Author Topic: life choice  (Read 8445 times)

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Offline TommyNY

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Re: life choice
« Reply #67 on: December 24, 2011, 12:53:00 PM »
Quote from: CaseyG
Quote from: cdforecheck
The Road to 300 Days of Quitting

I probably have moments like all of you that are periods of disbelief.  Disbelief that I actually did it and took the first step to quit by doing what is both incredibly easy, not putting the shit in your mouth again, and doing what is incredibly hard, not putting the shit in your mouth again.  I have moments of disbelief that even when dipping seems like an option my respect for the folks here is strong enough to get me through those moments.  I have disbelief that I made it this far when everyone else kept telling me I could.  I know that craves can be handled but I have to be vigilant and mindful of everything I do.  I didn’t believe that craves could be overcome, I once thought it had to be fed.  I am in disbelief that while it does get easier to live without it, I haven’t had one day without either hard craves or the nibbling on the ear lobe from the bitch.  I am in disbelief that I am in this for the long haul, but I am.

Thanks again for all the support, I couldnÂ’t make it without you all.
You are the man CD. Awesome job.
Bump

Offline CaseyG

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Re: life choice
« Reply #66 on: May 12, 2010, 02:24:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
The Road to 300 Days of Quitting

I probably have moments like all of you that are periods of disbelief. Disbelief that I actually did it and took the first step to quit by doing what is both incredibly easy, not putting the shit in your mouth again, and doing what is incredibly hard, not putting the shit in your mouth again. I have moments of disbelief that even when dipping seems like an option my respect for the folks here is strong enough to get me through those moments. I have disbelief that I made it this far when everyone else kept telling me I could. I know that craves can be handled but I have to be vigilant and mindful of everything I do. I didnÂ’t believe that craves could be overcome, I once thought it had to be fed. I am in disbelief that while it does get easier to live without it, I havenÂ’t had one day without either hard craves or the nibbling on the ear lobe from the bitch. I am in disbelief that I am in this for the long haul, but I am.

Thanks again for all the support, I couldnÂ’t make it without you all.
You are the man CD. Awesome job.
QD 7/21/09 -- HOF 10/28/09 -- 15 YEARS 7/20/24

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #65 on: May 12, 2010, 01:47:00 PM »
The Road to 300 Days of Quitting

I probably have moments like all of you that are periods of disbelief. Disbelief that I actually did it and took the first step to quit by doing what is both incredibly easy, not putting the shit in your mouth again, and doing what is incredibly hard, not putting the shit in your mouth again. I have moments of disbelief that even when dipping seems like an option my respect for the folks here is strong enough to get me through those moments. I have disbelief that I made it this far when everyone else kept telling me I could. I know that craves can be handled but I have to be vigilant and mindful of everything I do. I didnÂ’t believe that craves could be overcome, I once thought it had to be fed. I am in disbelief that while it does get easier to live without it, I havenÂ’t had one day without either hard craves or the nibbling on the ear lobe from the bitch. I am in disbelief that I am in this for the long haul, but I am.

Thanks again for all the support, I couldnÂ’t make it without you all.
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline nkt

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Re: life choice
« Reply #64 on: January 17, 2010, 02:46:00 PM »
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: mule21
Quote from: Smokeyg
Quote from: niwot
Quote from: cdforecheck
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
I like the phrase "I AM" it sets an intention and guides your actions.

Hoping and Trying are for dreamers and dippers.

We dont' dip, we quit!

Good job Cd!!
Congrats on 1/2 year CD!
nice 'clap' 'clap'
'40'
Congrats on the half year! There's no "hoping" or "trying" involved in your quit, just a whole lot of "doing".

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: life choice
« Reply #63 on: January 17, 2010, 01:09:00 PM »
Quote from: mule21
Quote from: Smokeyg
Quote from: niwot
Quote from: cdforecheck
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
I like the phrase "I AM" it sets an intention and guides your actions.

Hoping and Trying are for dreamers and dippers.

We dont' dip, we quit!

Good job Cd!!
Congrats on 1/2 year CD!
nice 'clap' 'clap'
'40'
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline mule

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Re: life choice
« Reply #62 on: January 17, 2010, 01:06:00 PM »
Quote from: Smokeyg
Quote from: niwot
Quote from: cdforecheck
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
I like the phrase "I AM" it sets an intention and guides your actions.

Hoping and Trying are for dreamers and dippers.

We dont' dip, we quit!

Good job Cd!!
Congrats on 1/2 year CD!
nice 'clap' 'clap'

Offline Smokeyg

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Re: life choice
« Reply #61 on: January 17, 2010, 12:16:00 PM »
Quote from: niwot
Quote from: cdforecheck
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
I like the phrase "I AM" it sets an intention and guides your actions.

Hoping and Trying are for dreamers and dippers.

We dont' dip, we quit!

Good job Cd!!
Congrats on 1/2 year CD!

Offline niwot

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Re: life choice
« Reply #60 on: January 17, 2010, 11:39:00 AM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
I like the phrase "I AM" it sets an intention and guides your actions.

Hoping and Trying are for dreamers and dippers.

We dont' dip, we quit!

Good job Cd!!
There are 2 types of pain: the pain of DISCIPLINE and the pain of REGRET.

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #59 on: January 16, 2010, 10:52:00 PM »
i told you all that i hoped that this try would work... bull fucking shit...i AM MY QUIT and at 1/2 a year i am one determined mfer that i will not ever use again
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #58 on: December 25, 2009, 01:55:00 AM »
thanks for all the support and ass kickings, they were all well deserved. i forgot rule number 1 have a plan and it damn near cost me...i recommitted to using the tools i need like fake stuff for bad craves, i only have used maybe 2 full cans since i quit, i have the shit in my car for exactly that reason and i forgot it...i spent the last few days monitoring my behavior and craves and have found 4 distinct periods where craves present themselves so now i know where to avoid, when to get small (love the idea sm), use the phone full of numbers just by texting HELP I AM HAVING A MAJOR CRAVE! it has worked before, i am sharing these things because we all have felt weak and sometimes when we know that the regular posters post a problem we are not alone...long story short; faced on doozie of a crave/considered buying can but store sold out/posted about it my quit group. i've been beating myself up about the mistakes i made, i need to forgive myself for putting myself in jeopardy, i am still quit, my body is nicotine free and has been since july 17, 2009

just curious; if this was a victory it must have been a horrible fight cuz i feel miserable....
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: life choice
« Reply #57 on: December 23, 2009, 12:22:00 PM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
Quote from: CaseyG
Quote from: iuchewie
Quote from: cdforecheck
fuck...fuck...fuck...

ok, i am sitting at 150+, quits humming along using my fucking tools to keep the bitch at bay and wham

she fucking blind sides my ass at the checkout line at the grocery on saturday afternoon...closet thing ever to a cave(if their had been my brand there, sold out, i know i would have bought it, and most likely have used) i've had. now i sit here 3/4 days later the bitch has found a weakness and now i am working hard again, she won't shut the fuck up, the whole just one won't hurt and the damned little voice actually agreeing with her...

sm said to get small, i'm doing that, i will not let her win this battle, i only posted in my group from sat-to today, fuck that! big mistake...

to any noobs or wanna be quitters...there isn't a cure and i am still fighting, if i can fight this so can you..
You don't see it yet... but this is a good thing.

A little scare now and again keeps you on your toes. I've often said that I don't WANT to forget. People think I'm nuts for saying that but this is exactly why.

My quit nearly killed me. I'm never going back. If I've got to "pick at that scab" a little bit every day and remind myself that I'm an addict then so be it.

One thing did concern me though. Seems like fate was on your side by the fact that you brand was not in stock. What happened if it was? You said you most likely would have bought and used. What's your plan? When would it have gone into affect? Do you have phone numbers? If you need one let me know and you've got mine.

I can honestly say in all of my years here I've never heard of a time where a brother was on the phone with another or had even sent a text and STILL went through with a cave. The problem is you've got to be ready for that if it happens.
Quote
chewie's 3 step cave plan

Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.

step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet.  Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.

step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.

step 3: Call each of the 70+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.

P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Cd, I fight it to every so often as well. I have been using Chewie's method and it has worked so far. Never got past number 1.

Fight the Fight CD. We are with you. I know you have my number call me if you get into that situation again, brother.
chewie, you are absolutely right...i didn't think at that moment...i'd like to believe that the walk back to the car would have cleared my head but i honestly don't know...i still got work to do...i will beat this and will not use that crap again just gottta keep on my toes..thanks for the comments...yes i do have many numbers and that is part of what drives nuts about this particular crave...
cd- glad you DID choose to keep quit. When I said get small, I mean to quit in minutes and hours instead of days. I meant to guard your quit first and foremost and THEN worry about everything else. I think that your being vocal here really helps you, so don't stop that. I like Chewie's analogy about keeping the wound fresh. Go back and re-read some of your old posts, re- read the cancer and quitter stories, do what worked for you in the beginning when it was a minute by minute battle. I still have to do that.

Tools you have

1. There is no just one, there is that one AND 10,000 more that comes with it. We quit because the 10,000 weren't fun , they hurt and all the stuff that came with em hurt.

2. Phone numbers- enough said , at least send a text to a buddy and say your having a hard time

3. Chat

4. Do something else, anything else, just don't dip.


I hit the funk like a brick wall around 60 days. Again at 120, again at 200 , again 320, it hurt. Others have told me they did about the same. I notice the space between keeps getting bigger. I am pretty sure it will for you too.
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #56 on: December 22, 2009, 10:47:00 AM »
Quote from: CaseyG
Quote from: iuchewie
Quote from: cdforecheck
fuck...fuck...fuck...

ok, i am sitting at 150+, quits humming along using my fucking tools to keep the bitch at bay and wham

she fucking blind sides my ass at the checkout line at the grocery on saturday afternoon...closet thing ever to a cave(if their had been my brand there, sold out, i know i would have bought it, and most likely have used) i've had. now i sit here 3/4 days later the bitch has found a weakness and now i am working hard again, she won't shut the fuck up, the whole just one won't hurt and the damned little voice actually agreeing with her...

sm said to get small, i'm doing that, i will not let her win this battle, i only posted in my group from sat-to today, fuck that! big mistake...

to any noobs or wanna be quitters...there isn't a cure and i am still fighting, if i can fight this so can you..
You don't see it yet... but this is a good thing.

A little scare now and again keeps you on your toes. I've often said that I don't WANT to forget. People think I'm nuts for saying that but this is exactly why.

My quit nearly killed me. I'm never going back. If I've got to "pick at that scab" a little bit every day and remind myself that I'm an addict then so be it.

One thing did concern me though. Seems like fate was on your side by the fact that you brand was not in stock. What happened if it was? You said you most likely would have bought and used. What's your plan? When would it have gone into affect? Do you have phone numbers? If you need one let me know and you've got mine.

I can honestly say in all of my years here I've never heard of a time where a brother was on the phone with another or had even sent a text and STILL went through with a cave. The problem is you've got to be ready for that if it happens.
Quote
chewie's 3 step cave plan

Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.

step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet.  Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.

step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.

step 3: Call each of the 70+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.

P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Cd, I fight it to every so often as well. I have been using Chewie's method and it has worked so far. Never got past number 1.

Fight the Fight CD. We are with you. I know you have my number call me if you get into that situation again, brother.
chewie, you are absolutely right...i didn't think at that moment...i'd like to believe that the walk back to the car would have cleared my head but i honestly don't know...i still got work to do...i will beat this and will not use that crap again just gottta keep on my toes..thanks for the comments...yes i do have many numbers and that is part of what drives nuts about this particular crave...
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011

Offline CaseyG

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Re: life choice
« Reply #55 on: December 22, 2009, 10:25:00 AM »
Quote from: iuchewie
Quote from: cdforecheck
fuck...fuck...fuck...

ok, i am sitting at 150+, quits humming along using my fucking tools to keep the bitch at bay and wham

she fucking blind sides my ass at the checkout line at the grocery on saturday afternoon...closet thing ever to a cave(if their had been my brand there, sold out, i know i would have bought it, and most likely have used) i've had. now i sit here 3/4 days later the bitch has found a weakness and now i am working hard again, she won't shut the fuck up, the whole just one won't hurt and the damned little voice actually agreeing with her...

sm said to get small, i'm doing that, i will not let her win this battle, i only posted in my group from sat-to today, fuck that! big mistake...

to any noobs or wanna be quitters...there isn't a cure and i am still fighting, if i can fight this so can you..
You don't see it yet... but this is a good thing.

A little scare now and again keeps you on your toes. I've often said that I don't WANT to forget. People think I'm nuts for saying that but this is exactly why.

My quit nearly killed me. I'm never going back. If I've got to "pick at that scab" a little bit every day and remind myself that I'm an addict then so be it.

One thing did concern me though. Seems like fate was on your side by the fact that you brand was not in stock. What happened if it was? You said you most likely would have bought and used. What's your plan? When would it have gone into affect? Do you have phone numbers? If you need one let me know and you've got mine.

I can honestly say in all of my years here I've never heard of a time where a brother was on the phone with another or had even sent a text and STILL went through with a cave. The problem is you've got to be ready for that if it happens.
Quote
chewie's 3 step cave plan

Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.

step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet.  Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.

step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.

step 3: Call each of the 70+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.

P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Cd, I fight it to every so often as well. I have been using Chewie's method and it has worked so far. Never got past number 1.

Fight the Fight CD. We are with you. I know you have my number call me if you get into that situation again, brother.
QD 7/21/09 -- HOF 10/28/09 -- 15 YEARS 7/20/24

Offline chewie

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Re: life choice
« Reply #54 on: December 22, 2009, 10:00:00 AM »
Quote from: cdforecheck
fuck...fuck...fuck...

ok, i am sitting at 150+, quits humming along using my fucking tools to keep the bitch at bay and wham

she fucking blind sides my ass at the checkout line at the grocery on saturday afternoon...closet thing ever to a cave(if their had been my brand there, sold out, i know i would have bought it, and most likely have used) i've had. now i sit here 3/4 days later the bitch has found a weakness and now i am working hard again, she won't shut the fuck up, the whole just one won't hurt and the damned little voice actually agreeing with her...

sm said to get small, i'm doing that, i will not let her win this battle, i only posted in my group from sat-to today, fuck that! big mistake...

to any noobs or wanna be quitters...there isn't a cure and i am still fighting, if i can fight this so can you..
You don't see it yet... but this is a good thing.

A little scare now and again keeps you on your toes. I've often said that I don't WANT to forget. People think I'm nuts for saying that but this is exactly why.

My quit nearly killed me. I'm never going back. If I've got to "pick at that scab" a little bit every day and remind myself that I'm an addict then so be it.

One thing did concern me though. Seems like fate was on your side by the fact that you brand was not in stock. What happened if it was? You said you most likely would have bought and used. What's your plan? When would it have gone into affect? Do you have phone numbers? If you need one let me know and you've got mine.

I can honestly say in all of my years here I've never heard of a time where a brother was on the phone with another or had even sent a text and STILL went through with a cave. The problem is you've got to be ready for that if it happens.
Quote
chewie's 3 step cave plan

Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.

step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet.  Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.

step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.

step 3: Call each of the 70+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.

P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
"Every man dies... not every man really lives." - William Wallace

QD - 7.24.06 / HOF - 10.31.06 / 2nd - 2.08.07 / 3rd - 5.19.07 / 4th - 8.27.07 / 5th - 12.05.07 / 6th - 3.14.08 / 7th - 6.22.08 / 8th - 9.30.08 / 9th - 1.08.09 / Comma - 4.18.09 / 11th - 7.27.09 / 12th - 11.04.09 / 13th - 2.12.10 / 14th - 05.23.10 / 15th - 08.31.2010 / 16th - 12.9.10 / 17th - 3.19.11 / 18th - 6.27.11 / 19th - 10.5.11 / 2K - 1.13.12 / 21st - 4.22.12 / 22nd - 7.31.12 / 23rd - 11.8.12 / 24th - 2.16.13 / 25th - 5.27.13 / 26th - 9.4.13 / 27th - 12.12.13 / 28th - 3.24.14 / 29th - 7.1.14 / 3K - 10.9.14 / 31st - 1.17.15 / 32nd - 4.27.15 / 33rd - 8.5.15 / 34th - 9.13.15 / 35th - 2.21.16 / 36th - 5.31.16 / 37th - 9.8.16 / 38th - 12.17.16 / 39th - 3.27.17 / 4K - 7.5.17 / 41st - 10.13.17 / 42nd - 1.21.18 / 43rd - 5.1.18 / 44th - 8.9.18 / 45th - 11.17.18 / 46th - 2.25.19 / 47th - 6.5.19 / 48th - 9.13.19 / 49th - 12.22.19 / 5K - 4.1.20 / 51st - 7.9.20 / 52nd - 10.17.20 / 53rd - 1.25.21 / 54th - 5.5.21 / 55th - 8.13.21 / 56th - 11.21.21 / 57th - 3.1.22 / 58th - 6.9.22 / 59th - 9.17.22 / 6K - 12.26.22 / 61st - 4.5.23 / 62nd - 7.14.23 / 63rd - 10.22.23 / 64th - 1.20.24 / 65th - 5.9.24 / 66th - 8.17.24

Episode III: The Final Quit | 406 Northlane | ScareTissue.com

Offline cdforecheck

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Re: life choice
« Reply #53 on: December 22, 2009, 09:09:00 AM »
fuck...fuck...fuck...

ok, i am sitting at 150+, quits humming along using my fucking tools to keep the bitch at bay and wham

she fucking blind sides my ass at the checkout line at the grocery on saturday afternoon...closet thing ever to a cave(if their had been my brand there, sold out, i know i would have bought it, and most likely have used) i've had. now i sit here 3/4 days later the bitch has found a weakness and now i am working hard again, she won't shut the fuck up, the whole just one won't hurt and the damned little voice actually agreeing with her...

sm said to get small, i'm doing that, i will not let her win this battle, i only posted in my group from sat-to today, fuck that! big mistake...

to any noobs or wanna be quitters...there isn't a cure and i am still fighting, if i can fight this so can you..
Go Bucks! Quit Date: 12-23-2011