Slave for 31 years-NO MORE!

[Ready]

Authored and posted in the Hall of Fame by tiswritten on 1/24/2017

100 daysÂ… IÂ’ve reached the end of my training period. ThatÂ’s really what the first 100 days is. have equipped myself with several things along this journey that I am now able to skillfully use the rest of my life fighting the enemy, nicotine, that we have chosen to remain free from today.

I have gained knowledge. I now see nicotine for what it is. It is a demon that seeks to enslave and destroy those within its grasp. On the surface it can appear to be beautiful and enticing. Scratch the surface and you will see the ugliness that is masked just beneath. I understand now what it does to the body and mind and how it works tirelessly to deceive us. Long, long after the physical withdrawals subside, the mental games that accompany an addiction continue…”Just one taste…for old time’s sake...”

HoweverÂ…I have developed a focus...cultivated a mindset. I know the enemy is lurking in the shadows at all times. It cannot surprise me if I am aware of its presence. In the past I thought ignoring it or running from it was the answer. On the contrary, success is achieved daily by facing it head on. It cannot entice or trick me into coming back if I recognize that its intentions are to only harm me with absolutely no benefits in returnÂ… I see it for what it is.

ThereforeÂ…I have developed hatred and anger towards nicotine. Before joining KTC, I either loved it or feared itÂ…either way, I was a slave. These incorrect feelings kept me in its clutches with no hope for escape. It was easy for nicotine to steer me towards those emotions when I was trying to face it alone (or not face it at all).

SoÂ…I have developed relationships for support and accountability. This required time and effort. I did this by getting involved at KTC. From the beginning, I spent time on the forum and posted comments when I felt like I could contribute. I was one of the people in our group who has kept up with our attendance spreadsheet (SSOA). These things helped me form bonds with others going through the same thing as me. I learned to care about othersÂ’ quits tooÂ…which amazingly strengthened my own quit and continues to strengthen it every single day! We come from different walks of life, but we are fighting the same battle.

In the processÂ…I have tested my word. The times I attempted to quit on my own, I swore each time I was done. Inevitably, I lied to myself and ultimately failedÂ… but IÂ’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. On the contrary, when you give your word to others, the stakes are raised. Your true character is revealed.

Using all of thisÂ…I now have a plan and the tools to execute it. More accurately, I have bought in to the plan that has worked for thousands here at KTC. I have humbled myself and been observant. I came here to change myself, not change the site. I have poured everything into being a good group member, helping build cohesion and structure, and investing whatever I have into the quit of those around me. What a roller coaster of emotions the last 100 days has been!

On my own, my best attempt to quit in 31 years lasted 5 days. With KTC, I have amassed 100 quit days, gained quitting knowledge, learned how/where to focus with the proper emotions, built wonderful friendships, and strengthened my character. I have also learned several new cuss words and the appropriate circumstances in which to use them. All of this leaves me with two thoughts:

1.I am proud to quit with all of you today.
2.God willing, I will see you %@*!# quitters back here tomorrow!

[Dieselchick87]

Congrats on HOF You Rocked your HOF speech!! I am proud to be quit with you today and I sure as hell will see you back here tomorrow!!

Proud to be Quit with you today!

[B-loMatt]

'oh yeah'
Hall Of Fame bad ass quitter!
Great start Tis! You still have some rollercoaster quit in front of you, but you are well on your way to a way better place. Keep doing what has gotten you here and there is no reason to ever cave. Post HOF caving and failure to ever post again seems like a thing :( and rough patch 130ish and 170ish also seems to be real. Nothing you can't handle if you keep killing it though ;)

[B-loMatt]

I smell a Bad Ass Quitter! Tis, you get it :) keep doing what you are doing. It gets way better.
Thank you for my morning quit wood

[duathman]

This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not runÂ…I will not hideÂ…I will not cowerÂ…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH.
I quit today.

Damn Im 1284 days quit and this has been my anthem but I couldn't ever spell it out. Well said.

[Tonifer]

I hit 50 days earlier this week, so I thought it might be a good time to get something fresh onto my intro page. It is hard to believe how much oneÂ’s mind can be altered in less than two months.

Before I get into it too far, I wanted to report that my 2 teen daughters have finally stopped calling me Bugle Boy from the incident in my last postÂ… teens can be so brutal. :P

General observations and thoughts for new (and not yet) quitters from my last 50 days:

I wish I would have quit the day I signed up here. My confused nic-tainted mind set a date that had “sentimental” value…looking back…it cost me 10 days of quit. My advice Toss it immediately!! You will thank yourself later. Quit today.

I canÂ’t stress enough the value of using this site to its fullest. This includes:

- Read, read, read! There is so much information on this site that can aid you in your quit. Take advantage. There is wisdom. There is humor. There is drama. There are reality checks. Take it all in.

- Build relationships within your group. This is fundamental and has been crucial in my journey... So you say youÂ’re not a people person? Me eitherÂ… but I forced myself to become one on here, and I am a better man for itÂ…and a big reason IÂ’m still quit today. Exchange digits, communicate, make an effort to learn about those you make a promise with each day. If you are not a social butterfly, the best way I found of breaking the ice with others is to be observant. If you watch for them, opportunities will arise to introduce yourself. Did someone inspire you with something they did/said? PM them and tell them. Did someone post the same number two days in a row or skip over a number on roll? PM them and tell them. Get involved daily by helping hunt down those missing from roll post late in the day. All of these things are opportunities to introduce yourself and exchange digits. If you get comfortable with a few in your group, you will find it easier to post comments on discussions that pop up on your groupÂ’s board.

- Build relationships with some vets. They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. If you keep your eyes open you will easily find some that you can really lean on and learn from their journey. I have yet to see an instance when a vet was not willing to help someone unless that someone was not willing to listen and learn. Let me warn you that the vets tell it like it is. Early on I would take it personally if a vet posted a general message on our board scolding our group for lack of activity or something. Sometimes I NEEDED to take it personallyÂ…an over-inflated ego can hurt your quit. That being said, donÂ’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or, more importantly, your group. Even if you lose an argument with a vetÂ…which you probably will, many times the result will be a tighter group because you stuck up for one anotherÂ…and if you keep an open mind you will learn from every encounter. Because of the nature of this site, rage will always abound, especially in the newer groups. Feed off of it to strengthen your quit.

I think I now have a better understanding of why I've maintained a successful quit at KTC.

In 31 years of dipping, my best attempt to quit on my own lasted a whole 5 days because all I was doing was playing a game of one-on-one hide-n-seekÂ…me against the nic bitch. It was just a matter of time before she found me cowering somewhere aloneÂ…game over. I am more than ten times that today. Here are the main differences in my mind:

Alone vs support group: Simple…when I caved alone, who did I have to answer to? Just myself. I might beat myself up a little bit but it always ended with, “oh well, maybe next time.” Sure, I was disappointed in myself…but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. Now I make a promise each day to and with brothers and sisters going through the same battle I am. That ups the ante a whole lot in my book. It would kill me to break my promise and let my group down. Talk about added motivation, right?

Fear vs hatred: In all my failed attempts, I feared the nic bitch. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it…Please just go away and leave me alone! (as I looked for the best hiding spot I could find)....she never would honor my request... This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not run…I will not hide…I will not cower…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH. I see you for what you are because I am facing you head on…and I’m not afraid because I have fellow quitters to my left and to my right…ready to throw down with the bitch on my behalf at the drop of a hat if I even appear to flinch a little. Do you know how empowering that feeling is? If you don’t, then you are missing out. Fact: If you are facing something it cannot sneak up on you and catch you off guard. When I go to Walmart to pick up some Smokey Mountain, I tell the cashier, “I’ll take a Smokey Mountain, and to hell with the rest of that shit.” It feels good to see it and hate it with every ounce of my being.

I quit today.

well done.

a lot of learning goes on when you quit, about others, about yourself, about how and why the site works as it does.

looks like you are on the right pace, keep following the track one day after the other and it will lead you to great places.

and keep on learning as life will keep getting so much better.

I don't know how I missed your intro but this is dead on you are definitely someone that I look up to in my quit. Being an introvert by nature I totally understand having to force yourself to reach out Thank you for reaching out to me.
Proud to quit with you EDD.

Love all of this.
Making connections, staying connected and using those resources at the times you need them is a major key to staying quit.
IQWYT

This is some great stuff and all quitters and potential quitters should read it. Tis you do so much for our group. Thank you and I am proud to quit with you.

[ChickDip]

I hit 50 days earlier this week, so I thought it might be a good time to get something fresh onto my intro page. It is hard to believe how much oneÂ’s mind can be altered in less than two months.

Before I get into it too far, I wanted to report that my 2 teen daughters have finally stopped calling me Bugle Boy from the incident in my last postÂ… teens can be so brutal. :P

General observations and thoughts for new (and not yet) quitters from my last 50 days:

I wish I would have quit the day I signed up here. My confused nic-tainted mind set a date that had “sentimental” value…looking back…it cost me 10 days of quit. My advice Toss it immediately!! You will thank yourself later. Quit today.

I canÂ’t stress enough the value of using this site to its fullest. This includes:

- Read, read, read! There is so much information on this site that can aid you in your quit. Take advantage. There is wisdom. There is humor. There is drama. There are reality checks. Take it all in.

- Build relationships within your group. This is fundamental and has been crucial in my journey... So you say youÂ’re not a people person? Me eitherÂ… but I forced myself to become one on here, and I am a better man for itÂ…and a big reason IÂ’m still quit today. Exchange digits, communicate, make an effort to learn about those you make a promise with each day. If you are not a social butterfly, the best way I found of breaking the ice with others is to be observant. If you watch for them, opportunities will arise to introduce yourself. Did someone inspire you with something they did/said? PM them and tell them. Did someone post the same number two days in a row or skip over a number on roll? PM them and tell them. Get involved daily by helping hunt down those missing from roll post late in the day. All of these things are opportunities to introduce yourself and exchange digits. If you get comfortable with a few in your group, you will find it easier to post comments on discussions that pop up on your groupÂ’s board.

- Build relationships with some vets. They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. If you keep your eyes open you will easily find some that you can really lean on and learn from their journey. I have yet to see an instance when a vet was not willing to help someone unless that someone was not willing to listen and learn. Let me warn you that the vets tell it like it is. Early on I would take it personally if a vet posted a general message on our board scolding our group for lack of activity or something. Sometimes I NEEDED to take it personallyÂ…an over-inflated ego can hurt your quit. That being said, donÂ’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or, more importantly, your group. Even if you lose an argument with a vetÂ…which you probably will, many times the result will be a tighter group because you stuck up for one anotherÂ…and if you keep an open mind you will learn from every encounter. Because of the nature of this site, rage will always abound, especially in the newer groups. Feed off of it to strengthen your quit.

I think I now have a better understanding of why I've maintained a successful quit at KTC.

In 31 years of dipping, my best attempt to quit on my own lasted a whole 5 days because all I was doing was playing a game of one-on-one hide-n-seekÂ…me against the nic bitch. It was just a matter of time before she found me cowering somewhere aloneÂ…game over. I am more than ten times that today. Here are the main differences in my mind:

Alone vs support group: Simple…when I caved alone, who did I have to answer to? Just myself. I might beat myself up a little bit but it always ended with, “oh well, maybe next time.” Sure, I was disappointed in myself…but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. Now I make a promise each day to and with brothers and sisters going through the same battle I am. That ups the ante a whole lot in my book. It would kill me to break my promise and let my group down. Talk about added motivation, right?

Fear vs hatred: In all my failed attempts, I feared the nic bitch. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it…Please just go away and leave me alone! (as I looked for the best hiding spot I could find)....she never would honor my request... This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not run…I will not hide…I will not cower…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH. I see you for what you are because I am facing you head on…and I’m not afraid because I have fellow quitters to my left and to my right…ready to throw down with the bitch on my behalf at the drop of a hat if I even appear to flinch a little. Do you know how empowering that feeling is? If you don’t, then you are missing out. Fact: If you are facing something it cannot sneak up on you and catch you off guard. When I go to Walmart to pick up some Smokey Mountain, I tell the cashier, “I’ll take a Smokey Mountain, and to hell with the rest of that shit.” It feels good to see it and hate it with every ounce of my being.

I quit today.

well done.

a lot of learning goes on when you quit, about others, about yourself, about how and why the site works as it does.

looks like you are on the right pace, keep following the track one day after the other and it will lead you to great places.

and keep on learning as life will keep getting so much better.

I don't know how I missed your intro but this is dead on you are definitely someone that I look up to in my quit. Being an introvert by nature I totally understand having to force yourself to reach out Thank you for reaching out to me.
Proud to quit with you EDD.

Love all of this.
Making connections, staying connected and using those resources at the times you need them is a major key to staying quit.
IQWYT

[Dieselchick87]

I hit 50 days earlier this week, so I thought it might be a good time to get something fresh onto my intro page. It is hard to believe how much oneÂ’s mind can be altered in less than two months.

Before I get into it too far, I wanted to report that my 2 teen daughters have finally stopped calling me Bugle Boy from the incident in my last postÂ… teens can be so brutal. :P

General observations and thoughts for new (and not yet) quitters from my last 50 days:

I wish I would have quit the day I signed up here. My confused nic-tainted mind set a date that had “sentimental” value…looking back…it cost me 10 days of quit. My advice Toss it immediately!! You will thank yourself later. Quit today.

I canÂ’t stress enough the value of using this site to its fullest. This includes:

- Read, read, read! There is so much information on this site that can aid you in your quit. Take advantage. There is wisdom. There is humor. There is drama. There are reality checks. Take it all in.

- Build relationships within your group. This is fundamental and has been crucial in my journey... So you say youÂ’re not a people person? Me eitherÂ… but I forced myself to become one on here, and I am a better man for itÂ…and a big reason IÂ’m still quit today. Exchange digits, communicate, make an effort to learn about those you make a promise with each day. If you are not a social butterfly, the best way I found of breaking the ice with others is to be observant. If you watch for them, opportunities will arise to introduce yourself. Did someone inspire you with something they did/said? PM them and tell them. Did someone post the same number two days in a row or skip over a number on roll? PM them and tell them. Get involved daily by helping hunt down those missing from roll post late in the day. All of these things are opportunities to introduce yourself and exchange digits. If you get comfortable with a few in your group, you will find it easier to post comments on discussions that pop up on your groupÂ’s board.

- Build relationships with some vets. They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. If you keep your eyes open you will easily find some that you can really lean on and learn from their journey. I have yet to see an instance when a vet was not willing to help someone unless that someone was not willing to listen and learn. Let me warn you that the vets tell it like it is. Early on I would take it personally if a vet posted a general message on our board scolding our group for lack of activity or something. Sometimes I NEEDED to take it personallyÂ…an over-inflated ego can hurt your quit. That being said, donÂ’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or, more importantly, your group. Even if you lose an argument with a vetÂ…which you probably will, many times the result will be a tighter group because you stuck up for one anotherÂ…and if you keep an open mind you will learn from every encounter. Because of the nature of this site, rage will always abound, especially in the newer groups. Feed off of it to strengthen your quit.

I think I now have a better understanding of why I've maintained a successful quit at KTC.

In 31 years of dipping, my best attempt to quit on my own lasted a whole 5 days because all I was doing was playing a game of one-on-one hide-n-seekÂ…me against the nic bitch. It was just a matter of time before she found me cowering somewhere aloneÂ…game over. I am more than ten times that today. Here are the main differences in my mind:

Alone vs support group: Simple…when I caved alone, who did I have to answer to? Just myself. I might beat myself up a little bit but it always ended with, “oh well, maybe next time.” Sure, I was disappointed in myself…but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. Now I make a promise each day to and with brothers and sisters going through the same battle I am. That ups the ante a whole lot in my book. It would kill me to break my promise and let my group down. Talk about added motivation, right?

Fear vs hatred: In all my failed attempts, I feared the nic bitch. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it…Please just go away and leave me alone! (as I looked for the best hiding spot I could find)....she never would honor my request... This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not run…I will not hide…I will not cower…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH. I see you for what you are because I am facing you head on…and I’m not afraid because I have fellow quitters to my left and to my right…ready to throw down with the bitch on my behalf at the drop of a hat if I even appear to flinch a little. Do you know how empowering that feeling is? If you don’t, then you are missing out. Fact: If you are facing something it cannot sneak up on you and catch you off guard. When I go to Walmart to pick up some Smokey Mountain, I tell the cashier, “I’ll take a Smokey Mountain, and to hell with the rest of that shit.” It feels good to see it and hate it with every ounce of my being.

I quit today.

well done.

a lot of learning goes on when you quit, about others, about yourself, about how and why the site works as it does.

looks like you are on the right pace, keep following the track one day after the other and it will lead you to great places.

and keep on learning as life will keep getting so much better.

I don't know how I missed your intro but this is dead on you are definitely someone that I look up to in my quit. Being an introvert by nature I totally understand having to force yourself to reach out Thank you for reaching out to me.
Proud to quit with you EDD.

[SirDerek]

I hit 50 days earlier this week, so I thought it might be a good time to get something fresh onto my intro page. It is hard to believe how much oneÂ’s mind can be altered in less than two months.

Before I get into it too far, I wanted to report that my 2 teen daughters have finally stopped calling me Bugle Boy from the incident in my last postÂ… teens can be so brutal. :P

General observations and thoughts for new (and not yet) quitters from my last 50 days:

I wish I would have quit the day I signed up here. My confused nic-tainted mind set a date that had “sentimental” value…looking back…it cost me 10 days of quit. My advice Toss it immediately!! You will thank yourself later. Quit today.

I canÂ’t stress enough the value of using this site to its fullest. This includes:

- Read, read, read! There is so much information on this site that can aid you in your quit. Take advantage. There is wisdom. There is humor. There is drama. There are reality checks. Take it all in.

- Build relationships within your group. This is fundamental and has been crucial in my journey... So you say youÂ’re not a people person? Me eitherÂ… but I forced myself to become one on here, and I am a better man for itÂ…and a big reason IÂ’m still quit today. Exchange digits, communicate, make an effort to learn about those you make a promise with each day. If you are not a social butterfly, the best way I found of breaking the ice with others is to be observant. If you watch for them, opportunities will arise to introduce yourself. Did someone inspire you with something they did/said? PM them and tell them. Did someone post the same number two days in a row or skip over a number on roll? PM them and tell them. Get involved daily by helping hunt down those missing from roll post late in the day. All of these things are opportunities to introduce yourself and exchange digits. If you get comfortable with a few in your group, you will find it easier to post comments on discussions that pop up on your groupÂ’s board.

- Build relationships with some vets. They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. If you keep your eyes open you will easily find some that you can really lean on and learn from their journey. I have yet to see an instance when a vet was not willing to help someone unless that someone was not willing to listen and learn. Let me warn you that the vets tell it like it is. Early on I would take it personally if a vet posted a general message on our board scolding our group for lack of activity or something. Sometimes I NEEDED to take it personallyÂ…an over-inflated ego can hurt your quit. That being said, donÂ’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or, more importantly, your group. Even if you lose an argument with a vetÂ…which you probably will, many times the result will be a tighter group because you stuck up for one anotherÂ…and if you keep an open mind you will learn from every encounter. Because of the nature of this site, rage will always abound, especially in the newer groups. Feed off of it to strengthen your quit.

I think I now have a better understanding of why I've maintained a successful quit at KTC.

In 31 years of dipping, my best attempt to quit on my own lasted a whole 5 days because all I was doing was playing a game of one-on-one hide-n-seekÂ…me against the nic bitch. It was just a matter of time before she found me cowering somewhere aloneÂ…game over. I am more than ten times that today. Here are the main differences in my mind:

Alone vs support group: Simple…when I caved alone, who did I have to answer to? Just myself. I might beat myself up a little bit but it always ended with, “oh well, maybe next time.” Sure, I was disappointed in myself…but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. Now I make a promise each day to and with brothers and sisters going through the same battle I am. That ups the ante a whole lot in my book. It would kill me to break my promise and let my group down. Talk about added motivation, right?

Fear vs hatred: In all my failed attempts, I feared the nic bitch. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it…Please just go away and leave me alone! (as I looked for the best hiding spot I could find)....she never would honor my request... This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not run…I will not hide…I will not cower…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH. I see you for what you are because I am facing you head on…and I’m not afraid because I have fellow quitters to my left and to my right…ready to throw down with the bitch on my behalf at the drop of a hat if I even appear to flinch a little. Do you know how empowering that feeling is? If you don’t, then you are missing out. Fact: If you are facing something it cannot sneak up on you and catch you off guard. When I go to Walmart to pick up some Smokey Mountain, I tell the cashier, “I’ll take a Smokey Mountain, and to hell with the rest of that shit.” It feels good to see it and hate it with every ounce of my being.

I quit today.

well done.

a lot of learning goes on when you quit, about others, about yourself, about how and why the site works as it does.

looks like you are on the right pace, keep following the track one day after the other and it will lead you to great places.

and keep on learning as life will keep getting so much better.

[Tiswritten]

I hit 50 days earlier this week, so I thought it might be a good time to get something fresh onto my intro page. It is hard to believe how much oneÂ’s mind can be altered in less than two months.

Before I get into it too far, I wanted to report that my 2 teen daughters have finally stopped calling me Bugle Boy from the incident in my last postÂ… teens can be so brutal. :P

General observations and thoughts for new (and not yet) quitters from my last 50 days:

I wish I would have quit the day I signed up here. My confused nic-tainted mind set a date that had “sentimental” value…looking back…it cost me 10 days of quit. My advice Toss it immediately!! You will thank yourself later. Quit today.

I canÂ’t stress enough the value of using this site to its fullest. This includes:

- Read, read, read! There is so much information on this site that can aid you in your quit. Take advantage. There is wisdom. There is humor. There is drama. There are reality checks. Take it all in.

- Build relationships within your group. This is fundamental and has been crucial in my journey... So you say youÂ’re not a people person? Me eitherÂ… but I forced myself to become one on here, and I am a better man for itÂ…and a big reason IÂ’m still quit today. Exchange digits, communicate, make an effort to learn about those you make a promise with each day. If you are not a social butterfly, the best way I found of breaking the ice with others is to be observant. If you watch for them, opportunities will arise to introduce yourself. Did someone inspire you with something they did/said? PM them and tell them. Did someone post the same number two days in a row or skip over a number on roll? PM them and tell them. Get involved daily by helping hunt down those missing from roll post late in the day. All of these things are opportunities to introduce yourself and exchange digits. If you get comfortable with a few in your group, you will find it easier to post comments on discussions that pop up on your groupÂ’s board.

- Build relationships with some vets. They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. If you keep your eyes open you will easily find some that you can really lean on and learn from their journey. I have yet to see an instance when a vet was not willing to help someone unless that someone was not willing to listen and learn. Let me warn you that the vets tell it like it is. Early on I would take it personally if a vet posted a general message on our board scolding our group for lack of activity or something. Sometimes I NEEDED to take it personallyÂ…an over-inflated ego can hurt your quit. That being said, donÂ’t be afraid to stand up for yourself or, more importantly, your group. Even if you lose an argument with a vetÂ…which you probably will, many times the result will be a tighter group because you stuck up for one anotherÂ…and if you keep an open mind you will learn from every encounter. Because of the nature of this site, rage will always abound, especially in the newer groups. Feed off of it to strengthen your quit.

I think I now have a better understanding of why I've maintained a successful quit at KTC.

In 31 years of dipping, my best attempt to quit on my own lasted a whole 5 days because all I was doing was playing a game of one-on-one hide-n-seekÂ…me against the nic bitch. It was just a matter of time before she found me cowering somewhere aloneÂ…game over. I am more than ten times that today. Here are the main differences in my mind:

Alone vs support group: Simple…when I caved alone, who did I have to answer to? Just myself. I might beat myself up a little bit but it always ended with, “oh well, maybe next time.” Sure, I was disappointed in myself…but I’m a pretty forgiving guy, especially when it comes to myself. Now I make a promise each day to and with brothers and sisters going through the same battle I am. That ups the ante a whole lot in my book. It would kill me to break my promise and let my group down. Talk about added motivation, right?

Fear vs hatred: In all my failed attempts, I feared the nic bitch. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it…Please just go away and leave me alone! (as I looked for the best hiding spot I could find)....she never would honor my request... This time my quit is fueled with hatred. I will not run…I will not hide…I will not cower…I will not back down. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE BITCH. I see you for what you are because I am facing you head on…and I’m not afraid because I have fellow quitters to my left and to my right…ready to throw down with the bitch on my behalf at the drop of a hat if I even appear to flinch a little. Do you know how empowering that feeling is? If you don’t, then you are missing out. Fact: If you are facing something it cannot sneak up on you and catch you off guard. When I go to Walmart to pick up some Smokey Mountain, I tell the cashier, “I’ll take a Smokey Mountain, and to hell with the rest of that shit.” It feels good to see it and hate it with every ounce of my being.

I quit today.

[B-loMatt]

Awesome. That bugles story is truth. Glad that you focused the rage on the nic-bitch b/c that is where it belongs :) Keep doing what you have been doing for the last 51 days brother, and you will get to a WAY better place.

[pab1964]

I appreciate all the wisdom. It has really helped me keep my focus.

I got a call late Thursday/early Friday that my grandma in PA wasn’t doing well. So the wife and I packed up the pickup truck, loaded up the 4 kids and headed out from NC to PA at around 4:30 in the morning. Friday was day 6 of quit for me. I had some gum, some Smokey Mtn Classic, and some ground coffee to keep my mouth occupied. After 31 years of dipping and only 6 days quit, I have to have something in my mouth. By around 8:30, we decided to stop and gas up and get some snacks. I was ready to find something to give my mouth a break from the “go to” stuff I mentioned. Looking around the gas station…Hey, damn Bugles…I haven’t had Bugles in years…used to love those salty funnel looking things. Hell yeah! A bag that size I can make last a couple hours. The 6 of us pile back into the pickup. I crack open my big bag of bugles and set it between my legs. As I reach for my seatbelt, the damn bag falls over onto the floorboard…Have you ever spilled something and whatever it was is still in the bag but there is no damn way you stand a chance of getting it right-side-up without dumping the rest? That was me. Of course you still try, right? Every movement of the bag, more bugles on the floor between my feet. Not one mother-fucking bugle stayed in that mother-fucking bag. With every bugle that dumped in my futile attempt to save some, a strand of my sanity snapped. I was a raging son-of-a-bitch holding an empty bag. I am normally a low key, go with the flow kinda guy…but this was day 6 of my quit. Under normal circumstances, my smart assed wife, two teen daughters, and 8 year old son would have been laughing their asses off at my mishap…not this day. My wife, knowing the deal and having quit smoking years ago, saw what was coming and “shushed” everyone except my 2 y/o daughter, who was oblivious to the whole thing.

I know I wasn’t thinking clearly…a bit of fog going on with the rage. I remember making a split decision and thinking, “FUCK YOU NIC BITCH- YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM EATING MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ BUGLES!” I started grabbing handfuls of bugles and slamming them back into the bag…handful after handful…cussing under my breath with every movement.

LetÂ’s switch gears for a minute and talk about the floorboard in my truck. It is a work truck. It is not a show piece. I vacuum a couple times a yearÂ…not recently. If I had to give you a breakdown of the material on my floorboard it would be something like:
20% sawdust, 10% hay/straw, 10% animal feed, 20% mud/dirt/sand, 20% animal shit (chicken, rabbit, dog, cat, duck), and 20% who the hell knows.

My wife said that I stopped shoving stuff into the bag when it was running about 50% bugles and 50% of the “floorboard trail mix”. That bag of bugles was supposed to last me 2 hours… I sat there and pounded down everything in that bag in a matter of 30-40 seconds, threw the empty bag on the floorboard and the fucking truck in drive, and hit the road. It’s all a bit of a blur to me. I do recall it being very quiet for the next few hours…and having to pick weird shit out of my teeth… fucking nic bitch…

Oh, grandma is so so…she is 90. Friday I tried to get her to go to the doctor…she said, “They can’t fix old.” We talked her into going to the ER on Saturday. So far she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia (that came out of nowhere). She’s not interested in fighting all that shit…she’s 90. She wants to go see my grandpa who we lost several years ago. If I were in her shoes I would be the same way.

Special thanks to Rewire for helping me post roll last Friday while I was driving from NC to PA. I could not get my iphone to do what needed to be done so I reached out to him in desperation. This was shortly after the bugle incident and I was not about to miss posting roll!

Nice damn job so far man! keep it up, keep posting up your experiences here. It helps you AND others! I"m yet another 30+ year user, now quit for 3-- you can do it here! Give it all you have, and it'll happen!

I'm not laughing at you brother, but I damn sure are laughing WITH you (assuming you're laughing now). I feel for your family....I was also a raging SOB (fortunately only my missus had to deal with it, because both my boys were out of the house....this time. Back in the early 90's was a different question. My prayers also for your comfort during this time with your grandmother. You proved to be a nic-slayer that day.....if you can do it then, you can do it anytime. (but then again, you already knew that).... Quit with you today.

Damn flashback of my early days of quit. Damn dude you had me rolling, I could see your face while reading that and brother no wonder it was quiet! The damn rage is horrible but be a man feel it coming on and get your ass away from your family if at all possible, after all they didn't shove that shit in your mouth and they don't deserve it. You need to vent, cuss whatever bring your ass in here someones always being an asshole. Look up October 16 that's some raging mofo's! Quit on my friend! Keep bringing the stories, you will look back on this later and laugh your ass off!

[CavMan83]

I appreciate all the wisdom. It has really helped me keep my focus.

I got a call late Thursday/early Friday that my grandma in PA wasn’t doing well. So the wife and I packed up the pickup truck, loaded up the 4 kids and headed out from NC to PA at around 4:30 in the morning. Friday was day 6 of quit for me. I had some gum, some Smokey Mtn Classic, and some ground coffee to keep my mouth occupied. After 31 years of dipping and only 6 days quit, I have to have something in my mouth. By around 8:30, we decided to stop and gas up and get some snacks. I was ready to find something to give my mouth a break from the “go to” stuff I mentioned. Looking around the gas station…Hey, damn Bugles…I haven’t had Bugles in years…used to love those salty funnel looking things. Hell yeah! A bag that size I can make last a couple hours. The 6 of us pile back into the pickup. I crack open my big bag of bugles and set it between my legs. As I reach for my seatbelt, the damn bag falls over onto the floorboard…Have you ever spilled something and whatever it was is still in the bag but there is no damn way you stand a chance of getting it right-side-up without dumping the rest? That was me. Of course you still try, right? Every movement of the bag, more bugles on the floor between my feet. Not one mother-fucking bugle stayed in that mother-fucking bag. With every bugle that dumped in my futile attempt to save some, a strand of my sanity snapped. I was a raging son-of-a-bitch holding an empty bag. I am normally a low key, go with the flow kinda guy…but this was day 6 of my quit. Under normal circumstances, my smart assed wife, two teen daughters, and 8 year old son would have been laughing their asses off at my mishap…not this day. My wife, knowing the deal and having quit smoking years ago, saw what was coming and “shushed” everyone except my 2 y/o daughter, who was oblivious to the whole thing.

I know I wasn’t thinking clearly…a bit of fog going on with the rage. I remember making a split decision and thinking, “FUCK YOU NIC BITCH- YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM EATING MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ BUGLES!” I started grabbing handfuls of bugles and slamming them back into the bag…handful after handful…cussing under my breath with every movement.

LetÂ’s switch gears for a minute and talk about the floorboard in my truck. It is a work truck. It is not a show piece. I vacuum a couple times a yearÂ…not recently. If I had to give you a breakdown of the material on my floorboard it would be something like:
20% sawdust, 10% hay/straw, 10% animal feed, 20% mud/dirt/sand, 20% animal shit (chicken, rabbit, dog, cat, duck), and 20% who the hell knows.

My wife said that I stopped shoving stuff into the bag when it was running about 50% bugles and 50% of the “floorboard trail mix”. That bag of bugles was supposed to last me 2 hours… I sat there and pounded down everything in that bag in a matter of 30-40 seconds, threw the empty bag on the floorboard and the fucking truck in drive, and hit the road. It’s all a bit of a blur to me. I do recall it being very quiet for the next few hours…and having to pick weird shit out of my teeth… fucking nic bitch…

Oh, grandma is so so…she is 90. Friday I tried to get her to go to the doctor…she said, “They can’t fix old.” We talked her into going to the ER on Saturday. So far she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia (that came out of nowhere). She’s not interested in fighting all that shit…she’s 90. She wants to go see my grandpa who we lost several years ago. If I were in her shoes I would be the same way.

Special thanks to Rewire for helping me post roll last Friday while I was driving from NC to PA. I could not get my iphone to do what needed to be done so I reached out to him in desperation. This was shortly after the bugle incident and I was not about to miss posting roll!

Nice damn job so far man! keep it up, keep posting up your experiences here. It helps you AND others! I"m yet another 30+ year user, now quit for 3-- you can do it here! Give it all you have, and it'll happen!

I'm not laughing at you brother, but I damn sure are laughing WITH you (assuming you're laughing now). I feel for your family....I was also a raging SOB (fortunately only my missus had to deal with it, because both my boys were out of the house....this time. Back in the early 90's was a different question. My prayers also for your comfort during this time with your grandmother. You proved to be a nic-slayer that day.....if you can do it then, you can do it anytime. (but then again, you already knew that).... Quit with you today.

[brettlees]

I appreciate all the wisdom. It has really helped me keep my focus.

I got a call late Thursday/early Friday that my grandma in PA wasn’t doing well. So the wife and I packed up the pickup truck, loaded up the 4 kids and headed out from NC to PA at around 4:30 in the morning. Friday was day 6 of quit for me. I had some gum, some Smokey Mtn Classic, and some ground coffee to keep my mouth occupied. After 31 years of dipping and only 6 days quit, I have to have something in my mouth. By around 8:30, we decided to stop and gas up and get some snacks. I was ready to find something to give my mouth a break from the “go to” stuff I mentioned. Looking around the gas station…Hey, damn Bugles…I haven’t had Bugles in years…used to love those salty funnel looking things. Hell yeah! A bag that size I can make last a couple hours. The 6 of us pile back into the pickup. I crack open my big bag of bugles and set it between my legs. As I reach for my seatbelt, the damn bag falls over onto the floorboard…Have you ever spilled something and whatever it was is still in the bag but there is no damn way you stand a chance of getting it right-side-up without dumping the rest? That was me. Of course you still try, right? Every movement of the bag, more bugles on the floor between my feet. Not one mother-fucking bugle stayed in that mother-fucking bag. With every bugle that dumped in my futile attempt to save some, a strand of my sanity snapped. I was a raging son-of-a-bitch holding an empty bag. I am normally a low key, go with the flow kinda guy…but this was day 6 of my quit. Under normal circumstances, my smart assed wife, two teen daughters, and 8 year old son would have been laughing their asses off at my mishap…not this day. My wife, knowing the deal and having quit smoking years ago, saw what was coming and “shushed” everyone except my 2 y/o daughter, who was oblivious to the whole thing.

I know I wasn’t thinking clearly…a bit of fog going on with the rage. I remember making a split decision and thinking, “FUCK YOU NIC BITCH- YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM EATING MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ BUGLES!” I started grabbing handfuls of bugles and slamming them back into the bag…handful after handful…cussing under my breath with every movement.

LetÂ’s switch gears for a minute and talk about the floorboard in my truck. It is a work truck. It is not a show piece. I vacuum a couple times a yearÂ…not recently. If I had to give you a breakdown of the material on my floorboard it would be something like:
20% sawdust, 10% hay/straw, 10% animal feed, 20% mud/dirt/sand, 20% animal shit (chicken, rabbit, dog, cat, duck), and 20% who the hell knows.

My wife said that I stopped shoving stuff into the bag when it was running about 50% bugles and 50% of the “floorboard trail mix”. That bag of bugles was supposed to last me 2 hours… I sat there and pounded down everything in that bag in a matter of 30-40 seconds, threw the empty bag on the floorboard and the fucking truck in drive, and hit the road. It’s all a bit of a blur to me. I do recall it being very quiet for the next few hours…and having to pick weird shit out of my teeth… fucking nic bitch…

Oh, grandma is so so…she is 90. Friday I tried to get her to go to the doctor…she said, “They can’t fix old.” We talked her into going to the ER on Saturday. So far she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia (that came out of nowhere). She’s not interested in fighting all that shit…she’s 90. She wants to go see my grandpa who we lost several years ago. If I were in her shoes I would be the same way.

Special thanks to Rewire for helping me post roll last Friday while I was driving from NC to PA. I could not get my iphone to do what needed to be done so I reached out to him in desperation. This was shortly after the bugle incident and I was not about to miss posting roll!

Nice damn job so far man! keep it up, keep posting up your experiences here. It helps you AND others! I"m yet another 30+ year user, now quit for 3-- you can do it here! Give it all you have, and it'll happen!

[Tiswritten]

I appreciate all the wisdom. It has really helped me keep my focus.

I got a call late Thursday/early Friday that my grandma in PA wasn’t doing well. So the wife and I packed up the pickup truck, loaded up the 4 kids and headed out from NC to PA at around 4:30 in the morning. Friday was day 6 of quit for me. I had some gum, some Smokey Mtn Classic, and some ground coffee to keep my mouth occupied. After 31 years of dipping and only 6 days quit, I have to have something in my mouth. By around 8:30, we decided to stop and gas up and get some snacks. I was ready to find something to give my mouth a break from the “go to” stuff I mentioned. Looking around the gas station…Hey, damn Bugles…I haven’t had Bugles in years…used to love those salty funnel looking things. Hell yeah! A bag that size I can make last a couple hours. The 6 of us pile back into the pickup. I crack open my big bag of bugles and set it between my legs. As I reach for my seatbelt, the damn bag falls over onto the floorboard…Have you ever spilled something and whatever it was is still in the bag but there is no damn way you stand a chance of getting it right-side-up without dumping the rest? That was me. Of course you still try, right? Every movement of the bag, more bugles on the floor between my feet. Not one mother-fucking bugle stayed in that mother-fucking bag. With every bugle that dumped in my futile attempt to save some, a strand of my sanity snapped. I was a raging son-of-a-bitch holding an empty bag. I am normally a low key, go with the flow kinda guy…but this was day 6 of my quit. Under normal circumstances, my smart assed wife, two teen daughters, and 8 year old son would have been laughing their asses off at my mishap…not this day. My wife, knowing the deal and having quit smoking years ago, saw what was coming and “shushed” everyone except my 2 y/o daughter, who was oblivious to the whole thing.

I know I wasn’t thinking clearly…a bit of fog going on with the rage. I remember making a split decision and thinking, “FUCK YOU NIC BITCH- YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM EATING MY MOTHER FUCKIN’ BUGLES!” I started grabbing handfuls of bugles and slamming them back into the bag…handful after handful…cussing under my breath with every movement.

LetÂ’s switch gears for a minute and talk about the floorboard in my truck. It is a work truck. It is not a show piece. I vacuum a couple times a yearÂ…not recently. If I had to give you a breakdown of the material on my floorboard it would be something like:
20% sawdust, 10% hay/straw, 10% animal feed, 20% mud/dirt/sand, 20% animal shit (chicken, rabbit, dog, cat, duck), and 20% who the hell knows.

My wife said that I stopped shoving stuff into the bag when it was running about 50% bugles and 50% of the “floorboard trail mix”. That bag of bugles was supposed to last me 2 hours… I sat there and pounded down everything in that bag in a matter of 30-40 seconds, threw the empty bag on the floorboard and the fucking truck in drive, and hit the road. It’s all a bit of a blur to me. I do recall it being very quiet for the next few hours…and having to pick weird shit out of my teeth… fucking nic bitch…

Oh, grandma is so so…she is 90. Friday I tried to get her to go to the doctor…she said, “They can’t fix old.” We talked her into going to the ER on Saturday. So far she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and leukemia (that came out of nowhere). She’s not interested in fighting all that shit…she’s 90. She wants to go see my grandpa who we lost several years ago. If I were in her shoes I would be the same way.

Special thanks to Rewire for helping me post roll last Friday while I was driving from NC to PA. I could not get my iphone to do what needed to be done so I reached out to him in desperation. This was shortly after the bugle incident and I was not about to miss posting roll!