21 days/ 3 weeks in. Feeling very strong about my quit now. Reading a ton on the site (if you have not visited the question thread in Wildcard, and you could use a good laugh, then check it out)
I spent week 1 cold turkey, but have been using some SMS over the last 2 weeks. The pouches are a bit small, but familiar as that is what I usually chewed. The loose stuff packs like crap and was an all over mess. Tried several varieties: straight, classic, wintergreen, and citrus. Think the citrus was the best tasting, but still a mess. Have some grinds pouches on order coming in this week to check out.
Last post I made in here was about another caver. He caved, came back, answered his 3 questions, posted days 12 then decided to leave the site and be quit on his own. His cave received a ton of back lash that he felt was just negativity for negativity's sake. His feelings reminded me of what I saw on here when I first joined back in 2012. I did not want to take all that abuse, and see that negativity. Now that I am back in the quit groove, I really do see the attack as a big part of the process for someone who caves. Get mad at yourself for allowing people to have a reason to give you a hard time about caving. They did not cave, you did, own it, fix it, rinse, repeat. When I came back at the beginning of the month, I started posting, without really checking out the site and understanding the program. I made some poorly informed statements and ate a lot of shit for those statements. In that instance, I was right where he was, pissed off at the world for abusing me and I almost gave up on the site for a second time. Then I had a moment of clarity as I described above: I realized that I was the source of my pain, not the comments directed towards me. If I had not done what I did, or said what I said, there would have been no reason to eat that shit sandwich. I have been in to post roll everyday for 21 days now in my group plus what would have been my group if I had stayed quit in 2012, texting day counts with 12 or 13 people from the site. These are the things I am doing differently to make sure I can keep my quit on ODAAT. For me personally, the ritual/routine of WUPPEDD is what is getting me through. I am a man of integrity, I may not have always felt that way about myself, and I keep my word. Giving my word, and knowing that about myself, is getting slowly easier to stay quit.
I know this is all over the place, just where my head is at after 21 days. Thanx for all the support and stay strong, stay quit!
edit to add: This piece of my intro is all about me, I reference another Nov member, but only as a jumping off point. As Jacobmidlin just posted in our group: what works for one doesn't necessarily work for all. I have mangaged people all of my adult life and that is one the most important lessons to learn. Tying back in to KTC, the manager role I learned in the restaurant business said there were 3 types of people who fail and we had a solution for each of them: Don't Know, Can't Do, and Don't Care. Teach the Don't cares (intros, and all the welcome info on this site) Re-purpose the Can't Dos (not on here, FB, other methods of quit) and for the Don't Cares, well they can f@#$ straight off and do something else with their time and stop wasting ours. Rant on/Rant over
