« Reply #2028 on: October 13, 2007, 08:45:00 AM »
Wow~ 278 days .. it's so amazing. I don't think about my old dipping days that much but every now and then thoughts do creep into my mind. I suppose it'll always be like that. My son's demeanor has worsen. My sanity seems to slowly slip away but I know in time I'll be able to get through this. I have to for my son's sake. My husband is just not coping well. I feel mostly like single parent. I go to work. I do everything for the boys - homework - playtime - drs appts .. etc. I also started treatment for the bipolar disorder. This too, has ripped pieces of my marriage away. I am not well. And he still believes that I can fix myself. I can only do so much before I break.
You see not having my dipping habit has thrown me in all kinds of directions. The time I spent dipping was my solitude - my peace. And at this very moment I find no solitude or peace in anything. I am lost. Severely depressed and hopelessly lost. I started anti-depressants and a mood stablizer. I won't start seeing any results for 4 to 5 weeks, if then. It might take time to find the right medication and treatment. Please don't judge me by stating this is a frame of mind and every one goes through ups and downs. - - Yes, that I understand but my ups and downs are extreme and frequent. On occassion I could have them both at the same time. My Dr. doesn't know how I've coped for this long. He is amazed at my will to survive. Now it's just finding the right path for both me and my son. All I know is
that I've been through some really rough - I mean terribly rough days ... and
dipping wasn't an issue. So if I can endure this at 278 days quit .. then you too
can prove that dipping shouldn't be an issue in your life as well.
I hope you get to feeling better soon. Your right in the fact that if you can endure what you have gone thru quit, dipping would not improve the situation any. Thanks for sharing. JJ
Ps) I hope everyone is doing well. I wish you all much love, peace and happiness!
Thanks JJ!
When I wrote that I was saying to myself, "You know how much harder can it get?"
My mom called me at work Wednesday and proceeded to tell me that for 5 weeks she has been having tests done and that Thursday she needed to go in for a biopsy and needed me to be with her. I was shocked. Everything went well. Actually instead of doing a needle biopsy of her breast the Dr. did what's called a core biopsy and removed the whole mass for testing. We should know that results this coming up Thursday. Please keep my mom in your prayers!
Hang in there Nicki...Let me know if I can help.
Prayers for you, your mom, and your son.
Logged
QSXtreme
Quit -1/23/06
HOF -5/02/06 May 2006 Drama Queens
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
A Quit Plan: Do you have one?
CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit.
After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco. SportDad 1/13/05
Warm summer sun, shine kindly here;
Warm southern wind, blow softly here;
Green sod above, lie light, lie light.-
Good-night, dear heart, good-night.
Be silly, be honest, be kind
