Deeper than Nicotine
The addict brain can range amongst many things from drugs obsessive compulsive disorder or even nicotine. How many people can look back and say that they have caved while trying to quit nicotine over and over and over again? Every time we cave we think itÂ’s because we are weak and that we canÂ’t handle the stress of quitting. I donÂ’t feel that is because we are weak I feel that there is deeper issues within ourselves. I even titled my hall of fame speech rising from the grips of demons for a reason. There is more to it than quitting at the weed tobacco nicotine or the urge of having an oral fixation. It is true that the nic bitch holds you down like a ball and chain like Mike1966 has mentioned many, many times before in this forum.
I have seen many people cave, I have too, many of times during my stops, this is by far the best most successful quit that IÂ’ve ever had in my life. I quit dip this time because I was sick of my jaw hurting I was over putting a dip in and taking it right out and wasting my money. I looked at my kids and I saw that every time I was spitting they were wondering what I was doing. I had Spitters in every car and almost every room in the house to include my office at work.
I started going through counseling right before I quit dip, Mrs. K and I were going through a very rough patch in our marriage at this time and we almost were getting a divorce. Something had to change drastically and immediately. Why did I start using nicotine? To be cool? To be part of the crowd? To be accepted? I think not! I was trying to fill a void, that empty space in my heart, my soul, my life. My father always made it seem like I had to be perfect in every aspect of my life so I was always trying to be perfect. News flash Richard! you cannot be perfect, nobody can be perfect, and running your life like that is going to do nothing but ruin it. I was sexually abused by the neighborhood boy up the street and a strange man at the swimming pool One Summer. Compiled with daddy issues not being accepted in school being an outcast my Depression started to rise I had nowhere else to turn, my friends were bad influences, I was a follower, I was weak, I need to be part of something.
I started to smoke, I thought it was cool, it was filling that void, or so I thought. Counseling has taught me a lot, I started working on my inner demons, my marriage has gotten better, me being a father has gotten better, I have quit dip and I do not ever look in my rearview mirror for it anymore other than to realize that it can still sneak up on me. I donÂ’t need that to fill a void in my life anymore, I have my family and that is fill enough. I have my life, I have all my friends, life is good, life is better, life without dip.
It wasnÂ’t until recently when I was watching all the people in March November October December January going through all the rage that we went through in our group of July and I started to realize with all the cavers and all the stressful situations, deaths, miscarriages, deployments, that compiling another problem on top of those will never be successful. When I realized that my mental state and I had to face all my inner demons I realized that is what was holding me back with quitting dip. it was all she wrote, it was Off to the Races and there I was living my life to the newest chapter. Just remember it is always deeper than just the nic. find that root cause and work on that and itÂ’ll help you be successful in your quit reach out help each other, help you. We all have stories like this, we all walk in each otherÂ’s shoes, just in our own way. All we need to do is quit for these 24 hours and these 24 hours alone, it is that easy.
