Wow~ 278 days .. it's so amazing. I don't think about my old dipping days that much but every now and then thoughts do creep into my mind. I suppose it'll always be like that. My son's demeanor has worsen. My sanity seems to slowly slip away but I know in time I'll be able to get through this. I have to for my son's sake. My husband is just not coping well. I feel mostly like single parent. I go to work. I do everything for the boys - homework - playtime - drs appts .. etc. I also started treatment for the bipolar disorder. This too, has ripped pieces of my marriage away. I am not well. And he still believes that I can fix myself. I can only do so much before I break.
You see not having my dipping habit has thrown me in all kinds of directions. The time I spent dipping was my solitude - my peace. And at this very moment I find no solitude or peace in anything. I am lost. Severely depressed and hopelessly lost. I started anti-depressants and a mood stablizer. I won't start seeing any results for 4 to 5 weeks, if then. It might take time to find the right medication and treatment. Please don't judge me by stating this is a frame of mind and every one goes through ups and downs. - - Yes, that I understand but my ups and downs are extreme and frequent. On occassion I could have them both at the same time. My Dr. doesn't know how I've coped for this long. He is amazed at my will to survive. Now it's just finding the right path for both me and my son. All I know is that I've been through some really rough - I mean terribly rough days ... and dipping wasn't an issue. So if I can endure this at 278 days quit .. then you too can prove that dipping shouldn't be an issue in your life as well.
Ps) I hope everyone is doing well. I wish you all much love, peace and happiness!
