Me Briefly

[EXBEARHAG]

Wanted to post this here for you.  I read this one quite a few times in those early days.  I think the line "Stop looking over your shoulder , there is nothing back there that you want." says it all.  When we were dipping, being quit is all we wanted, so ya, nothing back there for us. 

***************
I keep seeing posts where quitters are frustrated that they still have urges to dip or smoke. Some after a month, some after many hundreds of days. Maybe time ultimately erases that, I don't really know. The thing is when you have truly embraced your decision to quit, craves or urges become irrelevant. It's said over and over here that "dip is no longer an option". When you live that philosophy your quit becomes simple, easy even. If I know in my heart that I will never chew or smoke again, then I never consider it as a remedy,a pass time, crutch, etc. It is no longer on the table as a possibility in my mind. I have urges to dip all the time, they are no worse or better than my day one. The difference is I own them now. They have no power over me and I can brush them off with ease.

The destination and the journey are the same thing here. Quit is your destination, staying quit is the journey, you have already arrived my friend. Stop complaining about the potholes in your path, walk around them. Stop looking over your shoulder , there is nothing back there that you want. If there was you never would have left. Embrace your quit and there will not be any force of nature or mind that can move you from it.

SM

Powerful.  I remember reading that in your intro.  Makes my hair stand on end a bit.

[BrianG]

Wanted to post this here for you.  I read this one quite a few times in those early days.  I think the line "Stop looking over your shoulder , there is nothing back there that you want." says it all.  When we were dipping, being quit is all we wanted, so ya, nothing back there for us. 

***************
I keep seeing posts where quitters are frustrated that they still have urges to dip or smoke. Some after a month, some after many hundreds of days. Maybe time ultimately erases that, I don't really know. The thing is when you have truly embraced your decision to quit, craves or urges become irrelevant. It's said over and over here that "dip is no longer an option". When you live that philosophy your quit becomes simple, easy even. If I know in my heart that I will never chew or smoke again, then I never consider it as a remedy,a pass time, crutch, etc. It is no longer on the table as a possibility in my mind. I have urges to dip all the time, they are no worse or better than my day one. The difference is I own them now. They have no power over me and I can brush them off with ease.

The destination and the journey are the same thing here. Quit is your destination, staying quit is the journey, you have already arrived my friend. Stop complaining about the potholes in your path, walk around them. Stop looking over your shoulder , there is nothing back there that you want. If there was you never would have left. Embrace your quit and there will not be any force of nature or mind that can move you from it.

SM

[EXBEARHAG]

I've noticed you getting more vocal on the boards as of late, and I have to say I love your style.  You motivate people well, and you're doing great work here.  Just wanted to let you know that.  Keep it up!

Thanks Broc.  The  unselfish folks on this site have kept me away from kodiak for 10 times longer than my longest stoppage years ago.  Trying to give a little back when I can.  Hope some of the banter is helpful to someone along the way.

[Broccoli-saurus]

I've noticed you getting more vocal on the boards as of late, and I have to say I love your style.  You motivate people well, and you're doing great work here.  Just wanted to let you know that.  Keep it up!

[EXBEARHAG]

Based on many conversations on the board lately, I feel as though I have to write concerning the tough love philosophy here at KTC. 

Like many folks here, I manage people at work.  I've taken all the training.  Studied for and passed most of the promotional exams.  Each of these steps require more training on managing people; the different philosophies and tactics.  How each of us reacts differently to each style and philosophy.  The cautions and pitfalls of pushing through with one of these styles even when it's not effective.  There are thousands of books and philosophies regarding this subject; plenty to research and learn.

One constant however, is managing when time is of the essence and lives are at stake.  Under these circumstances, decisions need to be made quickly and orders can not be questioned.  The time for debate is over.  If someone were to question an order under these circumstances, I would not be patient and understanding in my reply.  Feelings may be hurt in these instances but for good reason.  In order for us to work affectively and safely, we need to buy into the plan as a group and see it through as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I see a lot of similarities between this type of management in an emergency situation and the accountability style of KTC.  Time IS of the essence on these boards.  Any one of us could be 1 wedge away from that diagnosis.  And yes, lives are at stake!  If you have not, read some of the stories of the guys who lost to this addiction.  They are powerful.  It's easy to forget why we quit.  What scared us shitless just before we made the decision.  IMHO, those that are offended by some of the tough love doled out on the site are not 100% committed.  Perhaps not scared enough.  Coddling those that do not drink the kool aid only gives them a way out.  It lessens the severity of the addiction.  We are here to keep people off nicotine not to watch them come and go while possibly sacrificing their lives.

Again, I apologize for the rant but I think this is an important conversation based on current events here on the site.  I look forward to any criticism, thoughts or concerns.

PTBQWYAT my friends.

@EXBEARHAG thank you for sharing!
Once I was talking to a nicotine free friend and of course she probably didn’t want to make me think she was “guilting me into quitting”
See...I know she loves me, but she doesn’t understand that this addiction often needs a good ass kicking... I was saying how this addiction was going to ruin my teeth. She said, “oh, they make false teeth.” And my addict brain actually in that moment was like, “yeah, yeah they do...” WTF?? Seriously?!?
So yes, please. Do me a favor...do not encourage those ridiculous addict thoughts. We are addicts. Addicts lie- point out those lies! Kindly, harshly, whatever... but do not let the lies fly.

As always, thanks for the support @ankape .  As you may have noticed, I'm not one to demean people.  I do not call people names or degrade them for little reason.  Just not my style.  However, I realize that this style of management can be effective.  Shit it has played a part in keeping me on the roll and clean for the last 200+ days.  I understand that some may take those harsh words personally and some of the language may make some people uncomfortable.  I'm uncomfortable reading some of the responses on the boards.  However, accountability is accountability.  You will never attract attention around here if you stay free of nic and make roll early every damn day (EEDD)...which is the site's ONLY goal.  If you do not meet that bare minimum standard, you will be called out and some of the language may not be all peaches and cream.  But for what reason?  TO KEEP YOU QUIT!  PERIOD.

[ankape]

Based on many conversations on the board lately, I feel as though I have to write concerning the tough love philosophy here at KTC. 

Like many folks here, I manage people at work.  I've taken all the training.  Studied for and passed most of the promotional exams.  Each of these steps require more training on managing people; the different philosophies and tactics.  How each of us reacts differently to each style and philosophy.  The cautions and pitfalls of pushing through with one of these styles even when it's not effective.  There are thousands of books and philosophies regarding this subject; plenty to research and learn.

One constant however, is managing when time is of the essence and lives are at stake.  Under these circumstances, decisions need to be made quickly and orders can not be questioned.  The time for debate is over.  If someone were to question an order under these circumstances, I would not be patient and understanding in my reply.  Feelings may be hurt in these instances but for good reason.  In order for us to work affectively and safely, we need to buy into the plan as a group and see it through as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I see a lot of similarities between this type of management in an emergency situation and the accountability style of KTC.  Time IS of the essence on these boards.  Any one of us could be 1 wedge away from that diagnosis.  And yes, lives are at stake!  If you have not, read some of the stories of the guys who lost to this addiction.  They are powerful.  It's easy to forget why we quit.  What scared us shitless just before we made the decision.  IMHO, those that are offended by some of the tough love doled out on the site are not 100% committed.  Perhaps not scared enough.  Coddling those that do not drink the kool aid only gives them a way out.  It lessens the severity of the addiction.  We are here to keep people off nicotine not to watch them come and go while possibly sacrificing their lives.

Again, I apologize for the rant but I think this is an important conversation based on current events here on the site.  I look forward to any criticism, thoughts or concerns.

PTBQWYAT my friends.

@EXBEARHAG thank you for sharing!
Once I was talking to a nicotine free friend and of course she probably didn’t want to make me think she was “guilting me into quitting”
See...I know she loves me, but she doesn’t understand that this addiction often needs a good ass kicking... I was saying how this addiction was going to ruin my teeth. She said, “oh, they make false teeth.” And my addict brain actually in that moment was like, “yeah, yeah they do...” WTF?? Seriously?!?
So yes, please. Do me a favor...do not encourage those ridiculous addict thoughts. We are addicts. Addicts lie- point out those lies! Kindly, harshly, whatever... but do not let the lies fly.

[EXBEARHAG]

Based on many conversations on the board lately, I feel as though I have to write concerning the tough love philosophy here at KTC. 

Like many folks here, I manage people at work.  I've taken all the training.  Studied for and passed most of the promotional exams.  Each of these steps require more training on managing people; the different philosophies and tactics.  How each of us reacts differently to each style and philosophy.  The cautions and pitfalls of pushing through with one of these styles even when it's not effective.  There are thousands of books and philosophies regarding this subject; plenty to research and learn.

One constant however, is managing when time is of the essence and lives are at stake.  Under these circumstances, decisions need to be made quickly and orders can not be questioned.  The time for debate is over.  If someone were to question an order under these circumstances, I would not be patient and understanding in my reply.  Feelings may be hurt in these instances but for good reason.  In order for us to work affectively and safely, we need to buy into the plan as a group and see it through as quickly and efficiently as possible.

I see a lot of similarities between this type of management in an emergency situation and the accountability style of KTC.  Time IS of the essence on these boards.  Any one of us could be 1 wedge away from that diagnosis.  And yes, lives are at stake!  If you have not, read some of the stories of the guys who lost to this addiction.  They are powerful.  It's easy to forget why we quit.  What scared us shitless just before we made the decision.  IMHO, those that are offended by some of the tough love doled out on the site are not 100% committed.  Perhaps not scared enough.  Coddling those that do not drink the kool aid only gives them a way out.  It lessens the severity of the addiction.  We are here to keep people off nicotine not to watch them come and go while possibly sacrificing their lives.

Again, I apologize for the rant but I think this is an important conversation based on current events here on the site.  I look forward to any criticism, thoughts or concerns.

PTBQWYAT my friends.

[Keith0617]

DAY 209

Holding the line.  Cravings and triggers are still there.  There seems to be less of them but the real difference is the intensity.  The more time and space I put between myself and the can, the easier (relative term) it is to say F*** you and laugh at the craving.  I still get a couple that really hurt each day (you know, the ones where you forget for a fraction of a second that you stopped) but I'll take that over the several I used to have an hour in the beginning.

I'm still struggling from time to time.  The addiction is strong.  With just over 200 days, I'm still a newbie here.  But I can quit for today.  ODAAT!

PTBQWYT my friends.

You are killing it @EXBEARHAG . Just wait, it does keep getting better. Seems like around a milestone is always the toughest for me. Proud to quit with you brother.

[EXBEARHAG]

DAY 209

Holding the line.  Cravings and triggers are still there.  There seems to be less of them but the real difference is the intensity.  The more time and space I put between myself and the can, the easier (relative term) it is to say F*** you and laugh at the craving.  I still get a couple that really hurt each day (you know, the ones where you forget for a fraction of a second that you stopped) but I'll take that over the several I used to have an hour in the beginning.

I'm still struggling from time to time.  The addiction is strong.  With just over 200 days, I'm still a newbie here.  But I can quit for today.  ODAAT!

PTBQWYT my friends.

[EXBEARHAG]

Day 200

Found myself up early this morning to take my son to school before I had to be at work.  It was early enough to watch the sun rise.  Thankfully, I was alone in the truck when the levity of 200 days hit me.  Together with the sun rise and my newly unstable emotional condition, I lost it.  Not totally unprecedented behavior for me over the last several months.  After some time, i was able to collect myself and reflect on my thoughts.  I was content.  No addict thoughts of "this would be better with a dip"...etc, etc.  For that moment and for the remainder of my ride, i was content...at peace...fulfilled(?)!

Truth is it didn't last long.  Step into work=stress=trigger=crave=my life over the last 200 days.  BUT I was at ease.  I see the dim light.  I'm walking, strutting, running down that tunnel.  I refuse to quit forever (can't even wrap my brain around that).  I can quit for today.  I intend to WUPP tomorrow.  I can hold the line, shoulder to shoulder with my brothers and sisters.

PTBQWYT my friends.

[jsjohnson]

Day 193

Status quo I guess.  Don't feel as though much has changed over the last couple weeks.  Still having lots of cravings.  Almost everything is still a trigger.  I feel as though I'm in a constant funk...the void seems large and deep most of the time.  Still don't feel like myself.

But, I'm STILL quit.  ODAAT!

You got this. One foot in front of the other. The light WILL get brighter at the end of the tunnel. ODAAT.

Thanks Keith.  Your words of wisdom and encourage are more helpful than you think.  Thank you for taking the time to respond when my ups and downs are more down than up.

A very wise Man told me, " Challenges abound ahead.  Hold the line Olcpo.  I'm told the road to freedom is pricey but the reward is invaluable." I'm dealing with funk too. My get-up-and-go got up and went. Shoulder to Shoulder ODAAT PTQWYTB

And that's why this place works!!  Couldn't be any more proud than to hold the line with the likes of you Olcpo, Keith, and the rest of you BA quitters that come in here and unselfishly dole out support to those in need.  That line will not be breached today.  ODAAT

PTBQWYT my friends.

@EXBEARHAG I hear you I get 2 to 3 day funks, then good for a few weeks, I just gotta take it one day at a time.  PTBQWYT Bud!

[EXBEARHAG]

Day 193

Status quo I guess.  Don't feel as though much has changed over the last couple weeks.  Still having lots of cravings.  Almost everything is still a trigger.  I feel as though I'm in a constant funk...the void seems large and deep most of the time.  Still don't feel like myself.

But, I'm STILL quit.  ODAAT!

You got this. One foot in front of the other. The light WILL get brighter at the end of the tunnel. ODAAT.

Thanks Keith.  Your words of wisdom and encourage are more helpful than you think.  Thank you for taking the time to respond when my ups and downs are more down than up.

A very wise Man told me, " Challenges abound ahead.  Hold the line Olcpo.  I'm told the road to freedom is pricey but the reward is invaluable." I'm dealing with funk too. My get-up-and-go got up and went. Shoulder to Shoulder ODAAT PTQWYTB

And that's why this place works!!  Couldn't be any more proud than to hold the line with the likes of you Olcpo, Keith, and the rest of you BA quitters that come in here and unselfishly dole out support to those in need.  That line will not be breached today.  ODAAT

PTBQWYT my friends.

[olcpo]

Day 193

Status quo I guess.  Don't feel as though much has changed over the last couple weeks.  Still having lots of cravings.  Almost everything is still a trigger.  I feel as though I'm in a constant funk...the void seems large and deep most of the time.  Still don't feel like myself.

But, I'm STILL quit.  ODAAT!

You got this. One foot in front of the other. The light WILL get brighter at the end of the tunnel. ODAAT.

Thanks Keith.  Your words of wisdom and encourage are more helpful than you think.  Thank you for taking the time to respond when my ups and downs are more down than up.

A very wise Man told me, " Challenges abound ahead.  Hold the line Olcpo.  I'm told the road to freedom is pricey but the reward is invaluable." I'm dealing with funk too. My get-up-and-go got up and went. Shoulder to Shoulder ODAAT PTQWYTB

[EXBEARHAG]

Day 193

Status quo I guess.  Don't feel as though much has changed over the last couple weeks.  Still having lots of cravings.  Almost everything is still a trigger.  I feel as though I'm in a constant funk...the void seems large and deep most of the time.  Still don't feel like myself.

But, I'm STILL quit.  ODAAT!

You got this. One foot in front of the other. The light WILL get brighter at the end of the tunnel. ODAAT.

Thanks Keith.  Your words of wisdom and encourage are more helpful than you think.  Thank you for taking the time to respond when my ups and downs are more down than up.

[Keith0617]

Day 193

Status quo I guess.  Don't feel as though much has changed over the last couple weeks.  Still having lots of cravings.  Almost everything is still a trigger.  I feel as though I'm in a constant funk...the void seems large and deep most of the time.  Still don't feel like myself.

But, I'm STILL quit.  ODAAT!

You got this. One foot in front of the other. The light WILL get brighter at the end of the tunnel. ODAAT.