i'm ready, not ready, just do it

[ZillahCowboy]

Good job KD2 on posting roll. 8 days is huge. The shit is out of your system, so now you just have to manage the triggers. It can be done. Keep up the good work.
ZillahCowboy - 2080 days
April ‘14

[Robisdone]

Day 7 and it started out fine texting folks day count and messaging little promises upon waking and doing roll...then I have a fake dip (it arrived yesterday in the mail and it’s my new favorite thing never had tried it before ... what would have been the point?) shower and realize I’m like 30mins ahead of schedule...no 30 min crap to juice the k bear that would normally be setting the tone for the disgusting flavor my mouth would have for the rest of the day. Anyway arrive to work and in stead of putting in gum and munching that like I had the previous days this week... I do an upper of hooch and get to starting some tasks I try, lose concentration figure it out then lose it again like this for 8 hours...I was in a call and I think the lady thought I was seriously dumb because I was saying everything I was doing to keep myself strait and not f up. Anyway finally leaving driving home was a challenge. Widening my eyes and refocusing and repeating while trying not to pay attention to the tension headache forming around my temples. I get home crush some water and I lay on the couch...five mins and the family arrives...my two year old runs in Daddy I have donuts...great to see him and love to want to be with him as long as I can on this earth. I promise to quit hard with December and everyone today.

That’s what it’s all about brother gotta stick with it and stay alive for our kids. Hardest thing for me is driving past the gas stations that would fuel my habits.

[wildirish317]

You're rockin' this!  Post some of this in the forum so that your quit brothers can see that they are not alone.

[KD2]

Day 7 and it started out fine texting folks day count and messaging little promises upon waking and doing roll...then I have a fake dip (it arrived yesterday in the mail and it’s my new favorite thing never had tried it before ... what would have been the point?) shower and realize I’m like 30mins ahead of schedule...no 30 min crap to juice the k bear that would normally be setting the tone for the disgusting flavor my mouth would have for the rest of the day. Anyway arrive to work and in stead of putting in gum and munching that like I had the previous days this week... I do an upper of hooch and get to starting some tasks I try, lose concentration figure it out then lose it again like this for 8 hours...I was in a call and I think the lady thought I was seriously dumb because I was saying everything I was doing to keep myself strait and not f up. Anyway finally leaving driving home was a challenge. Widening my eyes and refocusing and repeating while trying not to pay attention to the tension headache forming around my temples. I get home crush some water and I lay on the couch...five mins and the family arrives...my two year old runs in Daddy I have donuts...great to see him and love to want to be with him as long as I can on this earth. I promise to quit hard with December and everyone today.

[Falcon67]

Nice job today WUPP!!  Leading the roll -- way to go!  Be the leader for your group - this will strengthen your own quit.

Habits and routine are tough -- you need to make new ones without nicotine.  21 days to make a habit!  Practice the new routine everyday for 21 days to make it stick and wipe out the old one.

You CAN do this and ARE doing this -- One day at a time!

Proud to quit with you today!

[KD2]

Thanks y’all for all your responses. I quit right after writing that, threw out the gum....and posted roll the next morning. Almost completing day 5 and feeling ok. I’ve shown myself I can function and just need to promise every day. My concentration is still shaky but I’m ok. Do I miss it? No. I do miss having something to look forward to each night at least (even though I had one in most of the day). It’s a new routine I need to find before going to bed...when I’m busy during the day it’s good. When I’m home with the wife and kids I feel good... now I’m with them more this week I’m noticing which is good but just not ready to go to sleep. But I get in bed anyway to get to post again when I get up. I woke up this morning reciting WUPP, WUPP....look forward to quiting with you all tomorrow!

[Falcon67]

Nice job on the WUPP today.  That's the trick post early and KEEP your promise.  Remember you are promising not to use ANY nicotine for this one day to yourself, your group brothers and sisters and to this entire KTC community.  That is the glue that holds ALL of our promises and keeps us all QUIT.

YOU CAN Do this.  It is one day quit at a time.

Proud to quit with you today!

[DesertDweller]

Glad to see you you posted roll. I didn't plan my quit. Woke up the day after my NFL draft hung over (last years draft) and I knew I wanted to quit. One thing I have come to realize in my own quit is alcohol was one of the biggest triggers for me. I drank a couple times the first couple hundred days and woke up praying I didn't cave after having dreams that I did. Scared me beyond belief! I knew right then I had to stop drinking while I was going through this quit. I'm a little over a year and while I still have craves when I drink, I can handle them.

You have to ask yourself, is drinking more important to you than quitting the cat turd that most likely will f*ck something up in your life at some point. For me, it was so worth putting off drinking.

I'm proud to quit with you and we do this one damn day at a time!

[Zeus]

I am 907 days quit today and I started just like you. Wildirish is so very right in saying  the door is unlocked and wide open, and all it takes is for you to walk out.

You are walking out into the sunshine. It burns your eyes for a while, but a whole new life opens up. One free of the slavery of addiction.

I promise- you won't die from quitting. You can quit this instant and be successful. It feels like riding a bike for the first time. It feels impossible, like you have to crash. Keep pedaling, and off you go. When you feel the freedom, it will make you giddy.

[Oliver88]

We all know the emotional rollercoaster. I never thought I'd find solid ground but it's getting more so every day.
       Do role, take nicotine off the table and go through the following minutes for the rest of day knowing the addict mind is going to throw all it can at you; sometimes out of no where.
      The key word is mind.... It's your mind; not separate from you. Watch your thoughts and find ways to turn them. round. This is something I've learned later. For right now chew gum, keep hands occupied. I would pack my lip with Old Bay Seasoning. It's very hot and would take my mind away from addict thoughts to the burn on my lip. I discovered this also. I dipped rather than deal with emotional stuff. And boy did I dip. Almost 30 years, 2 cans of kodiak a day, a spit cup by the bed.  I am 769 days quit today and started just like you!

[wildirish317]

Tomorrow never comes. 

That's what hit home to me over 3.5 years ago, 1283 days, to be exact.

If you want to quit, then quit.  The only thing stopping you is you. 

Hint:  You are in control.  Only you.

You've complicated a very simple situation.  Just quit.  Don't worry about it.  We all did this.  We complicated a simple situation.

Just walk out of the friggin' cage.  The door is open, we just don't see it.  Even after we're out, we have to spend time to adjust, and realize it was that easy.  Yet, it's that friggin' hard.

That's why we do it every day.

You only have to quit for today.  Anyone can quit for a day.  Even me.  I've done it for 1283 days today.

Tomorrow never comes.

Quit for today.

[KD2]

I've been planning my quit for several weeks. I went to a general doctor a month ago and really came clean for the first time to anyone about the truth of my addiction of 22 years. A few years ago I'd stopped dipping but just switched the addiction to nicotine gum for about a year until i caved back into the can.

I am so anxious about quitting I think i've over prepared. I got a prescription to wellbutrin which i've been taking for three weeks now. My plan was to do the gum for a week and then go cold turkey off the gum. My last dip was sun night so five days ago but i've been chewing nic gum gradually less each day this week...so it's going as planned. On Monday i chewed like  more than 10 pieces and today, Friday, i've had one and a half pieces. I've been feeling pretty crappy all week even though i haven't officially started my nicotine quit. Just the nicotine dosage is way low and missing whatever other chemicals are in Kodiak. My plan is to start the official quit with no more gum and post roll for the first time on Monday ...but now today I read a post where everyone was encouraging someone to just quit now asking why are you waiting...and i'm asking myself the same question. I told my wife maybe i should just post roll tomorrow for the first time and start it and she said just stick with your plan for Monday...but I just want to keep this momentum going and not prolong the fog i'm already in.

I've cried incomprehensible tears three times to my wife this week....and once in the middle of writing this. I am full of emotion and can't explain it to her. I don't want to be a jerk to my wife or kids but it's been tough to take a breath and react properly. Driving home from work i tried to get some hooch at a place it's supposed to be sold at, but they didn't have any to my disappointment. I got seed in stead and went back to the car and ordered the hooch to be delivered. The'll arrive sometime next week.

I'm so looking forward to posting roll and don't want to delay anymore with this gum. I've been monitoring the December group and that's what makes me tear up is seeing yall with that number after your name and i'm not in it.

I told my wife i wouldn't drink for probably at least 50 days and she reacted oh well what about the wedding we're going to in a few weeks,  people will ask (but then she quickly realized that wasn't the right reaction and fixed it)...and even this weekend on Sunday we're going to a party and she asked well you'l be able to drink and i thought well yea i'll still be using the gum that day...but i don't want to drink on Sunday and crush a bunch of gum right before my scheduled quit day on Monday.