Day 98. Its been 13 days since I posted in my Intro. In the beginning I used it as a daily journal but now I use it as more of a reminder of how those first couple of months were. The fog, the funk, the craves, the determination to stay quit. As I look back I am amazed at how my body has dealt with this compared to "stops" in the past. In the past I never thought of myself as being foggy, funky, or whatever. I was just pissed off at everyone all the damn time. With the ammunition of KTC, I have learned how to deal with those foggy and funky days. Mainly I have learned what they are and why they occur. I also learned that I was not the only one going through all those emotions.
As I look back over the years I think about several things related to my use of nicotine. I remember "stopping" a few days before a physical exam so the nicotine wouldn't show up in my system only to "reward" myself in the truck right after my exam. Who in the hell was I fooling? I also "stopped" a couple days before a dental appointment. I brushed, flossed, and rinsed better because I thought it would make a difference. Who in the hell was I fooling? I used dip as a way to control my weight. Who in the hell was I fooling? The only person I was fooling was myself. My body suffered, my teeth suffered, and I'm still an out of shape, overweight guy (working on that now). Most of you know that I had "stopped" for 3 years (over 1000 days) in the past. The difference between then and now is the power of KTC. The nic bitch is patient, the nic bitch is sultry, the nic bitch is ruthless, and what I have learned to tell her over the past 98 days is "Not today bitch".
As I sit here thinking about how much shit has happened in the past 98 days($1200 repair bill on truck, falling of roof, tooth abscess, etc), I wonder why I used so many simple excuses (somebody pissed me off) in the past to cave. Lately things have settled down but I do like to remind myself that during the past few months a lot of stuff happened and I am still a 100% poster on June 14's Roll Call. Am I shooting for 100% for when I hit the 2nd floor? Hell yes!!
So what is it that makes this work? It's simple. ACCOUNTABILITY and BEING ACTIVE on KTC. Most of you that read this already knew that answer but for the newbies, I hope it helps. When I first joined I had a hard time exchanging my number. As a matter of fact I had quite a few PM's from people giving me theirs but I was late in giving them mine. I thought that Posting Roll and making a few entries in my intro was enough. Now I have quite a few numbers at my disposal and I use them when a friend is in trouble or simply as a way to tell someone. It's a great day to be quit. You will only get out of KTC what you give. Posting Roll and running is not enough for a successful quit. The main point is stick around and chat for awhile, Read intros, Post support for other months, etc. It will not only help you but it just may help save the life of someone else.
Yesterday I had my annual physical exam at the VA center. Everything went very well. All my bloodwork came up within normal limits. My blood pressure went from around 135/80 to 110/70. My LDL is high but hopefully working out and eating less will help that. She did a risk analysis on my heart disease risk and over a 10 year period I had a 2.4% chance of getting heart disease. The average is 1.9%. I know that quitting nicotine has been a HUGE help in this. I told the Nurse Practitioner about KTC and she was very curious. I gave a her a lot of information about it and she took notes. I am going to contact her and let her know that I am willing to come to the VA and talk about KTC at one of their tobacco quit groups meetings.
In summary: My quit is strong. The craves still happen. I have made myself accountable. My overall health is better. I have a shitload more friends now than ever. The power of KTC is awesome.
