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Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #22 on: June 30, 2020, 12:10:21 AM »
Day 31

A full long month in.

I read a lot of things in the website and I came across something that should be mandatory reading.

I was born in San Diego and had always been a fan of anything San Diego. The Zoo, Sea World, The Clippers (until they moved to LA), The Chargers (until they moved to LA) and the San Diego Padres. I had the opportunity to play baseball in college and growing up my two sports idols were George Brett and Tony Gwynn, both fantastic Hall of Fame hitters  and both chewers. Today only George is with us and Tony is gone because of his addition to chew. His story should be mandatory as a scare straight approach. You will find the link below.

Don't Fucking cave. Keep fighting the fight

https://www.espn.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=6257656

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #21 on: June 26, 2020, 11:44:44 PM »
@CTF Stay strong man you got this. I waited 78 days before joining. Like a goofball I was a lurker. Posted a question and man the help showed up like an amish barn raising. Joined that day and will post as long as God lets me. Keep the great attitude up as thats what you need and keep reaching out to the other members on KTC. I have been fighting a severe throat for 8 weeks and it ended up being silent reflux. Started meds yesterday and 1000% better already. This is not only a big change in your life but your families as well. I leaned on my wife for alot of support and as she is somebody who would sit and listen and even let me cry when the emotions got to me. In my posts you will see me refer to her as my awesome wife because without having an awesome wife I would have fell apart and who knows where I would have been. So take care of your better half even more so than you did and dig deep and find extra patience if you have kids because you will need it. My first 4 weeks were a complete nightmare and the next 8 is what really kicked my butt. Finally at 114 days I am really doing good but the craves for me are bad so I am trying as many fake dips as my throat will let me. So keep fighting as you will be feeling better eventually but we fight it one day at a time. Stay strong, stay safe and God bless you brother.

Thanks @Thefranks5 . Hang in there amigo. I told have an awesome wife and a 9 year old daughter who is pretty awesome too. Life is weird right now, this week, as I am disjointed with the Mrs. but that will come back around. We have been married almost 26 years so I guess she isn't going anywhere or at least she hasn't yet. :) Glad to hear about your throat. I was reading some of your earlier postings and understandably I get it when anything goes a little weird with our throats or mouths or tongues because we were stupid. I'm very glad to hear it's just a little acid reflux and you will get better soon. Cheers mate!

Offline Thefranks5

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #20 on: June 26, 2020, 05:00:47 PM »
@CTF Stay strong man you got this. I waited 78 days before joining. Like a goofball I was a lurker. Posted a question and man the help showed up like an amish barn raising. Joined that day and will post as long as God lets me. Keep the great attitude up as thats what you need and keep reaching out to the other members on KTC. I have been fighting a severe throat for 8 weeks and it ended up being silent reflux. Started meds yesterday and 1000% better already. This is not only a big change in your life but your families as well. I leaned on my wife for alot of support and as she is somebody who would sit and listen and even let me cry when the emotions got to me. In my posts you will see me refer to her as my awesome wife because without having an awesome wife I would have fell apart and who knows where I would have been. So take care of your better half even more so than you did and dig deep and find extra patience if you have kids because you will need it. My first 4 weeks were a complete nightmare and the next 8 is what really kicked my butt. Finally at 114 days I am really doing good but the craves for me are bad so I am trying as many fake dips as my throat will let me. So keep fighting as you will be feeling better eventually but we fight it one day at a time. Stay strong, stay safe and God bless you brother.

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #19 on: June 26, 2020, 11:10:29 AM »
Week 4 in the books

28 glorious days.

How am I feeling:
Honestly I am really doing well. Don't get me wrong I think about it from time to time but I'm still plugging along and now I am at 28 days. I still feel very resolute and strong in my decision which is good because no one likes the struggle.

Something pissed me off:
I had a dream where I went to a store to buy a can. The clerk didn't have my brand which caused me to turn away. I woke up pissed off. Apparently my subconscious hasn't figured out yet what my conscience has. Get in line subconscious.

Eternal Quitters:
this week I read through a few of those stories and it made me wonder how many people passed away from tobacco. I read one story where a poor soul took his life and it kind of shook me in bit to think nothing is that bad. Stay strong my friends in your quit and with where you are. Take time out to yourself do something fun while being in the suck. Though the stories are sad they're worth reading, at least they were for me as I continue this journey.

Shout outs:
@EXBEARHAG  and @AwakenedOne  thanks for being in my corner. Just those little messages or shouts along the way are very much appreciated.

Savings:
$80

« Last Edit: June 26, 2020, 11:25:19 AM by CTF »

Offline Keith0617

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2020, 10:21:56 AM »
Week 3 in the books

How am I feeling?
Pretty good. I actually feel stronger and stronger each day. Taking another step each day away from my problem. My mouth/gums/tongue are beginning to feel much better. I highly encourage a quieter to use a water pick and an electric toothbrush daily. It feels so awesome and is a good reminder throughout the day of the benefits of quitting as you realize how much healthier your mouth is.  My teeth are much whiter as well.

I told the wife I quit (for real)
This was the easiest conversation I have had with my wife concerning chew ever. I told her I was dead serious about this and to help me through it I joined this accountability group (KTC). I even let her read some of my write-ups  She actually cried with joy a bit which definitely pulled at the heart strings pretty hard. Chewing has been the one wedge in our marriage all these years  and with that gone things are/will continue to be great.

I was tested this week
Bourbons with College buddies and nemesis Mr Copenhagen was there too. Even with multiple drams in me I wasn't wanting a chew at all. The will power and my accountability are still intact and I was proud of myself for it  It was pretty enlighting when I was calling out my buddies to quit that shit. They aren't ready yet so I was the asshole but that's ok and I will wear that asshole-quitter sign proudly.

How am I able to make this quit stick?
If there is anything I could pay it forward to someone trying to quit would be this mindset:
You have to in your mind really want to quit. You can't go half way with this because you are only fooling yourself and wasting your time. That's really the trick for me. I just came to a point in my life where I don't want to do this anymore for numerous reasons. I made up my mind to quit and the willpower is the easy part once you get there.

Money saved
Approximately $60 so far. I think I am going to buy a new golf driver when I make it to the Hall as my celebration gift with the money I have saved not chewing. Seems like a good goal/payout
Keep rocking your quit @CTF . Just remember the nic bitch will come test you again. Keep your guard sharp.
Jan19

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2020, 12:20:45 PM »
Week 3 in the books

How am I feeling?
Pretty good. I actually feel stronger and stronger each day. Taking another step each day away from my problem. My mouth/gums/tongue are beginning to feel much better. I highly encourage a quieter to use a water pick and an electric toothbrush daily. It feels so awesome and is a good reminder throughout the day of the benefits of quitting as you realize how much healthier your mouth is.  My teeth are much whiter as well.

I told the wife I quit (for real)
This was the easiest conversation I have had with my wife concerning chew ever. I told her I was dead serious about this and to help me through it I joined this accountability group (KTC). I even let her read some of my write-ups  She actually cried with joy a bit which definitely pulled at the heart strings pretty hard. Chewing has been the one wedge in our marriage all these years  and with that gone things are/will continue to be great.

I was tested this week
Bourbons with College buddies and nemesis Mr Copenhagen was there too. Even with multiple drams in me I wasn't wanting a chew at all. The will power and my accountability are still intact and I was proud of myself for it  It was pretty enlighting when I was calling out my buddies to quit that shit. They aren't ready yet so I was the asshole but that's ok and I will wear that asshole-quitter sign proudly.

How am I able to make this quit stick?
If there is anything I could pay it forward to someone trying to quit would be this mindset:
You have to in your mind really want to quit. You can't go half way with this because you are only fooling yourself and wasting your time. That's really the trick for me. I just came to a point in my life where I don't want to do this anymore for numerous reasons. I made up my mind to quit and the willpower is the easy part once you get there.

Money saved
Approximately $60 so far. I think I am going to buy a new golf driver when I make it to the Hall as my celebration gift with the money I have saved not chewing. Seems like a good goal/payout

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2020, 10:44:48 PM »
Week 2 in the books

This week found new challenges but nothing I couldn't deal with. For some stupid reason I was thinking about chew more than I wanted to but my coping mechanisms got me through it. I have to say for me my biggest tool in my tool belt is just willpower. Knowing that this isn't anything I want to do any longer helps. I loved chewing but to be honest as the days go by that longing or love seems to be less and less.

Oral hygiene: I kicked it up a notch using my water pick and electric Oral B toothbrush more often than I normally do. My mouth seems to be healing and I am trying to do everything to make that happen.

What am I doing when I crave:
For me I don't want to use any of the fake stuff. I want to completely walk away from anything chew like. I chew eclipse spearmint gum and some beef jerky. I am a huge fan of sunflower seeds but I'm trying to steer away from that as well to allow my mouth to heal. I do see some SPITZ Honey BBQ seeds in my future. They have less salt in them and seem to be easier in my mouth.

Weight gain:
I have gained a bit. I plan on countering that in making better food choices and working out a bit more. there is a saying though that you can't outrun your fork so probably what makes most sense is eating more salads.

A couple of beers no crave:
I have had a bit of alcohol this week, just a couple of beers one night and I did well.. I didn't really crave while drinking. I hadn't gone while high to test my will and I don't plan to for some time. I have always been a huge water drinker and that hasn't changed.

Thank you:
To everyone who has reached out to me. I sincerely thank you.

Until next week stay strong my friends. If you need anyone to I am just a PM/text/phone call away.

Cheers,

CTF

Keep blogging it out CTF.  In some ways, I think you are, at 2 weeks, ahead of me at 337 days.  I too thought that I "loved" dip.  I'm certainly still guilty of romanticizing the addiction from time to time.  Your focus and determination at 2 weeks is good for me to be exposed to.  Keep kicking ass brother.  Hold that line.

~HAG

@EXBEARHAG Thanks for the kind words and the support. @Zeus made some really good points though. I was lucky enough to play College Baseball and a little bit of after college ball in a time where ball players chewed. Right wrong or in different it's what kids did and I very much enjoyed playing the game I loved and chew was a part of that. I definately romanticized or waxed poetic a bit but Z is right it was slowly killing me.

Everyone has a different experience with this shit but the outcome is here is all the same with the Quit. I wish we all could grab a beer and just shoot the shit because I am sure there are a crap ton of great stories and wisdom there.

As for being a head of you I laughed reading that. You and Zeus are giants to me. I will keep on blogging weekly through my process in hopes to help others and remind me of where I was and to stay on the path.

Cheers

CTF

Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2020, 09:12:44 PM »
Week 2 in the books

This week found new challenges but nothing I couldn't deal with. For some stupid reason I was thinking about chew more than I wanted to but my coping mechanisms got me through it. I have to say for me my biggest tool in my tool belt is just willpower. Knowing that this isn't anything I want to do any longer helps. I loved chewing but to be honest as the days go by that longing or love seems to be less and less.

Oral hygiene: I kicked it up a notch using my water pick and electric Oral B toothbrush more often than I normally do. My mouth seems to be healing and I am trying to do everything to make that happen.

What am I doing when I crave:
For me I don't want to use any of the fake stuff. I want to completely walk away from anything chew like. I chew eclipse spearmint gum and some beef jerky. I am a huge fan of sunflower seeds but I'm trying to steer away from that as well to allow my mouth to heal. I do see some SPITZ Honey BBQ seeds in my future. They have less salt in them and seem to be easier in my mouth.

Weight gain:
I have gained a bit. I plan on countering that in making better food choices and working out a bit more. there is a saying though that you can't outrun your fork so probably what makes most sense is eating more salads.

A couple of beers no crave:
I have had a bit of alcohol this week, just a couple of beers one night and I did well.. I didn't really crave while drinking. I hadn't gone while high to test my will and I don't plan to for some time. I have always been a huge water drinker and that hasn't changed.

Thank you:
To everyone who has reached out to me. I sincerely thank you.

Until next week stay strong my friends. If you need anyone to I am just a PM/text/phone call away.

Cheers,

CTF

Keep blogging it out CTF.  In some ways, I think you are, at 2 weeks, ahead of me at 337 days.  I too thought that I "loved" dip.  I'm certainly still guilty of romanticizing the addiction from time to time.  Your focus and determination at 2 weeks is good for me to be exposed to.  Keep kicking ass brother.  Hold that line.

~HAG

Offline Zeus

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2020, 04:22:45 PM »
Nice write up and great work, CTF. Keep doing what you're doing, and then some.

I would only caution you to change up your word usage. You didn't "love" to dip. You may have thought you did, but you dipped because dip contains nicotine, and you used nicotine to avoid withdrawal symptoms. You probably did activities you enjoyed doing, and dipped while doing them, but nicotine chemically hijinked those good feelings and memories.

I'm a big fan of beef jerky. On could say I love it, but I've never needed to be gnawing on it all day part of the night. I've never had to sneak away from my family to get a fix. I've never kept gnawing on it for years after my loved-ones, employers, doctors, etc., implored me to stop gnawing it.

Don't let allow yourself to romanticize the dip. Its main mission was to enslave you, take your money, and one day kill you. What you're going through is withdrawal symptoms--not love or longing. Don't fool yourself.
June 2017 Quit Mafia

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2020, 01:12:29 PM »
Week 2 in the books

This week found new challenges but nothing I couldn't deal with. For some stupid reason I was thinking about chew more than I wanted to but my coping mechanisms got me through it. I have to say for me my biggest tool in my tool belt is just willpower. Knowing that this isn't anything I want to do any longer helps. I loved chewing but to be honest as the days go by that longing or love seems to be less and less.

Oral hygiene: I kicked it up a notch using my water pick and electric Oral B toothbrush more often than I normally do. My mouth seems to be healing and I am trying to do everything to make that happen.

What am I doing when I crave:
For me I don't want to use any of the fake stuff. I want to completely walk away from anything chew like. I chew eclipse spearmint gum and some beef jerky. I am a huge fan of sunflower seeds but I'm trying to steer away from that as well to allow my mouth to heal. I do see some SPITZ Honey BBQ seeds in my future. They have less salt in them and seem to be easier in my mouth.

Weight gain:
I have gained a bit. I plan on countering that in making better food choices and working out a bit more. there is a saying though that you can't outrun your fork so probably what makes most sense is eating more salads.

A couple of beers no crave:
I have had a bit of alcohol this week, just a couple of beers one night and I did well.. I didn't really crave while drinking. I hadn't gone while high to test my will and I don't plan to for some time. I have always been a huge water drinker and that hasn't changed.

Thank you:
To everyone who has reached out to me. I sincerely thank you.

Until next week stay strong my friends. If you need anyone to I am just a PM/text/phone call away.

Cheers,

CTF

Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2020, 10:30:17 PM »
@CTF I love your attitude and your drive.  Looks to me like you have the right mindset.  Make sure you get some phone numbers for when the going gets rougher.  My digits are a pm away.  Hold the line my friend.


The last 48 hours haven't been easy. I don't know why. I know the chemicals that chewing brings are outside of my body by now but for some reason my mind is playing tricks on me. It's a game to me now. I think if it was easy I would overlook this challenge but because it has me by the balls it's now personal. To be honest it's always been personal but these last few days of struggle is open my eyes a little wider.

I'm very much looking forward to Friday. Friday will be the day that with honest eyes I look at my wife and tell her I've been quit for 2 weeks and I'm serious I am done. In our 25 years of marriage we have had a number of issues back and forth but everyone could be resolved except for my chewing habit. It has been the one thing that has driven a steak in a relationship. On Friday I get to tell my wife of where I'm at and how I'm walking away from this crap. I'm also going to tell her about this group to offer just how serious I am about being done.

Over the last few days there have been a number of you guys reaching out to me and I were very much appreciate it. That is very easy to say but I truly mean it. Thank you all so very much in advance.

CTF
@CTF keep focusing ODAAT and let the days add up. The light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter and brighter but it does take time. You can’t stuff crap in your lip for years and it not take time for your boy to except the new you. WUPP and everything will take care of itself. Proud to quit with you.

Love how you are getting involved around here as well CTF...monitoring the Intros and offering help and your contact info.  Helping others will reinforce your quit like nothing else you can do.  Keep it up my friend. 

Holding the line...

Offline Keith0617

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2020, 01:04:15 PM »
@CTF I love your attitude and your drive.  Looks to me like you have the right mindset.  Make sure you get some phone numbers for when the going gets rougher.  My digits are a pm away.  Hold the line my friend.


The last 48 hours haven't been easy. I don't know why. I know the chemicals that chewing brings are outside of my body by now but for some reason my mind is playing tricks on me. It's a game to me now. I think if it was easy I would overlook this challenge but because it has me by the balls it's now personal. To be honest it's always been personal but these last few days of struggle is open my eyes a little wider.

I'm very much looking forward to Friday. Friday will be the day that with honest eyes I look at my wife and tell her I've been quit for 2 weeks and I'm serious I am done. In our 25 years of marriage we have had a number of issues back and forth but everyone could be resolved except for my chewing habit. It has been the one thing that has driven a steak in a relationship. On Friday I get to tell my wife of where I'm at and how I'm walking away from this crap. I'm also going to tell her about this group to offer just how serious I am about being done.

Over the last few days there have been a number of you guys reaching out to me and I were very much appreciate it. That is very easy to say but I truly mean it. Thank you all so very much in advance.

CTF
@CTF keep focusing ODAAT and let the days add up. The light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter and brighter but it does take time. You can’t stuff crap in your lip for years and it not take time for your boy to except the new you. WUPP and everything will take care of itself. Proud to quit with you.
Jan19

Offline CTF

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2020, 10:30:35 AM »
@CTF I love your attitude and your drive.  Looks to me like you have the right mindset.  Make sure you get some phone numbers for when the going gets rougher.  My digits are a pm away.  Hold the line my friend.


The last 48 hours haven't been easy. I don't know why. I know the chemicals that chewing brings are outside of my body by now but for some reason my mind is playing tricks on me. It's a game to me now. I think if it was easy I would overlook this challenge but because it has me by the balls it's now personal. To be honest it's always been personal but these last few days of struggle is open my eyes a little wider.

I'm very much looking forward to Friday. Friday will be the day that with honest eyes I look at my wife and tell her I've been quit for 2 weeks and I'm serious I am done. In our 25 years of marriage we have had a number of issues back and forth but everyone could be resolved except for my chewing habit. It has been the one thing that has driven a steak in a relationship. On Friday I get to tell my wife of where I'm at and how I'm walking away from this crap. I'm also going to tell her about this group to offer just how serious I am about being done.

Over the last few days there have been a number of you guys reaching out to me and I were very much appreciate it. That is very easy to say but I truly mean it. Thank you all so very much in advance.

CTF

Offline EXBEARHAG

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2020, 10:19:30 PM »
@CTF I love your attitude and your drive.  Looks to me like you have the right mindset.  Make sure you get some phone numbers for when the going gets rougher.  My digits are a pm away.  Hold the line my friend.

Offline Athan

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Re: CTF - new to the group today
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2020, 03:14:51 PM »
6/7/20 Sunday morning - I used to have a small quiet pinch on Sundays with my coffee when the house is quiet early in the morning. In the past the wife would wake up and there was always that look to see if I had something. The guilt feeling would take over. I can honestly say not today. I was happy as a clam sipping my coffee knowing nothing was there. No way to express or feel guilt. This is Day 9 and it feels like what I imagine 99 will. Do I think about it? Sure I do. I continue to have the resolve to say No. For me, for my wife for my daughter. No a thousand times No.
That used to be my Sunday morning routine as well. All alone with my coffee and a lipper. Never again for any reason. Good that you're cognizant of it, the small successes, the awareness of life without it. Little victories like this will crop up from time to time. Acknowledge and savor them as you have this one. Blog it out here and document them as they come; they are bricks in your wall of quit. They edify others (even vets like me) and will edify you as well as you look back on how far you've come.
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