Well here it is, 100 days quit from the chew....I never thought i would be here honestly. I have always wanted to quit for a long time but never got past a week. As my gums disappeared to below the roots of my teeth i got scared and would stop for a day, but always grabbed another can in a few days. is that not insane? To watch your mouth get severely damaged, but still chew? that was me. And i have swallowed for years. gutted my disgusting chew spit while at work or in a movie or at dinner,...wherever, it did not matter. My addiction to chew was so fucking powerful it came before everything. 20 years off and on roughly. Finally i came to this site. i was ready, scared shitless that i have mouth cancer. My gums are fucked. I tossed my can after talking to some people on here and began the journey. The first week was absolutely insane...im pretty sure i didnt do jack squat with work during that first week....i pretended to, but i was worthless. The fog and craving was relentless. I would come on here sometimes 40 times a day and just read. Read about people just like me that are now dead. People that made it through there quits and live great lives. Other guys like me with families, goals, a yearning to be alive. This site helped me in ways I cannot describe. Athan and Samrs, you guys deserve some serious recognition. you guys were on me every day, hounding me about roll, making sure I didn't cave. Genuine concern. I love you guys, thank you. And I love all my fellow July Quitters, i looked for you guys on roll every day...took inspiration from your posts. Thank you everyone. I lead a particularly chaotic career and haven't been able to write as much as I would like to, but all of you inspired me, helped me, supported me and gave me hope. Because sometimes the nicotine bitch takes everything from you, including your hope, but you were all there for me. You are all my brothers in QUIT.
I have gained 35 lbs in 3 months since i quit. I am fat as shit. Im trying to come accustomed to this new belly i have now...my wife grabbed me the other day and said to me " I will take you a hundred pounds heavier with no chew in your mouth any day of the week." it really puts a perspective on things...I am so blessed with a great family and now I can be their husband and father without nicotine. however, at 40 years of age, i think focusing on getting fit again is an important part of the quit journey...I am open to suggestions or joining a group of you guys to work on that lol....something like a roll call of i won't eat donuts and cake today...haha.
Congrats to all of you that have made it to 100 days and those of you that are so close. There are many people that i want to stay in touch with forever. And thank you to all of the people that are involved on this site that I haven't met....i want you to know that you indeed are making a difference, you are saving lives...KNOW that.
I will admit that i still crave chew every day. But i recognize it, and out smart it, but this battle will last the rest of my life, and I will be right here leaning on my brothers in quit for support when i need it, and lending my hand to lift you up when you need it as well. Stand strong, be blessed, and fight that nic bitch with everything you have. Thanks for everything.
