Day 187
Flat, emotionless, just don’t care about anything, no joy.
Nicotine must be a very powerful mood stabilizer because when I felt bored and or empty I’d just toss back a big bite and suddenly life was exciting. Sad isn’t it?
I promise not to dip today.
And here comes the anxiety. Thought maybe I’d have a day without it but how wrong I was. This is getting ridiculous and frustrating. Withdrawal from meth doesn’t last this long.
Nicotine was an escape from reality. If you think about it, it took you away from a lot of joy and emotions too. How many times did you sneak away from your wife, your family, to get a "fix" that really didn't do anything except take you away from your family and help you not go into the withdrawal that you are now feeling?
Nicotine is one big lie, bro. There isn't anything good that it did for you, except for that first time big buzz. After that is was just there to help you escape from life but really to help not go into withdrawal. You spent how many tens of thousands of dollars chasing a buzz that never came and took time away from your real life to dip alone? F THAT!
Worktowin 4,009. And I ain't sayin' nothing good about nicotine today! NO SIR NO MA'AM NO THEY!