I have tossed this around in my head probably a million times since I came back, defeated, tail tucked and disappointed in myself. I wrote one of these in 2015 and another in 2018 and here we are again in 2025. Who the hell is going to read this and take me seriously after two failed stoppages here at KTC? I know I would probably ignore myself if I just showed up here and a 3-time retread was dropping his 2 cents. What is his 2 cents worth when he can’t even commit to quitting? It took me a long time to realize that I was never fully committed to my quit, not in 2015 and definitely not in 2018. So, what was so special and different about 2025?
On June 17th, 2025, I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror, and it finally clicked for me. I had been chewing since the age of 12. (I’m 38 years old as I type this) Dip was a part of everything I did. I dipped in the fire service, I dipped in the back of the Medic truck while performing CPR, I dipped at weddings, family events, my son's countless spine surgeries in the hospital where nicotine is not permitted, but I still brought it and used it. I dipped at my own wedding in 2023. I dipped through times when my throat was so swollen and messed up that I was struggling to breathe. I dipped through thousands of 9-1-1 calls and incidents. I dipped while sitting on the couch with my wife and kids during family time. I dipped at our son's baseball games, and I made having a can of snuff on me at all times a priority over anything else in my life. This was my wake-up call, my rock bottom and my last chance before this addiction completely took over and there would be no return. A key difference in 2025 is I now have a pure hatred and disdain for tobacco. I had let the can drag me around by the balls for so long that it had finally broken me to the core and I had enough.
On my return, I had to face the fact that I hurt a lot of people on my path of destruction, but I am proud to say that many, if not all, of the bridges I burnt to the ground were rebuilt, and they were rebuilt with the help of the very people I turned my back on. If that does not show the level of brotherhood/sisterhood and commitment of the members of KTC, then I don’t know what will!!
Thank you Candoit for your tough love on my return and still having my number after all these years, JimWot who was one of the first to reach out to me on my return and who I got to meet up with early in my quit, Mcarmo44 for your never ending support even when I did not deserve it, EV and Bicyleptic for supporting me, but reminding me often that I am a piece of garbage. They mean well (I think) lol, pertrai1 for your DM’s back and forth to talk me off the edge of life! Carlh20, my ex-quit twin from 2015, that man never gave up on me, even when I gave up on me! Squinty and Trithious for taking me in! You two and many others were and still are huge to my quit! All the vets who stop in and continue to support September! Finally, last, but not least, my wife Lindsey, who has been my biggest supporter! I made a promise to text her daily just like my promise to my group, and she is always ready to jump onto the site to see what the hell my deal is if I do not text her. So many others to list, that is for sure, so to the ones I did not mention, thank you as well!
If you're reading this and thinking:
“When is the right time?”
“I can’t do this.”
“I’ve tried and failed so many times…”
Just know this; behind these HOF speeches and walls are hundreds of badass quitters who once thought the exact same thing. Guess what? They’re free, and the only price they paid — and continue to pay — is a daily promise to their group and the friends they’ve made along the way. You can be one of them. One of us. Reach out — I’m always just a DM away. Reach out to me, or to any of us.
Freedom has never felt so damn good, and I will do anything to protect it this time. DWEIRICK — Day 100 and this is the last damn time I will post Day 100!! From the depth of my soul “F&$k you big tobacco” NAFAR
https://www.killthecan.org/no-more-excuses-just-quit/
