Today is the day

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

But because then the Sheppard has to carry him on his shoulders all day.
During that time of healing, they develope a new relationship,
so the sheep never wants to run away from his master again.

It's funny you said this because I have a image tattooed on my right forearm of Jesus doing just that

(commemorating Luke 15:1-7)

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?s ... e%2015:1-7

Amen, brother! I quit with you today in the name of Jesus.

[Rawls]

Salty Dog!
It gets better....

When a sheep keeps running away from the Shepard.
Sometimes he will break the sheeps leg.
Not just so he cant run away.
But because then the Sheppard has to carry him on his shoulders all day.
During that time of healing, they develope a new relationship,
so the sheep never wants to run away from his master again.

Your body is healing...
I quit with you today.
Rawls 323

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Day 10 - Idolatry  Dippin'

I am a Christian. Idolatry is a sin and I have slowly, but surely been trying to rid myself of the multiple forms of idolatry that I've learned to hold through the years. Here, on day 10 as I reflect, I realize that I have held chewing tobacco as an Idol. For years, I've turned to it for comfort, to reduce my anxiety. A tin of dip has served as my savior in times of stress...so I thought. Sometimes, I would even pop a dip in my cheek and then talk to God. I always popped the dip in first though. THEN... I prayed to God.

This shouldn't be the case. This is no longer the case. A dip will no longer take precedence over my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

When I have triggers that tempt me to draw back to a dip, I will draw closer to the Lord in those moments. Just like it was meant to be...

I'm a sucker, Lord. Sorry it took me so long to come around. Then again, You knew that was going to happen, huh?

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Here I am.... day 9. I'm good. Can't complain. Went through a cycle of triggers and made it thru. No turning back at all.

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Infidelity  The Pimp

You've watched the scene in the movies... Husband/wife is laying up in the bed with an extramarital side piece, while talking on the phone to his/her husband or wife. I watch these scenes and think to myself, "now that's some dirty ass, low-down, kind of shit! You're butt naked in the bed with another woman and talking to your wife on the phone...dang!" At the end of the day, if you can't stay monogamous, you shouldn't enter a covenant (or contract, however you see it) with another person to be exclusive.

I never have cheated on my wife with another person. However, there have been many times where I found myself "laid up" with my pimp, Nic. I'd be in the car with a bullet in my cheek, talking to my wife. I spent so much time with Nic. Not only was I cheating on my wife, but I was cheating on my wife with something that was literally killing me slowly. Bullet after bullet stuffed in my cheek, slowly penetrating my head, paying another installment on the down payment for my death.

For 7 days now, I get up and make a promise to myself and my KTC community not to chew or use any form of tobacco for the next 24 hours. I am going to make a conscious effort to renew my covenant with the Lord prior to posting roll. After posting roll, I will then renew my covenant with my wife every morning. I won't make this quit about my wife, but she is connected to it. I don't need to sit her down and tell her, but it will simply be a minute for me to meditate on and reflect on what is important... what is much more important than another bullet to the head.

I stay quit now! Bow wow, Dog house!

[I'm done with chew]

Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?

I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.

Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.

Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!

I know it's hard to see now because your wife wants to gouge your eyes for last weekend, but one of the things I noticed right away was how much more time I spent with her. The normal nighttime routine was get dinner on the table, baths for the kids, bedtime routine until about 7:00 p.m. when the kids went to bed. 7-7:30 dump and shower so I could dip. 7:30-8:30 sit and read twitter or espn on my phone while Mrs. watched TV. 8:30ish, escort Mrs. to bed so I could return to the living room by myself and get another dip or two in before bed.

It's a microcosm, but our whole lives were figuring out how to get the next fix for the withdrawals. Now? Kids still go to bed around 7, but from 7-9:30 or so, the wife and I hang out! We watch some terrible shows she DVRs, and while I laugh at the ridiculousness of the content of the shows, we actually talk again now! We are both enjoying the additional quality time together. There's something better out there than a lip full of poison. When we go out for dinner, I'm not in a hurry to get home to indulge in my affair. It's incredibly liberating to go anywhere even an all-day event, and not be consumed by how I'm going to get that fix.

This is a part of the "bigger picture" of quitting dip. You are changing the man inside. You are not just ditching dip. It's hard to explain this and even harder to understand when you're in the suck, foggy and raging. A couple months into it, you start to see all the stuff you were missing for so long just so you could selfishly poison yourself. The complete refusal to ever go back to that kind of slavery will keep me quit all day today.

I think the freedom we gain from quitting is more about this then it is about not having to fear health concerns and other issues. It's about having the freedom to live your life without having to give up precious moments on a crutch. We can never gain back the moments lost in life to this weed but we can take advantage of our regained freedom and enjoy the moments coming. That is freedom! Living life without robbing ourselves and others of who we are.

[KingNothing]

Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?

I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.

Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.

Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!

I know it's hard to see now because your wife wants to gouge your eyes for last weekend, but one of the things I noticed right away was how much more time I spent with her. The normal nighttime routine was get dinner on the table, baths for the kids, bedtime routine until about 7:00 p.m. when the kids went to bed. 7-7:30 dump and shower so I could dip. 7:30-8:30 sit and read twitter or espn on my phone while Mrs. watched TV. 8:30ish, escort Mrs. to bed so I could return to the living room by myself and get another dip or two in before bed.

It's a microcosm, but our whole lives were figuring out how to get the next fix for the withdrawals. Now? Kids still go to bed around 7, but from 7-9:30 or so, the wife and I hang out! We watch some terrible shows she DVRs, and while I laugh at the ridiculousness of the content of the shows, we actually talk again now! We are both enjoying the additional quality time together. There's something better out there than a lip full of poison. When we go out for dinner, I'm not in a hurry to get home to indulge in my affair. It's incredibly liberating to go anywhere even an all-day event, and not be consumed by how I'm going to get that fix.

This is a part of the "bigger picture" of quitting dip. You are changing the man inside. You are not just ditching dip. It's hard to explain this and even harder to understand when you're in the suck, foggy and raging. A couple months into it, you start to see all the stuff you were missing for so long just so you could selfishly poison yourself. The complete refusal to ever go back to that kind of slavery will keep me quit all day today.

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Simple Things like... Interacting with.... People?

I've found it eye-opening just how much I was robbing myself of when I was dipping. This week, at work, I didn't eat really fast while working so I could sneak out and dip in my car alone during my lunch. That was my normal routine. My companion was Nic and at times, I would talk to my wife on the phone when I had a dip in my mouth, knowing that I was deceiving her (feeling guilty.) Most of the time though, it was just me and Nic.

Now... there is no dipping of any sorts. Nothing. I'm discovering that there are these things called.... humans... and you can interact with them when your not busy hiding the bullets in your cheek during lunch. You talk to them and they talk back to you. You develop a thing called a relationship.

Oh the liberation... Be quit! Stay quit!

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Cave dreams happen. I used to have cancer dreams about my teeth falling out and losing my jaw.

This too shall pass.

man.... I had the tooth loss dreams before. Just trying to eat a sandwich and my teeth are just crumbling... scary shit..

[KingNothing]

Got my first hug from wifie since the ninja in me was exposed. On Day 6...last Friday, I was busted and had a coming to. Time to make a change...

These bullets from Nic can split a family up like no other. My wife and I have Jesus at the center though. This keeps us honest and reconciliatory, even if it takes a while at times.

I'm climbing the mountain slowly.

Good win CIKI. In my intro around day 49 (end of August-ish) I detailed a pretty wicked fallout with the Mrs. that included her asking me to start chewing again. Ultimately, because I am quitting for me first and foremost, I didn't give in. My fight was even more resolute.

As you said, addiction can and often does drive rifts between even the strongest of families. You've chosen to be stronger than your addiction so that your family does not have to suffer in that manner. So long as you continue to make that exact same decision every day, you win.

[Mike23mx]

Cave dreams happen. I used to have cancer dreams about my teeth falling out and losing my jaw.

This too shall pass.

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Got my first hug from wifie since the ninja in me was exposed. On Day 6...last Friday, I was busted and had a coming to. Time to make a change...

These bullets from Nic can split a family up like no other. My wife and I have Jesus at the center though. This keeps us honest and reconciliatory, even if it takes a while at times.

I'm climbing the mountain slowly.

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

Day 6 - Resisting Codependence

I had another cave dream. Nothing detailed, but just caved. It's all good. Dreams are dreams.

Feeling good today and ready to quit for 24. The dog house is growing. It a beautiful thing to see. As much as I like to see this and take pride in the dog house, I'm also trying to be sure not to get lost in co-dependence. As with other things, sometimes we can get lost in "helping others" in order to escape our own struggle. The danger in doing this in cases like this is that our sobriety from Nic can become dependent on having others to "get lost in."

I'm in the dog house all day, every day.

[Can_I_Kick_It?]

*poof

[pab1964]

Here I am on Day 5...

It has been nice to get through a variety of daily routines on the weekends and weekday. I was able to really see how many things were effected by my need to step away and dip. It's easier to see more beauty and enjoy it when you're not being pimped by Nic.

I'm also learning to refocus my energy during a disagreement with my wife. In the past, that served as a regular catalyst for me dipping. When stressed, I'd pinch a bullet out that tin and stick it in my mouth and shoot away.

I'm still on guard, but all is well. The higher mountain to climb is earning my wife's trust back. 6 days ago, she caught me in my lie. I was cheating on her with Nic for a while. I left a spitter out and she found it. 5 days ago (and everyday since).... I quit. I stay quit.

Well, maybe not a higher mountain in the long run, but...still a mountain to climb

You will earn the trust back when she realizes how much more time you're spending with her instead of the nic hoe! Quit on!