Day 434
I had never felt some of these things...at times the anxiety, or whatever it is, has felt overwhelming and exhausting. Time after time I tried to find a “reason” why I felt that way. But, I’m finally realizing it’s a part of me… it’s just a part I never felt before. A part of me that I kept in submission with addictions. Most of us were just kids when we began to flood our bodies with chemicals. And we dealt with a lot of things in the time between. I challenge you to challenge your thinking.
"We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." —Albert Einstein
Even though the waves of anxiety still come, I am learning I don’t have to fear or dwell or even fix. I can embrace it...because my nervous system is finally working as it should have been all my life. Now, I know I can learn to handle things in healthy ways… and that is truly empowering.
This, isn’t just stopping the use of a chemical, for me - it is a process of peeling off the layers of guilt and shame that I have stacked on and intertwined through the stages of life...it is about forgiving myself ... learning to value myself...breaking the cycle of lying, hiding, pushing people away...even pushing God away.
I am so thankful for this journey, thankful for renewed Faith, thankful to you all who have been a part of it, because …I know... I never would have forced myself to see how deep these roots are without you all. Life is good. Holdin the line. Pressin on. Better person every day. Love you guys. Thank you.