Sitting here feeling the need to journal. Man...Day 35 sure is sweet. It is the longest I have went without dip in 20+ years. The thing I am most excited about is I don't feel the need to celebrate with a dip! The temptation to buy a can has went down greatly and most times does not even exist. I truly believe that I have entered a place where I know dip won't help. In the past 35 days I have went on a family vacation to the beach, drove 2,000 miles in 8 days, disciplined my kids, fought with my wife, mowed the grass, went to the movie theater, went on dates with my wife, etc. and ALL without dip. I am getting stronger, but I think the fog is still in my head a lot of the time. Sometimes it goes away, but it is still there a lot. There is still some anxiety and depression. I am starting to feel like I can control it though. I mean if I can choose not to dip for 35 days I should be able to choose a lot of other things like what I am going to let my mind think about. My go to good thoughts are 1. kissing my kids good night and laying down a WINNER and 2. Sitting in bed relaxing and reading a good book knowing that I won. As crazy as it sounds my anxiety is LOWER than when I caved and dipped for 40 days. During that time I had guilt and anxiety which is a bad combo. Staying positive, helping others, and focusing on ODAAT has really made a difference. I can do anything for one day. I have also recruited at least 5 people to sign up and I can't let them down. Plus guys like Fishflorida and Athan are counting on me. The crazy thing is I don't worry about letting anyone down because I know I have control over that. It is a strange feeling I havent had before. This day 35 shit is uncharted waters for me. Im pretty sure I have replaced my addiction to dip with an addiction to KTC and fake dip.....but Ill take that right now. Bring on Day 36 bitches
