body. Derek, get up off your sorry ass and get back to living!
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline Suck-It

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2012, 08:47:00 PM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
Day 40 - Recognized early frustration symptoms and removed myself from my budget meeting with my wife. We were in good communication about it the whole time (crucial) and I was able to calm down and play with my daughter before I ever got really stirred up. SUCCESS!

On another note, I started mixing a little workout routine into playing on the floor with the kiddo. While she was climbing all over me, I just lifted my legs 3 inches off the floor, then played a "peek a boo" game with pushups and then threw in some planking (which I always thought was gay, until I tried it). I also want to mix in some stroller runs on a daily basis. I gotta knock some of this fat off!
Good work. Things are definitely getting a little better every day. Stay on guard. Probably the worst part of this entire quit has been the 10-12 pounds I have put on. I work out pretty regularly too but been substituting food, candy, whatever and the result has been 10-12 pounds. Just another reason to hate Copenshit and to never go back. Zero positives!!!
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Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #29 on: April 03, 2012, 08:12:00 AM »
Day 40 - Recognized early frustration symptoms and removed myself from my budget meeting with my wife. We were in good communication about it the whole time (crucial) and I was able to calm down and play with my daughter before I ever got really stirred up. SUCCESS!

On another note, I started mixing a little workout routine into playing on the floor with the kiddo. While she was climbing all over me, I just lifted my legs 3 inches off the floor, then played a "peek a boo" game with pushups and then threw in some planking (which I always thought was gay, until I tried it). I also want to mix in some stroller runs on a daily basis. I gotta knock some of this fat off!
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline carumba10

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2012, 09:24:00 AM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
Quote from: carumba10
How much and how often do you run ? That is one of the reasons for my quit. been running for 4 years, not getting any better and was wondering if the dip had anything to do with it.

Too early for me to tell after 11 days if my running has improved.
Actually, I don't run at all. I've been trying to though. I've gained a ton of weight over the past year and don't have a gym membership, so running is about all I've got. I just need to get out and do it. As for the 5k, I get conned into one about once or twice a year through work or the wife...I know, pathetic.

How far do you normally run? Any motivational tips?
We run 3-4 times a week between 5k - 14k each time. Still learning how to train properly.

Tips ? #1 for me is get some music. Something that inspires you or makes you feel good. Don't go too fast as a beginner. Common mistake. Run for 1 minute, walk for 1 minute. As you get better, change the ratio to more run less walk.

It's a bit of a grind for first 2-4 weeks, but eventually you will get out there on a sunny day, good music playing and you will hit your groove. You will feel like you can run forever.

I lost 26 pounds in a little over a year.
Logged
Quit Date: March 23 2012

I am Quit today. Tomorrow ?
Not impressed with rants from the 'Do As I Say Not As I Do' crowd.

Offline Suck-It

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #27 on: April 02, 2012, 08:45:00 AM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
The weekend of day 38 - 39:

I started coming down with something flu like on Friday afternoon. Not good considering we had committed to a 5k Saturday morning. I've been trying to stay down earlier in a sick period recently because I normally will ignore it and continue about my life until it gets so bad that I literally can't get out of bed. Not smart but I never claimed brilliance. So that combined with chasing the kid everywhere both days, I wasnÂ’t doing so hot most of the weekend.

Now that’s a great thing for any kind of craves, but a horrible thing for my extremely short temper. Surprisingly, everything went well all of Saturday and most of Sunday. Then Sunday evening, I go and interject my “perfect” opinion about our child’s schedule that is obviously way better than my wife’s, even though she spends all day every day with this beautiful child. Long story short, I ended up snapping, then her pregnant hormones kicked in and she starting crying. I don’t handle crying very well so I cussed myself and used the wall and front door as a punching bag for my head. Explain to me how that’s smart…

“I’m pissed so I’m gonna go hit my head on the door” Idiot.

I left the room quicker this time, cooled down quicker, apologized quicker, and everything was back to “normal” quicker so I see progress and I know that this time in our life is passing. I’m able to recognize what’s going on a lot faster and deal with it correctly.

I got to work this morning and sat down to read the Bible and was directed to James. Whether you believe in Christ or not, this will help, so listen up:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
-James 1:2-4

Of course, “Embrace the suck”! I bet some of ya’ll didn’t know ya’ll were being Biblical! Love this time! We are being tested! Out of any testing, no matter the subject, if we hold fast and weather the storm with a smile, we will come out of it stronger, more mature, and more complete. Every time I see that forehead shaped dent in the wall, I will smile and say, "thanks for making that so difficult nicotine, now I will NEVER return to you"

Carry on my brothers, and consider these trials pure joyÂ…
Love this. Great post and proud to be quit with you. Have a great day and Holy Week. I quit with you today.
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Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #26 on: April 02, 2012, 08:41:00 AM »
Quote from: carumba10
How much and how often do you run ? That is one of the reasons for my quit. been running for 4 years, not getting any better and was wondering if the dip had anything to do with it.

Too early for me to tell after 11 days if my running has improved.
Actually, I don't run at all. I've been trying to though. I've gained a ton of weight over the past year and don't have a gym membership, so running is about all I've got. I just need to get out and do it. As for the 5k, I get conned into one about once or twice a year through work or the wife...I know, pathetic.

How far do you normally run? Any motivational tips?
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline carumba10

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2012, 08:17:00 AM »
How much and how often do you run ? That is one of the reasons for my quit. been running for 4 years, not getting any better and was wondering if the dip had anything to do with it.

Too early for me to tell after 11 days if my running has improved.
Logged
Quit Date: March 23 2012

I am Quit today. Tomorrow ?
Not impressed with rants from the 'Do As I Say Not As I Do' crowd.

Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2012, 07:55:00 AM »
The weekend of day 38 - 39:

I started coming down with something flu like on Friday afternoon. Not good considering we had committed to a 5k Saturday morning. I've been trying to stay down earlier in a sick period recently because I normally will ignore it and continue about my life until it gets so bad that I literally can't get out of bed. Not smart but I never claimed brilliance. So that combined with chasing the kid everywhere both days, I wasnÂ’t doing so hot most of the weekend.

Now that’s a great thing for any kind of craves, but a horrible thing for my extremely short temper. Surprisingly, everything went well all of Saturday and most of Sunday. Then Sunday evening, I go and interject my “perfect” opinion about our child’s schedule that is obviously way better than my wife’s, even though she spends all day every day with this beautiful child. Long story short, I ended up snapping, then her pregnant hormones kicked in and she starting crying. I don’t handle crying very well so I cussed myself and used the wall and front door as a punching bag for my head. Explain to me how that’s smart…

“I’m pissed so I’m gonna go hit my head on the door” Idiot.

I left the room quicker this time, cooled down quicker, apologized quicker, and everything was back to “normal” quicker so I see progress and I know that this time in our life is passing. I’m able to recognize what’s going on a lot faster and deal with it correctly.

I got to work this morning and sat down to read the Bible and was directed to James. Whether you believe in Christ or not, this will help, so listen up:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
-James 1:2-4

Of course, “Embrace the suck”! I bet some of ya’ll didn’t know ya’ll were being Biblical! Love this time! We are being tested! Out of any testing, no matter the subject, if we hold fast and weather the storm with a smile, we will come out of it stronger, more mature, and more complete. Every time I see that forehead shaped dent in the wall, I will smile and say, "thanks for making that so difficult nicotine, now I will NEVER return to you"

Carry on my brothers, and consider these trials pure joy
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2012, 08:04:00 PM »
Quote from: Suck-It
Quote from: dgonseaux
Quote from: Suck-It
Very glad that God has given me the opportunity to quit before cancer set in.
Amen to that!

Next step. Work off some of this extra weight before obesity sets in...
I hear you bro. Working out hard to fight it, but eating harder to kill the craves. It is getting better though. Wish I liked cardio more - love the weight room but hard to get out there and run. Starting Insanity up next week. That is some tough shit if you have never tried it.
I just can't bring myself to get out there and run right now. If I could afford a gym membership, I'd go at lunch. I could at least start walking 10 flights of stairs at lunch if I could only find where I put that motivation...

I haven't ever tried the insanity program, but I do have P90x and that is plenty for me. I just can't find time to do it with this one year old running around. Once my wife has this next one and heals up, I won't have to do quite so much around here and I'll be able to workout at home...hopefully.
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline Suck-It

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2012, 07:34:00 PM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
Quote from: Suck-It
Very glad that God has given me the opportunity to quit before cancer set in.
Amen to that!

Next step. Work off some of this extra weight before obesity sets in...
I hear you bro. Working out hard to fight it, but eating harder to kill the craves. It is getting better though. Wish I liked cardio more - love the weight room but hard to get out there and run. Starting Insanity up next week. That is some tough shit if you have never tried it.
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Offline dgonseaux

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2012, 04:28:00 PM »
Quote from: Suck-It
Very glad that God has given me the opportunity to quit before cancer set in.
Amen to that!

Next step. Work off some of this extra weight before obesity sets in...
Logged
Nic Quit: February 23rd, 2012
Alchohol Quit: July 27, 2011
KTP Quit: January 5th, 2013

You are more than the choices that you?ve made
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes
You are more than the problems you create
You?ve been remade

-Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

It's worth the pain, God's in the rain. It's not to late to start again, it's worth the pain.
So hold on tonight, there's grace. When you're at wits end, begging for it, He'll take you by the hand. There's grace.

-Disciple - Worth the Pain

Phillipians 4:13

Offline Suck-It

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Re: My Quit Diary
« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2012, 01:42:00 PM »
Quote from: dgonseaux
Quote from: Bean
That is good shit there!  Congrats on your choice, brother.  Embrace the suck...it is the feeling of your recovery.  Read the Tom  Jenny Kern story (click on KilltheCan.org at the top and you'll see the link to their story at the bottom right). 

Depressed?  Heck, you GET to feel like this...it is a blessing.  I love the idea of taking a few minutes to be with the Lord.  That is exactly right...you're not in this alone.  You have taken the first step, let us help you with the rest.  That's what we're here for.  Post, rage, read...whatever you need, we're here for that.   

Nobody gets away from the Nic Bitch for the asking.  There are no short cuts to freedom.  I used to look at how many folks were on this site and realize that every damn one of us went through, or is going through, the same thing.  It is pretty cool, if you think about it...a whole web-site full of people saving their own lives one day at a time.  Pretty cool. huh? 

It doesn't matter how much money you have, what color you are, who your daddy is.  And, nobody can do this for you.  You simply commit to quit and earn your freedom one day at a time.  Depression is a serious condition.  Don't ignore it and don't hesitate to seek medical help.  But try to see it for what it is...another hurdle to get to freedom.  You can do this, brother!!!
Do I cry at weddings? No

Do I cry at funerals? No (screwed up right?)

Do I cry when I hit a squirrel on the road? No

Did I cry when I read the Kern's story? Absolutely. I don't know that I would have before I had kids but...it's all about perspective. If more people would document their stories, the anti tobacco movement would be so much further along. I know that has to be tough doing that, but it helps more than words can describe.

Thanks so much for your support. I haven't been depressed in years, and it only lasted for a full day yesterday. I spent some time in the word, put on some praise music, and went to a men's Bible study this morning and haven't had any more issues as of yet. If/when I realize what's going on, taking a huge step back and looking at the big picture is essential. I've invested 35 days into 60 or 70 years of life. How does that compare? That's right. It doesn't. Man up and fight through.
Really glad to be quit with you. A lot in common. My wife would tell you we are a lot alike - she is constantly trying to drag emotions out of me. The Jenny Kern story is STRONG, POWERFUL STUFF. I have 4 kids and reading that story you can't help but put yourself in that situation - what if that was me?!?!?! Very emotional, very REAL.

I have quit many times like all of us - what is different now, first and foremost I started this quit with including God. I have never done that before. I pray for his strength, I text messaged a good friend who is a Monsignor at our old catholic church my promise and asked for his prayers. My wife reached out to family and told them to pray (she did it without me knowing) but I do believe that has truly helped. This site has also had a huge impact on my quit - I can't say enough about it.

One of the biggest factors is my kids are finally old enough to ask about it. Dad, why do you always eat that stuff. Don't you know it can kill you. My oldest daughter, who is in 1st grade, has learned about smoking and chewing in school - she had all the info and finally put 2 and 2 together on what the shit was that I put in my mouth. Well, that crushed me. And then reading the Jenny Kern story really punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me.

So glad to be quit and glad to be quitting with all of you. Very glad that God has given me the opportunity to quit before cancer set in. I will quit for myself and I quit for my family. I know people say you can't quit for your kids, but my kids are me they are the best part of me so I do quit for my kids. I quit for me!!!
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