Day 67 - Who Am I Ultimately Accountable To?I was having a good conversation with a vet in here. I appreciated him raising this issue. I started to respond to him, but thought it might be even better to post this for others to see because he raised an issue that is not his alone.
There are a few people who believe that I think that I am only accountable to myself and God as it relates to my quit. As IÂ’ve said before,
Turning away from dipping can be a struggle. For me as a Christian, it wasn't about me. It was about honoring God and being obedient to Him." People are putting their own spin/interpretation to words like that though. I understand that is going to happen. No one has really asked me to expand on much of it though. They have taken the time to attempt to expand on it for me and have misled themselves in the process. Most (which is a small group) talk indirectly about it or passive aggressively about it when they are angry at me. Sometimes, I stumble and get sucked into that back-and-forth garbage. Well today, a vet was the first person to bring it up to me more directly and specifically. I appreciate that. I don't mean for this to sound confrontational (because itÂ’s not), but I never said that I was ONLY accountable to myself and God. I donÂ’t recall talking about being accountable ONLY to myself. However, I did say (and stand by the notion) I am ULTIMATELY (not exclusively) accountable to God. Somehow people have interpreted that as if I think I am better than others (including other Christians) or that I donÂ’t need them or I donÂ’t support them. In actuality, I am simply submitting to God. I am putting Him first and above all. IÂ’m willing to take what comes with that.
Basically, I believe that we should lean MOSTLY (not exclusively) on a more reliable source and for me, that is God. It doesn't mean that KTC is bad or not useful. It is just acknowledging the limitations of being dependent on man. We are with fault and should not be anyoneÂ’s cornerstone. We can be shallow, prideful, and selfish at times. It's like my commitment to my church. God is ultimately my judge. Does that mean that I am in no way accountable to the body of Christ (my church and other Christians)? Absolutely not. However, I am ultimately accountable to God. The difference in the example of my church and KTC is that my church, ideally, is guided by God's word. My church is a group of people who are followers of Christ. They are more in alignment with my core responsibilities, values, beliefs that are grounded in being a follower of Christ. I am ultimately in existence to be a disciple of Christ and follow Him. Therefore, in the hypothetical case where my church is deviating from God's word, I will actually catch it and dissent. Why? Because I am ULTIMATELY guided and accountable to God's word and not the word of my church. I will always cross reference what I am being told with GodÂ’s word. My church is valuable as KTC is valuable. However, I am ultimately (not exclusively) accountable to God and His word.
At the end of the day, KTC does God’s work in many ways. I appreciate that. That is why I am here and contribute to maintaining and building this community. Additionally, it has been a great tool in helping me follow Christ more authentically. One way it has done this is that It has helped me “restore my temple.” Another way it has done this is by pushing me to be a better steward of the money, resources, and time that God has blessed me with (otherwise spent on dipping.) However, at one time, considering this community’s connect to my walk with Christ was an afterthought rather than a forethought. As a follower of Christ, I’m not supposed to follow KTC ways and then use my faith as a “lens to understand” what we do here. I am called to follow Christ and have that guide my actions and understanding of KTC. You see, it’s a fundamental difference in alignment. God is not the tool, KTC is.
Early on in my quit here, I’ve had to actually check myself and say, “Hey, you are being more disciplined about this quit then you are to the Lord on a daily basis. That needs to be realigned. He should come first. Make the change.” You’ll see this realignment reflected in my intro/journal. God didn’t REPLACE the community, but had to come before it.
HereÂ’s a fundamental difference between myself, as a follower of Christ, and those in here who are not. This is not a better/worse comparison, but a simple difference.
Some have said my Christian faith is one of many useful tools to quit. I respect the opinion. However, it is fundamentally off key from what I believe. My belief is not about religion. My belief is that I am a follower of Christ, not a “religious person.” With that being said, following Christ is not a tool used to quit chewing tobacco.
In fact, KTC is actually the tool. It is one of many tools that I’ve been blessed with that has strengthened my resolve in being a follower of Christ. It has been an amazing journey thus far and will continue to be. I don’t come here to “push my beliefs” on anyone, but when I’m asked how my quit is doing or what has worked for me or what I am struggling with… it will be intimately tied to my journey of being a better follower of Christ, he who I am ultimately accountable to. That is what this is all about for me. Quitting dip is only one of many sinful desires that I have and continue to shed to be a better follower.
I have each and everybodyÂ’s back in here. My actions have shown that more than anything i could say. This isnÂ’t you v. God, but he will always be first and foremost to me.
