Day 1071
Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
time and complacency are corrosive to a quit, simply post up every day and take that away. 30 seconds is not a burden.
I have never thought of leaving in almost 1200 days because in these 3 years I have seen multiple 1000+ day caves. Hell, I post roll on 2 different sites because caving is not an option. Stay strong folks, 1000 days is the magical cure day.
I think this totally rational. It gets real frustrating to see so few of the people who were involved in my quit still posting, and there is a good chance that if you leave you'll stay quit.....but we all know it's out there, the scenario where you do cave...whether it's because you are drinking, or with old buddies, or all alone, we probably all have a series of events that if they do occur, we'd cave. Even if those events occurring are rare, I want to have KTC behind me. So I post, to dwindling numbers of people, but I post anyway. And today I quit with you.
So I post, to dwindling numbers of people, but I post anyway. I hear that from so many, even after HOF. I crave the accountability that comes from building relationships on here, I go in search of it. For the most part that comes with new quitters. My deal is simple, I will post daily with you only if you are willing to call me out if I am missing. Not oh you posted somewhere else, ect..... Hold my feet to the fire. I don't give a damn if I am 1000 days ahead of you. I am still 1 series of events from a day 1. I have more to loose, more is at stake and quit is who I am. But I am an addict, I will justify and rationalize, the smallest thought, till I have given myself premission. I need those quitters to smack my ego back in check or stop the justification games.
I don't want to kid myself, I still have those thoughts, but I know how to deal with them. I am here because I am an addict and no number of days will ever change that.
