Garbage feeling

[Keith0617]

.... I have busted my butt for 180 days to stay nicotine free....

SIX MONTHS IS YUGE!!!

Congrats @Thefranks5.  You are killing it.

[Athan]

.... I have busted my butt for 180 days to stay nicotine free....

SIX MONTHS IS YUGE!!!

[Thefranks5]

As we stroll thru our new quit life we hope and pray we get better. Physical issues seem to drag on, mental issues seem to drag on and when the stress hits it seems like the bottom is just taken right out from under you. I have busted my butt for 180 days to stay nicotine free. I will keep busting my butt to keep them days going.
But somedays are definitely harder then the others. For 30 plus years I packed a lip to get by through whatever I faced. Starting over after all those years is no easy task and every persons quit will be be different. Why do some have an easier time then others even though they chewed the same amount of time? Why do some people like myself go from one issue to the next? My buddy in Colorado can relate to my situation. @Whatsupsnapper has had a very difficult time with his quit also and has been a lifesaver for me. My family is going thru a huge change as we are becoming foster parents to a young man that just needs a stable house to live in. It is a new chapter in our families life and I am going to complete this tobacco  free. As we go thru our battles we always have God on our side as he will never leave or forsake us. I want to thank all of my new family on KTC because without you I never would have gone this far. I want to thank God for bringing me to KTC because he knew what I needed to make that change. I pray everyday for all addicts to be able to complete their journey and stay clean. I now ask you for your prayers to strengthen my quit and just to help relieve the stress that I am going thru with life changes. Thank you again and God bless you all.

[Thefranks5]

....It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up...

you got that right. A lot of folks roll on in here because their lips/gums are shredded or they've noticed lesions on their tongue. Then, when their bodies have healed these areas, their fear of cancer departs right along with the symptoms and they fall back into use again. Many fail to realize that there's a lot more damage than what is just visible. The whole GI tract is affected as are the kidneys, spleen, and liver. How about that - you can't pull your spleen out and look at it like you can with your lip. The sooner the addict quits and stays quit the better. Glad you're here.

Agreed @Athan ! 

Also, not just the physical injuries, but the mental damage as well.  Anxiety, coping with social situations, mood swings, irritability, depression.  Once an addict, always an addict....

@Athan  @oldschool  Thank you for adding to my blog. Even at 177 days today the affects of tobacco are still not gone. I today am dealing with the reflux damage in my throat area and when I use my voice alot it really is painful. I still get the crap gut (as I call it) when this are not balanced because my body still has not adapted fully to no tobacco. I still can get some interesting anxiety issues at times but the depression has more or less gone away. I still have concentration and focus issues at times do to stress levels and right now we are having some huge family changes so the stress is super super high. Still getting the headaches which seem to be the clue that my brain has had enough for one day and close to shutting down for the evening. But all in all we are 1000% better at day 177 then day 77 so yes odaat works for sure. We as addicts need to learn the art of patience so that we can deal with all the withdrawal issues and just power thru. But man what a ride to which I never want to do again. But thanks again to all the vets, without your knowledge and help I would have never gone this far. Now using the tools I learned from you its my turn to help the newbies make their quit stick and help them carry the torch. Thanks again everybody and God bless.

[oldschool]

....It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up...

you got that right. A lot of folks roll on in here because their lips/gums are shredded or they've noticed lesions on their tongue. Then, when their bodies have healed these areas, their fear of cancer departs right along with the symptoms and they fall back into use again. Many fail to realize that there's a lot more damage than what is just visible. The whole GI tract is affected as are the kidneys, spleen, and liver. How about that - you can't pull your spleen out and look at it like you can with your lip. The sooner the addict quits and stays quit the better. Glad you're here.

Agreed @Athan ! 

Also, not just the physical injuries, but the mental damage as well.  Anxiety, coping with social situations, mood swings, irritability, depression.  Once an addict, always an addict.... 

[Athan]

....It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up...

you got that right. A lot of folks roll on in here because their lips/gums are shredded or they've noticed lesions on their tongue. Then, when their bodies have healed these areas, their fear of cancer departs right along with the symptoms and they fall back into use again. Many fail to realize that there's a lot more damage than what is just visible. The whole GI tract is affected as are the kidneys, spleen, and liver. How about that - you can't pull your spleen out and look at it like you can with your lip. The sooner the addict quits and stays quit the better. Glad you're here.

[Thefranks5]

Okay just bear with me and this is not to pile on @Croakenhagen. Last night I had another dip dream and told my wife about it over supper tonight which grossed her out and caused her to have pity on me. I dreamed that we had just finished a nice supper and I had a fresh can of grizzly extra long cut natural in my hand and still brand new. I remember well running my finger nail along the lid to cut the paper then doing the old tap on the lid while holding the can in one hand to pack it. I remember trying to perfect the one hand one finger pack slap when I was young. Anyway in the dream which was so vivid that I remember the smell was so strong and smelled so good when that can was opened. I remember taking a humongous amount and stuffed it in my face. Once that taste and texture hit my mouth all hell broke loose.  I could not believe what I had just done and tried to spit it out as fast as I could thinking that I would still be okay. My only thought was get it out and I will not have to tell anybody on KTC what I had done. But as fate would have it my wife was watching me the whole time and I remember her yelling at me for caving and saying go now and post all over KTC that I caved. All I could think about was Croak and what happened to him and how bad I felt for us both. I was so scared because I let everybody down and did not think I could face anybody ever again. I felt the literal words jump off my phone as I received a never ending lashing. I can remember screaming at everybody to leave me alone then I busted out crying because I failed.
I have no clue what had me realize that it was just a dream but it was so real that it scares me just to think of it. I never did wake up but understood that it was a dream and that was it. So even at 170 days in to this there are still crazy things happening mentally and physically. Still trying to get this reflux under control and keep the healing going. Still get goofy pains everyday for no reason around my neck and face area. Then the teeth start to ache, then the tongue hurts and then its gone. As @Whatsupsnapper and I always say if we only knew then what we know now we would have never started. We did this to ourselves and we need to fight thru and pay the quit price. I once again and as always want to thank all the vets who have helped me whether you know it or not. To all the newbies, keep fighting as you will have good days and bad days then the good days start to outnumber the bad. If you have questions keep an intro going as you will be surprised who responds. For all those in the pre HOF and post HOF days I feel your pain and this is a very difficult time because we have been fighting this for a long time. We just want to feel good again and some people have little issues and some have huge issues but we need to keep the fight and WIN. One thing that has been with me the whole time is my faith in Jesus. I do believe that one day we all will answer for what we have done and by golly I want to look at him and say "We quit tobacco together" for there is no way I could have done this without him. I give God thanks everyday for leading me to KTC and now I am leading others to KTC. I pray that all who join will succeed in removing tobacco from their lives and replacing it with Jesus if he isn't already there. Thank you for reading and may God bless you in all of your travels. PTBQWYT!!!!!!

[69franx]

Just a shout out to you all, we are still kicking that cope/grizzly can down the Pennsylvania highway so no need to worry. My sanity is about to run out though, lol. Well almost anyway. I just wanted to say thanks to all the vets who have gone before us and have blogged about there experience. There is no book to help you figure what is going on other then KTC and that is where 99% of my answers have been from. Its been over 100 days that I have been dealing with the effects of silent reflux and if any of you new guys are having throat issues look into silent reflux and get an ent specialist appt. I waited to long by being scared by the pains. Just think, if you did not have pain before you quit do you think the pain is because you quit or something else. Thinking it is something else is very debilitating and I know but still get it checked out. It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up. I know exactly why the failure rate is so high as how many have failed and just go back to chew just so they can feel normal again. Funny thing is, that is not normal to feel that way when you have all the nicotine and other garbage from chew running thru your body. I said to my wife and anybody who would listen "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT NORMAL FEELS LIKE SINCE I AM A 30 YEAR ADDICT". So at 162 days the area from the top of my ribcage up to the top of my head is still having serious issues, some is reflux damage, some is because I kicked the meds out the door and going full on diet and I actually have reflux relapse and of course the ever present and wishing it would just go away withdrawal, fix body, brain issues. Sorry losing focus but thats also another part of this nic crap to deal with. Anyway I again am thanking all the vets, my fellow June 2020 renegades, my quit brothers/sisters and to all you newbies the knowledge is on this site but you need to do the leg work yourself. Just like your quit you are going to have to do it for you. Thanks all and God bless.

Keep doing what you are doing and quit ODAAT. Proud to quit with you.

Great stuff here brother, thanx for sharing

[Keith0617]

Just a shout out to you all, we are still kicking that cope/grizzly can down the Pennsylvania highway so no need to worry. My sanity is about to run out though, lol. Well almost anyway. I just wanted to say thanks to all the vets who have gone before us and have blogged about there experience. There is no book to help you figure what is going on other then KTC and that is where 99% of my answers have been from. Its been over 100 days that I have been dealing with the effects of silent reflux and if any of you new guys are having throat issues look into silent reflux and get an ent specialist appt. I waited to long by being scared by the pains. Just think, if you did not have pain before you quit do you think the pain is because you quit or something else. Thinking it is something else is very debilitating and I know but still get it checked out. It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up. I know exactly why the failure rate is so high as how many have failed and just go back to chew just so they can feel normal again. Funny thing is, that is not normal to feel that way when you have all the nicotine and other garbage from chew running thru your body. I said to my wife and anybody who would listen "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT NORMAL FEELS LIKE SINCE I AM A 30 YEAR ADDICT". So at 162 days the area from the top of my ribcage up to the top of my head is still having serious issues, some is reflux damage, some is because I kicked the meds out the door and going full on diet and I actually have reflux relapse and of course the ever present and wishing it would just go away withdrawal, fix body, brain issues. Sorry losing focus but thats also another part of this nic crap to deal with. Anyway I again am thanking all the vets, my fellow June 2020 renegades, my quit brothers/sisters and to all you newbies the knowledge is on this site but you need to do the leg work yourself. Just like your quit you are going to have to do it for you. Thanks all and God bless.

Keep doing what you are doing and quit ODAAT. Proud to quit with you.

[Thefranks5]

Just a shout out to you all, we are still kicking that cope/grizzly can down the Pennsylvania highway so no need to worry. My sanity is about to run out though, lol. Well almost anyway. I just wanted to say thanks to all the vets who have gone before us and have blogged about there experience. There is no book to help you figure what is going on other then KTC and that is where 99% of my answers have been from. Its been over 100 days that I have been dealing with the effects of silent reflux and if any of you new guys are having throat issues look into silent reflux and get an ent specialist appt. I waited to long by being scared by the pains. Just think, if you did not have pain before you quit do you think the pain is because you quit or something else. Thinking it is something else is very debilitating and I know but still get it checked out. It totally amazing what tobacco does to your body and how long it takes to clean it up. I know exactly why the failure rate is so high as how many have failed and just go back to chew just so they can feel normal again. Funny thing is, that is not normal to feel that way when you have all the nicotine and other garbage from chew running thru your body. I said to my wife and anybody who would listen "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT NORMAL FEELS LIKE SINCE I AM A 30 YEAR ADDICT". So at 162 days the area from the top of my ribcage up to the top of my head is still having serious issues, some is reflux damage, some is because I kicked the meds out the door and going full on diet and I actually have reflux relapse and of course the ever present and wishing it would just go away withdrawal, fix body, brain issues. Sorry losing focus but thats also another part of this nic crap to deal with. Anyway I again am thanking all the vets, my fellow June 2020 renegades, my quit brothers/sisters and to all you newbies the knowledge is on this site but you need to do the leg work yourself. Just like your quit you are going to have to do it for you. Thanks all and God bless.

[stillbrewing]

Well I got to a point that I never thought I would, 150 days quit. All the times that I have tried I never made it more than 30 days. This time I went 78 days before joining KTC thinking I could go it alone. Don't do that no matter how tough you think you are or just do not want strangers telling you what to do like me. So far everything is going super good now that we are getting my silent reflux under control and yes quitting changes not only the ph in your mouth but the ph in your gut. The tobacco covered up an issue I had for years and never could put my finger on it. If you are having reflux issues I would first recommend raising the front of your bed 6 inches so that you would stop refluxing at night, research research research check out wipeoutreflux.com to start, change your diet immediately and stick to your diet with the same strength as your tobacco quit. Its all about the diet and finding what foods/drinks are causing it. I am at 35 days since diet started and I am slowing bringing foods in to see if the are causing reflux, so far so good but its all about moderation.
I still have issues with my quit everyday but trying to heal from pepsin burn is still center stage. My biggest issues are the CRAVES which are constant but after 30 years I don't know any different. I still get weird achy teeth that feel like I just had them cleaned with a grinder (that painful scrapped feeling). The sore gums out of no where along with bottom jaw soreness but both sides at same time. They usually just last a few hours then are gone. Still get foggy and headaches from time to time but nothing like early in quit. I still am really wiped out by end of day and at some times it feels like I should just go to bed. Ever since I quit I have had that feeling and have been going to bed at 9 pm because I just can't keep going. I also get the nagging throat that gets worse by end of day due to pepsin damage that is still healing which helps wear me out. Dip dreams still happen but are getting really weird and are quite vivid. I actually have told myself during the last two dreams that its a dream and I have quit and the dream stops. I am so glad that I finally pulled myself together to make this quit be the last time needed. I have had my inner circle be stretched to accommodate all the new members of what I consider family to be in it. I would never would have been this far and this proud without all my family helping. Thanks to my quit crew The June Renegades of Quit, all the vets who have reached out @Bigdiesel90 @stillbrewing @Mr.Incredible and called me out, to all the newbies @Whatsupsnapper @CoachNewt @Quitter2019 that I have been chatting with as that has helped my quit but the ultimate thanks goes to God. Without his grace I would never had the chance to finally be successful at quitting and now being able to help others. If we lead only one person to the Lord we are doing our job so if we are able to help one person stay quit then we have done our job. For those people we have helped will help others which makes Gods church and tobacco quitters grow. Ok thats enough but thanks again everybody as day 150 feels pretty darn awesome.

promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20

@Thefranks5
I have a lot of the same issues that you are experiencing. 
My diet sucks so I take the easy was out and medicate with Protonix and that eliminates the reflux.  I also can relate to the tiredness.  Since my quit, If I don't get some caffeine after 12pm, I'm wearing out the rumble strips on the side of the highway on the way home from work.  I am exhausted by the end of the day and usually roll into bed at about 8pm.  Two days ago I experienced something that I haven't felt in a long time...nic rage.  For whatever reason, I had been thinking about dip all day.  I drove home from work a raving madman.  I was told that this foolishness can still occur. 
Keep rocking the quit my brother!

[Thefranks5]

Well I got to a point that I never thought I would, 150 days quit. All the times that I have tried I never made it more than 30 days. This time I went 78 days before joining KTC thinking I could go it alone. Don't do that no matter how tough you think you are or just do not want strangers telling you what to do like me. So far everything is going super good now that we are getting my silent reflux under control and yes quitting changes not only the ph in your mouth but the ph in your gut. The tobacco covered up an issue I had for years and never could put my finger on it. If you are having reflux issues I would first recommend raising the front of your bed 6 inches so that you would stop refluxing at night, research research research check out wipeoutreflux.com to start, change your diet immediately and stick to your diet with the same strength as your tobacco quit. Its all about the diet and finding what foods/drinks are causing it. I am at 35 days since diet started and I am slowing bringing foods in to see if the are causing reflux, so far so good but its all about moderation.
I still have issues with my quit everyday but trying to heal from pepsin burn is still center stage. My biggest issues are the CRAVES which are constant but after 30 years I don't know any different. I still get weird achy teeth that feel like I just had them cleaned with a grinder (that painful scrapped feeling). The sore gums out of no where along with bottom jaw soreness but both sides at same time. They usually just last a few hours then are gone. Still get foggy and headaches from time to time but nothing like early in quit. I still am really wiped out by end of day and at some times it feels like I should just go to bed. Ever since I quit I have had that feeling and have been going to bed at 9 pm because I just can't keep going. I also get the nagging throat that gets worse by end of day due to pepsin damage that is still healing which helps wear me out. Dip dreams still happen but are getting really weird and are quite vivid. I actually have told myself during the last two dreams that its a dream and I have quit and the dream stops. I am so glad that I finally pulled myself together to make this quit be the last time needed. I have had my inner circle be stretched to accommodate all the new members of what I consider family to be in it. I would never would have been this far and this proud without all my family helping. Thanks to my quit crew The June Renegades of Quit, all the vets who have reached out @Bigdiesel90 @stillbrewing @Mr.Incredible and called me out, to all the newbies @Whatsupsnapper @CoachNewt @Quitter2019 that I have been chatting with as that has helped my quit but the ultimate thanks goes to God. Without his grace I would never had the chance to finally be successful at quitting and now being able to help others. If we lead only one person to the Lord we are doing our job so if we are able to help one person stay quit then we have done our job. For those people we have helped will help others which makes Gods church and tobacco quitters grow. Ok thats enough but thanks again everybody as day 150 feels pretty darn awesome.

promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20

[GS9502]

Aaaaah the wonderful days of funk. Just when you start to get going good and feeling great nicci shows up. Nicci your timing sucks and your not welcome here.
Anyway been doing really good, watching my diet and actually lost 5 pounds. I have not have a pepsin attack in my upper GI area since early this week. Throat still sore on the adams apple, tender to talk at times and by golly don’t yawn big as that smarts. Over all I would say things are healing.

Then last night, slept good until 3 am and then the weirdest dreams showed up and were very vivid until 5:30 when I got up. I had not them type in weeks so it really surprised me that they showed. Well now I remember what came with those weird dreams. The dreaded FUNK, boy this is a good one. The sinuses hurt, whole mouth hurts (gums, teeth, roof of mouth) throat hurts, headaches, nausea, grouchiness, feels like I am on an all day hangover and that well known all around garbage feeling. So for all the ones coming into their days over 100 you will have good days and bad days. But as they say and I wear it as a badge of honor and pride- EMBRACE THE SUCK. We need to experience this as it is part of the battle we wage against nicotine. Don’t ever let it get you down, reach out to friends, family and your group. I don’t wish this crap on anybody and having to deal with silent reflux on top of my quit has really taken its toll. But just like when our military goes to battle they plan one step at a time. We do one day at a time which is the only way to fight it. So when your turn comes for feeling the weird funk crap that happens you will need to hitch up your suspenders and ride it out. Its not fun, its not glamorous, its not easy but we did this to ourselves. Now we need to pay the price to become clean. I can think of many worse things to be going thru due to our addiction but if this is the extent if it for me then bring it on nicci!!!
All that we experience has been and for some still is experienced by the vets on KTC. I am forever grateful that they shared their experience with us. Now its our time to help the newbies but also to keep our vets strong. Enough for now but we are good, strong in quit and ready for the challenge. Until next time stay safe, stay strong and God bless.

Promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20

Boy, some ding a ling needs to proof read better but I typed this before my nap when the funk was at its peak. Had my nap and feel better but just too lazy right now to fix. Hopefully my english teacher buddy in Georgia will laugh. At least I wasn’t one of his students, lol.

I am available for tutoring. $25 an hour.  Proofreading, too. $10 per page. I'll run a tab for anyone!

[Thefranks5]

Aaaaah the wonderful days of funk. Just when you start to get going good and feeling great nicci shows up. Nicci your timing sucks and your not welcome here.
Anyway been doing really good, watching my diet and actually lost 5 pounds. I have not have a pepsin attack in my upper GI area since early this week. Throat still sore on the adams apple, tender to talk at times and by golly don’t yawn big as that smarts. Over all I would say things are healing.

Then last night, slept good until 3 am and then the weirdest dreams showed up and were very vivid until 5:30 when I got up. I had not them type in weeks so it really surprised me that they showed. Well now I remember what came with those weird dreams. The dreaded FUNK, boy this is a good one. The sinuses hurt, whole mouth hurts (gums, teeth, roof of mouth) throat hurts, headaches, nausea, grouchiness, feels like I am on an all day hangover and that well known all around garbage feeling. So for all the ones coming into their days over 100 you will have good days and bad days. But as they say and I wear it as a badge of honor and pride- EMBRACE THE SUCK. We need to experience this as it is part of the battle we wage against nicotine. Don’t ever let it get you down, reach out to friends, family and your group. I don’t wish this crap on anybody and having to deal with silent reflux on top of my quit has really taken its toll. But just like when our military goes to battle they plan one step at a time. We do one day at a time which is the only way to fight it. So when your turn comes for feeling the weird funk crap that happens you will need to hitch up your suspenders and ride it out. Its not fun, its not glamorous, its not easy but we did this to ourselves. Now we need to pay the price to become clean. I can think of many worse things to be going thru due to our addiction but if this is the extent if it for me then bring it on nicci!!!
All that we experience has been and for some still is experienced by the vets on KTC. I am forever grateful that they shared their experience with us. Now its our time to help the newbies but also to keep our vets strong. Enough for now but we are good, strong in quit and ready for the challenge. Until next time stay safe, stay strong and God bless.

Promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20

Boy, some ding a ling needs to proof read better but I typed this before my nap when the funk was at its peak. Had my nap and feel better but just too lazy right now to fix. Hopefully my english teacher buddy in Georgia will laugh. At least I wasn’t one of his students, lol.

[Thefranks5]

Aaaaah the wonderful days of funk. Just when you start to get going good and feeling great nicci shows up. Nicci your timing sucks and your not welcome here.
Anyway been doing really good, watching my diet and actually lost 5 pounds. I have not have a pepsin attack in my upper GI area since early this week. Throat still sore on the adams apple, tender to talk at times and by golly don’t yawn big as that smarts. Over all I would say things are healing.

Then last night, slept good until 3 am and then the weirdest dreams showed up and were very vivid until 5:30 when I got up. I had not them type in weeks so it really surprised me that they showed. Well now I remember what came with those weird dreams. The dreaded FUNK, boy this is a good one. The sinuses hurt, whole mouth hurts (gums, teeth, roof of mouth) throat hurts, headaches, nausea, grouchiness, feels like I am on an all day hangover and that well known all around garbage feeling. So for all the ones coming into their days over 100 you will have good days and bad days. But as they say and I wear it as a badge of honor and pride- EMBRACE THE SUCK. We need to experience this as it is part of the battle we wage against nicotine. Don’t ever let it get you down, reach out to friends, family and your group. I don’t wish this crap on anybody and having to deal with silent reflux on top of my quit has really taken its toll. But just like when our military goes to battle they plan one step at a time. We do one day at a time which is the only way to fight it. So when your turn comes for feeling the weird funk crap that happens you will need to hitch up your suspenders and ride it out. Its not fun, its not glamorous, its not easy but we did this to ourselves. Now we need to pay the price to become clean. I can think of many worse things to be going thru due to our addiction but if this is the extent if it for me then bring it on nicci!!!
All that we experience has been and for some still is experienced by the vets on KTC. I am forever grateful that they shared their experience with us. Now its our time to help the newbies but also to keep our vets strong. Enough for now but we are good, strong in quit and ready for the challenge. Until next time stay safe, stay strong and God bless.

Promises kept
8/8/98
3/5/20