Better late than never I guess. My name is Bryce and I have been using nicotine regularly since I was 17, so close to 20 years. Most of that addiction has been a can a day of Kodiak. Four sport athlete, grew up in a small town in South Dakota and I think baseball is what started me on dip. Went to college for commercial aviation but Sept. 11th happened and it scared me out of the industry. Moved to Omaha where I started with a restaurant company and spent 15 years working for them. Moved to Arizona in 2002 continuing to work for the same restaurant company. Made the move to the mortgage industry because I had a friend who owned a bank and he recruited me. Right before I made the move I got a new boss at my former gig that I nicknamed "two shakes Rodney" due to his over zealous micro-management and I feared he was going to follow me into a urinal some day, hence two shakes. Married my best friend and have two beautiful, young, hellish boys. I am currently 21 days into my quit and I am starting to grow a hatred for all things nicotine. I wake up every morning and the first thing I say to myself is "I'm not putting that fucking poison in my mouth", then I get on the shitter and post roll. It makes up for my previous habit of putting a fatty in and then go on the chive on the shitter. I have tried to stop in the past but obviously without success, before I was quitting for the wrong reasons, my wife, my family, a health scare etc. This time IT IS DIFFERENT because I am quitting for me.
The last day I used tobacco was Jan 2nd 2018... every Friday on the way home from my office job I stop at the same gas station and buy three cans of Kodiak. I forgot that Monday the 1st was a holiday so I fucked up and should have bought four cans. Monday night my can is getting low and I wanted to be ready for the morning "get up, put a dip in and take a shit." So I go to my briefcase in my truck and low and behold all cans are empty. Immediately panic strikes me, WTF am I going to do, now granted I had plenty for my morning dip but all I can say is absolute panic. I talk myself off the ledge and tell myself I will have one for the morning and then I will stop and get a can on my way to work. I wake up the next morning and put a dip in just like every morning, but today was different. I had an empty can and no tobacco in my possession. So I googled "dip withdraw symptoms" and poof KTC. I read the article that all of you have then I come across the spousal support article. I emailed that to my wife...... I swear to god I still to this day have no idea what came over me but I just said I am done. I am fucking done, I can do this, if I put my mind to something I can crush it. 21 days later I am still here and let me tell you I AM ALL IN. I think the strongest part of my quit is the hatred that is brewing, the sense of embarrassment of all the stupid things I've done in my dipping life. Standing in front of 100 people teaching a training session with a FUCKING DIP IN. Seriously who the fuck does that? I would have a dip in all day at work and spit in the trash can, the poor fucking lady that cleans the office must fucking hate my ass. I hid chewing from my parents... everyday I post roll with them through a group text message for an additional layer of accountability.
I am fucking quit, today, and again tomorrow.
PPIHM (positive people I have met) MN, TPutney, BatDad, BrianG, Donkey, Dog, Pabs, COB, DavidS, the ironmen from March 2014, JB, Wildirish, Samrs, and all of my brothers and sister of April 2018