Author Topic: Bachelor Party and Cigars  (Read 215 times)

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Offline chewie

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2019, 03:18:56 PM »
Yup, I tried to bum a smoke in a moment of weakness on Friday night.  The craving lasted maybe a minute.  I was on the path to caving, terribly close.  Fortunately I was unsuccessful and got a grip before anything irreparable happened to my commitment to be in the Sept '19 HOF.  I did NOT put nicotine in my body.  Then I posted to the forum for support ASAP, as it seriously shook me up and I felt the need to share.  Not just for personal guidance but so that others can read my experience and it be documented for future benefit to this forum.

This weekend marks 4 weeks for me nicotine free, longest time in 22 years!  I am succeeding.  Am I at risk?  Of course.  Isn't that why we are all here?  KTC would not exist if we were not ALL perpetually at risk.  Do I have a long road to go and to learn from the vets and mods here, hell Yes.  Certainly I am naive and ignorant in my quit.  This is new for me, you were all here once, I will grow and mature in this as I have in so many other challenges I have surmounted in my life.

Regarding responses from a select couple of the vets and moderators here, my feelings are mixed with your approach.  There is a tone of ridicule I don't appreciate.  I believe for some members just reading this thread and the one over in the Sept group would be enough to think twice before coming clean on a mistake or even joining this site.  I've had personal messages commenting on my "lashing" and glad to see that I've decided to continue posting roll and sticking around despite the treatment.

I will post roll every day (WUPP), I will stick around.  If not to continue posting in general discussions or to share my experiences and weaknesses, but then to just exist in the form of texting with those who I've exchanged #s with or to DM outside of the GroupMe group chat.  I would prefer it not come to that.  But I will resort to that if the tone of these threads from certain mods and vets continues.

I've been told to apologize to everyone in this forum who I was "trying to shit on", and then repermanded for my action in coming clean by posting in my Sept '19 quit group what happened on Friday night.

This feels flat out wrong to me.  What happens when someone almost (or does) cave? I presume a dip or other nic product does not just accidentally fall in one's mouth.  Premeditated actions take place.  I read on here about drives to gas stations, purchase of dip, and throwing away of dip.  There are close calls and there are losses every week of those who caved charted by each of our quit date's spreadsheet for us all to see.  Should these poor decisions, close calls, and even failures not be reported?!  I'm completely beside myself that I was told it was a mistake to share with everyone what happened.  WTF

I was asked what changed between my promise on Friday morning and my near cave that night. Strength to manage my underlying desire to use nicotine is what changed.  Drinking was the primary driver fueling that loss of strength.  I know drinking lowers inhibitions and puts us at risk, it's clearly written multiple places in KTC.  It's a clearly documented fact in general.  This doesn't change my wish to quit or my good will to keep true to my promise.  It does demonstrate my weakness and foolish chain of decisions which put me at risk Friday night.  I did not insult anyone, nor harm anyone, to be accused of these things by a vet/mod on this forum is frankly absurd and childish in my opinion.  Are some of you playing toy drill sergeant here on people with nicotine addiction, it sure comes across that way.  Just my observation as a new comer.

Thankfully I have my numbers exchanged with folks in my quit month and openly accepted offers from some of the vets and mods in anticipation of the challenges I knew this weekend would bring. These handful of folks know who they are and I Thank You for being there for me this weekend, even in my time of weakness.  In turn I am here for you.

I guess the responses to follow in this thread will determine if you hear more from me.  But regardless I will keep my promise, I will WUPP, I will keep using my numbers.

This may raise a *hit storm but I've had this on my mind for the past 2 days while enjoying a celebration for one of my very closest friends getting married.  The wedding is in Sept,,, so all hopefully stay tuned for another round of stories about temptation and risk exposure.

You came close to failing... but you didn't. That's a win, and one of EPIC proportions, in my book.

Does it suck that you were that close to caving? Does it suck that you might have caved if someone gave you a smoke when you first asked? Yep. It does.

But you didn't. For whatever reason you didn't.

Next time, be even more prepared then you were. Text a brother on the way to the wedding. Remind yourself that you're going to be tempted. Have some tools in your toolbelt.

This episode, and every similar experience between now and that wedding can prepare you.

Be ready.
Keep posting.
Keep winning.

Here's a couple of things I wrote back in the day that you may find super relevant.

This post I wrote as I was prepping for my brother's upcoming bachelor party: https://www.killthecan.org/cramming-for-a-test/

This one was the aftermath of the bachelor party: https://www.killthecan.org/face-to-face-with-an-old-friend-the-kodiak-bear/

Proud to (still) be quit with you today sir.

Chewie

Give this one a read as well... https://www.killthecan.org/cigars-and-the-quitter/
"Every man dies... not every man really lives." - William Wallace

QD - 7.24.06 / HOF - 10.31.06 / 2nd Floor - 2.08.07 / 3rd Floor - 5.19.07 / 4th Floor - 8.27.07 / 5th Floor - 12.05.07 / 6th Floor - 3.14.08 / 7th Floor - 6.22.08 / 8th Floor - 9.30.08
9th Floor - 1.08.09 / Comma - 4.18.09 / 11th Floor - 7.27.09 / 12th Floor - 11.04.09 / 13th Floor - 2.12.10 / 14th Floor - 05.23.10 / 15th Floor - 08.31.2010 / 16th Floor - 12.9.10
17th Floor - 3.19.11 / 18th Floor - 6.27.11 / 19th Floor - 10.5.11 / 2K - 1.13.12 / 21st Floor - 4.22.12 / 22nd Floor - 7.31.12 / 23rd Floor - 11.8.12 / 24th Floor - 2.16.13 / 25th Floor - 5.27.13
26th Floor - 9.4.13 / 27th Floor - 12.12.13 / 28th Floor - 3.24.14 / 29th Floor - 7.1.14 / 3K - 10.9.14 / 31st Floor - 1.17.15 / 32nd Floor - 4.27.15 / 33rd Floor - 8.5.15 / 34th Floor - 9.13.15
35th Floor - 2.21.16 / 36th Floor - 5.31.16 / 37th Floor - 9.8.16 / 38th Floor - 12.17.16 / 39th Floor - 3.27.17 / 4K - 7.5.17 / 41st Floor - 10.13.17 / 42nd Floor - 1.21.18 / 43rd Floor - 5.1.18
44th Floor - 8.9.18 / 45th Floor - 11.17.18 / 46th Floor - 2.25.19 / 47th Floor - 6.5.19
Episode III: The Final Quit | 406 Northlane | ScareTissue.com

Offline chewie

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2019, 09:15:39 AM »
Yup, I tried to bum a smoke in a moment of weakness on Friday night.  The craving lasted maybe a minute.  I was on the path to caving, terribly close.  Fortunately I was unsuccessful and got a grip before anything irreparable happened to my commitment to be in the Sept '19 HOF.  I did NOT put nicotine in my body.  Then I posted to the forum for support ASAP, as it seriously shook me up and I felt the need to share.  Not just for personal guidance but so that others can read my experience and it be documented for future benefit to this forum.

This weekend marks 4 weeks for me nicotine free, longest time in 22 years!  I am succeeding.  Am I at risk?  Of course.  Isn't that why we are all here?  KTC would not exist if we were not ALL perpetually at risk.  Do I have a long road to go and to learn from the vets and mods here, hell Yes.  Certainly I am naive and ignorant in my quit.  This is new for me, you were all here once, I will grow and mature in this as I have in so many other challenges I have surmounted in my life.

Regarding responses from a select couple of the vets and moderators here, my feelings are mixed with your approach.  There is a tone of ridicule I don't appreciate.  I believe for some members just reading this thread and the one over in the Sept group would be enough to think twice before coming clean on a mistake or even joining this site.  I've had personal messages commenting on my "lashing" and glad to see that I've decided to continue posting roll and sticking around despite the treatment.

I will post roll every day (WUPP), I will stick around.  If not to continue posting in general discussions or to share my experiences and weaknesses, but then to just exist in the form of texting with those who I've exchanged #s with or to DM outside of the GroupMe group chat.  I would prefer it not come to that.  But I will resort to that if the tone of these threads from certain mods and vets continues.

I've been told to apologize to everyone in this forum who I was "trying to shit on", and then repermanded for my action in coming clean by posting in my Sept '19 quit group what happened on Friday night.

This feels flat out wrong to me.  What happens when someone almost (or does) cave? I presume a dip or other nic product does not just accidentally fall in one's mouth.  Premeditated actions take place.  I read on here about drives to gas stations, purchase of dip, and throwing away of dip.  There are close calls and there are losses every week of those who caved charted by each of our quit date's spreadsheet for us all to see.  Should these poor decisions, close calls, and even failures not be reported?!  I'm completely beside myself that I was told it was a mistake to share with everyone what happened.  WTF

I was asked what changed between my promise on Friday morning and my near cave that night. Strength to manage my underlying desire to use nicotine is what changed.  Drinking was the primary driver fueling that loss of strength.  I know drinking lowers inhibitions and puts us at risk, it's clearly written multiple places in KTC.  It's a clearly documented fact in general.  This doesn't change my wish to quit or my good will to keep true to my promise.  It does demonstrate my weakness and foolish chain of decisions which put me at risk Friday night.  I did not insult anyone, nor harm anyone, to be accused of these things by a vet/mod on this forum is frankly absurd and childish in my opinion.  Are some of you playing toy drill sergeant here on people with nicotine addiction, it sure comes across that way.  Just my observation as a new comer.

Thankfully I have my numbers exchanged with folks in my quit month and openly accepted offers from some of the vets and mods in anticipation of the challenges I knew this weekend would bring. These handful of folks know who they are and I Thank You for being there for me this weekend, even in my time of weakness.  In turn I am here for you.

I guess the responses to follow in this thread will determine if you hear more from me.  But regardless I will keep my promise, I will WUPP, I will keep using my numbers.

This may raise a *hit storm but I've had this on my mind for the past 2 days while enjoying a celebration for one of my very closest friends getting married.  The wedding is in Sept,,, so all hopefully stay tuned for another round of stories about temptation and risk exposure.

You came close to failing... but you didn't. That's a win, and one of EPIC proportions, in my book.

Does it suck that you were that close to caving? Does it suck that you might have caved if someone gave you a smoke when you first asked? Yep. It does.

But you didn't. For whatever reason you didn't.

Next time, be even more prepared then you were. Text a brother on the way to the wedding. Remind yourself that you're going to be tempted. Have some tools in your toolbelt.

This episode, and every similar experience between now and that wedding can prepare you.

Be ready.
Keep posting.
Keep winning.

Here's a couple of things I wrote back in the day that you may find super relevant.

This post I wrote as I was prepping for my brother's upcoming bachelor party: https://www.killthecan.org/cramming-for-a-test/

This one was the aftermath of the bachelor party: https://www.killthecan.org/face-to-face-with-an-old-friend-the-kodiak-bear/

Proud to (still) be quit with you today sir.

Chewie
"Every man dies... not every man really lives." - William Wallace

QD - 7.24.06 / HOF - 10.31.06 / 2nd Floor - 2.08.07 / 3rd Floor - 5.19.07 / 4th Floor - 8.27.07 / 5th Floor - 12.05.07 / 6th Floor - 3.14.08 / 7th Floor - 6.22.08 / 8th Floor - 9.30.08
9th Floor - 1.08.09 / Comma - 4.18.09 / 11th Floor - 7.27.09 / 12th Floor - 11.04.09 / 13th Floor - 2.12.10 / 14th Floor - 05.23.10 / 15th Floor - 08.31.2010 / 16th Floor - 12.9.10
17th Floor - 3.19.11 / 18th Floor - 6.27.11 / 19th Floor - 10.5.11 / 2K - 1.13.12 / 21st Floor - 4.22.12 / 22nd Floor - 7.31.12 / 23rd Floor - 11.8.12 / 24th Floor - 2.16.13 / 25th Floor - 5.27.13
26th Floor - 9.4.13 / 27th Floor - 12.12.13 / 28th Floor - 3.24.14 / 29th Floor - 7.1.14 / 3K - 10.9.14 / 31st Floor - 1.17.15 / 32nd Floor - 4.27.15 / 33rd Floor - 8.5.15 / 34th Floor - 9.13.15
35th Floor - 2.21.16 / 36th Floor - 5.31.16 / 37th Floor - 9.8.16 / 38th Floor - 12.17.16 / 39th Floor - 3.27.17 / 4K - 7.5.17 / 41st Floor - 10.13.17 / 42nd Floor - 1.21.18 / 43rd Floor - 5.1.18
44th Floor - 8.9.18 / 45th Floor - 11.17.18 / 46th Floor - 2.25.19 / 47th Floor - 6.5.19
Episode III: The Final Quit | 406 Northlane | ScareTissue.com

Offline BURGER78

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2019, 08:12:44 AM »
I agree AJAX..We are in this together and as part of your September group I am glad that you shared your story.  Stay strong and stay quit!!!

Offline --Ajax--

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2019, 02:49:36 AM »
I need to clarify, I believe the worst of the things said over on the Sept quit thread were from a vet, not a mod.  I've reported the post to the moderators.

Offline --Ajax--

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2019, 02:20:04 AM »
Yup, I tried to bum a smoke in a moment of weakness on Friday night.  The craving lasted maybe a minute.  I was on the path to caving, terribly close.  Fortunately I was unsuccessful and got a grip before anything irreparable happened to my commitment to be in the Sept '19 HOF.  I did NOT put nicotine in my body.  Then I posted to the forum for support ASAP, as it seriously shook me up and I felt the need to share.  Not just for personal guidance but so that others can read my experience and it be documented for future benefit to this forum.

This weekend marks 4 weeks for me nicotine free, longest time in 22 years!  I am succeeding.  Am I at risk?  Of course.  Isn't that why we are all here?  KTC would not exist if we were not ALL perpetually at risk.  Do I have a long road to go and to learn from the vets and mods here, hell Yes.  Certainly I am naive and ignorant in my quit.  This is new for me, you were all here once, I will grow and mature in this as I have in so many other challenges I have surmounted in my life.

Regarding responses from a select couple of the vets and moderators here, my feelings are mixed with your approach.  There is a tone of ridicule I don't appreciate.  I believe for some members just reading this thread and the one over in the Sept group would be enough to think twice before coming clean on a mistake or even joining this site.  I've had personal messages commenting on my "lashing" and glad to see that I've decided to continue posting roll and sticking around despite the treatment.

I will post roll every day (WUPP), I will stick around.  If not to continue posting in general discussions or to share my experiences and weaknesses, but then to just exist in the form of texting with those who I've exchanged #s with or to DM outside of the GroupMe group chat.  I would prefer it not come to that.  But I will resort to that if the tone of these threads from certain mods and vets continues.

I've been told to apologize to everyone in this forum who I was "trying to shit on", and then repermanded for my action in coming clean by posting in my Sept '19 quit group what happened on Friday night.

This feels flat out wrong to me.  What happens when someone almost (or does) cave? I presume a dip or other nic product does not just accidentally fall in one's mouth.  Premeditated actions take place.  I read on here about drives to gas stations, purchase of dip, and throwing away of dip.  There are close calls and there are losses every week of those who caved charted by each of our quit date's spreadsheet for us all to see.  Should these poor decisions, close calls, and even failures not be reported?!  I'm completely beside myself that I was told it was a mistake to share with everyone what happened.  WTF

I was asked what changed between my promise on Friday morning and my near cave that night. Strength to manage my underlying desire to use nicotine is what changed.  Drinking was the primary driver fueling that loss of strength.  I know drinking lowers inhibitions and puts us at risk, it's clearly written multiple places in KTC.  It's a clearly documented fact in general.  This doesn't change my wish to quit or my good will to keep true to my promise.  It does demonstrate my weakness and foolish chain of decisions which put me at risk Friday night.  I did not insult anyone, nor harm anyone, to be accused of these things by a vet/mod on this forum is frankly absurd and childish in my opinion.  Are some of you playing toy drill sergeant here on people with nicotine addiction, it sure comes across that way.  Just my observation as a new comer.

Thankfully I have my numbers exchanged with folks in my quit month and openly accepted offers from some of the vets and mods in anticipation of the challenges I knew this weekend would bring. These handful of folks know who they are and I Thank You for being there for me this weekend, even in my time of weakness.  In turn I am here for you.

I guess the responses to follow in this thread will determine if you hear more from me.  But regardless I will keep my promise, I will WUPP, I will keep using my numbers.

This may raise a *hit storm but I've had this on my mind for the past 2 days while enjoying a celebration for one of my very closest friends getting married.  The wedding is in Sept,,, so all hopefully stay tuned for another round of stories about temptation and risk exposure.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2019, 02:26:02 AM by --Ajax-- »

Offline 69franx

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2019, 06:33:46 PM »
Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?

From his post in groupme, he actually tried to bum one from two different people who turned him down.
The more I read, the more it looks that way. But as was said in September: if you go out looking to cheat on your wife and every woman in the bar turns you down, you still wanted to cheat, or something like that
ABQ= Always Be Quitting

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Offline Broccoli-saurus

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2019, 06:08:59 PM »
Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?

From his post in groupme, he actually tried to bum one from two different people who turned him down. 

Offline 69franx

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2019, 05:08:24 PM »
Not quite following here.
Did you think about bumming one?
Did you actually bum one?
Did you put nicotine in your body?
If you had an urge and got lucky enough to not find anyone willing to let you bum one, then you are a dumbass, but not a caver.
If you actually consumed nicotine in any form, then you made a weakass choice to cave.
You knew going in this weekend would be tough, what the fuck happened that quickly that you wanted to give in?
Too much alcohol that you said you would go easy on?
Hooker turned you down?
"Everyone was doing it" and you had to have one to be part of the group?
You knew you wanted to stay quit on Friday, but Saturday was different how?
ABQ= Always Be Quitting

My Intro
My HOF Speech
How long have I been quit?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


HOF: 11/08/17     2nd Floor: 02/16/18     3rd Floor: 05/27/18     1st trip around the sun: 07/31/18     4th Floor: 09/04/18     5th floor: 12/13/18     6th floor: 03/23/2019     7th floor: 07/01/19

Offline --Ajax--

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2019, 04:23:15 PM »
I'm going to repost here a response I just put in my quit month (Sept) thread...

This is true, at that moment i didn't want help, I didn't want a text, I didn't want a call, I didn't want someone to be there to tell me No, I wanted that one fucking hit of nicotine.  All rules were out the window for that point in time.  60 seconds later I was staying away from the person who I saw that I knew would give one.  60 seconds after that we were piling in a Lyft and out of there.  At that point I knew first thing when we got back to the house that I wanted to make my post with my KTC brethren.  I know it was reckless and disrespectful to my health, integrity, and promise to you all.  I dodged a bullet and I will learn through my error, this WILL make me stronger.  And I hope my sharing this will make all of you determined to be better than I and stronger to not get in the predicament I put myself into.

Offline Peter Gibbons

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2019, 04:19:09 PM »
I once saw a guy on here ask, "If a buddy at a party offered to put his cock in your mouth would you do it? I'm guessing probably not. So why would you put a cigar or dip or a cigarette in your mouth?".

Now that's food for thought right? I'm glad to hear OP has a vaca buddy / contacts. Early on and parties can suck for sure.

Stay quit my friends!

Too bad he didn't use that buddy when he was asking random people to bum a cigarette last night.

Offline DjPorkchop

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2019, 04:01:55 PM »
I once saw a guy on here ask, "If a buddy at a party offered to put his cock in your mouth would you do it? I'm guessing probably not. So why would you put a cigar or dip or a cigarette in your mouth?".

Now that's food for thought right? I'm glad to hear OP has a vaca buddy / contacts. Early on and parties can suck for sure.

Stay quit my friends!
If I could I would. If I don't, it's because I am lazy.
Life is Good!

Offline --Ajax--

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2019, 10:46:33 AM »
Hey everyone, need a little support here.  Been quit for 25 days.

So I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend out on Martha's Vineyard, so stoked for this trip with good friends!  Thing is, in the past (pre quit me) was prone to bum a cigarette while out at a bar.  Also, there will certainly be cigars to celebrate.  Now I realize we are not talking hookers and blow here, though now that I think of it both of those do not contain nicotine,,, I digress.  So my point is I'm sharing this now to hold myself accountable to keep away from nic on this trip. 

Any of the vets reading this have an experience to share regarding the celebratory cigar?  I know to keep my drinking to a minimum and to decline the cigar, just hoping to hear from someone who may have a good story about being in a similar position.

Cheers

Ajax,

Nicotine is nicotine in whatever form it comes in, cigars, cigarettes, dip, vapes, whatever.  Any of those ingested by you, is a cave. 
I would suggest that,
A: WUPP every morning and take nicotine off the table.  At that point you have made your promise and if you are a man of your word, you will keep that promise.
B: Get as many phone numbers from other quitters in here, vets included, before you go to your party and make sure you use those numbers when the craving hits you over the weekend.  Call one us man, we can help you get back down off that cliff but only if you reach out to us.  We unfortunately can not read your mind to know that you are in trouble so its up to you make the call.
C: Tell your buddies that you have quit nicotine in ANY form and you would appreciate their support by not offering any to you and also for them to KICK YOU ASS if you even think of "bumming" one from someone. 
D: I would recommend that you don't drink at all but I'm sure that recommendation will go out the window.  If you do drink, keep it in moderation so you can keep your senses about you.

PM me for my digits and I would be happy to support you. 


Chris

Chris is spot on, but for sure you NEED to do letter C.  You might get a little ribbing, but look em in the eye and say "I'm fucking serious.  I cannot have any form of nicotine or I will go back to being a slave."  There is no gray area.  I went on a fishing trip about 90 days in and had the same speech for the 7 guys I was with.  One of em tried to offer me a swisher sweet and I about lost my shit on him.

Point is, you are doing this for yourself as much as them.  You need to hear yourself out loud proclaim your independence, and strengthen your accountability with a new group of people.

You can do this.  Have fun at the party bro, easy on the hookers and blow.

Hookers actually usually have quite a bit of nicotine in them, so I've heard.  Anyway.  I caved to a cigar once and flipped my whole group and this site off before walking out the door.  Two weeks later, I was back to dipping a can a day again.  Once you're quit, you're quit.  If you open that door a little crack, the nic bitch will push the door wide open, and you'll be wondering where it all went wrong.  Tell the guys you're quit, limit alcohol.  If some asshole decides it'll be funny to put a cigar in your hand or in your mouth or pocket or butt...however it works in your friend group, take it out, drop it on the floor, and crush it with your boot.  That should get the message across.

This exact conversation happened a couple weeks ago.  Here is a link to that discussion: https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=14300.msg7296633#msg7296633

Thanks for all of the guidance and support!  I checked out that other discussion going on and turns out the OP is also in my quit group and on vaca at the beach this weekend.  So we have a buddy system going.  Cheers to no nic for the weekend party  'party2'

Offline Peter Gibbons

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2019, 08:54:18 PM »
Hey everyone, need a little support here.  Been quit for 25 days.

So I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend out on Martha's Vineyard, so stoked for this trip with good friends!  Thing is, in the past (pre quit me) was prone to bum a cigarette while out at a bar.  Also, there will certainly be cigars to celebrate.  Now I realize we are not talking hookers and blow here, though now that I think of it both of those do not contain nicotine,,, I digress.  So my point is I'm sharing this now to hold myself accountable to keep away from nic on this trip. 

Any of the vets reading this have an experience to share regarding the celebratory cigar?  I know to keep my drinking to a minimum and to decline the cigar, just hoping to hear from someone who may have a good story about being in a similar position.

Cheers

Ajax,

Nicotine is nicotine in whatever form it comes in, cigars, cigarettes, dip, vapes, whatever.  Any of those ingested by you, is a cave. 
I would suggest that,
A: WUPP every morning and take nicotine off the table.  At that point you have made your promise and if you are a man of your word, you will keep that promise.
B: Get as many phone numbers from other quitters in here, vets included, before you go to your party and make sure you use those numbers when the craving hits you over the weekend.  Call one us man, we can help you get back down off that cliff but only if you reach out to us.  We unfortunately can not read your mind to know that you are in trouble so its up to you make the call.
C: Tell your buddies that you have quit nicotine in ANY form and you would appreciate their support by not offering any to you and also for them to KICK YOU ASS if you even think of "bumming" one from someone. 
D: I would recommend that you don't drink at all but I'm sure that recommendation will go out the window.  If you do drink, keep it in moderation so you can keep your senses about you.

PM me for my digits and I would be happy to support you. 


Chris

Chris is spot on, but for sure you NEED to do letter C.  You might get a little ribbing, but look em in the eye and say "I'm fucking serious.  I cannot have any form of nicotine or I will go back to being a slave."  There is no gray area.  I went on a fishing trip about 90 days in and had the same speech for the 7 guys I was with.  One of em tried to offer me a swisher sweet and I about lost my shit on him.

Point is, you are doing this for yourself as much as them.  You need to hear yourself out loud proclaim your independence, and strengthen your accountability with a new group of people.

You can do this.  Have fun at the party bro, easy on the hookers and blow.

Hookers actually usually have quite a bit of nicotine in them, so I've heard.  Anyway.  I caved to a cigar once and flipped my whole group and this site off before walking out the door.  Two weeks later, I was back to dipping a can a day again.  Once you're quit, you're quit.  If you open that door a little crack, the nic bitch will push the door wide open, and you'll be wondering where it all went wrong.  Tell the guys you're quit, limit alcohol.  If some asshole decides it'll be funny to put a cigar in your hand or in your mouth or pocket or butt...however it works in your friend group, take it out, drop it on the floor, and crush it with your boot.  That should get the message across.

This exact conversation happened a couple weeks ago.  Here is a link to that discussion: https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=14300.msg7296633#msg7296633

Offline Broccoli-saurus

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2019, 06:19:28 PM »
Hey everyone, need a little support here.  Been quit for 25 days.

So I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend out on Martha's Vineyard, so stoked for this trip with good friends!  Thing is, in the past (pre quit me) was prone to bum a cigarette while out at a bar.  Also, there will certainly be cigars to celebrate.  Now I realize we are not talking hookers and blow here, though now that I think of it both of those do not contain nicotine,,, I digress.  So my point is I'm sharing this now to hold myself accountable to keep away from nic on this trip. 

Any of the vets reading this have an experience to share regarding the celebratory cigar?  I know to keep my drinking to a minimum and to decline the cigar, just hoping to hear from someone who may have a good story about being in a similar position.

Cheers

Ajax,

Nicotine is nicotine in whatever form it comes in, cigars, cigarettes, dip, vapes, whatever.  Any of those ingested by you, is a cave. 
I would suggest that,
A: WUPP every morning and take nicotine off the table.  At that point you have made your promise and if you are a man of your word, you will keep that promise.
B: Get as many phone numbers from other quitters in here, vets included, before you go to your party and make sure you use those numbers when the craving hits you over the weekend.  Call one us man, we can help you get back down off that cliff but only if you reach out to us.  We unfortunately can not read your mind to know that you are in trouble so its up to you make the call.
C: Tell your buddies that you have quit nicotine in ANY form and you would appreciate their support by not offering any to you and also for them to KICK YOU ASS if you even think of "bumming" one from someone. 
D: I would recommend that you don't drink at all but I'm sure that recommendation will go out the window.  If you do drink, keep it in moderation so you can keep your senses about you.

PM me for my digits and I would be happy to support you. 


Chris

Chris is spot on, but for sure you NEED to do letter C.  You might get a little ribbing, but look em in the eye and say "I'm fucking serious.  I cannot have any form of nicotine or I will go back to being a slave."  There is no gray area.  I went on a fishing trip about 90 days in and had the same speech for the 7 guys I was with.  One of em tried to offer me a swisher sweet and I about lost my shit on him.

Point is, you are doing this for yourself as much as them.  You need to hear yourself out loud proclaim your independence, and strengthen your accountability with a new group of people.

You can do this.  Have fun at the party bro, easy on the hookers and blow.

Hookers actually usually have quite a bit of nicotine in them, so I've heard.  Anyway.  I caved to a cigar once and flipped my whole group and this site off before walking out the door.  Two weeks later, I was back to dipping a can a day again.  Once you're quit, you're quit.  If you open that door a little crack, the nic bitch will push the door wide open, and you'll be wondering where it all went wrong.  Tell the guys you're quit, limit alcohol.  If some asshole decides it'll be funny to put a cigar in your hand or in your mouth or pocket or butt...however it works in your friend group, take it out, drop it on the floor, and crush it with your boot.  That should get the message across. 

Offline DonkeyMN

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Re: Bachelor Party and Cigars
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2019, 04:05:28 PM »
Hey everyone, need a little support here.  Been quit for 25 days.

So I'm going to a bachelor party this weekend out on Martha's Vineyard, so stoked for this trip with good friends!  Thing is, in the past (pre quit me) was prone to bum a cigarette while out at a bar.  Also, there will certainly be cigars to celebrate.  Now I realize we are not talking hookers and blow here, though now that I think of it both of those do not contain nicotine,,, I digress.  So my point is I'm sharing this now to hold myself accountable to keep away from nic on this trip. 

Any of the vets reading this have an experience to share regarding the celebratory cigar?  I know to keep my drinking to a minimum and to decline the cigar, just hoping to hear from someone who may have a good story about being in a similar position.

Cheers

Ajax,

Nicotine is nicotine in whatever form it comes in, cigars, cigarettes, dip, vapes, whatever.  Any of those ingested by you, is a cave. 
I would suggest that,
A: WUPP every morning and take nicotine off the table.  At that point you have made your promise and if you are a man of your word, you will keep that promise.
B: Get as many phone numbers from other quitters in here, vets included, before you go to your party and make sure you use those numbers when the craving hits you over the weekend.  Call one us man, we can help you get back down off that cliff but only if you reach out to us.  We unfortunately can not read your mind to know that you are in trouble so its up to you make the call.
C: Tell your buddies that you have quit nicotine in ANY form and you would appreciate their support by not offering any to you and also for them to KICK YOU ASS if you even think of "bumming" one from someone. 
D: I would recommend that you don't drink at all but I'm sure that recommendation will go out the window.  If you do drink, keep it in moderation so you can keep your senses about you.

PM me for my digits and I would be happy to support you. 


Chris

Chris is spot on, but for sure you NEED to do letter C.  You might get a little ribbing, but look em in the eye and say "I'm fucking serious.  I cannot have any form of nicotine or I will go back to being a slave."  There is no gray area.  I went on a fishing trip about 90 days in and had the same speech for the 7 guys I was with.  One of em tried to offer me a swisher sweet and I about lost my shit on him.

Point is, you are doing this for yourself as much as them.  You need to hear yourself out loud proclaim your independence, and strengthen your accountability with a new group of people.

You can do this.  Have fun at the party bro, easy on the hookers and blow.
To remain quit requires focus
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