***Repost from my October BAQ Thread***
I started using fake chew around day 33, it helps with my mouth boredom. Fake chew makes me feel like I'm cheating and it totally defeats the cravings for me, I use it whenever I'm studying. Fake chew also makes me less of an asshole in real life as well. I'm not stressing about getting off of my substitute at the moment because I feel like that will happen with time, and as long as its not nicotine or tobacco its fair game. My chewing addiction was very under the radar, very few people outside of my inner circle knew that I chewed at all. So, most of the times in public I'm not using my substitute nor do I really have a desire to because I was always uncomfortable chewing real chew in public.
I thought that was interesting, imagining the situation in which you would relapse. I think my scenario would involve drinking as well or a very dramatic life event. In particular, I'd imagine my relapse would be with some of my very close friends that I used to chew with ALL the time. They know I've quit and have respected my quit, in fact when they chew when we're drinking they've said they would not allow me to have any of their chew. But, I know maybe one day they will say "well you're not addicted anymore one chew for old times sake won't hurt, right?", and that's where NAFAR comes into play. The other scenario, terrible life event. Well, that's just life and shit happens so that terrible life event is bound to happen soon, and again NAFAR comes into play.
One of the most important pieces of advice I've taken from this website is 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
I know chew doesn't make me a better person, it doesn't solve any of my problems, nor does it make me concentrate better.
I have a mental note of the top 10 issues in my life right now, and I prioritize these issues based on urgency and whether or not they can be resolved. There's not a single issue on my list that could be solved by chew.
Sometimes, I think "man chew would make this current dilemma I'm in so much easier to handle, I would be so much more at peace", but that's just addict talk. Chew won't make anything better for me, rather it will just make things worse. If chew came into play again, I would be a sorry sob totally reliant on a stupid can in order to make it through any of life's struggles.
Now that my withdrawal symptoms have significantly subsided, I find myself thinking clearer and performing better. Do I have a lot of anxiety? Yes, at times I do, but I feel that is mainly anxiety that I have unnecessarily created myself. I still have a long ways to go, but I have become a lot more mindful of myself and my emotions.
Like the old saying "time heals everything", I believe this is especially true for our addictions. Our addiction is an illness. We are sick, and WUPP is our daily medication. As long as we stay true and take our daily medication we will get better in time. We quit one day at a time and we improve one day at a time.
I also agree that it helps to check in on the fresh quit groups. Even now at day 53 I'm beginning to forget the struggles of the early quit, how indescribably painful it was at times. So, looking in on the newer guys serves as a reminder to me of how hard the battles were fought and won in the early days. I've never experienced anything like those early days before, hell I literally doubted my ability to go through an airport and board my plane on day 5 of my quit, that's how bad it was!
That's all I have for now, I appreciate all the insights and the people that took the time out of their evening to share their experiences.
Carry on October and fellow quitters
