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Garbage feeling

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69franx:
Great stuff brother,  thanx for sharing

Thefranks5:
266/16 NNTOFS
So I have come to a conclusion for my experiment and wow I was surprised. So as some know the first number 266 is quit days, the second number 16 is no fake stuff used days and OFS is "or fake stuff". I was so surprised by how the fake stuff had an impact not only on my physical health but mental health. I am no longer dealing with the throat issues from the vinegar or cayenne powder, not having the upset stomach issues and no longer feel like I am burning up at the end of the day. I still have those massive craves and anxiety attacks after eating thinking I need a lipper but now its time for a stick of gum and let the saliva flow for digestion. Those triggers are interesting as I can see them coming and actually can get thru them with little issues. I still deal with the boredom when driving so I do lean on pumpkin seeds pretty hard yet. No longer have that mourning/lost close friend feeling which is great so I do believe that we need closure on our quit as it was such a huge part of life for many of us for a long time.
 Having to deal with a middle ear infection that has affected both ears has been no fun ride. On the 3rd med now for it and I am seeing relief but anxiety/panic attacks is super high because of the side effects and I hate taking meds for that reason. This has been a long ride on this quit and its not done yet but we are staying the course. Many have had issues for many months after their quit and I do believe that the chemicals in that crap have changed our own chemical composition. Will we be able to repair that damage I have no clue but it is different for everybody on the extent of damage.
So I hope this helps somebody in their quit but if not it at least gave them something to read and pass the time. Keep the quit going and reach out to your help when needed. If you have no help and want some send me a pm and we can share digits. We need the help more then we think so don't fool yourself thinking you can go it alone. Until next time stay strong, stay QUIT and God bless.

Thefranks5:

--- Quote from: EXBEARHAG on November 15, 2020, 09:58:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Thefranks5 on November 11, 2020, 07:20:52 AM ---
--- Quote from: stillbrewing on November 11, 2020, 03:22:18 AM ---
--- Quote from: Thefranks5 on November 10, 2020, 07:59:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Athan on November 10, 2020, 07:20:00 PM ---So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought

--- End quote ---
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.

--- End quote ---
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!

--- End quote ---
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

--- End quote ---

Hey TF5- Great post.  Love it when you blog it out. 

Thankfully I never had the issues with my digestion.  I do however, have the anxiety and feeling of mourning in spades.  I never had a whiff of anxiety before my Nic stoppage...at least I never really noticed it.  I now wonder if it was always there to some extent but I was self medicating with Nic and never really knew it.  Now I wake up ~2hrs before my alarm on work days in a cold sweat and racing heart.  That's been fun!!  The good news is that this anxiety used to come every day and would last several hours into the afternoon.  Now I'm down to about 2 days a week and it's mostly gone within an hour of me waking/starting my routine.  Hope springs eternal...hopefully this too will pass.

The feeling of mourning is a bit different.  I often feel as if I'm missing something during the day; multiple times a day.  I feel a void that usually comes with a feeling of impending doom.  Usually this feeling comes and goes, even if it happens multiple times a day.  Some days, like today, it lingers and leaves me searching for a work around.  In the past, this is when I'd cave.  Now, I use my tools and reach out and make it to another moment.

I use fake a couple times a week but, as you say, it's a poor replacement.  I used to leave dips in for hours.  Now, once my brain realizes it's the fake shit in my lip, it loses interest and I usually spit it out within minutes.  I've learned to live with the itch and I've accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to scratch it again.  Such is OUR new lives.  I pray that the itch loses some of it's persistence in the future.

Hope this rambling helps TF.  One thing I'm absolutely sure of amongst this mess is that when I/we need someone to lean on, I can always find a brother or sister here at KTC to carry some of my burden and see me through to the next moment.  And that's what it's all about...OMAAT!!

Hold the line my friends

~HAG

--- End quote ---
My exact thoughts Hag as yes after 8 days there has been a big change. I had that stuffing the fake in to replace that constant nag of the oral. I ended up with burning mouth/throat, unsettled stomach and dry headaches like I used to get early in my quit. The fake just didn't do the trick for me anymore and just was such a bother. Much better now but still have the nags but I feel its mind or matter now. Talking to Muleman and Stillbrewing actually helped me tremendously on that decision.

I did have that mourning/lost feeling ever since I quit. I never could put my finger on what it could be that I was feeling until I read somebody elses post regarding that. Can't remember who wrote it though dang it. After having some sort of tobacco product running threw my veins for 30 plus years I realized that it was just another part of my brain having to fix itself. I put a closure on that chapter and man do I feel better but in no way am I saying that I am better then anybody in that aspect. I have respect for those that need a little help getting thru it. I am married to an awesome lady that has serious anxiety issues so she is well versed on getting by without meds. We use essential oils to help cope as her brother and sister are on the meds and her sister has issues with the side affects. My wife said none of that for me so I have learned to adapt which was a challenge in itself.

Having a support group that will help you and CALL you out is awesome. I have absolutely enjoyed being part of KTC and find neat things about the site all the time. I try to be a good influence and mentor to whom ever will let me but the one that I am most proud of right now is my nephew. I am sure that my brother and I are the reason he started chewing and since I made my quit announcement to the family it sparked his interest. I think his momma is the one that really went after him but at this time he is 33 days quit. I have tried to get him on the site and be part of it but I understand his worries. I do share as much as I can from the site so he sees it. We can only do so much as its on them. Just like the attrition rate here at KTC we are not going to save them all but we need to keep fighting to keep the ones we do have.

PTBQWYT ODAAT and NNTOFS
Thanks for reading what little my mind has to offer and as always Stay Quit, Stay Safe and God Bless!

EXBEARHAG:

--- Quote from: Thefranks5 on November 11, 2020, 07:20:52 AM ---
--- Quote from: stillbrewing on November 11, 2020, 03:22:18 AM ---
--- Quote from: Thefranks5 on November 10, 2020, 07:59:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Athan on November 10, 2020, 07:20:00 PM ---So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought

--- End quote ---
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.

--- End quote ---
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!

--- End quote ---
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

--- End quote ---

Hey TF5- Great post.  Love it when you blog it out. 

Thankfully I never had the issues with my digestion.  I do however, have the anxiety and feeling of mourning in spades.  I never had a whiff of anxiety before my Nic stoppage...at least I never really noticed it.  I now wonder if it was always there to some extent but I was self medicating with Nic and never really knew it.  Now I wake up ~2hrs before my alarm on work days in a cold sweat and racing heart.  That's been fun!!  The good news is that this anxiety used to come every day and would last several hours into the afternoon.  Now I'm down to about 2 days a week and it's mostly gone within an hour of me waking/starting my routine.  Hope springs eternal...hopefully this too will pass.

The feeling of mourning is a bit different.  I often feel as if I'm missing something during the day; multiple times a day.  I feel a void that usually comes with a feeling of impending doom.  Usually this feeling comes and goes, even if it happens multiple times a day.  Some days, like today, it lingers and leaves me searching for a work around.  In the past, this is when I'd cave.  Now, I use my tools and reach out and make it to another moment.

I use fake a couple times a week but, as you say, it's a poor replacement.  I used to leave dips in for hours.  Now, once my brain realizes it's the fake shit in my lip, it loses interest and I usually spit it out within minutes.  I've learned to live with the itch and I've accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to scratch it again.  Such is OUR new lives.  I pray that the itch loses some of it's persistence in the future.

Hope this rambling helps TF.  One thing I'm absolutely sure of amongst this mess is that when I/we need someone to lean on, I can always find a brother or sister here at KTC to carry some of my burden and see me through to the next moment.  And that's what it's all about...OMAAT!!

Hold the line my friends

~HAG

Thefranks5:

--- Quote from: stillbrewing on November 11, 2020, 03:22:18 AM ---
--- Quote from: Thefranks5 on November 10, 2020, 07:59:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Athan on November 10, 2020, 07:20:00 PM ---So I would like to know:
1- is this what some of you are feeling (maybe some can relate)
I've had some reflux late at night recently though I don't recall it earlier
2- do you also feel like your in mourning (adds to my anxiety/depression issues)
well, 1,045 days in and I do get 'just one' thoughts. Not so much mourning as a desire for an old girlfriend kinda thing
3- did you use fake and for how long (250 days for me)
I used cinnamon sticks and still do from time to time. It was all day every day at first. Now I go days without them
4- physically how you feeling, any new things that quitting helped you find (Mine was silent reflux which I had for years but never new what caused the symptoms I had)
I've gained so much weight that the Coast Guard called and offered me a job as a navigational landmark, though I think that's more due to the gym shutdown for CoVid
5- did anybody utilize meds? (I had the prescription filled and in my hand but never used it)
I tried Chantix years ago but didn't like the effect it had on my cognitive thought

--- End quote ---
Thanks Athan, I like the navigational landmark thats funny.

--- End quote ---
Thanks for the shout out Doug and I appreciate all your support to reinforce my quit. 
When I quit, I had severe anxiety and a horrible sense of loss, like just losing a friend of 37 years.  Initially I tried all different brands of fake stuff but they were all a sad replacement for what my brain craved.  The fake did help some with the oral fixation thing and when I used alcohol, but it was a shitty replacement for the real thing and my brain knew it. I gave up on fake for a minute as my quit progressed and it seemed to actually reset my head.  I was visiting family in western PA where dipping and boozing go hand in hand.  I picked up some SM just to make sure I had a crutch if things got difficult.  That SM was great as my brain seemed to forget what cope long cut really used to taste like.  Anyway, fast forward to the present, I still use SM probably a few times a week.  My head will still crave the real stuff as I hit a trigger but it is quickly dismissed.
The anxiety was so bad that about four weeks into my quit I went to my doc and got a script for Wellbutrin.  That drug was like a miracle taking away most of the anxiety and I had no noticeable side effects.  I took it for about 2 months.  I also use protonix daily for GERD.  My diet sucks so life without it would be miserable.
I had many bad days from days 200-300.  Since I hit 300, it has been like the sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day.  I feel great physically and mentally. 
The best advice I can give you is hang in there my friend because better days are ahead.  I feel that your heavy use of the fake stuff is a major part of your problem with reflux.  That nic demon will always have its hooks in all of us, but I think you are on the right track.  Give up on the fake stuff for now...use gum or whatever for that oral fixation thing and don't worry about the weight gain.  @Athan, you are on my travel list for 2021..at least I won't have a hard time finding you!

--- End quote ---
As usual the puddin man delivered, lol. Thank you bud as this is very valuable info not only for me but for any addict that happens to find this feed.

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