just quit monday

[Wt57]

hey everyone. i introduced myself a while back and ive been posting roll for a while now. today is day 56. i've been doing really good with my quit but i've been having trouble forgiving myelf and moving on. every godddamn fucking day, i think to myself, how the fuck did i let me do this awful thing to my body every day? i know the answer is you did it, sack up, stay quit and fucking deal with it but i look at my daughter sometimes and all i can think of is how fucking selish and stupid i was and i cant forgive myself i just feel like a piece of shit and it fucking sucks. i know im doing the right thing now, but goddamn, i hate that feeling.

additionally, i made my first dentist appointent today since i quit. i wanted to wait a little while to make sure i would be quit for good. (i had tried before and been relatively unsccessful only making it a few weeks each time. this site has been extrememly helpul). every so often, i get a few sores that show up in my mouth. they're usually only mildly annoying. ever since i was a kid before i chewed, i would get canker sores. literally every time i bit my lip or cheek, it would turn into a canker, not even a question. i never really thought much of them since it happened as a kid but since i've wised up and i quit, im pretty fucking terrified. i know theres not much i can do now besides go to the dentist and keep being a quitter, but what are the possibilities as for whats going on here? i know i will find out when i go to the dentist, but does anyone know if this can be something other than cancer? im only 24 and i will absolutely fucking hate myself if i have cancer from dipping at age 24.

thanks for listening

Try making amends to your daughter. Let her know how you feel, apologize, make a promise to her, and keep it. Some closure should help and if your word to her means anything it will help your quit.

I'm in November with you, let me know if you want to trade digits. Keep posting roll and honor your word. If you can't make a roll call, text, or pm someone to cover for you. This is important shit to a serious quitter.

As far as the mouth sores I can relate. My longest has lasted a week, but they come and go at random since I quit. 23 years of abuse for me and while I don't live in fear about cancer I do think about it. Best medicine at this point is to stay quit, get a few buddies if you need support or help. Lots of guys willing to help for the asking.

Dillon, quit beating yourself up! Your here your quit. You can't change the past neither can I. I understand what your saying I'm on day 186 and just yesterday I beat up on myself for awhile saying "why the fuck did I ever do that", well I did and now I don't and that's the answer. What stump said, if you are religious there is someone to talk to. As for the sores go to your appointment relax and remember the anxiety and fear. That is part of the suck, embrace it. I quit with you.

[TSNUS]

hey everyone. i introduced myself a while back and ive been posting roll for a while now. today is day 56. i've been doing really good with my quit but i've been having trouble forgiving myelf and moving on. every godddamn fucking day, i think to myself, how the fuck did i let me do this awful thing to my body every day? i know the answer is you did it, sack up, stay quit and fucking deal with it but i look at my daughter sometimes and all i can think of is how fucking selish and stupid i was and i cant forgive myself i just feel like a piece of shit and it fucking sucks. i know im doing the right thing now, but goddamn, i hate that feeling.

additionally, i made my first dentist appointent today since i quit. i wanted to wait a little while to make sure i would be quit for good. (i had tried before and been relatively unsccessful only making it a few weeks each time. this site has been extrememly helpul). every so often, i get a few sores that show up in my mouth. they're usually only mildly annoying. ever since i was a kid before i chewed, i would get canker sores. literally every time i bit my lip or cheek, it would turn into a canker, not even a question. i never really thought much of them since it happened as a kid but since i've wised up and i quit, im pretty fucking terrified. i know theres not much i can do now besides go to the dentist and keep being a quitter, but what are the possibilities as for whats going on here? i know i will find out when i go to the dentist, but does anyone know if this can be something other than cancer? im only 24 and i will absolutely fucking hate myself if i have cancer from dipping at age 24.

thanks for listening

Try making amends to your daughter. Let her know how you feel, apologize, make a promise to her, and keep it. Some closure should help and if your word to her means anything it will help your quit.

I'm in November with you, let me know if you want to trade digits. Keep posting roll and honor your word. If you can't make a roll call, text, or pm someone to cover for you. This is important shit to a serious quitter.

As far as the mouth sores I can relate. My longest has lasted a week, but they come and go at random since I quit. 23 years of abuse for me and while I don't live in fear about cancer I do think about it. Best medicine at this point is to stay quit, get a few buddies if you need support or help. Lots of guys willing to help for the asking.

[stump33]

Dillon I share your fright and pray that you do not have the most dreaded disease, you may find comfort in a good long talk with the Lord, after all if you do have cancer you will find you need him every day and every way, and you will have to face up, so start a relation with him now! and in the meantime I along with others will take your case to him and if you find you do not have cancer let this scare enforce your quit. I am a cancer survivor and a christian, I know you can beat what ever you are faced with when you set your mind to do it so Buck UP!!

[mcdillon27]

hey everyone. i introduced myself a while back and ive been posting roll for a while now. today is day 56. i've been doing really good with my quit but i've been having trouble forgiving myelf and moving on. every godddamn fucking day, i think to myself, how the fuck did i let me do this awful thing to my body every day? i know the answer is you did it, sack up, stay quit and fucking deal with it but i look at my daughter sometimes and all i can think of is how fucking selish and stupid i was and i cant forgive myself i just feel like a piece of shit and it fucking sucks. i know im doing the right thing now, but goddamn, i hate that feeling.

additionally, i made my first dentist appointent today since i quit. i wanted to wait a little while to make sure i would be quit for good. (i had tried before and been relatively unsccessful only making it a few weeks each time. this site has been extrememly helpul). every so often, i get a few sores that show up in my mouth. they're usually only mildly annoying. ever since i was a kid before i chewed, i would get canker sores. literally every time i bit my lip or cheek, it would turn into a canker, not even a question. i never really thought much of them since it happened as a kid but since i've wised up and i quit, im pretty fucking terrified. i know theres not much i can do now besides go to the dentist and keep being a quitter, but what are the possibilities as for whats going on here? i know i will find out when i go to the dentist, but does anyone know if this can be something other than cancer? im only 24 and i will absolutely fucking hate myself if i have cancer from dipping at age 24.

thanks for listening

[Wedge]

made it through the weekend just fine. normally my weekends involve booze and usually after a few suds, a dip. not this weekend. normally, i will be dying for one after a few beers but it didnt even enter my thought process, which i thought was weird. i was expecting it to be a battle but i kept myself pretty busy so i didnt even get a chance to think about it. and i was so frickin tired saturday night i fell asleep at 9:30 like a bitch. other than that i'm doing pretty good. still have 'the fog' big time. i have been a little sluggish and lightheaded and terribly unfocused. headahces are come and go and the sores are pretty much going away now. couldnt be happier with my decision. really enjoying not having to deal with this shit anymore.

Good....just make sure you post roll everyday and make that promise.

[mcdillon27]

made it through the weekend just fine. normally my weekends involve booze and usually after a few suds, a dip. not this weekend. normally, i will be dying for one after a few beers but it didnt even enter my thought process, which i thought was weird. i was expecting it to be a battle but i kept myself pretty busy so i didnt even get a chance to think about it. and i was so frickin tired saturday night i fell asleep at 9:30 like a bitch. other than that i'm doing pretty good. still have 'the fog' big time. i have been a little sluggish and lightheaded and terribly unfocused. headahces are come and go and the sores are pretty much going away now. couldnt be happier with my decision. really enjoying not having to deal with this shit anymore.

[Souliman]

went to a concert of one of my favorite bands tonight, gaelic storm, and had a few beers. and having a few more now. normally, i would be jonesing hard for a chew now but i dont want one. ive never felt this the other times i've tried to quit. this time i'm getting off this dirty fucking stupid habit. wish i'd found this fucking website sooner. it kicks ass.

Good job bro. I would only suggest not consuming any alcohol for a bit until you got some days under you. Its amazing how alcohol starts to cloud the logic. You don't want to make a mistake like the gigantic clown riding a mule tattoo I have on my back. Jeez.

[mcdillon27]

went to a concert of one of my favorite bands tonight, gaelic storm, and had a few beers. and having a few more now. normally, i would be jonesing hard for a chew now but i dont want one. ive never felt this the other times i've tried to quit. this time i'm getting off this dirty fucking stupid habit. wish i'd found this fucking website sooner. it kicks ass.

[Skoal Monster]

still goin strong. i hadnt told my wife i was planning on quitting until i had made it a few days so she could see i was really serious this time. her dad has smoked since he was a teenager so i think it was especially important to her that i get off the stupid fucking chew asap.  we had a long talk and i was telling her what im going through and how she can support me and what not and we got to a point where we talked about her dad's smoking habit and she basically she said she knows he is going to die young from smoking and she's accepted it. dude. shes 24 and hes like 49. shes already accepted that her dad is going to die from this. she then realized how morbid she sounded and broke down. i already knew i didnt want to put my daughter through this, but boy, talk about a little extra motivation. in a really twisted way this actually made me feel even better about my decision. no doubt i still feel awful for my wife that shes had to live like this, but still, it makes me feel better to know i wont be putting my daughter through it.  thanks for listening

dude, thats not morbid at all, its fucking accurate as hell. She's crying because she knows she is going to lose her daddy to a fucking addiction to a neurotoxic plant. She deserves better. It isn't if it kills you, it is just when with nicotine. Not to mentionall the ways that shit robs you of your time and money and creeps into your life in all sorts of ways.

Read the Tom and Jenny Kern story then look for the link at the bottom to the caring bridge site. Go there and read the guest book. You can find posts by Tom's daughter. You can literally feel the sadness and anger and hurt that she has because nicotine robbed her of her Daddy. That is the alternative you face .

Think I'm bluffing? think the odds are in your favor? Jenny Kern said " the odds don't matter, when your the one that gets it" The next dip could be the one that ignites the cancer that kills you, it is that simple.

You need to be there when your daughter goes to prom. When she heads off to college, When it is time to walk her down the aisle. If you blow off your commitment to your wife you might as well look her and your daughter in the eye and tell them you choose cancer over them.

Quitting is as easy as making up your mind and living with the decision. Do it


and get your ass to ROLL CALL

sM

[Bean]

MC - you might get a little extra motivation from reading the Tom and Jenny Kern story. (click on the KilltheCan.org link above).

[ERDVM]

Alright, now we're quittin. Read this to learn more about what, why, and how we do things. There is also a link on posting roll. Don't worry about messing things up, just get your name on the roll first thing every morning, grab your nut sack, and keep your word. --------Welcome Center

[mcdillon27]

still goin strong. i hadnt told my wife i was planning on quitting until i had made it a few days so she could see i was really serious this time. her dad has smoked since he was a teenager so i think it was especially important to her that i get off the stupid fucking chew asap. we had a long talk and i was telling her what im going through and how she can support me and what not and we got to a point where we talked about her dad's smoking habit and she basically she said she knows he is going to die young from smoking and she's accepted it. dude. shes 24 and hes like 49. shes already accepted that her dad is going to die from this. she then realized how morbid she sounded and broke down. i already knew i didnt want to put my daughter through this, but boy, talk about a little extra motivation. in a really twisted way this actually made me feel even better about my decision. no doubt i still feel awful for my wife that shes had to live like this, but still, it makes me feel better to know i wont be putting my daughter through it. thanks for listening

[mcdillon27]

to everyone who posted and especially ERDVM, thanks for the help. I know that i gotta get to a dentist, i was mostly asking if i should be seeing a dentist or if theres some sort of specialist i should be seeing. i have never really wanted to quit before, but i have tried to because i know i should. i was kinda committed but not really. i am sure you have seen a bunch of people come through here and say this time is different or some other bullshit, but i dont know what else to say other than this time is differnt for me. i really really fucking want it this time. the other times i have tried to quit i have had cravings pretty routinely afterwards. I havent really had any cravings yet and im actually kinda scared of trying it again. i dont know. something about my mindset feels totally different this time and im done with that shit. i will defintely be back to the forums, you guys. already added it to my favorites. thanks for the help.

[ERDVM]

Nothing to add, except:

How about posting roll?

Even if you were on the "We Know Oral Lesions" website, their advice would be go to your dentist. Sorry to sound like an ass, but there are hundreds that have come through here with the same worries. When you stick a carcinogen in your mouth multiple times daily - your chance for cancer increases. If you tear down old buildings with asbestos - your chances for mesothelioma increase. If you are in Jamaica and have sex with a dog that has Transmissible Venereal Tumor, well...., you get my point. We all chose to willingly expose ourselves to cancer, so bite the bullet and go get it checked out.

In the meantime, why don't you decide to take your life back. I hope your oral lesions come back benign (common after quitting BTW), but time and time again we witness newbies with oral lesions go back to the cancergrass as soon as they get the negative pathology report. The "Yippee! I don't have cancer, so now I can celebrate with a gagger! I best not pack it on my biopsy site." routine.


There is a way. It is called QUITTING. It requires BALLS. It requires COMMITMENT. It requires BROTHERHOOD.

[Bean]

I agree that you should get them checked out. But mouth sores are very common among new quitters. Click on the Killthecan.org link above and read "what to expect" under Your Quit. (I may have the exact titles wrong, but you'll find it). Try to relax...it really is probably nothing.

I had sores too and freaked out looking at them in the bathroom mirror. I scheduled a dentist appointment but they were gone before the day of the appointment. When the dentist told me that he didn't see anything, I was relieved. But like so many others have warned, DO NOT think that you can go back to dipping just because this time was a false alarm. This is just another nic bitch mind fuck. Stay strong and stay quit, brother.