Author Topic: Hidden habit  (Read 7776 times)

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Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #110 on: January 02, 2021, 01:02:16 PM »
     Day 434
   I had never felt some of these things...at times the anxiety, or whatever it is, has felt overwhelming and exhausting. Time after time I tried to find a “reason” why I felt that way. But, I’m finally realizing it’s a part of me… it’s just a part I never felt before. A part of me that I kept in submission with addictions. Most of us were just kids when we began to flood our bodies with chemicals. And we dealt with a lot of things in the time between. I challenge you to challenge your thinking.
"We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." —Albert Einstein

       Even though the waves of anxiety still come, I am learning I don’t have to fear or dwell or even fix. I can embrace it...because my nervous system is finally working as it should have been all my life. Now, I know I can learn to handle things in healthy ways… and that is truly empowering.

      This, isn’t just stopping the use of a chemical, for me - it is a process of peeling off the layers of guilt and shame that I have stacked on and intertwined through the stages of life...it is about forgiving myself ... learning to value myself...breaking the cycle of lying, hiding, pushing people away...even pushing God away.

      I am so thankful for this journey, thankful for renewed Faith, thankful to you all who have been a part of it, because …I know... I never would have forced myself to see how deep these roots are without you all. Life is good. Holdin the line. Pressin on. Better person every day. Love you guys. Thank you.
   

Profound as usual Kaper.  You often describe how I'm feeling and where I'm at better than I can.  As you know, my experience has been similar.  I love where your head is here.  I'm on board!!  I've changed my behavior.  Now it's time to accept the new me...which, has always been, just ME. 

Holding the line with you my friend

~HAG

Offline ankape

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #109 on: December 31, 2020, 09:54:26 PM »
     Day 434
   I had never felt some of these things...at times the anxiety, or whatever it is, has felt overwhelming and exhausting. Time after time I tried to find a “reason” why I felt that way. But, I’m finally realizing it’s a part of me… it’s just a part I never felt before. A part of me that I kept in submission with addictions. Most of us were just kids when we began to flood our bodies with chemicals. And we dealt with a lot of things in the time between. I challenge you to challenge your thinking.
"We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." —Albert Einstein

       Even though the waves of anxiety still come, I am learning I don’t have to fear or dwell or even fix. I can embrace it...because my nervous system is finally working as it should have been all my life. Now, I know I can learn to handle things in healthy ways… and that is truly empowering.

      This, isn’t just stopping the use of a chemical, for me - it is a process of peeling off the layers of guilt and shame that I have stacked on and intertwined through the stages of life...it is about forgiving myself ... learning to value myself...breaking the cycle of lying, hiding, pushing people away...even pushing God away.

      I am so thankful for this journey, thankful for renewed Faith, thankful to you all who have been a part of it, because …I know... I never would have forced myself to see how deep these roots are without you all. Life is good. Holdin the line. Pressin on. Better person every day. Love you guys. Thank you.
     

Online Keith0617

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #108 on: October 25, 2020, 11:17:40 AM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
Congrats @ankape !!!  One year is an amazing feat.  Keep slaying the bitch.

Love this post.  Congrats ankape!   8)
It's so much more.
If we look, we find it.
Great post.
Congrats on the 1 trip around the sun. I'll be back tomorrow to celebrate your quitversary. Roflmao
Excellent post brother. Thanks for sharing, and congratulations. It keeps getting better from here.
Love the post. Keep doing you!!
Jan19

Offline worktowin

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #107 on: October 25, 2020, 04:10:32 AM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
Congrats @ankape !!!  One year is an amazing feat.  Keep slaying the bitch.

Love this post.  Congrats ankape!   8)
It's so much more.
If we look, we find it.
Great post.
Congrats on the 1 trip around the sun. I'll be back tomorrow to celebrate your quitversary. Roflmao
Excellent post brother. Thanks for sharing, and congratulations. It keeps getting better from here.

Offline ChickDip

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #106 on: October 24, 2020, 02:10:46 PM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
Congrats @ankape !!!  One year is an amazing feat.  Keep slaying the bitch.

Love this post.  Congrats ankape!   8)
It's so much more.
If we look, we find it.
Great post.
Congrats on the 1 trip around the sun. I'll be back tomorrow to celebrate your quitversary. Roflmao
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

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Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #105 on: October 24, 2020, 12:36:24 PM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.

Although you are exactly 101 days behind me in quit, you are years ahead of me in quit inspiration.  Your last line, "Quitting works one day at a time and so does living", is an absolute truism and something that I need to remind myself of on a daily basis.  As always, your perspective is spot on and timely.  You keep going Girl. 
« Last Edit: October 24, 2020, 12:38:35 PM by EXBEARHAG »

Offline 69franx

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #104 on: October 24, 2020, 08:07:08 AM »
Congratulations on one year free!
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Offline Athan

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #103 on: October 24, 2020, 05:57:21 AM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
I labored through a valley of tears for a treasure I wanted to see,
Lo and behold, when my journey was through, the treasure I found was me.
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Offline Stranger999

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #102 on: October 23, 2020, 11:40:07 PM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
Congrats @ankape !!!  One year is an amazing feat.  Keep slaying the bitch.

Love this post.  Congrats ankape!   8)

Offline BluManChew

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #101 on: October 23, 2020, 10:07:02 PM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.
Congrats @ankape !!!  One year is an amazing feat.  Keep slaying the bitch.


Offline ankape

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #100 on: October 23, 2020, 07:59:28 PM »
Day 365

Last night I read a story to my kids about some amazing, heroic rescues. Later, I started reflecting on the efforts...the sacrifices some humans will make to save others, without question. Whether it is many or one, often or rare, whether it is seen or unseen, loudly, quietly, quickly, arduously, however. All are so valuable. This place, this community, and the REAL people behind these screens- save lives...and improve lives...if we choose to allow it.

Humbled. I wish I could start over with the knowledge I’ve gained this year. Knowledge about myself, others and about life in general.  Easy? Definitely not. Regrets?...for sure, but...gotta move forward and appreciate regrets as proof of growth. Worth it? YES!

This experience has improved my life in ways I never could have imagined at this time last year. When I joined, I had two people in my life who knew about my battle with addiction. This year has given me the confidence to open up to friends and family. That was extremely hard at first, I felt so guilty about it, but it has actually healed relationships I didn’t even realize were lacking. This year I get to celebrate with my family and friends! I can’t even express how huge that is for me.
I came here to quit nicotine, but I have to admit- it’s deeper than I realized.
Quitting works one day at a time and so does living.

Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #99 on: August 21, 2020, 05:59:14 PM »
Congrats on hitting 300 days quit. Keep ping you and let the days add up. Proud to quit with you.
Lovin the 300 for you Ankape. Success breeds success - you're the fuel in the gas tank of quit for so many. Keep on quittin!
'party2' 'party2' 'party2'

KAPER is the real deal!!!!!  Congratulations on the new floor and keep doing what you do here - KTC would NOT be the same without you!!!

Congratulations on 300!!  I agree with FLLip you are the real deal!!  Keep it up lady!
Way to power through Miss Ankape!! 'lift'
Woop woop way to go Ankape. Thats inspiring just seeing you win. Soon have 200 under my belt and everyday its gets easier. Keep up the fight as more people are watching then you think.
Congrats on 300!  Huge milestone!  PTQWYT

BMC 1,048

Congrats girl.  Hold the line!!

Offline BluManChew

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #98 on: August 20, 2020, 05:28:05 PM »
Congrats on hitting 300 days quit. Keep ping you and let the days add up. Proud to quit with you.
Lovin the 300 for you Ankape. Success breeds success - you're the fuel in the gas tank of quit for so many. Keep on quittin!
'party2' 'party2' 'party2'

KAPER is the real deal!!!!!  Congratulations on the new floor and keep doing what you do here - KTC would NOT be the same without you!!!

Congratulations on 300!!  I agree with FLLip you are the real deal!!  Keep it up lady!
Way to power through Miss Ankape!! 'lift'
Woop woop way to go Ankape. Thats inspiring just seeing you win. Soon have 200 under my belt and everyday its gets easier. Keep up the fight as more people are watching then you think.
Congrats on 300!  Huge milestone!  PTQWYT

BMC 1,048

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #97 on: August 20, 2020, 05:19:10 PM »
Congrats on hitting 300 days quit. Keep ping you and let the days add up. Proud to quit with you.
Lovin the 300 for you Ankape. Success breeds success - you're the fuel in the gas tank of quit for so many. Keep on quittin!
'party2' 'party2' 'party2'

KAPER is the real deal!!!!!  Congratulations on the new floor and keep doing what you do here - KTC would NOT be the same without you!!!

Congratulations on 300!!  I agree with FLLip you are the real deal!!  Keep it up lady!
Way to power through Miss Ankape!! 'lift'
Woop woop way to go Ankape. Thats inspiring just seeing you win. Soon have 200 under my belt and everyday its gets easier. Keep up the fight as more people are watching then you think.

Offline ChickDip

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Re: Hidden habit
« Reply #96 on: August 20, 2020, 12:11:26 PM »
Congrats on hitting 300 days quit. Keep ping you and let the days add up. Proud to quit with you.
Lovin the 300 for you Ankape. Success breeds success - you're the fuel in the gas tank of quit for so many. Keep on quittin!
'party2' 'party2' 'party2'

KAPER is the real deal!!!!!  Congratulations on the new floor and keep doing what you do here - KTC would NOT be the same without you!!!

Congratulations on 300!!  I agree with FLLip you are the real deal!!  Keep it up lady!
Way to power through Miss Ankape!! 'lift'
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

my intro / my HOF speech / my comma club
Building a Strong Quit / My HOF Day