When I started this quit thing nearly 4 weeks ago I was hoping to quit. I actually said that in my introduction. I was so naïve and quite frankly I was scared. I was scared of failure and withdraw. The fear was real but this site helped me overcome it, those of you who helped know who you are and I thank you. I now know I am an addict and just one more dip and my ninja dipping ways will return. My relationship with my wife and children is more open and honest than ever in our marriage. This ugly bear is gone, no longer do I have to say let’s take your car because mine is dirty; meaning I got a spitter in there. Coming face to face with the fact that I am an addict was easier than I thought, and while withdraw was hell, I survived. Now it is the mind that works on me. I will not allow my mind to convince, trick, or sucker me back into this shit. I don’t have to be quit forever, just for today, so the battle isn’t forever. I love the fact that now I can drive by my “dealer’s” place and think about pulling in (yeah, I still think about making that right turn) and resist the bitch. I looked at this quit thing as a hope or a dream, now it’s the only choice I have as an addict. To control my life I must make the conscious decision each and every day to not use, some days and times are more difficult than others but I have earned that difficulty by being an addict. The struggle is what makes me powerful; failure will make me weak and a slave to nicotine again. Thanks to kill the can and all of you who have helped me reach this point and looking forward to resisting the nic bitch and all of her wiles with you all.
