General Discussion - 2014

[Doc2quit4good]

Alright all. I'm gonna have to have a judges ruling on this.... T R O L L ! ! ! !

[Wt57]

That is 22 years of sobriety.

You are playing with a dangerous toy.  This is not about a mental game, it is a physical thing and I have a great deal of personal experience with it.

Well 22 years of sobriety has not done much for your ethics. For anyone wondering, mj just deleted 3 posts to 3 articles I cited explaining what it is I am talking about.

Now, sir, please kindly go ahead and delete my account as I am no longer interested in taking part in a community that is all for censoring information that may help people recover from addictions they wish to be free from.

My conscious is clear.

Ban that mofo for being a fraud. I've been reading via cell phone and about to jump out of my skin to tear into this fraud. Blatant contradiction after another. Since I am on my cell phone, I will sum up what is obvious.

For one, if you could get past your egocentric and narscisstic ramblings, conclusory statments, circular reasoning, assumptions, biases, and appeals to your own personal beliefs about reality as authority (self authenticate any?), then you would not be on a quit smokeless extreme site.

You sound more like a mentally ill person rambling on about junk psychology. I agree you need a doctor. You need more help than we can provide you here.

Btw, since your hypethis (but you also called it a theory) is infallible, why did you not just go visit your neighbors and enlighten them that their reality is what their subconscious truly believes--like healed from tobacco-induced cancer? Because, your hypothesis/theory is as much of a fraud as you are.

You sir are petaling junk-psychology. It would take a true narcissist to try and pass that off as an original thought. Btw, the "habit theory" and outgrowing took off in the 1970's. Now, if my math is correct, that puts your fraudlent hypothesis/theory prior to our 'antiquated' 1980's model.

Go pound sand, bitch.

If this guy isn't gonna post roll and continues to feed big tobacco propaganda it's time for him to go!

[BlueRose]

BlueRose, here's a link to the spousal support page...



Spousal Support



Hope it helps.

Thank you!! :)

[copingwithoutcopen]

It's been a few weeks, but he's been trying to quit for almost a year. What does that have to do with what I was asking?

If your original question is what you can do to help him (you said you feel like you should be doing something) then it is helpful to know where he is in his current 'quit', meaning, how long it has been since he put down tobacco.

The nicotine has left his system. So he is nicotine free if it has truly been 2 weeks. He will still feel bad (I did at that time) but physically, he is okay.

Does he have some herbal chew? If not, he should try that. All you can do is just be supportive. Be attentive to him. This is the most difficult thing he may ever face. Let him know you're proud of him and encourage him to stick with it.

If he's already a member of this site then he already knows about the community that is here if he chooses to engage them.

If he continuously backslides, I say he needs to reassess his game plan and figure out if he can pinpoint where things go wrong when he tries to quit.

Personally, I tried to quit for about the past year. This time I've just decided I'm really done chewing tobacco and that's it. I have reasons why and I agree with them and that is it. This is the longest I have gone without tobacco. Before that, the longest was 2 days. It has now been 4 weeks.

What changed for me was that enough was enough and I just simply decided to ride it out. That meant getting past 7 days for me. After 7 days, I was able to function again and continue using herbal chew for the time being.

That still doesn't help me at all....Does anyone else have something to contribute? I would love to have more insights. I really appreciate it, thank you.

BlueRose, here's a link to the spousal support page...



Spousal Support



Hope it helps.

[BlueRose]

It's been a few weeks, but he's been trying to quit for almost a year. What does that have to do with what I was asking?

If your original question is what you can do to help him (you said you feel like you should be doing something) then it is helpful to know where he is in his current 'quit', meaning, how long it has been since he put down tobacco.

The nicotine has left his system. So he is nicotine free if it has truly been 2 weeks. He will still feel bad (I did at that time) but physically, he is okay.

Does he have some herbal chew? If not, he should try that. All you can do is just be supportive. Be attentive to him. This is the most difficult thing he may ever face. Let him know you're proud of him and encourage him to stick with it.

If he's already a member of this site then he already knows about the community that is here if he chooses to engage them.

If he continuously backslides, I say he needs to reassess his game plan and figure out if he can pinpoint where things go wrong when he tries to quit.

Personally, I tried to quit for about the past year. This time I've just decided I'm really done chewing tobacco and that's it. I have reasons why and I agree with them and that is it. This is the longest I have gone without tobacco. Before that, the longest was 2 days. It has now been 4 weeks.

What changed for me was that enough was enough and I just simply decided to ride it out. That meant getting past 7 days for me. After 7 days, I was able to function again and continue using herbal chew for the time being.

That still doesn't help me at all....Does anyone else have something to contribute? I would love to have more insights. I really appreciate it, thank you.

[nsterken]

It's been a few weeks, but he's been trying to quit for almost a year. What does that have to do with what I was asking?

If your original question is what you can do to help him (you said you feel like you should be doing something) then it is helpful to know where he is in his current 'quit', meaning, how long it has been since he put down tobacco.

The nicotine has left his system. So he is nicotine free if it has truly been 2 weeks. He will still feel bad (I did at that time) but physically, he is okay.

Does he have some herbal chew? If not, he should try that. All you can do is just be supportive. Be attentive to him. This is the most difficult thing he may ever face. Let him know you're proud of him and encourage him to stick with it.

If he's already a member of this site then he already knows about the community that is here if he chooses to engage them.

If he continuously backslides, I say he needs to reassess his game plan and figure out if he can pinpoint where things go wrong when he tries to quit.

Personally, I tried to quit for about the past year. This time I've just decided I'm really done chewing tobacco and that's it. I have reasons why and I agree with them and that is it. This is the longest I have gone without tobacco. Before that, the longest was 2 days. It has now been 4 weeks.

What changed for me was that enough was enough and I just simply decided to ride it out. That meant getting past 7 days for me. After 7 days, I was able to function again and continue using herbal chew for the time being.

[BlueRose]

Has he already quit?

Or are you saying he quits and then backslides?

I'm not sure what you mean by that?

I mean how long has it been since the last time he had a dip of chewing tobacco? [/QUOTE]
It's been a few weeks, but he's been trying to quit for almost a year. What does that have to do with what I was asking?

[nsterken]

Has he already quit?

Or are you saying he quits and then backslides?

I'm not sure what you mean by that? [/QUOTE]
I mean how long has it been since the last time he had a dip of chewing tobacco?

[BlueRose]

I just realized that he is a member of this site too. I knew he had looked into some support groups, and I guess we found the same one.

He already wants it out of his life, and I know it's his decision and only he can keep himself from doing it. I would never dream of giving him an ultimatum. But I want to know if there's a way that I can somehow make it a little less mierable for him? I have asked him this, and he says to just keep loving him as usual. I know there's a battle raging inside of him, and I feel like there's something I should be doing.

Has he already quit?

Or are you saying he quits and then backslides?

I'm not sure what you mean by that?

[nsterken]

I just realized that he is a member of this site too. I knew he had looked into some support groups, and I guess we found the same one.

He already wants it out of his life, and I know it's his decision and only he can keep himself from doing it. I would never dream of giving him an ultimatum. But I want to know if there's a way that I can somehow make it a little less mierable for him? I have asked him this, and he says to just keep loving him as usual. I know there's a battle raging inside of him, and I feel like there's something I should be doing.

Has he already quit?

Or are you saying he quits and then backslides?

[BlueRose]

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure where to post stuff. But I wanted to ask a few things.

First off, I'm not the one who chewed...it's my fiance. He's almost 22 and had chew for 3 years before deciding to quit about a year ago. He quit when we first started going out because he knew he could be better. I didn't know he chewed until we had been going out for about 6 monthes, and even then, I didn't know he was still struggling with it. I've just recently learned that it's still a very hard struggle that he deals with almost on a daily basis. Things will get stressful, and he will stumble. Afterwards he always feels horrible, and then has several days of withdrawl that are miserable for him. He's just getting to the point where he can talk to me about it, he'll tell me if he's having a hard day with it, or if he's struggling. And I do my best to be supportive. I know there's no way I can really understand what he's going through, but I want to know if there's anything I can do or say that would help him? I want him to know I'm on his side, but don't know how to encourage him without sounding critical or judgemental.

Please....any words from those experienced in the matter would greatly be appreciated. Thank you!

I have spent the last 3 years going through quitting, relapsing, withdrawals, etc. For me, the worst of it all was psychological because, deep down, it was knowing that I lacked self control and, for a man, or at least for me, that sucked.

I do not know your guy and it depends on the individual. Perhaps you can post more about what he is like? Depending on what type of relationship you have will determine what action you two can take.

First, you should really have him figure out if he wants to quit. If you're giving him ultimatums, that can increase pressure. My wife has asked me to quit since we met. It's just now transpiring. But she hasn't left me, in fact, she married me. God bless her. But it really comes down to a support system. That's why these folks are here on this site... a support system.

Now, would your guy be interested in talking to guys going through the same thing? That works for some folks and others not. It depends on him as a person.

For me, herbal chew (no tobacco, no nicotine) has done the trick. But it is still icky. But at least it can help him quit.

For me, the final turning point was after a week. I had never gone that long without using nicotine before. I was miserable and slept a lot and almost cried a lot. But, after 7 days, it was like, well, it's been a week without a dip, what's the point of buying anymore dip?

I think first you should ask him to have a serious talk with you. Don't force him to make a bunch of eye contact with you if he's not comfortable with that. If he is, then that's fine. Make it about him. Try to relax him. Try to simplify the situation. Try to make it positive. If you can make this a positive experience for him, you should be able to win a lot of points.

Present it to him like, hey, what an amazing challenge: to kick a tobacco addiction. That makes you all the more manly to me! Play to his ego, if you can or if it is not cheesy. Most importantly: first, speak with him casually to figure out what different options he has and all the ways and things that are at his disposal to help him quit for good. This should be something to help build his confidence in himself, to be able to take control of his actions, which is a good feeling at that young of an age. Be his friend, most of all. Just be real cool with it and don't give a lot of pressure during your initial talk. Use the pressure down the road in helping him to stick with what decisions he makes.

Nobody ever thought I would actually quit and I did. My parents were shocked. I chewed for 15 years. I do not have a lot of experience in quitting: it's only been 4 weeks. But I have spent years trying to quit and backsliding. It really came down to wanting to do it and being sick of the sores in my mouth. He can avoid all that.

And there are a lot of other people on the internet that are going through the exact same thing as him if he were to choose to reach out to them.

I just realized that he is a member of this site too. I knew he had looked into some support groups, and I guess we found the same one.

He already wants it out of his life, and I know it's his decision and only he can keep himself from doing it. I would never dream of giving him an ultimatum. But I want to know if there's a way that I can somehow make it a little less mierable for him? I have asked him this, and he says to just keep loving him as usual. I know there's a battle raging inside of him, and I feel like there's something I should be doing.

[nsterken]

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure where to post stuff. But I wanted to ask a few things.

First off, I'm not the one who chewed...it's my fiance. He's almost 22 and had chew for 3 years before deciding to quit about a year ago. He quit when we first started going out because he knew he could be better. I didn't know he chewed until we had been going out for about 6 monthes, and even then, I didn't know he was still struggling with it. I've just recently learned that it's still a very hard struggle that he deals with almost on a daily basis. Things will get stressful, and he will stumble. Afterwards he always feels horrible, and then has several days of withdrawl that are miserable for him. He's just getting to the point where he can talk to me about it, he'll tell me if he's having a hard day with it, or if he's struggling. And I do my best to be supportive. I know there's no way I can really understand what he's going through, but I want to know if there's anything I can do or say that would help him? I want him to know I'm on his side, but don't know how to encourage him without sounding critical or judgemental.

Please....any words from those experienced in the matter would greatly be appreciated. Thank you!

I have spent the last 3 years going through quitting, relapsing, withdrawals, etc. For me, the worst of it all was psychological because, deep down, it was knowing that I lacked self control and, for a man, or at least for me, that sucked.

I do not know your guy and it depends on the individual. Perhaps you can post more about what he is like? Depending on what type of relationship you have will determine what action you two can take.

First, you should really have him figure out if he wants to quit. If you're giving him ultimatums, that can increase pressure. My wife has asked me to quit since we met. It's just now transpiring. But she hasn't left me, in fact, she married me. God bless her. But it really comes down to a support system. That's why these folks are here on this site... a support system.

Now, would your guy be interested in talking to guys going through the same thing? That works for some folks and others not. It depends on him as a person.

For me, herbal chew (no tobacco, no nicotine) has done the trick. But it is still icky. But at least it can help him quit.

For me, the final turning point was after a week. I had never gone that long without using nicotine before. I was miserable and slept a lot and almost cried a lot. But, after 7 days, it was like, well, it's been a week without a dip, what's the point of buying anymore dip?

I think first you should ask him to have a serious talk with you. Don't force him to make a bunch of eye contact with you if he's not comfortable with that. If he is, then that's fine. Make it about him. Try to relax him. Try to simplify the situation. Try to make it positive. If you can make this a positive experience for him, you should be able to win a lot of points.

Present it to him like, hey, what an amazing challenge: to kick a tobacco addiction. That makes you all the more manly to me! Play to his ego, if you can or if it is not cheesy. Most importantly: first, speak with him casually to figure out what different options he has and all the ways and things that are at his disposal to help him quit for good. This should be something to help build his confidence in himself, to be able to take control of his actions, which is a good feeling at that young of an age. Be his friend, most of all. Just be real cool with it and don't give a lot of pressure during your initial talk. Use the pressure down the road in helping him to stick with what decisions he makes.

Nobody ever thought I would actually quit and I did. My parents were shocked. I chewed for 15 years. I do not have a lot of experience in quitting: it's only been 4 weeks. But I have spent years trying to quit and backsliding. It really came down to wanting to do it and being sick of the sores in my mouth. He can avoid all that.

And there are a lot of other people on the internet that are going through the exact same thing as him if he were to choose to reach out to them.

[BlueRose]

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure where to post stuff. But I wanted to ask a few things.

First off, I'm not the one who chewed...it's my fiance. He's almost 22 and had chew for 3 years before deciding to quit about a year ago. He quit when we first started going out because he knew he could be better. I didn't know he chewed until we had been going out for about 6 monthes, and even then, I didn't know he was still struggling with it. I've just recently learned that it's still a very hard struggle that he deals with almost on a daily basis. Things will get stressful, and he will stumble. Afterwards he always feels horrible, and then has several days of withdrawl that are miserable for him. He's just getting to the point where he can talk to me about it, he'll tell me if he's having a hard day with it, or if he's struggling. And I do my best to be supportive. I know there's no way I can really understand what he's going through, but I want to know if there's anything I can do or say that would help him? I want him to know I'm on his side, but don't know how to encourage him without sounding critical or judgemental.

Please....any words from those experienced in the matter would greatly be appreciated. Thank you!

[JayDubya]

That is 22 years of sobriety.

You are playing with a dangerous toy.  This is not about a mental game, it is a physical thing and I have a great deal of personal experience with it.

Well 22 years of sobriety has not done much for your ethics. For anyone wondering, mj just deleted 3 posts to 3 articles I cited explaining what it is I am talking about.

Now, sir, please kindly go ahead and delete my account as I am no longer interested in taking part in a community that is all for censoring information that may help people recover from addictions they wish to be free from.

My conscious is clear.

Ban that mofo for being a fraud. I've been reading via cell phone and about to jump out of my skin to tear into this fraud. Blatant contradiction after another. Since I am on my cell phone, I will sum up what is obvious.

For one, if you could get past your egocentric and narscisstic ramblings, conclusory statments, circular reasoning, assumptions, biases, and appeals to your own personal beliefs about reality as authority (self authenticate any?), then you would not be on a quit smokeless extreme site.

You sound more like a mentally ill person rambling on about junk psychology. I agree you need a doctor. You need more help than we can provide you here.

Btw, since your hypethis (but you also called it a theory) is infallible, why did you not just go visit your neighbors and enlighten them that their reality is what their subconscious truly believes--like healed from tobacco-induced cancer? Because, your hypothesis/theory is as much of a fraud as you are.

You sir are petaling junk-psychology. It would take a true narcissist to try and pass that off as an original thought. Btw, the "habit theory" and outgrowing took off in the 1970's. Now, if my math is correct, that puts your fraudlent hypothesis/theory prior to our 'antiquated' 1980's model.

Go pound sand, bitch.

[Mjollnir]

That is 22 years of sobriety.

You are playing with a dangerous toy.  This is not about a mental game, it is a physical thing and I have a great deal of personal experience with it.

Well 22 years of sobriety has not done much for your ethics. For anyone wondering, mj just deleted 3 posts to 3 articles I cited explaining what it is I am talking about.

Now, sir, please kindly go ahead and delete my account as I am no longer interested in taking part in a community that is all for censoring information that may help people recover from addictions they wish to be free from.

My conscious is clear.